Robin Lee Hatcher (28 page)

Maggie laughed. “Fiona is enraptured over little Myrna. She can talk of nothing else but how sweet the baby is and when she first smiled and when she first laughed. The sun rises and sets by that child as far as she is concerned. And James is nearly as bad.”

Gavin stood off to the side of the fireplace, watching and listening to the two sisters, their faces animated as Emily asked about other mutual friends and Maggie answered. He noticed that Tucker didn’t attempt to participate in the conversation. Instead he leaned back in the chair and smiled as he observed them. There was something about his look, something about his posture that said he’d often sat and listened to them have similar conversations. Had listened and enjoyed himself.

Lucky man.

When Emily seemed at last out of questions, Maggie glanced toward her husband and said, “We were rather hoping to meet Mr. O’Donnell. Is it too late in the day to call upon him? How far from here is his home?”

A slight frown pinched Emily’s brow as she checked the watch pinned to her blouse. “It might be better if we do it tomorrow. It is growing late in the day.”

“If you think that’s best.” Maggie’s gaze shifted to Gavin. “Mr. Blake, would you mind terribly if we took Emily back with us for the night? We’ve already arranged for a room for her at the boarding house. We don’t want to take her from her duties but we — ”

“It’s all right, Mrs. Branigan. Of course you want to spend time with her. She should stay with you at the boarding house for as long as you’re in Challis. That’s why you came. We can manage without her.” He gave the children an encouraging nod. “Can’t we, girls?”

They can manage without me . . .
Those words ran through Emily’s head time and again as the sleigh carried them toward town.
They
can manage without me . . . They can manage without me . . .
Could Gavin have made it any clearer how unimportant she was in his life or the lives of his children?

In an effort to distract her thoughts from the grim refrain, Emily asked about more of their friends, and Maggie obliged her curiosity. But once the rented sleigh and horses were returned to the livery and they were seated at a table in the restaurant, Maggie asked her, “What’s troubling you, Emily? Something is. I can see it in your eyes. I could read it in your letters. It’s one of the reasons we came to see you.”

As much as Emily wanted to pour out her troubles to her sister, she couldn’t do so. Not yet. Not until she’d talked to Patrick. Not until she’d made things right. So she shook her head and said, “I’ve just missed you all very much.”

Maggie didn’t look convinced, but she let it slide. They spent the remainder of the evening talking of many things but never about Gavin Blake or the feelings she had for him.

Twenty-Eight

When the rented sleigh reached the top of the hill, Tucker reined in the team and looked over his shoulder at Emily. “Is that it?”

She nodded. “Yes, that’s it. Killarney Hall.”

“You didn’t exaggerate, did you?” He whistled softly. “It is a castle.”

Nerves fluttered in Emily’s stomach, making it hard to do more than nod. She’d lain awake most of the night, rehearsing the words she wanted to say to Patrick. Even so, she felt unready. Maybe she’d been wrong not to confide in Maggie first, not to get her advice. And yet, that hadn’t felt right to her. She had gotten herself into this predicament. She would have to get herself out of it.

The moment the sleigh pulled to the front of the Hall, the door opened and Patrick stepped into view. When he recognized Emily, he grinned and strode toward them. “Emily, love. This is a surprise.” His gaze lingered on her like a caress.

Oh, this was going to be so hard, telling him she couldn’t marry him. She didn’t want to hurt him, but that was exactly what she had to do. “Patrick, this is my sister Maggie and her husband Tucker Branigan.”

“A good Irish name if ever I heard one.” Patrick nodded at Tucker, then offered his hand to Maggie to help her out of the sleigh. “Emily didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“She didn’t know. We surprised her yesterday afternoon.”

While a servant took care of the horses and sleigh, Patrick ushered his guests into the house. They were soon joined by the rest of the O’Donnell brothers and Shane’s wife. More introductions followed. More idle pleasantries. Coffee was served along with pastries. And all the while, Emily’s insides were twisting into intricate knots.

“Have the two of you settled on a date for the wedding?” Maggie asked.

Patrick reached for Emily’s hand. “Sure and I haven’t been able to get an answer from her on that yet.” He squeezed her fingers, giving her a smile. “But the wedding will be just as soon as possible, I will tell you that.”

Emily felt the blood drain from her head. Her lips numbed and the skin on her face prickled. She leaned toward Patrick. “May I speak with you privately?” Her gaze shifted to Maggie. “You’ll excuse us, won’t you?”

Her sister inclined her head. “Of course.” But her eyes were filled with concern.

Emily stood and led the way out of the sitting room. She had no particular destination in mind, but soon found herself in the solarium, looking out the windows as she’d done the first time she came here, Gavin by her side.

“Emily? What is it, love?”

She turned to face him. “I’m sorry, Patrick. I shouldn’t have brought Maggie and Tucker with me.”

“But why ever not, love? It’s natural they’d want to meet me.”

“Oh, Patrick.” Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. “I should have come to see you alone. You deserve better than what I’ve given. But I can’t . . . I was wrong to ever — ”

Understanding dawned in his eyes. “So that’s the way of it.”

She lowered her gaze to her left hand. “I was wrong to have accepted your proposal, Patrick.” She removed the engagement ring he’d given her, the one she’d started wearing — at Patrick’s insistence — once the children knew her plans to marry him. “But I thought . . .” She held the ring toward him. “I thought — ”

“You thought you could learn to love me.”

She nodded, and now there was no holding back the tears. They dropped from her cheeks and made tiny splashes upon the tile floor.

“Don’t cry, love. I knew I was reaching beyond my grasp when I asked for your hand.”

“That’s not true, Patrick.”

He took her in his arms, and she let him. He patted her head and her back, as if soothing a child. “I’m thinking maybe I was too late to win your heart. I’m thinking it may have already belonged to another.”

He knows. He knows I love Gavin.

Gavin looked at the trunk that he’d set on the floor inside the boarding house door. Everything Emily had brought with her from Boise was now in that trunk, although not packed as neatly as when she came.

“You’ll see that Miss Harris gets this,” he said as he handed an envelope to Mary Smith, the boarding house proprietress.

“I’ll see to it, Mr. Blake.” Her eyes were filled with curiosity but somehow she refrained from asking what she shouldn’t.

Gavin was thankful for that.

He turned and left the boarding house. If he was a drinking man, he would have stopped in the saloon for a bracing shot of whiskey before the journey back to the ranch. As he wasn’t, he settled for turning his coat collar up and tugging his hat lower on his head before setting out toward home.

He should have sent Emily packing long ago. He should have released her from her pledge the instant he’d learned of her engagement. What had Dru been thinking when she hired Emily anyway? If not for Dru’s romantic notions of marriage and family, if not for Emily’s presence in his home, he wouldn’t have begun to want things he’d never wanted before.

Most of all, he’d wanted her.

He’d wanted to call her Emily instead of Miss Harris. He’d wanted to see her pale, silky hair freed from the hairpins and falling down her back. He’d wanted her to step willingly in his arms. He’d wanted to drink deeply of her kisses. He’d wanted to see her beautiful face the first thing every morning and the last thing every night.

He’d wanted her.

But he’d set her free, as he should have done weeks ago.

Emily cried all the way from Killarney Hall to Challis, cradled in the arms of her sister. She was so ashamed of herself for hurting Patrick the way she had. She’d used him abominably. He deserved so much better, yet he hadn’t condemned her as he had every right to do.

But even as she wept, there was a corner of her heart that felt a little lighter, a little relieved, a little hopeful. Hopeful that another man might look at her a bit differently, once he knew she wasn’t engaged.

Her hope died when she and Maggie entered the boarding house, and she saw her trunk on the floor of the entry.

“Mr. Blake brought it by a short while ago. Said you would want it.” Mary Smith stepped from behind the counter, holding an envelope toward Emily. “He asked me to give you this.”

Emily seemed unable to lift her arm to take the envelope from the woman. She couldn’t move, could scarcely breathe. Maggie didn’t suffer from the same paralysis. She accepted the envelope on Emily’s behalf before taking hold of her younger sister’s arm and steering her toward the staircase.

When they reached Emily’s room, Maggie asked, “Do you want me to leave you alone while you read it?”

“No. Please stay.”

Maggie took a seat on the chair near the window while Emily sat on the edge of the bed and opened the envelope.

Miss Harris,

It is best for everyone concerned that I free you from the
promise you made to Dru. You should not be expected to delay
your wedding until spring just because my wife asked you to
remain in our employ until then.

I have taken the liberty of packing your belongings in
your trunk so that you need not return to the Lucky Strike.

Brina, Pet, and I wish you much happiness in your marriage
to Patrick O’Donnell, and we will no doubt see you both
on occasion.

Gavin Blake

The realization hit like a hammer on her soul. He truly didn’t want her. He had packed her trunk and sent her away, not even allowing her to say good-bye. Not to him. Not to the children.

Fighting for breath, Emily crumpled the paper in her hand.

She had grown to love Sabrina and Petula. Did he hate her that much that he couldn’t even let her tell them good-bye?

“Emily?”

“I want to go home, Maggie,” she said softly. “I want to go home with you and Tucker. Just as soon as we can leave.”

“Of course. I’ll ask Tucker to make the arrangements.”

Twenty-Nine

They set out in the sleigh, Gavin and the girls, well before noon the next day. In no time at all, their exposed skin had turned red from the cold. Their breath made frosty clouds in front of their faces.

“What’ll I do while you and Brina skate?” Petula asked. “I could’ve stayed home if Miss Harris was there. Why hasn’t she come back? I thought she was only gonna be in town one night. Didn’t she say just one night?”

Maybe Gavin’s plan to give the girls an enjoyable afternoon skating on the pond before he told them Emily was gone for good hadn’t been the best idea.