Authors: RaeAnne Thayne
Yes, she knew he was being crude on purpose to shock her back to her senses but now her own imagination caught hold and everything inside her ached with yearning. She closed her eyes, wondering how she was possibly going to get those images out of
her
head now.
“Good to know we're on the same page,” she finally murmured.
He stared at her. After a long, tense moment, he swallowed with effort and jerked his gaze out the window, where rain continued to trickle down the glass.
“You said your dad believed I was a good man,” he said, his voice low. “Someone with honor. I'm having a tough time agreeing with him right now.”
“Because you're attracted to me, that makes you without honor?” she whispered.
“If I act on thisâif I went inside with you right now and turned my completely inappropriate fantasies into realityâI would be betraying everything I have fought to overcome since I was a stupid kid caught stealing beer at the Gas N Go. I won't do it, Wyn. No matter how badly I might want you.”
She let out a shaky breath as the dark conviction in his voice seeped through her jumbled emotions.
“You work for me,” he went on. “Don't you see the impossible position I'm in? My job is everything to me and I can't risk itâI
won't
risk itâfor something that would just scratch a momentary itch.”
She had been about to tell him about her own trip to Boise this weekend, the choices she was considering but his last words made her see how fruitless that would be.
This wasn't about his position as police chief. He didn't share her feelings. He wouldn't
let
himself share her feelings. She folded her hands together at her stomach, wishing she could hold back the icy fingers of reality that were beginning to spread there.
She loved him and he would never love her in return. How pathetic could she be?
“Where do we go from here, then?” she murmured.
“Nowhere,” he said firmly. “As far as I'm concerned, tonight never happened. Neither did anything else between us this past week. I'm going to go home and get some much-needed sleep and in the morning I'll have my head screwed on straight again and be able to focus on what's importantâprotecting the people of Haven Point.”
Well, that firmly let her know her place in his world. As long as she wore the uniform, she mattered to him and he refused to let himself have any interest in getting her out of it.
“Fair enough,” she said, hoping her voice didn't wobble on the words. “Come on, Pete. Let's go.”
She opened her own door and grabbed the bag of leftovers her mother had sent home with her, then climbed out to open the door for Pete.
She heard Cade swear behind her then a moment later he joined her, umbrella opened to keep her dry on the short walk to her front door. That's right. She was a citizen of Haven Point, one of those he had sworn to serve and protect. Right now that particular citizen wanted to shove that umbrella right back in his face.
At the door, he grabbed the leftovers from her while she worked the key in the lock.
Pete immediately pushed his way inside, headed for his food and water. She thought Cade would rush to get away from her. Instead, to her surprise, he followed her into the house and turned on the lights of her small entry for her.
He hadn't bothered with the umbrella himself, she realized, and his hair was slightly damp and curling at the ends. It made him look oddly vulnerable.
“Wyn, I'm not the man you think I am,” he said, his voice grave.
“Oh, you have no possible idea what kind of man I'm thinking you are right now,” she retorted.
His mouth lifted into a sudden smile she was quite sure surprised both of them but it faded as quickly as it appeared.
“I don't want you thinking this is...any more than a physical attraction. I'm not the sort of man you should lose your heart to.”
The organ in question gave a sharp, hard twinge, as if to reinforce that his warning came too late.
“You might be the chief of police for the department where I work, but that doesn't make you boss over my heart,” she answered softly.
His gaze sharpened as if he was wondering whether her heart was already involved. For an instant, she thought she saw a fierce joy flash there but it quickly gave way to something that almost looked like despair.
“Don't,” he said roughly. “If you knew the truth, you would hate me.”
“The truth about what?”
He looked as if he regretted saying anything. Lines of exhaustion had appeared around his mouth and his features were taut with fatigue. He'd already been through an emotional day after a difficult week. She might have been sorry for him, if she had any room left for compassion in her poor battered heart.
“Forget it,” he said. “Just forget everything. I'll see you in the morning.”
He turned and walked back through the rain without bothering to use the umbrella.
She didn't close the door behind him until she saw his taillights turn into his own driveway down the street.
Forget everything
, he said.
How could she? Her entire world had just been upended and she felt as if everything stable and comfortable had been shaken to the core. She was in love with Cade Emmett, the stubborn, impossible, wonderful chief of police.
What was she supposed to do now?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I
THOUGHT
YOU
weren't going to be able to make it today!” McKenzie exclaimed when Wyn walked into her store room at Point Made Flowers and Gifts in her uniform a little over a week after she'd returned to work.
“I was able to rearrange my lunch hour but I can't stay long. Looks like you've called out the troops.”
Indeed, it looked as if the entire Haven Point Helping Hands had turned out for the emergency meeting called by McKenzieâwith the exception of Katrina and Samantha Fremont, who had gone climbing in Jackson with Carter the wonder-boyfriend.
For once, she wasn't sorry her sister was absent. Kat had tried to pin her down repeatedly about that scene she had stumbled onto at Marsh's party. Each time, Wyn had to tap-dance around the interrogations like she had the evasive skills of a hardened criminal. She wasn't fooling her sister. Katrina was certain something was going on between her and Cadeâshe just hadn't figured out what yet.
“Hi, Wyn.” Andrea Montgomery smiled at her and Wyn grabbed the last empty seat at the table, next to her.
She was happy to see Andie looking so much more relaxed and comfortable than she had when Wyn first met her just a few short weeks ago. It was great to see her here. Apparently the meeting she had attended the week before hadn't scared her off.
“What's the big emergency?” Wyn asked.
“Desperate times, my friend,” McKenzie answered. “This is our last chance before the fair this weekend and I'm just not sure we have enough inventory. The library is still trying to replace the books they lost because of the little plumbing disaster in the children's section. We've allocated emergency funds to replace them but Julia Winston says it's not quite enough. I'm hoping we can help make up the difference. I figured one more batch of our special Christmas on the Lake ornaments wouldn't hurt.”
“You do know Aidan will help with whatever the library needs, right?” Eliza said.
McKenzie looked grateful. “Ben would too. Trust me, it's nice to know we have a couple of fat-cat donors waiting in the wings.”
“And I'm sure they appreciate you calling them that,” Wyn said drily.
Kenz grinned. “You know what I mean. We could have them donate but I want the community to feel invested. People care more for something when they have a stake in it. If we can take care of the children's collection at the library without having to call on Ben or Aidan to help, then we can hit them up when we have an urgent need somewhere else.”
That was McKenzie. Always thinking. She loved Haven Point almost as much as Cade did.
Wynona gave an inward grimace. She had tried so hard to push the man out of her head this last week. Obviously, she wasn't doing a very good job. He tended to show up there at the oddest moments.
Resolutely, she pushed him out again and plopped into an open seat next to Eppie Brewer and across from Andie and Eliza.
“I'm sorry I missed your self-defense class yesterday,” Eppie said. “I had Ronald drive me to the eye specialist in Boise.”
Poor Ronald Brewer, who had become the de facto escort and chauffeur for his wife and her sister since his twin brother died a few years back.
“Is everything okay?” Wyn asked.
The other woman made a face. “Stupid cataracts. The only good thing about having them is that when they operate, I can lose the glasses. I'll just need bifocals for close work like this. Did we learn any hot new moves in class?”
“We mostly practiced what I've already taught.”
Devin's yoga class had really enjoyed the self-defense lessons she taught during her suspensionâwhich seemed a lifetime agoâand they had asked her back to teach more on a regular basis.
“We've been practicing,” Hazel said.
“That's right,” Eppie said. “I can't wait for some bad guy to come out of the bushes at me. He'll be sorry he messed with this old broad.”
Wynnie grinned, picturing Eppie on the sidewalk in fighting stance yelling, “Come at me, bro” while Hazel cheered her on from the sidelines.
Oh, she would miss them all so much. Hazel, Eppie, Aunt Jenny and the rest.
The familiar mix of emotions of the last few weeks jumbled around inside her againâtrepidation, sadness, anticipation, fear.
She still wasn't certain she was making the right choices but at least she no longer felt frozen, suspended in limbo.
Life couldn't stay the same. It was like the Hell's Fury, always changing a little from year to year. She had to shift her own course to change with it. The alternative was unbearable.
The transition would be tough. Just thinking about leaving Haven Point and all her friends made her heart ache, but she couldn't let that hold her back. She didn't want to leave but she knew staying was impossible, especially now.
“Did you still plan to start the self-defense classes that are open to everyone?” Andie asked from across the table.
The question seemed casual but she sensed an intensity in her friend's eyes. Though she had been by several times to visit with Andie and the children, she purposely hadn't pushed the other woman to tell her what had
really
brought her to Haven Point.
“You know, I haven't given it more thought, to be truthful. You're more than welcome to come to Devin's yoga class. We work on self-defense for the last forty-five minutes, from about nine forty-five to ten thirty on Wednesdays at the community center.”
“The restaurant has been busy so I haven't had time to get to your class. What kind of things do you work on?” Barbara Serrano asked.
“Only a few moves that might help you get out of sticky situations. Nothing too elaborate.”
“You ought to teach all of us some of those moves,” Linda Fremont said. “Do you know someone is sexually assaulted every one hundred seven seconds in this country?”
“I did. Yes.”
She had firsthand knowledge of that particular grim statistic, not something she shared with anyone or even thought about much anymore. It had happened. She couldn't change the past but it no longer consumed her as it had once. The course of her life had changed so much, sometimes she thought that day had happened to someone else. She no longer seemed like the same heedless college coed who had been date-raped.
Andie, she noticed, was looking down at her hands and her features seemed to have paled a shade. She frowned, wondering if that was the source of the fear and uncertainty she had sensed in Andrea when she moved to Haven Point. Had she been attacked?
“Every woman should learn a few basic self-defense moves,” Wyn said. “They're not always practical to use, but sometimes it can make all the difference. I'm happy to teach a class or two outside the yoga class. Maybe we can reserve the big meeting room at the community center one evening.”
“That's a great idea,” McKenzie said. “I can check into it.”
“You've got enough on your plate, with the wedding and all,” Eliza said. “Why don't you let Wyn and me organize it?”
She wanted to tell Eliza they would have to schedule it before the second week of August, when she would be moving to Boise, but now wasn't the time for that grand announcement. She hadn't even told her family yet and didn't intend to until some of her plans were a little less nebulous.
“Sounds good to me. Just let me know when to be there.”
“Definitely. We'll spread the word to everyone who might be interested,” Eliza said.
The conversation shifted, as these things did, to children and grandchildren and vacation plans.
“How are the wedding plans, anyway?” Barbara Serrano asked McKenzie a few moments later.
“Fine, I suppose. I'm not panicking yet. I have to get through Lake Haven Days and the wooden-boat festival first and
then
I'll start stressing about the last-minute wedding details.”
“You know we're all here to help,” Wynona said.
“I do. And I'll probably use every one of you.”
She would be leaving for Boise just a few weeks after McKenzie's wedding. Maybe by then, she wouldn't be so conflicted about the idea.
“That was a heavy sigh,” Andie said in a low voice. “Is everything okay?”
The concern in the other woman's voice touched her. She had been right about Andie. She was a sweet, compassionate woman with a kind heart. Wyn didn't want to lie to her but she couldn't confide in Andie without telling
everyone
and she wasn't ready for that yet.
“Fine. Just fine,” she said with a forced smile. “How are things with you?”
“We're starting to settle in. It's only been a few weeks but so far I'm very happy with our decision to move here. Everyone has been so kind to include us in things and help us feel part of the community.”
“Haven Point is a nice place. I told you so.”
Andie smiled, though the light of it didn't quite push away those lingering shadows in her gaze.
“Where are my favorite adorable little urchins?” Wyn asked.
“They were hanging out here with Jazmyn and Ty Barrett for a while, then they all got bored and begged to go to the park down the street. Letty Robles agreed to take them.”
“The woman is a superhero,” Devin said. “Talk about saving the day.”
Letty Robles was housekeeper to Cole Barrett, Devin's fiancé, who was a single father of two very cute kids in their own right, Jazmyn and Ty.
“I'm sorry I won't have the chance to say hello to any of my favorite children,” Wyn said with real regret. “I'm due back at the station in about twenty minutes.”
“Then let's see how many ornaments we can finish before then,” McKenzie the bossy taskmaster ordered.
She would miss all of them, even McKenzie and her whip-cracking.
A river couldn't stay the same, year after year, and her life couldn't either.
* * *
W
YN
CHECKED
HER
watch as she parked her patrol vehicle and headed into the police-department offices, in back of the large, graceful city hall with its historic clock tower.
At certain moments when she pushed open the door to the office, she felt as if she had traveled back in time.
When she was a girl, she loved to ride her bike to the library next door on summer afternoons, then stop to see her father after she had checked out her books. If things were slow at the Haven Point PD, she would sit on his guest chair and chatter to him for an hour or moreâabout the books she had found in the stacks, about her current annoyance with Wyatt, about any trouble she might be having with friends, about her favorite television show.
He had been such a good father, always acting as if he cared, never letting on he might be bored with a discussion about her crush on one of the members of a certain boy band.
John would have been proud of her, working here in the police department he had given so much of his life toâand ultimately given his life
for
.
She hadn't come to work here until after his brain injury, when she felt as if her job in Boise was just too far away for her to be a help to her mother. She wasn't sure just how much her father understood after his injury. He hadn't been able to talk, though she was almost certain he smiled when she would talk to him about working here.
What would he have thought about her recent decision to leave and start a new chapter of her life?
A few weeks earlier, she might have worried Charlene would feel abandoned by her departure. She supposed that wasn't as much of a concern now, with Uncle Mike in the picture.
Mike.
Her mother and Mike Bailey were indeed dating. Twice the week after Marsh's party, she had stopped by the house and found him there both times. Finally Sunday, Charlene had gathered her, Marsh and Katrina together to announce it rather defiantly. She had then burst into tears and run out, leaving Mike to face them all amid enough awkwardness to fill Lake Haven several times over.
Wyn still didn't know how she felt about it. The concept still seemed so strange to her but Cade's words returned to haunt her several times over the last few days.
He was right. Her mother had cared selflessly for her father for more than two years, putting her own life on hold to make sure John felt as happy and safe as he could with his diminished mental capacity.
She loved her mother and she had always adored her kind uncle Mike. If they had a chance for happiness together, Wyn didn't have the right to begrudge them that.
That didn't mean she was ready to throw a party for them yet but she was working on it.
On her own time, she reminded herself. Right now she needed to focus on work.
She headed into the station and any lingering angst about her mother and uncle flew right out of her head when she found Cade leaning a hip against her desk, his arms crossed.
Her heart rate kicked up and nerves danced through her. He was every inch the tough, dangerous lawmanâbut that didn't stop her from remembering just how sweet and tender his mouth could be on hers.
“There you are.”
She blinked at the hard edge to his voice.
“I radioed in that I was taking lunch.”
“You did. More than an hour ago.”
“An hour and
five minutes
ago,” she pointed out. And ten minutes of that time had been spent giving a warning to the out-of-state driver of a big RV that had been parked in front of a fire hydrant, despite the red-painted lines.
Okay, she was late. Until the last few weeks, Cade had always been the best kind of boss but since she'd been back from her suspension, their interactions had been stiff, awkward, tense affairs.
Even after she had been able to make an arrest in the vandalism case that had taken up entirely too much of the department's time, his reaction had been muted. Forget that she had worked her tail off and finally ended up searching through the garbage can of Jimmy Welch's
mother's
house, where she found empty spray-paint cans that matched the color used in the graffitiâwith Jimmy's fingerprints on them.