ROAR (67 page)

And one very important matter to discuss with him—how soon they’d try to get pregnant.

Kristoffer returned. “They’re good for now. That dinner we had in Frankfurt must have stuck with them as it did me. But you, Sprite, hardly ate enough for a bird.”

The microwave dinged, and while her meal remained inside another minute per the instructions, he walked over to her and reached for her hand. He started to guide her to an upholstered seat where the dining area was, but stopped to wrap her in his arms and kiss her again, his hands splayed on her butt as he pulled her against his erection.

They separated and he smiled. “I can’t wait to get you home.”

“Who said we had to wait?”

He chuckled. “I do, at least until you’ve had your dinner—or lunch. My internal clock is so far off I don’t know what time it is, but I’m sure it’s time for some meal. Then we’ll see what you feel up to.” His smile promised something delightful, for sure.

After he had her sit and buckle up in case of turbulence, he retrieved her leftovers from the German restaurant and served them along with a glass of chardonnay.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything, Kristoffer?”

“I’ll join you for dessert later.” While they had ordered apple strudel to go, she somehow didn’t think by the tone of his voice that’s what he meant.

She finished every bite, not realizing how hungry she’d been. “That was fabulous!” Pamela glanced around. “Have you traveled in this jet before?”

He shook his head. “Gunnar’s only had it a few years, and I was rooted in Denver those years.”

She nodded her understanding. Wanting to lighten the mood again, she grinned. “Maybe we should talk him into a trip to Norway next summer. He could coax Heidi away, and the four of us could explore together.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Not a bad idea. I’ll talk with him about it.”

“I missed hanging out with Heidi this time. Man, if I’d known where they’d be placing me before I went, I might have declined.”

He grew stern. “In the future, we’re going to ask more questions, do more research, and make certain you aren’t taking on any unnecessary risks.”

Her heart warmed at his words. Not only that he intended to look out for her—and perhaps even save her from herself—but that he hadn’t laid down the law and commanded her not to take on such assignments anymore.

But she ought to lay his fears to rest. “I’ve tendered my resignation from the organization and plan to stay put for a long time to come. The way I feel right now, I’m not even sure about Guatemala, although I have a hunch I’ll change my mind again after I put this behind me in a few months.” At the look of worry on his face that she might traipse off again sometime soon, she quickly added, “Or years.”

“Better.”

After he cleared her dish and utensils away, she peeked out the window but saw nothing but ocean below them. Unbuckling herself, she carried her wine glass over to the fireplace and switched it on.

“Cold?”

“Not really. Just wanted to stare at the flames.”

He wrapped his arms around her. She loved that he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. Cherished. He made her feel so loved.

“Master Roar,” she said, signaling a change in tone and topics, “I’m ready to give you my answer.”

His body visibly stiffened, and she smiled. “Sir, have you been worrying all this time whether I’d accept? How can you doubt I would say ‘yes’?”

“Well, as proposals go, I’m not sure it’s what every woman dreams of when she thinks about her happily-ever-after ending.”

She set her glass on the shelf behind the fireplace and turned toward him, death rays probably streaming from her eyes. “
I’m
not every woman, and don’t you forget it.”

“No, indeed, Sprite, you are not.”

Appeased, she lightened up some. “For the record, my answer is an unequivocal ‘yes, yes, yes.’ To wear the collar of such a strong, protective man—someone who changed my life forever in such profound ways—is an honor and a great tribute to what we’re trying to forge for our future.” He started to lean down to kiss her, but she held up her hand. “It’s my turn to speechify, Sir. I’m not finished yet.”

He silently held up his hands in surrender, and she smiled sweetly before continuing.

“Your request was the most perfect—albeit perfectly unexpected—and phenomenal proposal any man has ever uttered to a woman since the beginning of time.”

“That good, huh?” She saw the twinkle in his eye.

“I know there will never be another man I could love more than life itself. No other man can make me feel one-billionth as worthy, protected, cherished, and loved as you do me.”

She peered into his eyes. “That you would find the perfect solution for us—one that would make me feel like the most important person in your life—makes me the happiest alpha brat around.”

He kissed her, but before they wound up making love on the floor of this jet, she pulled away.

“I love your brattiness. Always have.”

“Even when I’m supposed to be behaving?”

“Especially then, because it means you have some funishment coming.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she glanced cautiously at the cockpit door. Would they be interrupted if…

“Good, Sir, because I can’t be anything other than who I am. At least I know you’ve seen the real me and aren’t expecting someone else, which might lead to regrets.”

“No regrets, no guilt.”

“
My
only regret at the moment is that we’re not alone right now, Sir, so you can take your brat in hand.”

“Do you think I’d have a problem hauling you over my knee, if needed, because we might be overheard by Gunnar and Patrick? I assure you, neither would be shocked by anything we do here, but they’ve promised to alert me before checking on us.”

She smiled. “Why do I have the feeling I’m not going to make it to Eagle Vail Airport without a very sore bottom?”

“Because somehow I doubt you’re going to be able to curb your tongue even half that long—and I left the ball gag at home.”

He dug his fingers into her hair and tilted her head back, leaning down to capture her lips in a searing kiss. But before he proceeded to make love to her, or whatever he had in mind, she needed to discuss one thing.

“How would you feel about us ditching the condoms starting now? I don’t want to wait. I’m thirty-eight and you’re forty-one.”

“Well, I brought condoms along,” he said, “but I’m ready whenever you are. How’s your chief of staff going to feel if you now take a maternity leave so soon after being hired?”

“I guess we’ll have to find out, but legally, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Though if it would cause too great a hardship on the patients if there was no temporary replacement, I’m not above resigning.” She smiled up at him. “All I know is that it could take us months to conceive even if we’re both fertile. Why wait?”

He grinned. “Why, indeed?” Kristoffer kissed her again and lowered her to the rug in front of the fireplace.

P
amela awakened in their bed the following Monday, the day she would have just been arriving home by commercial flights, to find Kristoffer carrying a tray filled with a continental breakfast of fruit, pastries, and a glass of orange juice. She wouldn’t report to Children’s until next Monday, and Kristoffer seemed intent on pampering her in new ways every day. She already felt as good as new and excited about what they had planned for this week.

“If you don’t quit spoiling me like this, I’m going to get lazy, quit working, and lie here eating bonbons while watching daytime dramas all day.”

“Having you in my bed twenty-four/seven can be arranged,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he placed the tray over her lap. “But I’d have your hands restrained, your eyes would only be on me, and I’d be the one feeding you those bonbons.” He bent to place a kiss on her lips. “Good morning, Sunshine.”

She knew the nickname her mother had revealed would pop into his vocabulary at some point, although he might be referring to the sunlight streaming in the window onto her face.

“Now, this morning you are to eat, shower, and dress, in that order. We have an appointment with the Realtor at ten.” He straightened up. “I’ll leave you to those tasks while I take care of a few things in the office.”

Now or never.

“Wait. I need to ask you something.” She’d put it off for days, not sure how he’d respond to her request, but the collaring was set for tomorrow evening. She needed to talk with someone first.

He cocked his head when she didn’t continue and then prompted, “What is it? You know you can ask me anything.”

She set the untouched breakfast tray to her side and swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand beside him. Embracing him, she looked up at the love in his eyes.

For me.

But another woman had been gazed upon that way before Pamela had, and it was time the two of them met. “Would you take me to meet Tori?”

His eyes narrowed as he furrowed his brow in confusion. “If you’d like, but may I ask why?”

She swallowed. “Tomorrow, I’ll be joined to you forever, and I want to meet and thank the woman who loved you first.”

His eyes welled, and his voice grew husky when he spoke. “I’d like you to meet her and to introduce her to the woman who filled the void in my heart she left behind.”

That went better than expected. “Thank you!”

He bent to kiss her. “I love you so much.”

“And I, you.”

Their lips met briefly before he took her by the shoulders and turned her around, patting her butt as he pushed her toward the bed. “Now, eat. I’m going to reschedule house hunting until this afternoon. We’ll see Tori first.”

“Perfect.” Once she met Tori, she would be able to wrap her head around the search for a place to start their new life together.

An hour later, she walked into the bright room with him to see the atrophied woman curled on her side, vacuous eyes open and mouth gaping.

Kristoffer squeezed Pamela’s hand before letting her go and crossing the room to his wife’s side. “Good morning, sweetheart.” He stroked the side of her head, but there was no visible response. How heartbreaking the past four years must have been for him, to come here alone every day to see her, talk with her, care for her—and for her not to know he existed.

“There’s someone I want you to meet. I’ve already told you a lot about her.” He stood up and held out his hand to her. “This is Pamela Jeffrey. Pamela, meet Tori.”

She walked over and wrapped her left arm around his back for support—for her. He seemed to be fine, which reassured her he was ready to take the next step in their journey.

Pamela then let him go and bent down beside Tori’s face, holding and squeezing her shriveled and distorted hand. “Tori, I’ve heard so much about you. So happy to finally meet you.”

No response. With tears in her eyes, mainly for Kristoffer, she looked up at him. “Would you mind giving us girls a moment alone?”

He cocked his head, glanced at Tori, and then back at her. “Sure. I guess. I’ll just be outside.”

Pamela watched him leave and waited until he pulled the door closed before turning her attention to his wife again. She’d tried to practice the perfect words for days, but they all deserted her at that moment.

Others took their place, coming more from the heart. “Tori, I’ve come here today to reassure you that Kristoffer loves you and always will. We’d never have met if not for the accident because he took his vows seriously.”

She swallowed, her throat suddenly parched. “I know it’s hard to let go of a loved one, but I wanted you to know that I’m going to do my best to take care of him for the rest of my days. Not as his wife. That will be your title and rightly so.”

She teared up. “Tori, he loved you so deeply and still does. Don’t ever doubt that.” What else needed to be said? Had she conveyed everything she wanted to? “What the two of you shared is real and can never be diminished or destroyed.” She licked her dry lips and stared at the cool hand she held, unable to look into Tori’s empty eyes any longer. “I know you wouldn’t want him to be sad or lonely or depressed. He was so devastated by the accident.”

She drew a deep breath. “But he’s asked to collar me as his submissive, and I’ve accepted. Don’t have to worry about him anymore. I’ll take this next watch.”

Kristoffer also believed she was gone from him, so she wouldn’t pretend otherwise, but even though the body in front of her wasn’t filled with Tori’s presence, she had no doubt that the soul that once inhabited this body hovered nearby.

“He will never abandon your earthly body, nor will he ever forget or forsake the love you shared. But your perpetual absence from his life left Kristoffer alone and hurting. I am simply refilling the broken half of his heart.”

Each woman’s place in his heart was secure, side by side. “We’ve inadvertently formed a triad relationship. Not in life, but if there’s something beyond death, we will be together.” She liked to think Tori approved of her as the alpha submissive in the relationship and gave Pamela her blessing. Whether that was wishful thinking or truth, she couldn’t say, but a sense of peace came over Pamela in that moment. Tori was his wife. Pamela was about to become his collared submissive. Pamela was okay with sharing him—once they got there. Wherever
there
was.

But she and Kristoffer still had a lot of living to do.

“Tori, for the first half of his adult life, you were his primary concern, and now for the last half or however long we have together, I will be. But please know that he loves us both, just as we both love him. It’s just a matter of focus.”

Having no other words to say, Pamela stood. She saw that Tori’s eyes had closed.

“Rest now, Tori. I’ve got this covered, and I’ll take good care of him.”

When she opened the door and rejoined Kristoffer, he searched her face for answers. She smiled, but what she’d shared with Tori was between the two women who loved him.

She could tell it was on the tip of his tongue to ask what this visit had been about, but all of a sudden, he smiled and bent to place a kiss on her cheek.