Rituals for Love (9781476761893) (29 page)

“And you're making assumptions.”

“What's to assume about another man's dick on your phone?” he shouted. “And you sent him a picture of yourself in a bra?”

“That's not me. It's a picture from a magazine.”

He looked at me like he was disgusted. “You know what, Jade? Don't make it worse by lying.”

“I'm not.” I lowered my voice. “I can admit that Omar is attracted to me and he likes to flirt, but I don't share his feelings.”

Cain picked up my phone and went through my messages again. “You don't discourage him.”

“I also didn't encourage him.”

“If you didn't shut him down, then you encouraged him.”

“Did you encourage the kiss between you and Riley?”

“She kissed me,” he quickly rebutted.

“That's not what I asked.”

“No, I didn't.”

“Yet somehow she got something from you that told her it was okay to kiss you. Sounds like encouragement to me.”

We stared across the table neither of us backing down from our positions.

“You know what, Jade?” His tone was calmer. “Maybe you need to finish this project with your silent partner.”

“Humph. This is exactly why I didn't want you in control of the purse strings.”

“You took the time to get a silent partner. I'm sure he'd be happy to take over and complete the project with you.”

“It would definitely free you up to spend more time with your new chef in Atlanta.”

“I didn't rush back to New York for this.”

My phone vibrated with an incoming call.

“This dude must want me to break him,” he sneered. “You should answer. He's been trying to reach you all afternoon.”

I just looked at him. The phone stopped ringing. “As much as you may want to believe something happened, it didn't. You, on the other hand, were in Atlanta kissing another woman.”

“She kissed me.”

“I told you she was touchy-feely in your kitchen, right in front of my damn face. So you get to Atlanta and decide to spend more time with her at festivals and galas.”

“You can try to make it seem as if Riley kissing me is worse than your text messages with Omar, but it's not. Another man texting
you naked pictures and you sending him a picture of what belongs to me is pretty much cheating.”

“That wasn't me in the picture. I already told you that.”

“God only knows what happened when you were together.”

“Absolutely nothing.” I reached across the table and snatched my phone. “Not even a single kiss. Can you say the same?”

“I'm not sure how we got here,” he said pensively, “but right now we need to think about where we go from here.”

“I agree,” I stood up to leave, “but know that Genesis will get completed with or without you.”

I
was slouched in a booth at Rituals talking to my brother. He was doing his best to cheer me up, but nothing was working. I had started to share a fraction of what transpired between Cain and me with him. He offered to help me with financing if I needed it. I thanked him, but told him I would figure that part out on my own.

After I left Cain's, I drove out to Jones Beach to walk along the boardwalk. I had so many emotions fighting for attention that I was sort of numb. I didn't know what was worse. Cain seeing my text messages with Omar, him spending time with and kissing Riley, or the fact that Genesis was about to fall apart before it even opened.

Never once did I think Cain would see those text messages. Had I stopped to think how they would be perceived by him, that he would never view them as harmless flirting, I wouldn't have entertained them. If I were being honest with myself, I already knew that it wasn't harmless. I guess I figured he would never see them. It was stupid. I knew it. Bria and Milan knew it. The only person that didn't feel that way was Omar. He honestly wanted more than our friendship. I couldn't give that to him. We had definitely crossed a line with the flirting and the time we had been spending together, but I was grateful that we never got physical.

I cringed at the thought that Cain was in Atlanta kissing another woman. He was adamant that she kissed him, but did it matter?
There was a kiss shared between them. How did I know that was all that transpired? It all made the missed flight and tension between us more questionable. He was obviously in Atlanta with Riley interacting on more than a business level. We had both put our relationship and our business in jeopardy with our actions.

“Terrence, I know I messed up.”

“You definitely did.”

“But he was flirting with me.”

“Do you hear yourself? Would it be okay for you if another woman was sending naked pictures to Cain and making all sorts of suggestive comments and he never shut it down?”

“You know it wouldn't be okay with me.”

“Then what else is there to say?”

“I felt like Omar was harmless.”

“Until he told you he wants to be your man. Hell, it should have been obvious when he called you his ideal.”

“I know, I know. So I was wrong?”

“Yes, you were wrong. Do you really need me to tell you this?”

“Was Cain wrong? I mean he was hanging out with Riley and neglected to tell me they were together.”

“You both were wrong. I don't know why he didn't mention it, if it slipped his mind or something, but any man knows you tell your woman
in advance
if you're spending time with another woman. If the festival was work related, that's one thing. But you already said they were just hanging out.”

“He said
she
kissed him.”

“That's possible. What did he do?”

“I don't know. We never got that far into the details.”

“I think you need to know what happened to figure out if it's something you need to be concerned about.”

“Ugh. My stomach has been doing somersaults since yesterday.”

“You'll be all right, sis.”

“Can this even be fixed?” I whined.

“If you two love each other, almost anything can be fixed.”

I appreciated that I could talk to my brother to get his opinion. We were close enough in age that we could have frank discussions. We were also close enough that we were really good friends, not just siblings. There were many times over the years that we sought advice from one another. I trusted his opinion immeasurably. “I don't know how to fix this, Terrence.”

“You can't fix it alone. It will take both of you together trying to repair it.”

“Where do we start?”

“You need to put the emotions to the side and start with the facts. What happened, why it happened, and how to prevent it from happening again. You both need to own your roles in what occurred and apologize for that. Sometimes when you don't acknowledge the how and the why, you can't find a resolution.”

“That's true. We both sort of blamed what happened on Omar and Riley and then pointed fingers at each other.”

“Exactly. If you and Cain can forgive each other for your missteps, then you're already on your way to fixing the problem.”

I knew Terrence was right. Cain and I needed to talk. I heard every word my brother said, but, sometimes pride could get in the way. I wanted to reach out to Cain, but I needed to get to the place where I could put my emotions aside. I wasn't quite there yet. It seemed as if multiple issues sprang up at once. How to handle each one was the challenge. They were all separate issues within a larger problem. I was scared—scared that Cain wouldn't be able to forgive me. Another man was sending me naked pictures. He thought
I sent my picture to another man. Regardless of whether I was kidding with Omar or not, it was inappropriate.

I tried to think if I would be understanding if the shoe were on the other foot. I honestly couldn't say. If Cain really read the messages, he may have noticed that I wasn't really encouraging Omar. However, he was right that I didn't do what I was supposed to do to discourage him. I didn't even want to think about the check. I had to face it. I fucked up. Terribly. If he never trusted me again, I couldn't blame him. It was tough to point fingers at him when I started to think about where I went wrong. I wasn't excusing his behavior with Riley, but I needed to focus on me and how I let things spin out of control on my end. Cain deserved more. Hell, Omar deserved more. He poured his heart out to me at lunch and if I was a real friend, I would have provided him with the harsh reality and told him there was no chance that we would ever be together. I was even sorry I dragged him into the fray with Genesis.

No, I wasn't ready to talk to Cain yet. I had to figure out how I got myself in this predicament and how to make sure I never put myself in a situation like this ever again.

P
op was doing his usual goading that my golf game was severely lacking. I hit the ball and it landed in the sand trap. He looked at me out the corner of his eye and straightened his cap on his head. He was holding his tongue, probably seeing the frustration on my face. I started to walk toward the bunker, and he put a hand on my shoulder. “Why don't we take a break for lunch?”

It was the best idea I heard all day. My head wasn't in the game. We got in the golf cart and Pop drove us to the club restaurant. He looked over at me multiple times, but didn't say a word. As soon as we were seated at a table outside, he asked what was going on. I filled him in on the details of what happened between Jade and me. “Pop, I don't know what's worse. The fact that she was carrying on with this man or the fact that she was carrying on with him and planning to bring him on board as a silent partner.”

“You said he was sending her naked pictures?”

“Come on, Pop. Is that all you heard?”

“I heard everything. I'm just making sure I have the story correct.”

I leaned back in my seat and fiddled with my golf cap, moving it back and forth on my head. “Yes, he sent pictures.”

“My girl Jade didn't send any, did she?”

“No.” I wasn't going to tell my father about the bra picture whether it was her or not. It didn't seem right to tell him that knowing how fond he was of her.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I honestly don't know, Pop. When I read the messages again, she wasn't really the one flirting. My problem is with the fact that she would even entertain another man. There's no way she didn't know how this dude felt about her. Why would she put herself in that position? I can't understand why she was even considering him as a partner when I told her numerous times we didn't need any outside capital.”

“Listen, son. You're trying to understand an awful lot and there's one simple answer. None of this would have happened if it weren't for you.”

“This is my fault?” My voice raised an octave.

“You're damn right. You have a woman you love and you're taking it slow. You decided somewhere along the way that it was okay to just be boyfriend and girlfriend. You're a grown man and that's a grown woman. She's not meant to be someone's girlfriend. You've basically given her the green light to live as a single woman.”

“How do you figure that, Pop?”

“Because she's not your wife.”

“That doesn't mean I'm telling her it's okay to behave like she's single.”

“So, you just want this man to take your woman?”

I stared past my father and shook my head. “No.”

“You have to know that no other man is going to respect your relationship if he sees something he wants. Jade is fine. Smart. A good woman inside and out. If you know this, what makes you think other men don't know it, too? Why wouldn't another man try to take her from you?”

“That's true, but she shouldn't entertain that,” I said, motioning with my hands.

“We're all human. Not one of us is perfect. You're sitting here getting agitated because your woman was texting with the next man. That agitation should tell you something. You don't want anyone else to have your woman. There's only one way to make your intentions clear. If you didn't want there to be any question about who she belongs to, then you should have made her your wife. Instead of letting her be out there unclaimed.”

“She's not unclaimed.”

“Does she have your last name?”

“You know she doesn't.”

“Then right now she belongs to her father. She's a single woman.”

I grunted out of frustration. Pop knew how to get preachy. “I hear you.”

“Do you know this guy?”

“Yeah, I know who he is.”

“What about him?”

“What do you mean what about him, Pop?”

“What does he have going for himself?”

“I thought he was a good dude before this mess. They were friends, so I didn't question it.”

“You might not want to hear this, but just because he wants your lady doesn't mean he's not a good dude. It means you need to handle your business.”

“You might be right. For his sake, I hope I don't see him anytime soon.”

“I don't want you out in those streets acting like a hooligan.”

I laughed. “What's with you thinking I'm ‘out in the streets' every time I talk to you?”

“You know what I mean.”

I loved my pops. I could always count on him to talk me down
from the ledge. I hoped he knew how much I appreciated his counsel. It was humbling to share this with him. I had a hard time discussing that Jade was getting pictures of another man's penis. He took it all in stride. I guess he was more in tune with what goes on in the world today than I thought. “I won't do anything stupid,” I said.

“What about this situation with your chef in Atlanta? Do you have feelings for her?”