Rise of the Magi (16 page)

The instant I emerged in the shifter on the other side, angry growls and shouts slammed into me.

In the corner, Liam grappled with—judging by the golden fur and long tail—a lion. It might have shocked me more, if I hadn’t known one had tried to kill Liam in one of the many challenges to the Unseelie throne before the whole Shadowborn fiasco. Our impending child rendered the fight a moot point. It was beyond heinous to harm a fae child since they were so rare, or to damage a mated pair capable of conceiving. Assuming no fae would ever cross the line, Liam would be fine. Didn’t mean the lion wouldn’t try to break some bones.

Liam slammed the beast into the wall, but it shifted its body enough to sink its teeth into his arm. Howling, Liam brought his foot into the cat’s belly, but it didn’t so much as flinch.

Neve threw a fist at the speed of canon-fire, rocking the beast sideways and sending Liam with it.

When the arched doors opened, I summoned my Light and said, “Those from the Black City, be still!” Command rang through my voice, along with my Will, and they all froze in place. “Lion, release your king.”

Brígh rubbed her arms, shivering. “I really hate it when you do that. I feel like I need to drop and kiss your feet or something.”

I frowned at that, guilt running through me for using my
cumhacht
without so much as trying to talk to them first. That habit needed to break, fast, because I didn’t want to make anyone feel like bowing to me, especially not Brígh. “Sorry,” I muttered, though it sounded inadequate.

Liam returned to us with his fingers wrapped around the opposite bicep, where blood trickled from. After checking to make sure his wounds had begun to heal, I went to the nearest Unseelie guard. His blue eyes with stars of gold pierced me with hatred even greater than what I’d seen staring back from Neasa.

“We’re here to give you a warning and nothing else,” I said, catching as many eyes as I could before coming back to the one trying hard to kill me with his glare. “I’m sorry I resorted to using my Will against you, but fighting my mate made me react harshly. The Magi have begun attacking.” Liam and I told them what had happened to the elves and what Brígh had seen. “If you want to help us fight this time, you know where to find us.” I headed for the portal. “And if you don’t, at least take some precautions in case your wards fail, because if they do, you’re all dead.”

• • •

Back in Iress, Liam and I parted ways with the others without a word. We all knew what was at stake, that three hundred of our brethren in Dun Bray, and a thousand more in the Black City, had most likely signed their own death certificates. I couldn’t help but feel at least partially responsible for it. They didn’t trust me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, either, if I’d lived their lives and some broad came and changed everything I knew. Not that I knew how I’d have done anything differently if I had an opportunity to go back and change it—other than being a little kinder—but it still bothered me and made me ache to find a way to repair the rift I’d created.

15

We located Gallagher on the main floor of the castle in the infirmary, sitting on Nix’s bed with his bowtie dangling untied down his chest.

The sterile scent of cleaner and alcohol stung my nose, and the lights against the white walls always made me wish I had sunglasses on.

Andrew, Trevor and four other guards stood around the room, feet wide, eyes wary, frowns weighing down the corners of their mouths. Other than his drive to prove himself, I didn’t fully understand Andrew’s degree of concern regarding Nix. He was just one unconscious man, who Andrew could lock in time with a thought if he needed to. It niggled at me to get the full problem out on the table in case I was, yet again, overlooking something obvious to everyone else. Andrew was a moody man, but I’d known right out of the gate he had stellar instincts. Maybe only time could close that gap between us. I hoped we’d have that time.

Nix lay under a cotton sheet stained in several places with his blood, the wounds oozing enough even thick bandages hadn’t stopped the bleeding. The swelling in his face and his black eyes made it hard to recognize him. If it hadn’t been for his hair and the long lashes I’d have known anywhere, I might have doubted his identity. They must have been magical injuries, like the ones Andrew had received, for them not to be healed yet.

I probably should have healed him before parting ways at the car, but I knew exactly what my guards and Liam would have said about it. Touching a wildcard would have been tantamount to grabbing hold of a sleeping dragon and giving it a poke in the side.

“Any luck?” I put my hand on Gallagher’s shoulder, and his fingers slid over mine.

He shook his head, sending his dreads dancing a jig along his suit and my wrist. “He is what I’d call absent, as if the Magi somehow suppressed his soul down so far he’s having difficulty coming back. It could take days for me to reach his mind, and, although it is safer for me to try when he comes nearer to the surface, I fear we are wasting valuable time.”

I swallowed the barbs from my throat. “What do you mean, safer?” At his silence, I pushed on his shoulder to make him look at me. “Gallagher.”

He shivered and straightened as if he’d forgotten I was there. For a moment, he rubbed his jaw, the white stubble thicker than I’d ever seen on the usually immaculately groomed man. “To go so deep would mean my soul must leave me entirely and enter him. I could be trapped down there with him if I’m not careful to pay attention to the path I take.”

My brow creased as I tried to make some sense out of what he’d said.
Path?
My mind conjured images of a road in Nix’s mind before I realized how asinine that sounded. “Then, you’re not doing it.”

“What?” Liam pulled me around to face him. “Look, I know there’s a risk, but let’s think about this.” His gaze went from me to Gallagher and back again. “No offence, Gallagher, and please don’t think I’m being cold about this, just trying to be practical when it comes to protecting the whole. If Nix has the information we need, we need it now, not after we’re all dead.”

Liam’s logic made perfect sense if I ignored the fact that I loved the old fart to death. Since my father had been gone, Gallagher had taken his place as my shoulder to lean on, my fatherly figure, my voice of caution. “Can’t anyone else do it? Any of the other telepaths?”

Smiling, Gallagher came to his feet and kissed my cheek. “That you care enough to ask such a thing means more to me than I could possibly express. However, I, like you, would never risk another when I can do it better myself. There are few telepaths as strong as me, and all of those are spread to the far corners of the country helping the humans rebuild, or I suppose moving to the cities now.”

I noticed he didn’t mention Arianne, not that I’d consider her for the job, but I thought maybe she’d give him a run for top of the telepath class even then, forget when she grew older.

The weight on my shoulders seemed a million tons heavier all of a sudden as everyone stared at me, even Liam. Why did I have to decide? Why couldn’t Liam do it?
Damn, I’m such a coward.
I knew exactly why he couldn’t, and why I had to. If he made the decision, I’d have an excuse to be angry with him instead of angry at the problem. Laerni had made me see that dark and dirty part of my personality clearly. Pissed me off for a week, too, before I accepted it. Although I didn’t like it one bit, my life had become a little smoother because of that acknowledgement. I had to weigh the risks and decide, so I couldn’t be angry at anyone but myself if the choice blew up in my face.

Keep Gallagher safe and possibly lose the one chance we had of finding the Magi before they killed us all? Or send my old friend to a possible mental prison within Nix? When it came down to it, there really wasn’t any choice at all.

I gave a reluctant nod and said, “Okay, fine, do it.” Fingers fisted into his white collar, I drew him nose to nose. “But you had better come back in a hurry, because if you don’t, I’m going to do nasty things to your body until you do. Put you in a dress, shave your hair off. Don’t think I won’t.”

His bright burst of laughter infected the entire room, Andrew included, which lightened my heart a small degree. I hugged my aide, lingering way longer than I should have before going for the door. I was afraid to watch him slip away and leave his eyes vacant like my father had looked when Liam and I buried his body with our own hands. “We need to get something to eat,” I said to Andrew. “First sign of anything—”

“I got your back, boss lady.” He saluted, face tight. “I know what to do. Now, stop distracting me so I can do my job.”

“You and I need to have a conversation about your scars and the pond you—”

Arms flexing, Andrew said, “Not. Now,” gritting out the words.

Gallagher raised one white eyebrow—his silent question: whether or not I wanted him to invade Andrew’s head.

I gave him a subtle head shake. “I’m going to get something to eat before this kid starves me to death, and as soon as we come back, you and I are going for a walk.” I stared until Andrew met my gaze, which took a long, heated while. Instead of anger, I found only cold fear. “I’m not ask—”

“Fine. After Gallagher does his thing and not before.”

As Liam and I left, I muttered, “Why does he always interrupt me? And I hate it when he calls me boss lady. I get that he’s had a hard go, but geez.”

Chuckling, Liam said, “His life aside, I gather he’s always been one to tease. He likes to push your buttons, and he knows where most of them are since you’re about as good at hiding your feelings as a porcupine is at blowing up balloons.”

“Yeah, well, I’m going to pop him in the mouth one of these days until we come to an understanding. We’ll see how much he likes me pushing
that
button.”

“He cares about you, and he’s worried so much, it’s killing him from the inside out.”

“I get that, but why doesn’t he just talk to me? Why not tell me about his father and his dreams, and that he encountered the Magi before, even though he probably didn’t know what they were until now? Why act like a paranoid ass all the time instead of dealing with what’s on his mind?”

“You’re not much different, but that’s another argument.” At my narrowed eyes, he kissed me and continued, “Guys don’t show worry the same way women do. Doing his job to the extreme is his way of coping with all of this. He needs to know he’s done everything in his power to make sure you’re around to do whatever it is you need to do, even if that means protecting you from yourself, so just let him, okay?”

Huh.
Before Neve’s story and Liam’s insight, I’d never considered that Andrew had actual feelings other than grump with a dash of humor and raw sexuality. Other than when he was with Neve, of course. When he looked at her, the hard-ass façade came down, and he seemed nothing more than a man smitten. “Yeah, okay, Mr. Smarty Pants.”

Since it wasn’t mealtime for anyone other than pregnant chicks and big strapping men who’d forgotten to eat breakfast, Liam and I raided the kitchen for leftovers from the previous night’s supper. The ingredients were all grown on Iress’s farm, but the two chefs, one former Seelie and the other Unseelie, were always trying to outdo one another, so the grub was usually to die for.

“Oh, smoked turkey drumsticks!” I withdrew my awkward body from the double-wide fridge with one in my fist, offering it to Liam.

He chuckled at me as he took it. “Only you could get excited over a piece of dead bird.”

I shot him a squinty-eyed look before helping myself to two more dinosaur-sized drumsticks covered in some sort of spice. “Look, I spent a few years living on bugs and rabbit food, buddy. You give that a whirl, and let me know how good this looks to you afterwards.” I tore a hunk of delicious meat off, filling my mouth to a point I couldn’t tell him off for bursting out laughing again. I’d have meant it, too. It filled my soul with acid to laugh with so much horror in the past few days. It wasn’t right to feel happy while a war raged on with the outcome far from decided.

Liam set his half eaten turkey on a plate and wrapped his arms around me, though I couldn’t reciprocate without getting the food involved. “You should never feel bad about a moment of laughter, no matter what’s at stake or who’s in trouble.” He brushed his lips against my ear, sending shivers along my spine. “We don’t know what’s going to happen, and if this truly is all we get—which I don’t believe it is, but humor me—then we should be allowed moments of happiness, even if they’re fleeting.”

I dropped my forehead forward and thunked it against his shoulder. “Why do you have to be so damned logical all the time?”

More snickers. “Because my wife insists on taking the wounds of the world upon herself and keeps forgetting to stop and live now and then. You haven’t had a moment to breathe, to bask in life’s pleasures, since you were thirteen years old, so cut yourself some slack.”

“I just keep thinking that everyone would be much better off if I’d never been born or someone had offed me when they realized what Parthalan wanted me for.”

“Our world is in a state of flux right now, and you’re the one forcing a change of the tides. The Goddess prepared you for war and gave you me, and I’m sure she never promised it would be easy or you’d have a guaranteed win. You told me I needed to have faith, so this is me having faith.” He wiggled his finger on the end of my nose. “In you. In us. In our ability as a people to come out the other side of this and reform a new whole, like we’re supposed to. I know you feel solely responsible for everything, but you’re not, so give it up and accept it. Delegate, ask for help, and trust—all the things you’re worst at, I know. You have to this time.”

In need of his touch, I wrapped my arms around his neck, forgetting about the drumsticks. One jabbed into his ear before I grunted my frustration and tossed them on his plate. Once he stopped laughing and rubbing the spices from the side of his head, I grabbed him again, and we stayed like that, in silence for a long time, my face against his throat, his breath warming my hair. I didn’t need to tell him what I was thinking, partly because I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat, and because he could feel it for himself, anyway. He’d said exactly what I needed to hear, had known what I was afraid to do, to burden anyone else with a problem that was mine alone. If I couldn’t fight it by myself, the way I’d always done, I saw it as a failure. Maybe Andrew and I had something in common after all.