Robin Lee Hatcher (26 page)

“I hope so.”

It simply had to succeed. She had something to prove, not to herself but to Hawk. He’d laughed at the idea of her running the bakery. Well, not laughed exactly but almost. It was important that she prove him wrong. Sometimes she wondered if that had become more important to her than winning his love.

No, his love was more important. She wanted Hawk more than ever, but he didn’t seem to want her. At best he wanted to be her friend.

Swallowing the hurt that thought brought with it, Bethany snuffed the lamps one by one, then slipped into her wrap and followed her cousin out the front door. A chill wind whistled down Main Street, carrying with it the brassy tinkle of piano music from the saloon.

“Evening, Mrs. Worthington.”

Bethany caught her breath at the sound of Hawk’s voice. He’d come at last!

“Evening, Mrs. Chandler.”

She turned toward him. It was too dark to see his face, yet she sensed his gaze upon her. Her heart beat a funny rhythm in her chest.

“I hear Monday’s the opening of the bakery. You ready?”

“We will be.”

“Good.” He nodded. “I wish you lots of luck with it.”

“Thank you. Will you be at the opening?” She sounded too eager but couldn’t help it. She wanted him there.

“Can’t say. I’ll have to see.”

His reply hurt, but she wouldn’t give up. He was here now. She would be glad of that.

“It’s turned cold early this year.” He motioned with his head toward the street where a saddle horse awaited him. “I’ll be half frozen before I get back to the ranch. But I’d like to walk you ladies home before I go. If that’s all right with you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Chandler,” Beatrice answered. “We would appreciate your company.”

Hawk offered an arm to her cousin, and she took it. Then he looked at Bethany and offered the other arm.

Maybe if she could see his face, maybe if she could read his expression, she would know what to say to him. Maybe then she could find the words that would change things between them. She wanted so much more than to hold his arm while he walked her home.

I don’t want to be your friend. I want you to love me
.

But she couldn’t see him. She had no words. And so, in silence, she slipped her arm into his.

They followed the boardwalk past the mercantile, Mrs. Jenkins Restaurant, and the Delaney Boarding House. The noise of the saloon faded behind them, swallowed by the wind. Before them, the dark silhouette of the church steeple stood against the star-studded sky.

How do I make him want me for his wife?

She longed to be able to talk to her mother and father. Her papa would have told her what she needed to do, what was right not just in his eyes but in God’s eyes. She loved her cousin and Ingrid and knew they wanted the best for her. But were either of them right about Hawk’s feelings or how she could heal the rift between them? If only God were as quick to answer her prayers as others were to offer advice.

Please, Lord. Please show me the way.

Hawk wasn’t sure what he’d hoped to accomplish when he rode into town earlier. All he’d known was that he needed to see her again. So now he was here, walking beside her, and his mind was a blank. He didn’t even have a good excuse for being in town this late.

He could ask her why she hadn’t gotten the annulment. Didn’t she want it or was it that the loss of her parents had shoved the matter aside? It might be good to know. But he didn’t have the courage to ask. Not yet.

Beatrice broke the silence. “We must all be tired. We’ve not a one of us said a word this whole way.” She released her hold on his arm.

Hawk glanced toward the house and then opened the gate with his free hand.

Bethany slipped away from him too. “Thank you for walking us home.”

“It was my pleasure.”

“Would you like to come in? I could make some coffee to warm you for the ride home.”

It was tempting. He wanted to be with her, but he was afraid he would remain silent and tongue-tied, like a schoolboy. He wasn’t used to feeling unsure of himself. He’d told Bethany on their wedding day that he was more used to being around cows than women, but he wasn’t a complete greenhorn. He should at least know how to sweet-talk the woman he loved. But how did a man go about courting his own wife?

“I’m sorry, Hawk. You said you needed to hurry back to the ranch.” She stepped away. “I won’t keep you. Good night.”

He watched as the two women moved up the walk and onto the porch. In the dark he couldn’t tell if she looked back before entering the house, but he liked to think she did.

Next time he would have something to say. Next time he wouldn’t let her get away before he could say it.

THIRTY-TWO

“You’ll come for dinner tonight. Ingrid won’t take no for an answer.”

Hawk nodded. “Told you I’d be there.”

Rand swung into the saddle. With both hands, he lifted the collar of his coat as his gaze swept the lead gray sky. “Looks like we’re in for a bit of weather. Might snow.”

“Kind of early for snow.”

“We’ve seen it in the high country this early before.” Rand massaged a shoulder. “And my bones tell me it’s comin’. Hope it doesn’t keep me from takin’ Ingrid to town for the opening of Bethany’s bakery. You goin’?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Well, you can tell us tonight. If you’re goin’, we can ride in together.”

Hawk stayed outdoors until his friend disappeared from view, then turned and went inside. Feeling the chill, he crossed the parlor and tossed another log on the fire, sending sparks flurrying up the chimney. The cabin was quiet except for the crackle of burning wood and the wind whistling around the corner of the house.

Too quiet.

He missed Bethany.

Four months. Four months was all he’d known her, and she’d turned his life upside down. He’d had his friends — cowboys like himself — and his ranch and his cattle. He’d been on friendly terms with most of the folks in town. He’d been content. Now look at him. Lonely. Trouble sleeping. And to make it worse, winter was coming. Winter, when he’d be cooped up with little to do but think about her and want her with him.

He never expected that loving a woman could cause a man so much grief. Bethany seemed an expert at it.

He grinned as he stared into the fire, replaying memories of her. The sound of her laughter. The spark in her eyes when she was angry. The tilt of her chin. He could have had her love and trust. He’d come to understand that. She’d cared for him, but he’d let pride blind him to the truth. Now he would have to start all over again.

And with the Lord’s help, he wouldn’t let her get away a second time.

“You didn’t need to come into town for me,” Bethany said to Rand as the buggy sped along the road.

“Glad to do it. This way I’ll get no argument when it comes time to take you home again.” He slapped the reins against the horse’s rump. “How’re things comin’ at the bakery?”

A groan escaped her. “Everything is in turmoil. Mr. Grant, the baker I hired, has been at odds with Cousin Beatrice since he arrived from Denver.”

“You gonna like running a business?”

“I think so, yes. I’ve learned a lot from Mr. Grant already. Only — ” she looked at Rand — “I wouldn’t want to do it forever.”

“Yeah. I understand.”

She thought he probably did.

The two of them chatted amiably about many things, and before they knew it, they arrived at the Howard cabin.

“I am so glad you have come.” Ingrid gave Bethany a tight hug as soon as she was inside. “Sit by the hearth. You are cold. I can feel it in your cheeks.” She placed another log on the fire. “I hope you are hungry.”

“Very. It smells delicious.”

“I have prepared a venison stew. I hope you will like it.”

The door opened, another burst of cold air swirling into the cabin. Rand entered with the wind. “Look who’s here.” Hawk stepped through the doorway behind him.

While host and hostess pretended surprise, Bethany found herself captured by Hawk’s gaze. She wasn’t fooled by the charade. They’d planned this meeting. Had he known she would be here?

“Hello, Hawk.”

“Bethany.”

“I didn’t expect to see you.”

He glanced sideways at his friend before removing his hat and placing it on a peg near the door. “I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“Take off your coat and join Bethany by the fire,” Ingrid said. “I will have our supper on the table soon.”

She felt a strange shortness of breath as she watched him shrug out of his sheepskin jacket. She longed to rise and go to him, to hang his coat beside his hat, to run her fingers through his hair, to —

“You look tired.” He sat in a nearby chair. “Are things going well?”

“Yes, but the days are long.”

“Everyone’s glad to know Sweetwater will have a bakery again.”

Was there an apology hidden in those words? As was too often true, she couldn’t read his expression. “I hope so. I want it to do well.”

Before either could say more, they were summoned to the kitchen.

Hawk held out his hand to Bethany, and without hesitation she placed her fingers in the center of it, loving the feel of his grasp. As he led her to the table, she wished he would look at her again. She wished he would smile. She wished she could tell him she missed him. She wished —

Rand cleared his throat. “Before we eat, Ingrid and I’ve got somethin’ we want to tell you both. I guess now’s as good a time as any.” He gave his wife a loving glance. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

“A baby?” Bethany pressed a hand to her heart. “Really? A baby?”

Her friend nodded, her face flushed with joy.

“That’s wonderful.” She hurried around the table to embrace Ingrid. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? When is the baby due?”

“I could not tell you. I was not sure until I saw the doctor.”

Rand answered her second question. “Doc says the baby’ll be here come April.”

“Congratulations.” Hawk slapped Rand’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you both.”

“Thanks. We’re mighty pleased about it ourselves.”

Bethany turned to look at Hawk. Was it possible they might have a child together one day?

The hours spent with Rand, Ingrid, and Bethany were pleasant and passed too quickly as far as Hawk was concerned. When it came time to leave, he volunteered to see Bethany back to Sweetwater and took it as a good sign when she didn’t object.

“You’d best hurry,” Rand said from the doorway. “Feels like that snow’s comin’.”

Hawk replied, “That’s what you said this morning.”

But Rand’s words proved prophetic. They were barely down the mountainside when the first sporadic flakes — large and lazy — began to fall, floating through the air like giant white butterflies.

“How pretty.” Bethany held out a hand to capture some.

He smiled as he watched her. She looked young and carefree. Like when she first arrived in Sweetwater with her parents.

But the idyllic scene didn’t last. In a short while, the snowflakes turned to sleet. The wind rose, driving the freezing rain at them like shards of glass.

“I’m heading for the ranch!” he shouted above the storm.

In no time, his fingers felt frozen around the leather reins. The sleet stung his forehead and cheeks. He glanced at Bethany. Her face had nearly disappeared inside the collar of her coat as she leaned forward into the tempest. Icy crystals clung to her hat and hair.