Rippled (5 page)

“Pressure you brought on yourself. Not only that, but…look at me! I’m pressure bottled up. Stick a label on me, for crying out loud! And that brings us back to the rumours about new bloods and Krista’s reaction. What if we’re just delayed? What if we’re just waiting to have the same kind of reaction she did?”

“Delayed? How?” Malcom looked at me from underneath his set of bushy eyebrows.

“What if we just haven’t reacted yet? What if the virus still has a chance to mutate after the first shift?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I would’ve seen some sort of hint on your smears.”

“But what if it just hasn’t happened yet?”

“Do I hear a tint of fear in your voice? Is that why this is bothering you? That you might lose yourself?”

“I already have. Dead without being dead.”

“Oh, Brian, don’t be so dramatic.” He smiled and returned to his work as if I wasn’t even there.

“Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I spoke to my family? Months…maybe even a year. I don’t fucking know. I can’t ask my sister how her wedding went or even make a call to check on my niece. This isn’t a life you’ve made for us—it’s a damned cage, and you know it!” I could feel the leopard bubbling up from the pit of my stomach, and I fought it back down just enough so I didn’t kill Malcom. Before he could react, I had him against the wall with my arm under his throat. My next words came out in a voice that wasn’t my own. “You will not test them again. Forget this. Leave us be!”

Malcom didn’t flinch. “You know, I’d really hate to sedate you. It’d be a waste of resources.”

I surfaced from my rage just long enough to see a pair of nurses filing in behind me, a set of needles in their hands. Using whatever willpower I had left, I backed away.

“You can leave us now,” Malcom said to the nurses. “Just a small disagreement.” He rubbed at his neck, and once the nurses were out of the room he said, “Why are you so invested in this? I bet if it were anyone else, you wouldn’t even bat an eye.”

I placed a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him to look me right in the eye. It worked, but only long enough for the redness on his face to darken. He might not have been a shifter, but even his rage could turn him into something we’d both regret.

“There are other ways—safer ways to control her,” I said, releasing him when I was sure he wouldn’t turn away.

“And you know this from experience?” Malcom asked, giving me an incredulous look.

It didn’t need an explanation.
You don’t need to analyse every damned thing.
I nodded.

“Yes, I’m well aware of your sexual practices, but I don’t think you dominating her will make a difference.”

Malcom didn’t move.

“It’s better than this. Keeping her drugged? You honestly think that’s a better choice? She isn’t an animal, Malcom!”

“Oh, so you’re saying when she shifted it was my imagination, is that it?”

“You know what I mean. You can’t just treat her like a lab rat or some other experiment.”

Malcom sighed the kind of sigh he usually did whenever my words began to sink in. “If you’re so sure you can control her as well as her shifts, then tell me this. Are you asking for my permission to do this because of the virus, or because of her?”

“Why not both?”

“Getting involved will cloud your judgement.”

“Not with her it won’t.” I turned for the door, but I didn’t open it. I glanced over at my shoulder at Malcom, who was still staring back at me “But getting drugged by someone I thought was my friend has.” I shook my head and corrected myself before he had a chance to respond. “Wait, I take that back. If anything, it’s shown me how much of a prick you are.”

And with that, I opened the door and stormed out of the room. If he wasn’t willing to hold off on bringing new blood in, I’d have to get the old blood out.

Chapter Five

Brian

About a week or so after Krista had arrived, I found myself sitting in her personal quarters. As usual, she was fighting off the drugs in her system, and while she might have been a little groggy, an endless list of questions filled the space between us. She knew enough about Malcom from her own observations as well as what I’d told her.

“How do you know him?” she’d asked, then explained herself when I shrugged. “The way you talk about him makes it kind of obvious. How do you know him?”

“How do you mean?” I wasn’t sure if she wanted a simple answer before moving on to the next question or our entire history together.

“Well, how did you meet? There’s no way I can see you hanging out with…”

“Go ahead and say it. I don’t mind.”

“Someone as messed up as him.” She sat up on her bed. “What happened?”

I took a deep breath, and at first I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. “We were college roommates. We were both really into genetics and the idea of changing one’s appearance just through cell research. We ended up working on a thesis about it for class.”

“And that’s where the formula came in.”

“A theoretical one, yes. I never thought he’d actually do it, though. Of course, he used to brag about how easy it would be, but I honestly thought he was joking.”

“So, what? You two were some kind of prodigies?”

“Not really.” I smiled. “It was just something we were both passionate about that got out of hand—is still out of hand.” I ran a hand through my hair. “It looked perfect on paper, but that’s as far as I ever expected it to go. But Malcom—man, when he gets an idea in his head, there’s no stopping him.”

“Not even if he fails?”

“No. If anything, failure just makes him work that much harder.”

“Which is why he wants to run the tests again—to bring in…new blood?”

I winced at the words
new blood.
She’d heard me mention them before, completely by mistake, and the way the words just rolled off her lips made me realise just how horrible it was to label Malcom’s latest subjects in such a degrading way. “I promise to do everything in my power to keep them from sedating you. He needs to see that it’s in your genetic code and that, if done right, it can be controlled…without drugs.”

She leant back on her elbows and stared at the ceiling above her bed. “Can’t you just tell him to back off?”

“I’ve tried. The problem I’m running into now is his love for puzzles. He’s been a problem-solver for as long as I’ve known him, and he hates the fact that this puzzle—”

“Meaning me.”

“Yes. It infuriates him that he can’t figure you out. He wants to help, but in his own way.”

“You mean by feeding his mental ego.”

I bowed my head. “I guess you could say that.”

“What about you?” Her voice softened, which surprised me almost as much as her next question. “Do I annoy you?”

I lifted my gaze so fast it made me dizzy. “Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“You’re a problem-solver like him, but you haven’t figured me out either.”

“I don’t have to. You’ll tell me what I want to know when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now.”

The way she looked at me just then would have been enough to knock me off my feet if I hadn’t already been sitting down beside her. I’d been extremely careful with the way I looked at her. The way I talked to her. And yet, here she was, giving me the most submissive look I’ve ever seen. Even her posture was one belonging to a submissive.

While her eyes were locked on mine, her head was slightly bowed. She licked her lips. Curled and uncurled her toes, almost as if to show me how impatient she was. She set her hands in her lap. Played with the bottom of her pants leg.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, but she didn’t pull away. My eyes asked her if she was ready.
Are you sure?
She didn’t blink. If this had been a staring contest, it probably would’ve lasted until we passed out, and with the way she was looking at me, I would probably have been the first one to give in. Dom or not, she was almost too fucking beautiful to touch.
Almost.

I took her hands in mine. Lifted one of them to my lips, but I didn’t kiss it.
Not yet.
My hold on her was loose, giving her more than enough time to change her mind. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she laced her fingers with mine as a smile played on her lips.

I took a deep breath. Breathed her in—breathed in her warm, citrus scent. Comforting. She wore just enough perfume to hint at her femininity. And beneath that, her natural scent, both human and leopard alike.

A strand of hair fell in front of her eyes, and I quickly tucked it behind an ear. She blushed. Smiled a little wider. God, if it weren’t for that smile, I would’ve kissed her right then, but it was the kind of smile I didn’t want to chase away. Warm. Contagious. I hadn’t seen her smile like that since she’d got here, and while I was pretty sure she was still bitter about Malcom, her shifting, not shifting and her part in all of this, all of that was forgotten if only for the briefest of moments. And I planned to take full advantage of it.

When I was sure her smile wouldn’t grow any further, I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. She leaned in to the caress and closed her eyes.

Oh, yes, I have you now.

I had to take it slow. Give her every opportunity to back away. I hoped to God she wouldn’t, but this slow dance of ours wasn’t meant to be done and over with.

It had been so long since I’d been with anyone, I was afraid if I moved too fast I’d break her. Holding a hand against her neck, I monitored her pulse. Erratic, but not frightened. I walked the tips of my fingers to the nape of her neck and tilted her head back. She kept her eyes closed. Inhaled. Exhaled.

I weaved my fingers in her hair and carefully pulled at it.
Don’t tug.
Tugging was what I might have done as a Dom, but she wasn’t mine.
Yet.
Yanking on her gorgeous hair would’ve meant I was the more assertive one out of the two of us, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Not for our first kiss.

I watched her throat as she swallowed. Resisting the urge to put my ear to her chest and listen to the waltz of her rapid heartbeat, I wrapped one hand around her wrists. Held them in her lap. And still, she didn’t open her eyes. I knew now that there was no fear. Apprehension perhaps, but not fear. I’d given her every opportunity to walk away. She hadn’t taken a single one.

Taking a breath, I leaned in, gently brushing her lips with mine. It was a tentative, there-but-not-there kind of kiss. A way to test the waters. And when she didn’t pull away, I pushed it a little further. I moved my hand to the small of her back, pulling her in close. She didn’t squirm. She didn’t back away. Instead, she melted against me, coiling her arms around my neck.

In that brief moment, I wasn’t sure who was in control—me with my tongue coaxing her lips to open, or Krista with her hands against my neck, refusing to let go.

When we both finally came up for air, the room was spinning. Krista let her head fall back, and I lowered her onto the bed.

“Was that ready enough for you?” she breathed, wearing the same smile I’d seen on her before.

“And then some,” I said, lying down beside her. My hands begged to trace her jaw, to draw circles on her breasts. I kept them to myself. The kiss was over, and far as I could tell, the moment had passed. “You can kiss me like that anytime you want.”

She rolled over to face me and curled up against my chest. Oh, yes, I could get used to this.

Chapter Six

Brian

Days after our kiss, we were back in her quarters. Even though I’d hoped for a repeat of what had happened before, I didn’t press her. It was hard to say now if her kiss had come from her need to take some form of control over her life or something else entirely. And I was more than happy to wait until she figured it out.

After lying back on her bed and resting her arms on her stomach, she asked, “So why can’t I remember anything?”

“Because you’re drugged.” I let out a deep breath. “They—Malcom thinks the less you remember, the less you’ll react.”

“Okay…but I don’t see how that can help.” She rolled over and propped herself up on an elbow.

“A strong reaction like we’re talking can also cause you to shift, and if you don’t have control over your shifts—”

“I get it, it’s bad.”

“It can be, but I don’t think keeping you drugged is helping. There are other ways…things we can try, to control it.”

“Like what?” She sat up.

Well, that certainly got her attention.
“It takes a bit of explaining, and it might make me sound more like a creep than anything else.”

“Compared to everyone else here?”

“I’m serious.” I still wasn’t sure what all she could remember, so I took it slow. “We’ve kissed, right?”

Krista frowned at me. “I’m the one with the memory issue.”

“No, no, I know. I mean, well, we wanted to kiss, right? Or you wanted it?”

Again, she furrowed her brow. “I don’t get what kissing has to do with—”

“If we’d met anywhere else but here, would you have kissed me back? I know this is making no sense at all, but just give me a moment.”

“I guess. It’s hard to say seeing as I don’t really know much else outside of being here.”

“Forget it.” I waved a hand in the air as if that gesture alone could erase this entire conversation.

“No, tell me. I’m curious. Was it only supposed to be a kiss?” Her cheeks reddened, and she looked away.

I smiled. “It was, but it doesn’t have to be.”

“Okay, now I’m really confused.”

“I’m just going to come out and say it then.”

Just count to three and get it over with. What’s the worst she could do?

She could kick you out
.

“I control women. In bed.” I coughed around the words. “With my voice.”

Her face darkened even more. “Don’t all guys do that, though?”

“I know we’re going way off topic here, but no, not every guy is like that. They try to be, but…that’s a different matter.”

“Okay, so you can…control me? In bed?”