Risking Fate (39 page)

Chapter 27

Ty

I was so sick of reliving the same day over and over. I had myself to blame, but I was fucking sick of it all. Every single day I was forced to explain myself.
We no sooner got home and I was being asked about something that I just wanted to forget.

When Van and Miranda asked about those pictures, they may as well have hit me with a hammer. Van was being curious, but her talking about it, left it fresh in Miranda’s head again. I felt like I took one step forward and six steps back with making amends.

When I found out about Miranda, I left the pictures on the table. Conner took it upon himself to gather them up and put them in the woodstove. He didn’t tell me til we were getting ready to leave the hospital and I remembered where I’d left them.

He should have just burned them there and then, but instead he left them there for me to do.

Van followed me into the barn and I went rummaging into the stove looking for them. “Don’t you know where they are in there?”

“No, look don’t tell Miranda, but Conner put them in here.”

“What? You mean he knows?” She looked shocked.

“He’s who I called that night. He knew the plan the whole time and was kind of in on it with me. He’s the one who suggested I was drugged.”

She sighed. “Since he hasn’t beaten the shit out of you I should have guessed that. Wow, I never would think he’d want you doing anything like that.”

“Everyone is forgetting that this was always about Izzy. Conner
knew
it was the only
way
to secure her as my daughter and keep her away from that piece of shit old lady.”

“I didn’t forget.
”

I found the pictures and handed them to her. I watched her reactions as she looked at each one of them. I was about to grab them out of her hand when she started going through them a third time, but she held one up in front of my face.
“Look at this picture, Ty. Look in the background at the mirror.”

I took the picture and tried not to look at a naked Heather on top of me. In the mirror I could see someone standing there holding the
camera. “Holy shit; there was someone else in the room. This person could prove I was drugged.”

“Or that everything was staged. You don’t even know you really had sex.”

She was right and I wanted to believe that even in an incoherent state, I would never do that to my wife. I needed to find this person, but the picture was too small to tell who it could have been. All I knew was that she had blonde hair. It was little to go on, since Heather’s friends all had blonde hair. Even if I did figure out who it was, none of them would be willing to screw her over.

“This might help Miranda believe me, but I doubt we can prove anything else with it. I should have just had a drug test. I just honestly wanted to bury it, Van. I didn’t want to ever talk about it again. I should have known Heather wouldn’t stop until I was miserable.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and prove Miranda wrong. She’s crazy in love with you. What happened to the Ty who was sexy enough to get whatever he wanted? Maybe instead of dwelling on the negative, you should just try to make her want you again.”

I held my hand up in front of her face. “I know I joke around about sex to you, mostly because it drives you crazy, but I’m kinda
weirded
out right now.”

She started laughing. “You’re kidding right?”

“Not at all.”

She pushed me away from her. “You were my first. It’s not a secret. I’m sure you and Miranda have done more than I could ever even imagine, but one thing I know for a fact is that when you love, you do it with your whole heart. I’m not saying to attack your wife sexually, but maybe if you could show her that being with her sexually isn’t just about the sex, it’s about the connection you share together. There is
n’t any
other person that either of you will feel that with. Look, I’m not saying sex is the solution, but maybe you should stop crying a
bout it and try another approach
.”

“I refuse to take
sexual
advice from you.” I was being sarcastic, but she still rolled her eyes anyway.

“
You and Miranda were good friends, but your relationship is also very physical. Right now half of your relationship is missing and you’re both paying the toll.
I know she isn’t supposed to have
intercourse yet, but her holding out on you isn’t just punishing you, I’m sure it’s punishing her as well.
You know I’m right.”

I walked over to the pool table and tossed the balls around. “Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want me touching her like that. I’m just a constant reminder of the person she never wanted to be with.”

“Do you remember when Colt’s dad died and he pushed me away?”

I rolled my eyes and leaned over the table to face her. “Of course I remember. If you’ve forgotten it was when you dumped me for my cousin.”

She tossed a ball my way. “Whatever, you deserved it.”

“It all led me to Miranda, so I’m not complaining.”

“Anyway, what I wanted to say was that Colt pushed me away and I honestly thought he didn’t want anything to do with me. He sat in our kitchen and told you he didn’t care if I went home. It hurt me so much and I felt like he didn’t love me the way I loved him. I’m not saying your situation is the same. We both
know
how much Miranda loves you, but what I am saying is that I think you’re wrong. I think she does want
you to touch her. The only way to get past it without proving her wrong is to show her
how she is the only one you want to be with. Don’t tell her Ty, show her.”

I looked down at the pool table again. If Van was right and I could touch my wife without her cringing, I wanted to know. I hated that she didn’t want me that way anymore. “What if she rejects me? I
mean, it
isn’t like I haven’t tried to be physical.”

She shook her head and started walking toward me. I had no idea what the hell she was doing, so I started backing up. “Whoa! What are you doing?”

She shoved me against the wall and stood so close to me I could feel her breathing. My eyes got big and I was freaking out. Van never made me feel uncomfortable, but at that very moment, I believed she was going to kiss me. “Stop being afraid of your wife, you stupid asshole.”

Before I could sigh in relief, she smacked me hard on the chest. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“For thinking I was actually going to kiss you. Are you insane?”

She started walking away so I walked up and smacked her hard across her ass. “I thought maybe you missed how good I was at it.”

“
Um, yeah, not after kissing Colt. Do you know that sometimes he can kiss me and I have to change my underwear.”

I put my hands over my ears. “Shut up!”

She walked backwards toward the house, while she continued laughing at me. “Want to know something else?”

“If it has to do with you and sex, I’d rather not.”

“Miranda loves it when you talk to her dirty. One time she couldn’t shut up about it. You need to tease her Ty. I’m
telling you, you and Miranda are
both too sexual to cut each other off and be okay. When I lost my first baby, Colt and I didn’t touch for over a month. When we finally did, it was so hot.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “No more details. If I promise I will make an attempt with your idea will you stop talking about it? I hate picturing you naked.”

She stopped walking and cocked her head. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

I loved how worried she looked. “Don’t flatter yourself. Have you seen my wife’s tits lately? They’re fucking huge. All I can think about is having them in my mouth. I mean when I wake up, I lick my lips
and turn my head to her chest.”

“Okay, okay, enough!”

Colt opened the door as we were heading up the walkway. “Dude, get your wife away from me. She tried to seduce me in the barn and then tell me all your sexual secrets. I can’t take it anymore!”

Colt looked from Van to me and busted into laughter. “So I guess your talk went well?”

Obviously, he told her to talk to me. “Why couldn’t you just come to me man to man? Why’d you have to send her in to beat me up?”

“Because you listen to her, you fool. We just want you to work it out, before the rest of the family knows. While you were out here, I was inside talkin’ to your hardheaded wife. You both want the same damn thing.”

“She said she wants to fuck my brains out?”

Colt swung his hand in my direction. “Forget you and your jokes. We were tryin’ to help.” He pulled Van into his arms and kissed her. “You ready to head to your mothers?”

“Wait! You’re leaving?”

“Just for the night and Bella is coming of cour
se, because G
od knows she would flip if
she couldn’t be with Noah.” Van walked over and cupped my face with her hands. “Find a way back in. Waiting is overrated.”

“
You
give terrible advice. Have the couch ready at your parents.” I could go to mine if things ever got that bad. I took my tongue and licked the side of her cheek. “Eww, seriously, Ty, are you ten?”

Colt shook his head but still laughed as I walked past them and into the
house
. Conner was leaning against the refrigerator taking a drink of a beer. “When you get a minute, I need to talk to you.”

I hated blowing him off. “Can it wait until the morning?”

“I guess.” He walked back toward his bedroom and I heard the door shut.

Miranda was sitting on the couch, staring at the baby monitor. “Honey, what are you doing?”

She held up her finger. “Any second now one of them will cry.”

I sat beside her and grabbed the monitor out of her hand. “Why do you say that?”

“Because they don’t give me a break. Why can’t they be hungry at the same time? I feel like I’m going nuts here and we just started. How am I going to do this? It’s too hard.”

She was clearly freaking the fuck out, which was both comical and concerning. “Baby, breathe.”
I put my arm around her and pulled her into my arms. She let her head fall into my neck and started to cry. “I’m feel
in’
like everything is just so messed up.”

After pulling her face up to mine, I kissed her slowly on the lips. I kept my eyes closed, worried about the look she could be giving me, but she didn’t pull away. I kept us together letting my lips drag against hers as I spoke.
“Please don’t make me stop.” As I drug my bottom lip over hers, she never pulled away. I grabbed her hands and pulled her to stand up in front of me. Tears fell from her eyes and I kissed them off of her cheeks tasting their salty flavor on my lips.
I kept
both of her
hands meshed into mine as we continued a very passionate kiss. I had to be honest, just kissing her like this after the past two weeks made me weak in the knees. From being sick and not having an appetite, Miranda had
already lost so much of her baby weight, not to mention she had been all belly, so aside from her stitches and a small little pouch, she almost had her figure back. Of course, that came with a lot of pain and suffering, instead of a healthy diet and exercise. I let go of one of her hands and grabbed her by the chin, before sliding my hand up the back of her neck and into her hair.

Much to my surprise, I felt my wife’s hand sliding up my chest. When she brushed my bottom lip with her tongue I had to stop and pull away for a second. I let my head rest against hers. “Let me touch you.”

She opened her eyes and looked directly into mine.
Our lips made contact again, as  I waited for her answer. The more she kissed me the harder I gre
w. If Colt and Van
’
s plan failed,
I was going to be spending a long time in a cold shower. I could tell she was fighting herself to give me an answer. I took my lips and lightly kissed down her neck and toward her ear. My tongue stroked the back of her lobe.
“Tell me you don’t want me to stop.”

She squeezed the one hand she was still holding and accepted my next kiss, full on the lips. This time I let my tongue slip slowly into her mouth. At first she didn’t reciprocate, but as I pulled away, I felt
her sucking me back into it. Our
tongue
s
met and I could feel tingling in my
stomach and all the way down my legs, like it was my first kiss with a girl. I reached down and grabbed
the baby monitor before starting
my backwards walk toward our bedroom.

When I got her to our bed, I sat her down gently.
She looked up at me as I knelt down in front of her. Her eyes intently watched me begin to unzip her sweat jacket. Much to my surprise, her nursing bra was unhooked on one side and I let the jacket fall down below her engorged tit. “Please let me touch you.”

Miranda didn’t say a word, but she moved her head up and down and bit down on her lip. As my hand slid slowly over the skin of my wife’s breast, she began trembling. The closer I got to her nipple, the more her body shook. I was overwhelmed with guilt realizing that it was my touch making her body shake.