Road to Reason (4 page)

“Sure,” he replied good-naturedly.

She took a deep breath, pausing while she looked at him, a bit of nervousness evident behind her eyes. “Could you stay the night with me?”

A quick surge of heat rushed through his body, but he pushed it back. “The power should be back on soon. I’ll stay until then. If it doesn’t I could stay the night if you want.” He looked around the living room and noticed a few doors down a hall, assuming she had another bedroom. “I could stay on the couch if you don’t have another bed.”

She pursed her lips. “I meant even if the power comes back on.”

He looked at her for a moment and wished she wasn’t a family friend while he nudged the thoughts out of his mind that came with her loaded question.

Then he noted the flush on her face. She must still be afraid, he thought. He would focus on that. It was the least he could do.

As much of a playboy as he was, he was raised right; he would help a friend in need. Even if that friend was extremely sexy and clueless as to what she was asking of him. “Not a problem. The couch looks big enough.”

She grunted. “You don’t have to stay on the couch,” she offered with a grin and a flutter of her eyes. 

What was wrong with her? Her words weren’t in sync with the look on her face.  She looked scared to death through her smile. And why was she blinking so rapidly? “Oh, you’ve got a guest room. Good, I’m sure the bed will be more comfortable than the couch,” he added politely.

She huffed out a breath, picking at imaginary lint on her leg. “Ah, I mean in my room.”

A punch went straight to his gut, more so when he saw the blush start to creep up her face.  She was killing him right now.  “You don’t have to give your bed up for me. The couch is fine.”  He hoped his voice didn’t sound as strained as it felt.

She groaned, then said with conviction, “No. I mean share my bed with me. I’m asking if you would stay with me tonight. In my bed. With me. Together.”

He was speechless.  And for some reason her face was a deep shade of scarlet. If she were anyone else, he would have picked her up and carried her right to her room the first time she asked him to stay the night. 

He would love nothing more than to do that now. But he couldn’t.  It would be too awkward later on.  He didn’t picture her as a one-night-stand type of girl.  Even now he could see she was completely embarrassed.

“Ah, I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” he said, hedging. What was he supposed to say? That he would love nothing more than to spend the night in her bed making love to her all night long and into the morning? That he couldn’t wait to peel her out of her suit and get his hands on the luscious curves underneath?

“Why not?” She narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

She wasn’t going to make it easy for him. He saw the change come over her features. He insulted her, and he hadn’t meant to. The least he could do was fix that. “It’s not you.  If you were anyone else I wouldn’t hesitate. Believe me when I say that,” he said earnestly.

“What does that mean?” she asked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

Did she not understand the rules? You just didn’t sleep with a friend’s sister because you were attracted to her. 

At least he didn’t. Even if she was the one who was coming on to him.  “It means that it would be awkward afterward. Our parents are friends. I’m friends with your brothers.” He tried to joke with her, lighten the mood.  “I value my life too much if they were to find out.”

“They don’t need to know. I won’t tell them. You won’t, will you?” she asked, urgently.

“There won’t be anything to tell them, because it’s not going to happen,” he stated firmly.

She got up and walked over to sit next to him on the couch. He scooted back a few inches, making her to frown.  “I thought you didn’t care who you slept with?” she asked.

“Where did you hear that?” He tried not to be offended, but he couldn’t help it. He was appalled, and she obviously noticed it.

She buried her face in her hands, grumbled, then took a few deep breaths and looked him in the eye. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Just forget about it. Forget I asked.  It was a joke. Ha-ha, you can laugh now.” She plastered a fake smile on her face.             

He had no idea what had come over her.  Her moods were all over the place.  Not to mention her suggestion coming out of left field. 

Yes, he was attracted, and he knew she was. But he had no intention of acting on it and was frankly blown away she was making the move on him.

Not only that, but she was so awkward with it. It was sort of funny, not that he would actually laugh at her, but the whole conversation lacked any type of sophistication.  It all came across as juvenile, in fact.  Even down to her embarrassment and now the tears she was fighting back through a ridiculous smile.

“Look,” he said with a sigh, hoping he could fix the situation, because he really did like her.  “I’m attracted to you. I would be crazy not to be. You’re gorgeous. But I just don’t think it’s a good idea.  Even if we didn’t have a family connection, you just seem really uncomfortable right now.”

That caused her to groan again. “Oh my God, I’m never going to get it right.  Five years and I’m still that same awkward girl. Everything I’ve been taught has gone to waste.” She threw her head back on the couch and closed her eyes. “You can go now and leave me to my humiliation in peace. I don’t even have alcohol to blame this time.”

“Excuse me?” He was thoroughly confused and felt he needed to get to the bottom of it. “What do you mean ‘this time’? You’ve asked guys to stay the night with you before and they’ve said no?” He really couldn’t fathom that.

“Of course not,” she replied indignantly. “You’re the first. What do you take me for, some kind of hussy?”

He choked on that. Who used the word hussy?  “I’m not sure what to make of any of this.  Why don’t you explain to me why you asked, then, if you haven’t before? I mean I know I’m pretty irresistible, but still,” he said, hoping to make her smile. She looked so vulnerable sitting there, absolutely clueless to the internal fight he had going on.

She only snorted at him and then smiled. “Well, you are pretty cute.  But never mind. Let’s just chalk this up to my bad judgment again.  There will be someone else,” she mumbled to herself.

He heard her. “Someone else what? That you’re going to make that offer to? Why do you even need to? I’m sure you could have any guy you want. Why do you need to approach someone and ask him to spend the night? I mean we all have urges, but don’t you have a toy or something for that?”

“A toy? What do you mean?” she asked, a bewildered look crossing her face.

His head was spinning. How could she not know what he was talking about? “A vibrator. You know, those things girls use when there isn’t a man around,” he offered helpfully.

Her face was now crimson. “I don’t have one of them. I wouldn’t even know what to do with it,” she blurted out.

He shook his head, even more puzzled.  “OK. Let’s start over.  Tell me why you wanted me to spend the night. And the truth this time,” he stated firmly, just like he would to a witness on stand in the courtroom.

She looked into his eyes, holding his stare.  “I thought you were the solution to my problem.”

Huh? Now what was she talking about? “What problem is that?”

She rolled her eyes, sat back and explained. “I’m twenty-eight years old and want to settle down and have family a someday.”

“What! You wanted me to get you pregnant?” he asked outraged.  This conversation was taking on a whole different dimension and all his sexual frustrations disappeared with that statement.

“No!” she hurriedly said. “I meant someday.  Someday I want to meet a man and get married and have a family.  Not now. Not you,” she ended with an appalled look on her face now.

There he was, getting insulted with the way she said “Not you.”
“Then explain it, because I’m even more stumped. Surely you’ve been in relationships.  You just haven’t found the right guy, but he’s out there. As successful and as gorgeous as you are, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding a guy,” he offered helpfully.

It was the wrong thing to say, he saw it the minute it was out of his mouth. Only he didn’t know why it was wrong.

“That’s the problem.  I haven’t had any relationships. Or nothing serious. They never have a chance to get serious.”

“Why, do men think you have some kind of plague?” he said, attempting to joke. He really wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew he wouldn’t have a problem being in a relationship with her.

Now where did that come from? He never got seriously involved with anyone, on purpose. Well, a relationship didn’t mean it was serious or long term, he told himself.

“Pretty much,” she said simply.

“What?” he asked, trying to get a grasp on what she was saying now.

“Once any guy I’ve gone out with a few times finds out about me, they pretty much think I’ve got the plague and run in the other direction.”

“I’m sorry. I really hate to say I’m confused again. But I am. You just don’t seem to be making sense.” He wanted to laugh at the whole situation. Laughing would be the only thing that would help the growing arousal again at the topic they were discussing. 

“What about you could be so bad?” He couldn’t imagine anything about her that could be bad.  Up until the last twenty minutes of their conversation, tonight had been one of the most enjoyable nights he’d had in a long time.  Even without sex. She was just so easy to talk to and so fun to be around.  She was definitely a treat to look at.

“I’m a virgin.”

He sat there speechless again.  That hadn’t been what he expected her to say. How could anyone that looked like her still be a virgin? And he made the mistake of saying as much to her.

She got angry. Standing up, she stomped to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and a single glass.

“That’s exactly why,” she said, pouring wine in the glass, then taking a big gulp. “What you just said. Every single time I go on a few dates with a guy and things start to get a little heated I tell them I’m a virgin. Stupid, I know, but I figured they would find out and I didn’t want to spring it on them
that
way. So I tell them beforehand and it’s like cold water being dumped on them. Then they’re out the door like their pants are on fire.” She downed the rest of the glass and refilled it.

Ryan reached up, took the glass out of her hands and drank half of it himself, then handed it back. “Sit down.  Let’s talk.” He hated that he made her feel bad. Because looking back, he realized that though she didn’t handle any of this well, he hadn’t made matters any better.

“There’s nothing to talk about.  Now you know. And now I’m embarrassed. So every time we see each other my face will turn red and I’ll walk out of the room. Nothing new there. I’m used to being on the outside looking in,” she said solemnly.

Some of the conversation started to filter back through his brain. “What did you mean about ‘five years of training’? Talk to me. As a friend,” he added.  He really wanted to make this right. Not that he was going to solve her problem, but maybe he could help in another way.

“You don’t want to hear the sad story of my life.  Just leave me to my wine. Forget this night ever happened. Maybe with enough wine I’ll forget, too.”

He took the bottle and glass out of her hand and walked them back to the kitchen and came out with two bottles of water. “I really want to know.  Maybe I can help,” he offered. She didn’t have to know he had no intention of helping her the way she wanted.

“Not much to tell. You remember what I was like as a kid. You even said so yourself on how different I look.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t explain what is going on right now. You don’t look the same, but that had to have changed long before tonight.”

“It did. My freshman year of college. You know I went to an all-girls school for years, so it’s not like there were any opportunities to date back then. Plus having three older brothers didn’t help. I think they purposely scared anyone away,” she said, her lips twitching a bit.

“I would probably be the same way if I had a younger sister.”

“Not what I want to hear.” She scowled at him.  “Anyway, by the time I was at Harvard I was so focused on school and grades that I didn’t really think much of dating back then. It wasn’t until I moved to Manhattan that I realized it was time to move on to the next goal in my life.”

“You set a goal on when to date?” he asked, smiling a little, finding humor in that.

“Not really. Not like that.” She shrugged carelessly. “I just wasn’t looking for it in college.  And then all of a sudden I was. But by then I was still this awkward-looking girl.  My body was the same as now—I had slimmed down and toned up—but I dressed different. I was still preppy and nerdy, you could say,” she added with a grimace.

“What changed there?”

“My neighbor at the time, Sophia. She’s my best friend now. She took one look at me and laughed.  Really laughed. But then she was nice about it and helped reform me.  She is everything I wish I were—her personality, and her confidence. She knows what she wants and she gets it.  And she helped me do the same. Sort of.”