Rising Heat (25 page)

I had compassion for the guilt he carried, and yet it was something more. Something that touched me in places I had never imagined another person could touch. Maybe it was just that I was so empathetic, so dedicated to helping the animals I loved so dearly. Maybe it was something about me, like the something that compelled me to want to become a veterinarian. Something that wanted to help the wounded. Make them better.

Did I think I could make Ash better? Heal his internal wounds? Heal his wounded soul? Maybe. Maybe that made me a fool, or it made me a better person. I didn’t know. All I knew was that I felt so much for Ash. Maybe a lot more and a lot deeper than I would ever have imagined. Yes, we were practically strangers, but isn’t that how people always met? As strangers?

He was different, no doubt about that. He might be rich. How rich, I didn’t know, but I guessed it didn’t really matter. Just because a person had money didn’t mean they didn’t have problems. Just because a person had money didn’t mean they didn’t experience the same pain in life that others did. While I couldn’t even begin to understand Ash’s pain, his guilt, and that yearning for belonging I think he kept well-hidden, I supposed it wasn’t right for me to judge his rationale for joining a gang. He had done what he felt was best for him, at that time and place in his life.

The sound of laughter erupted from the main room. I cringed. My heart skipped a beat. Again. How many beats could my heart skip without stopping altogether? But I knew one thing. Ash didn’t belong with these people. I had a feeling he’d known that for a long time but just didn’t know what else to do with himself. No, Ash wasn’t at all like these people. Despite his size, his aura of toughness and even arrogance, I got the impression that inside, Ash was one of those gentle souls. He could defend himself, no doubt about it. He could fight when he had to. He could be tough when he wanted to. But inside, at this moment, comparing him to the Neanderthals out there in the room, I realized that beneath Ash’s tough exterior was a very sensitive soul.

A soul that I liked very much.

*

I didn’t know how much time passed. I knew my arms ached, and my bladder had gone numb. I knew my wrists were bleeding from trying to escape my binds, I could feel the blood dripping down my fingers.

I knew the men outside that door seemed to be having a grand old time while they waited for Ash to appear. While they partied and I worried, a new thought occurred. If they let me go, traded me for Ash as they promised, how could I go on with my life knowing that a man I cared deeply for had traded his life for mine?

How does one live with something like that?

Then I scoffed, a brittle sound that echoed in my ears.

There wouldn’t be a trade. They wouldn’t let me go, I knew that now. You didn’t just kidnap a person and release them when they promised to stay quiet. Ash would be killed, and they would force me to watch. Or maybe they would force him to watch them rape me first. Either way, what was left of both our lives would be torture.

I had to escape. For both of us.

Wincing against the pain, I began to saw at my bindings again, biting my lip to keep from screaming as my wounds reopened.

There was a small window in the office. It appeared to have been painted shut, but it was just big enough for me to crawl through, if I could get free. But the ropes were strong and appeared to be woven through the bars of the chair. I’d tried and tried but hadn’t been able to cut through them.

I’d stopped wondering if Ash would come. He would, I knew it. If he hadn’t already been hurt or killed, he would come.

Not because of any love for me, but because he wouldn’t be able to live with more blood on his hands, another burden of guilt. The potential of someone else he cared for dying because of him.

I sawed harder at the rope. Bit my lip harder to keep from crying out. I had to do what I could to try to get away. To find the police. It couldn’t end like this, for Ash or for me.

A sharp bang startled me. Startled me so bad that I literally jerked up off the chair and tried to stand up, taking the chair with me. Only the bindings holding me down kept me from flying out of that chair. That bang was immediately followed by shouts of alarm. Curses. Several sharp, loud pops. Gunfire?

What was happening? And then I smelled smoke. Oh God. Was the place on fire? Had something exploded? My eyes wide with panic, the pulse throbbing in my neck, I struggled against my bindings again. No good. Still standing, I heaved the heavy chair onto my back. Holding my breath, I ran backward, ramming the chair against the wall, no longer caring about the noise I was making.

The pain was incredible, but the chair cracked the tiniest bit. I walked forward as far as I could, and did it again, ramming the chair into the wall behind me.

I ricocheted forward, landing on my knees, and with no hands to catch me, my face.

Lying there, dazed, I tried to get up, but needed to catch my breath for just a minute. Outside the door in the main room, more chaos erupted. Over the sounds of shouting, a couple of motorcycles roar to life, revving, a couple fading away, and then more shouting, a few more pop, pop, pops. The smoke grew heavier. Filtered its way under the crack in the door. I coughed. Oh my God. Was this how it would end? I was going to burn to death? Would I die of smoke inhalation before crackling flames found my flesh?

My parents. They wouldn’t know what happened to me. They would think I had just disappeared. Nothing would be left of me besides my charred remains. Maybe, if they were lucky, they might be able to get DNA out of one of my teeth—

Heavy footsteps stopped outside of the door. I froze, stared at it in growing horror. It burst open. A huge bulk filled the door, and I knew immediately that it wasn’t Ash.

I closed my eyes as the figure stepped into the room. I didn’t want to see what came next.

Ash

I
chaffed at the bit, waiting and watching, hidden in the tree line behind the old diner. I didn’t like this shit. Felt useless. I hated this feeling. I wanted to be down there. Wanted to charge into that fuckin’ dilapidated old diner and barrel through the walls and find Kathy. I wanted to find Spider. Smash his teeth in. If I ran into Mops or Digger, I’d do the same. My chest heaved with the strength of my fury, but my hands were tied. If not literally, then figuratively.

No, I didn’t like this plan one bit. I should be out there, with Bones and Sarge and the Feebs rescuing Kathy. I had gotten her into this mess. I was the one who should be getting her out of it. But no. I was stuck back here, watching the rear of the building. Listening to the sounds of the fighting, unable to participate. I should have ignored them. Told the Feebs to go screw themselves. But there was more at stake than my sense of pride. My dignity.

Not only Kathy. But Sarge. Bones. More at stake than I would have ever imagined. The moment I knew that the Outlaws had taken her, I knew that I would stop at nothing to find her. To try to protect her. Even if I had to die to do it. It wasn’t just Kathy that needed saving though. It was me. My future. I had made a break from the gang, but that didn’t mean it was over. Far from it.

After the brief meeting with Sarge and Bones, we had headed down into Golden. In another motel, we had met with a group of federal agents. Two from the FBI, one from the DEA, and one from the DOJ. This was some heavy shit. I was glad I had gotten out when I did. At the same time, I was worried about Bones. And Sarge, to be honest. While I didn’t know him well, I had seen him around for the past year, keeping along the fringes, much like Bones and I did. He kept to himself. Seriously kept to himself. I think in the times I had been around him, I’d heard him speak about five words. Maybe.

During that excruciatingly long half hour at the motel, I was quickly brought up to speed. The Outlaws had to keep thinking that I was the undercover. Sarge’s mission in the gang wasn’t over. Bones was on his way out, but he still had some sense of the pulse of the group. I didn’t feel a bit guilty about what was about to go down. The gang got whatever the hell they deserved. Taking Kathy had done it for me. All bets were off. No more misguided sense of loyalty, no more hesitance, wondering if I had made the right choice. No regrets. Absolutely no regrets.

So here I was, hatred boiling in my heart, pounding through my veins, feeling like a coward. Hiding in the woods, staying away from the action. But this was bigger than me.

The feds had stressed that my face was not to be seen by any of them or all their careful planning, and even Sarge’s safety would be compromised. After the raid was over, I would disappear.

There was no doubt that many of the gang members would be arrested. Many of them would end up going to trial. But plenty of them wouldn’t. If Spider escaped, it would be vitally important for Sarge to continue his role, especially to keep track of what was going on with the potential development of an association between the Outlaws and the Juárez cartel. The leaders of the gang had gotten their talons into the cartel, were making deals. It was worse than I’d thought. Spider had been negotiating behind the gang’s back, sending them on jobs that had less to do with financing the gang than proving something to the cartel. There had been murder. There had been twenty women sold into a new sex ring. When I heard the truth of it, I felt the bile rising in my throat. Bones looked at me and nodded. Without exchanging a word, I knew he felt the same.

I felt betrayed again. By my expectations. By my own foolishness. By my blind faith that the gang had brought me a sense of belonging, of family. Shit. In the beginning, they did, before they’d turned into bottom-sucking scum. I didn’t belong there anymore. Maybe I never had.

I felt empty. Worn out. Disgusted with myself for wasting so many years with them. Thinking that I was okay.

Those thoughts hovered on the edges of my consciousness as I watched from just inside the tree line behind the diner. I was supposed to wait here for Sarge. He would get Kathy out.

Not me.

If
she was in there. If she was safe and unharmed.

They could have taken her somewhere else. Holding her offsite until I showed.

I hadn’t had time to ask Bones many questions. How had he found out about Sarge? Did he approach Sarge or was it the other way around? How had Sarge found out where Kathy was being kept? At this point, I loathed placing my trust in him, but knew I didn’t have much choice.

While I was only concerned about Kathy’s safety and getting her away from the gang relatively unscathed, I also realized that there was a bigger picture to all of this. Sarge had spent over a year finagling his way into the gang, pretending to be one of us. One of them rather. I didn’t know much about undercover operations, but I knew that the dedication it took was nothing to be taken lightly.

The plan was that the feds, along with a local SWAT team, would storm the diner. They weren’t going to wait for the gang to meet up at the abandoned gas station later. Sarge and Bones had arrived hours earlier, hanging with the gang like normal. When the first flash bang was tossed into the building, they would pretend to defend the gang. A smoke bomb would go in next, and they’d use its cover to get Kathy out.

I had too many concerns. Too many questions. But there was no time. I couldn’t waste a second berating myself. Feeling guilty or regrets. Not just yet.

Sarge said that Digger was the one who had been assigned to snatch her from the motel and bring her down here. If I could, I would enjoy wrapping my hands around his throat. The same applied to Spider. The wannabe cartel associate. He was a nobody so desperate to be a somebody that he didn’t realize who he was getting into bed with.

Unfortunately, nobody’s had a way of making themselves known, of making a name for themselves. And it was those kinds of guys that were the most dangerous. I had underestimated Spider. He might not be the smartest, but he was mean, and he was taking the gang right along with him. Bones was right in that there would be plenty of members of the gang who didn’t want to go in the direction Spider was taking them. But that did little good. Either you belonged, or you didn’t.

I clenched my fists tightly as I crouched down behind a tree near the back of the diner, desperate to clobber something. Two of the gang members emerged and stood in the back, just hanging around, talking, smoking, and sipping beer. Occasionally, a burst of laughter erupted from inside. My blood boiled. Were they taunting Kathy? Hurting her? My heart pounded, and I had to clench my jaw to keep from shouting, to prevent myself from racing down and storming into the building to find her. Rescue her.

I shook my head. This was no fairy tale. And it was my fault she was there in the first place. My fault that she was terrified. She would probably never want to speak to me again. Never see me again. At this moment, I would take that, as long as it meant she was okay.

I waited impatiently for everyone to get into position. The Feds had planned a blitz attack. No red and blue lights, no sirens. They would approach from different points. Black SUVs. Loaded to the teeth. The signal would be the flash bang thrown through one of the front windows. And then it would be every man for himself.

I hoped Bones wouldn’t get hurt in the melee. Sarge had assured me that he would find Kathy and get her out. The look on his face, the sincerity of his words made me feel that he would do his damned best. Someone with his experience, someone who had been through so many combat tours and life-and-death situations certainly knew how to handle himself. I knew that. For Sarge, dealing with a bunch of bikers was probably no big deal.

When glass shattered, I stood up, adrenaline attacking my system. A mere second later I heard a sharp, loud pop. Shouts of surprise and alarm. It was immediately followed by a smoke bomb. Another loud pop and smoke gushed over the roof of the diner from the front. The two guys standing in the back threw their cigarettes on the ground and raced around the building to see what was happening.

All hell broke loose. Shouting. Gunfire. Several guys manage to escape, hopped on their bikes to get away. They surged from the diner like ants from an anthill. Several managed to get past the SUVs. Others didn’t.