Roads Less Traveled (15 page)

“See, nothin’ to it,” he said. I snorted and followed closely. We were still cautious as we checked all the bedrooms, and were quite relieved to see the violence had been contained to the ground floor level. I also noticed that this house’s layout was very similar to my own. We only needed two beds: one for Kyra and Nancy’s room, and one for Ben and Jake’s.

“I want the racecar bed,” Jake said as we entered the boys’ room. I laughed and pointed to the other bed in the room; a simple twin size, no racecar frame. Jake sighed and said alright, then followed me down the hall. We stepped into the little girl’s room. This one also had a twin sized bed, but with a brass four-poster frame.

“Kyra will love this,” Jake snickered. I shrugged, not getting the joke but guessing it had something to do with her shitty attitude, and tapped his shoulder.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said as I started for the steps. Jake went to work stripping the sheets from the brass bed as I made my way downstairs. I stuck my head out the door and motioned for the others. When they got to the porch, I stepped to the side and let Ben and Zack in, and then stepped in front of Kyra to cut her off. As much as I was really starting to dislike the little snot-nosed brat, I figured a show of good faith was in order. So I handed her my pistol.

“I need you to keep watch out here for us. Have you ever fired a gun before?” I asked. She nodded and took the pistol. I patted her once on the arm and went inside, jogging up the steps and taking two at a time. The guys were busy dismantling the brass frame and already had the mattress and box springs leaned against the wall in the hall, so I went into the boys’ room and got started on that bed. I was just dragging the mattress off when Ben snuck up behind me.

“We’re ready to load the first bed,” he said. I jumped and swung back with my arm, catching him in the jaw with my elbow. He squealed and grabbed his face, staggering back a couple steps. I turned and caught him around the waist before he fell.

“Jesus Ben, don’t sneak up on me,” I said as I moved his hand away. His jaw was red, but otherwise fine. I patted his cheek roughly and led him out. Zack and Jake were pulling the mattress down the steps, so Ben and I took the box springs. Luckily, their width made them very easy to load, each lying flat inside the bed of the truck.

After several more trips, we finally had both beds and frames secured in the back of the pickup. Only then did we stop to take a break and catch our breath. Kyra came out of the house and met us at the truck with bottles of water tucked under her arms and shoved in her jacket pockets. We drank in silence, Kyra leaning from one foot to the other with a cheery look of futility on her face.

“Alright, so who’s sittin’ on my lap?” Jake asked after gulping down the last of his water. I nearly spit my mouthful out, and Kyra giggled. The other guys just chuckled as they piled into the cab.

* * *

That evening after supper, I sat on the porch swing with Ben. Red and orange leaves swirled on the ground as a crisp breeze swept across the ridge. Mr. and Mrs. Chipmunk were once again gamboling under their tree. It felt like snow, though it was still a month away, or at least I hoped. I could hear the others talking in the living room. Ben also talked, quite extensively, of their trip and all they had seen. I held his hand and let him cry, said all the right things in all the right places, while in my mind I was somewhere else.

I had started doing that a few days earlier; be in the middle of eating lunch, or, after the others got here, be talking to one of them and just space out. My body continues doing what it was doing, eating, talking, etc., but my mind just leaves; shuts down for a few seconds - or minutes - then
BAM
, my brain wakes up and I’m back, as if nothing ever happened. Sure, it was a defense mechanism; sure, it was my mind’s way of saying, “Whoa girl, there’s too much crazy shit going on here. But no worries, I’ll take care of it.” But even though I knew the what and why of it, I still felt as though I was taking a leisurely stroll through Nutville.

I didn’t miss all of Ben’s recounting. I heard enough, believe me. So I took it upon myself, after he had dried his face, to discuss lighter things. I tried to slip into that old familiar groove we’d had before all this crap happened. Dried leaves danced across the old wood decking, twirling and skittering around our feet. Occasionally Gus would chase one, then get bored and find his place at my feet again. We talked about old memories, old jokes. The constant droning panic that had loomed in both our hearts since Day One was temporarily forgotten. I laughed, he smiled, until the sun was nothing but a red sliver on the horizon.

The chattering inside had eased up a bit by the time we went in for the night. Kyra was curled up asleep in the chair, Jake sat on the couch, Nancy was in the kitchen, and Zack was stretched out in the recliner. Gus shoved past my legs and went straight upstairs to bed. I heard a murmuring and looked around. No one was talking.
Okay now I know I’m going crazy,
I thought.

Then I saw it; the TV was on. Someone had popped in a DVD. I stared at the screen for several minutes and thought,
I’ve been here for how many days, bored to the point of stupidity, and I forgot about the DVD player?!
Ben had already brushed past me and plopped himself down beside Jake before I finally realized what movie was playing. I lost my shit before I could stop myself.

“What the hell are you watching?” I asked and stomped over to the set. I jabbed the power button on the DVD player and shut it off. I stared at the TV’s blue screen, then turned it off as well.

“Hey!” Zack and Jake protested in unison. I spun on them, glaring first at one, then the other. Jake scooted to the edge of the couch.

“We were watchin’ that, thank you very much. Gatherin’ vital intel and shit,” he said. Nancy appeared behind the couch and smacked her grandson on the back of the head.

“Vital intel huh? Tell me, Jake, what have you learned from watching
Dawn of the Dead
? Hmm?” I threw my hands out to my sides and looked around the room. “Please, enlighten me!” I was getting loud, and the silence in the room only made it worse.

“Well, for starters, don’t get trapped in a mall,” he said indignantly and pushed himself back against the couch. He returned my glare for a moment before averting his eyes to the floor. Zack kicked the recliner down and sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees with one eyebrow arched in my direction.

“You’re kidding me. Seriously, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I said as I looked from Jake to Zack. Nancy was frowning and shaking her head, and Ben just looked confused, not sure what I was angry about. Kyra was still snoring.

“Haven’t seen enough? We’re living in it for Christ’s sake! You want some more action, then get the hell out of here and find some! You want zombies, you want blood and gore and death? Maybe some adventure? Then go! Seek and ye shall find, you goddamn idiots! There’s not enough chaos and death around you that you have to watch
this
shit? “ I turned around and ejected the DVD, then threw it across the room like a Frisbee. Everyone cringed, but looked guilty as hell as they realized why I was going off the deep end.

Zack sighed and stood, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry we upset you. But you need to relax,” he said quietly. My fists shook at my sides as my nails dug into my palms. I stared him down for a few seconds, my cheeks red and ears on fire.

“This isn’t upset,” I finally hissed through clenched teeth, then strode to the stairwell. Nancy started after me but I held a hand up as I went. She had good intentions, but it would have ruined my exit. The others stared at the ceiling as I stomped up the steps and slammed my bedroom door.

“She just broke rule number six,” Jake grumbled. Ben punched him on the shoulder before Nancy had the chance.

* * *

Gus watched from his corner of the bed as I paced around my room. I was so angry, and I wasn’t entirely sure why. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Not only about the movie, but at myself for being pissed at something so trivial. It was just a stupid movie for Pete’s sake. I mumbled to myself and made several trips around the room before I realized I was in total darkness. At any other time that fact alone would have sent me into hysterics.

Gus squinted his eyes at the sudden brightness of the desk lamp. I ran my hand through my hair and continued pacing. I didn’t know I was crying until I swept a hand across my face and found my cheeks wet. I stepped into the bathroom for a towel when I heard someone knock. Gus perked his ears and watched the door. I took a few steps out of the bathroom, rubbing the towel over my face.

“Not now,” I shouted as I turned and stepped back through the doorway. Thoughts raced through my mind as I stared at myself in the mirror. I closed my eyes to the stranger looking back and gripped the edges of the cold porcelain sink. I kept thinking,
I don’t want to be here
. Then I would think,
Well if not here, then where
? My furious inner voice was still swearing about that movie, which was still a ridiculous thing to be mad over.

I kept thinking,
It’s a movie. Just a movie.
But that was the thing, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just a movie - it was life now. Literal life and death, not the proverbial. And they had the balls to watch that shit in my house? Did they think this was all funny? Did they think this was like Hollywood horror, where the smart and clever (and sometimes virginal), survived and only the idiots (and the occasional slut), died?

Mia was a smart and clever individual, why wasn’t she still alive? My family, for the most part, were smart and clever, why weren’t they alive? Did this mean these people were, in fact, idiots who had deserved to die? To be ripped apart, their insides torn from their bodies? Only then to reanimate and spend the rest of eternity (or the next several months before their bodies rotted away to nothing, whichever came first), roaming the planet with their fellow undead brethren?

These were the thoughts racing through my mind as I opened my eyes and saw Zack’s reflection in the mirror. He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his broad chest. His face was sympathetic, yet hard at the same time. I gritted my teeth and exhaled slowly, lowering my head and staring at the drain in the sink.

“What do you want,” I forced myself to ask. Fatigue was creeping into my voice as another wave of fury swept through me. This was my room, what the hell was he doing here? Can’t I find any peace?

“Ben wanted me to check on you. He also wanted me to tell you, there’s coffee on if you’re interested,” he answered softly.

I snorted once. “Then why the hell didn’t he come and check on me himself?” I said, my voice still thick with anger, even though that one gesture, small and insignificant as it may have been to the others, was already breaking past the madness that was weaving its way through my mind and pulling me back from the edge. It all seemed very clear to me at that moment. I had been angry because I was scared. And more simply, I was sad. What’s the most natural reaction to this? Take it out on the people around you.

“Coffee,” I mumbled more to myself than to him. I slowly shook my head as I stared at that drain, the soap scum ring and the two blonde hairs reminding me I needed to clean sometime soon. I watched a tear fall and slide down the white porcelain. Had I been crying again? I raised my head and looked at him. What he saw must have been worrying. He pushed himself off the doorjamb and stepped up behind me, laying a hand on my shoulder. All it took was one squeeze and I lost it again. I dropped my head between my hunched shoulders and cried. My knuckles were white from clenching the sink but I didn’t make a sound. Silent tears ran down my face and washed the stray hairs down the drain.

“Sorry about earlier. I don’t know what got into me,” I choked through broken sobs. That’s what I felt like: broken. He slipped both his arms around mine in a hug and held me tightly, my back pressed against his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder and studied me in the mirror.

“Don’t apologize,” he murmured. I let go of the sink and crossed my arms, gripping his elbows as tightly as I had the sink just moments before. I closed my eyes as I struggled to regain my composure. The only thing I hated more than crying was doing it in front of someone else. I straightened up a bit so I could meet his eyes in the mirror. I smiled faintly, and he smiled back. I patted his arm and nodded. That was the only thank you I could muster at the moment.

He nodded back, then pulled away from me. I busied myself with turning the water on to splash my face while he leaned against the wall and watched me. I tried to make small talk in a pathetic attempt to cover the emotional fog that hung in the room, but caught the words before they left my mouth. I really didn’t feel like saying anything, nor did I really have anything to say. He just smiled and remained silent as well. I dried my face and he followed me as I turned out the light and left Gus to his siesta.

* * *

The downstairs was quiet as I entered the kitchen. There were lamps on in the living and dining rooms, just enough to light up the place. There was no sign of Ben, or anyone else for that matter. I shook my head as I took a coffee cup from the cabinet and poured myself a cup. Zack had parted ways with me upstairs, saying goodnight before disappearing behind his bedroom door. I had the house all to myself now, or at least these few rooms for the next few hours anyway.