Road to Recovery (23 page)

He stopped to stare at her, his face
twisted with anguish. “You know, I can compete with another person.
I can’t compete with a ghost. I can’t win against a ghost,” he said
sadly.

Confusion showed on her face. “What are
you talking about?”

“
You really don’t get it.
You don’t see it at all. I know we’re moving fast. But if you
opened your eyes and looked, you would see. You would see I’m
falling for you, hard. It would have been nice to know that I had
to fight ghosts in your past, too.”

He added bitterly, “Telling me things
are ‘complicated’ is a joke compared to what you
confessed.”

With her shoulders slumped in defeat,
she sat back down on the couch. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Tell me
what to do to make this right.”

His heart broke watching her struggle,
she looked so helpless. He saw the tears start to form in her eyes
and her effort to hold them back. He didn’t want to soften, but he
couldn’t help walking over and sitting next to her. She looked
crushed. So clueless to what she said tonight and why she didn’t
think it was important.

Reaching over, he pulled her into his
arms and held her. “Don’t lie to me. I’m not saying everything is
fine, because it’s not. But it’s over for now.”

***

She understood what he was saying. But
she couldn’t tell him everything. She couldn’t reassure him he
wasn’t fighting a ghost. It wasn’t something she wanted to relive,
something she wanted anyone else to know. No one needed to know how
stupid she was. She didn’t want to remember herself. No one else
needed to know what happened the night of the accident.

Deathly afraid she ruined everything,
she could only hold on to the hope that he could forgive
her.

She took a deep breath, shuddered, and
held her tears back, trying to regain control of her emotions. He
continued to hold her, rubbing a hand up and down her back. She
whispered, “Don’t give up on me.”

***

Lying in bed that night with his hands
stacked behind his head, staring out the window in front of him at
the star-filled sky, Lucas couldn’t help but think about Brooke’s
confession tonight. He was hurt. There was no way around it. He
hurt for her, and for what she went through. But he hurt for
himself, too.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask
her if she still loved Robbie. But he couldn’t bring himself to do
it. Deep down he didn’t want to know the answer. He was afraid she
would say yes.

He thought it was obvious by the way
she’d been the last few days. She was probably battling those
demons she talked about in the past. Looking at her past life with
one guy who was gone—and comparing it to her life with him at the
present. How could he compete?

When she told him she had gotten out of
a relationship, he assumed something went wrong, as it can between
two people. He hoped this Robbie had been a jerk, that she broke
things off with him, and that she wasn’t still longing for a life
with him, nursing a broken heart.

Wishful thinking on his part, because
knowing that Robbie died when they’d still been together, how did
you resolve those feelings? When the last thing you felt for
someone before they died was love?

Lucas was a man who always
won in the end. He always had to win. He did what he needed to do
to win.
But how do I win something I can’t
fight? I can’t fight someone else’s memories. I can’t fight someone
else’s demons either.

He’d almost slipped and told her he
loved her. It took everything he had to keep it within himself. It
wasn’t the right time. And he was sure it would have made matters
worse.

She asked him to not give up on her. He
was holding on to that. It was all he had at the moment to pacify
him. It gave him hope that maybe, just maybe she really did love
him back, whether she knew it or not.

He realized he had been lying there for
over thirty minutes. He couldn’t settle down, couldn’t relax. And
then it dawned on him, he hadn’t told her good night.

Once she had calmed down earlier, and
he’d gotten himself under control, he gave her a quick kiss, and
said, “It’s probably best if I leave now. Give us both some time to
process things.” She almost seemed relieved when he said it and he
tried not to be hurt even more by that.

She was probably asleep. But he still
had to do it. His parents never went to bed angry at each other.
“Always go to bed with a kiss and an ‘I love you.’ It will make for
a better night’s sleep, regardless of how angry or hurt you both
might be,” his mother once told him.

With his mind made up, he
picked up his phone and typed a fast,
Good
night, baby
, and hit send before he changed
his mind. When the text was returned within seconds saying the same
exact thing, he smiled, turned over and closed his eyes.

“
I wonder if that’s Mac?”
Brooke asked when a car door shut.

Lucas watched Brooke jump up. The same
exact way she had three times prior in the last thirty minutes. He
thought it was cute to see her so excited and happy over Mac’s
visit. He only wished he didn’t feel envious at the same time.
Envious that he couldn’t seem to put that excited happy look in her
eyes.

Watching Brooke walk to the window and
peek out, he couldn’t help but think she almost resembled a child
longing for Santa’s visit. When she rushed to the door, he rose
himself to make his way towards her.

By the time he made it to the foyer, he
was shocked to see Mac lifting Brooke off the ground in a hug
similar to the one she received from Ryan. The one she fought so
hard not to stiffen through.

He knew she wasn’t used to a family
that expressed their emotions often, and he found it amusing to
watch her get a handle on his own family.

But seeing her with Mac made him start
to wonder about her family life. Until he remembered that Mac was
the opposite of her. Where she shrank back from expressing herself,
Mac embraced life and how he felt, letting everyone
know.

The second shock came from the sheer
size of Mac. He looked to be similar in height to himself, but that
was where the comparison ended. Where he was lean, Mac was all
muscle, broad of shoulder, and thick of thigh. He looked more like
a football player than a pediatrician.

The facial similarities in the siblings
were uncanny. They both shared the same sharp cheekbones, dark
brown hair and whiskey-colored eyes. Lucas wouldn’t go as far as to
say that Mac was a female version of Brooke, but it was
close.

Mac noticed Lucas standing a few feet
away and put Brooke back on the ground, then draped his arm
protectively around her shoulders.

Though Mac was smiling at
him, Lucas still felt the unspoken words. “
Don’t mess with my sister.
”

***

“
I’ll see you tomorrow,”
Lucas said, leaned in for a kiss good night, then dropped his
forehead to hers. He ignored the fact that Mac could see them from
the other room and whispered, “Good night.”

She squeezed his hand in a silent thank
you for letting her have this night alone with Mac. “I’ll text you
when we are on our way.”

With one last kiss, she was shutting
the door behind him. Turning on her heels, she saw Mac staring at
her with one eyebrow raised. “He didn’t have to leave on my
account.”

She rolled her eyes, her only response
a snort as she walked back over and sat on the couch across from
him.

“
What?” he asked
innocently.

This time she raised her eyebrow at
him. “Mac, I don’t need your protection. There’s no need to be a
guard dog around Lucas. And he was the one that suggested an early
night. He figured we would want some time alone.”

“
Oh,” he replied with a
frown.

“
He isn’t like Robbie. Trust
me, I know the difference.”

Tilting his head to one side, Mac’s
face softened. “How are things now? After you told him about
Robbie? And what did you tell him exactly?”

“
Things are good. Back to
where they were before. It was an awkward couple of days, but we
got through it,” she said, remembering how quiet Lucas was around
her that next day. “I told him the basics. Robbie and I worked
together, we dated for a year and that he was driving the car the
night of the accident. I really didn’t want to go into more
details. I know it hurt him. I know
I
hurt him by not telling him earlier.
And I hope I’m doing the right thing by not telling him the whole
story about that night. Nothing can change what
happened.”

“
No, nothing can change what
happened that night. And you can’t dwell on it. Personally, I think
you waited too long to tell Lucas, but you can’t change that
either. You told him, and you got through it.”

She knew she disappointed Mac with how
she handled the situation with Lucas. If truth were told, she
disappointed herself, too. But she didn’t want him to know that,
instead she wanted to give him grief. “Oh, you’re going to take his
side, huh? Considering you just did your best to act like a
protective guardian,” she accused. “And by the way, I know him, and
I bet he found it more amusing than anything, the way you acted
tonight.”

He grinned at her. “Sorry. It’s a guy
thing. I’m supposed to protect you. But I can’t help but think that
if I were in his shoes I wouldn’t have been happy either. I just
met the guy, Brooke, but the way you talk about him, the things you
say he does and how he acts around you, it all sounds like a guy
who is pretty heavily invested. He had a right to know is all I’m
saying.” Brooke eyes watered, she blinked back the tears, and he
continued on. “I’m not saying it was wrong, but it wasn’t right
either.”

“
That statement makes no
sense at all,” she argued, disgruntled at how he could flip back
and forth emotionally.

With a shrug and grin so like Lucas’s
he burst out laughing, then sobered instantly. “I want you happy.
If he makes you happy, then I’m for him.” He changed the subject.
“So tell me about this party tomorrow?”

“
I can’t even begin to
describe his family to you. You have to see it for yourself. It’s
so unlike anything we were ever exposed to.”

“
How so?”

“
You know me, I wanted to
know a little bit more, so I researched his family. They own a big
law firm in the area. By all appearances, on paper at least, they
would fit perfectly into our parents’ social circle. But it’s on
paper only. Lucas’s father, Thomas, is a big bear of a man. Every
picture I saw of him online was serious and intimating, the same
with Ryan, Lucas’s brother. I expected to meet these two gruff men,
but that isn’t what happened at all.”

She paused, drew her eyebrows together
and tried to think a bit more. “If I had to sum us up in comparison
to a TV show, I could say we were raised by a Stepford
wife.”

In Mac’s most proper and stiff voice he
answered her, “That is an embarrassingly correct analysis.” Then
ruined it by snorting, which made him laugh again, and her
chuckle.

“
Anyway,” she continued
despite his interruption. “Well, Lucas was raised like
The Cosby Show
. I know how
it sounds,” she rushed on before he could interrupt her again, “but
I’m serious. It’s the way they all interact. Honestly, you have to
see for yourself tomorrow. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

***

Lucas questioned Brooke when she walked
through the hall toward the open living space where he was watching
TV, after noticing the two bags Mac was carrying. “Are you staying
a week?”

“
Of course not. I convinced
Mac to stay over tonight too. I explained how it would be more
practical, since it would shave an hour off his drive home later
tomorrow night. And would let him relax and have a few drinks
without worrying about driving back to my place
tonight.”

Brooke thought back to last night, and
how long it had taken her to convince Mac to stay at Lucas’s.
Telling him Lucas had a separate guest suite in the finished
basement, two floors down from his room. “It will be completely
private, for both of us.” She knew the last part was what finally
convinced him. She knew he was uncomfortable thinking about his
baby sister sleeping with a man in the same house as
him.

She grinned at Lucas. “I also bribed
him with breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“
Pancakes” and “French
Toast” were both spoken simultaneously. She rolled her eyes at
them, grabbed her bag from Mac and walked upstairs to Lucas’s
bedroom.

Lucas stood up as he watched Brooke
climbed the stairs. “Guess I’ll show to you the guest
suite.”

Mac looked around the room and said, “A
lot of space for one person.”

“
Yeah, well I hope it won’t
have only one person for long.” Lucas’s look challenged
Mac.

“
Good luck with that. I
think you might need it.”