Rock Her (Crimson Romance) (20 page)

Kate’s stomach lurched. “That’s not true, Emma. I’ve tried to be frugal so you could go to whatever college you wanted. If that thieving father of ours had control, he would’ve run through the money years ago.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Was she getting through?

“There’s a lot I need to say to you, but I hate to do it over the phone. There are documents … ” she got out, haltingly. “How did he find you?”

“I found him. I hired an investigator with the money you sent for the ski trip — ”

Kate grabbed the edge of the bed, legs trembling. “
Emma.
”

“I’ll be home for Thanksgiving next week with Dad,” Emma said, dully. “If you get the credit card statement, just … just … ” Kate heard her sobbing inhalation. “It’s my money, too, you know. And Dad needs our help. He borrowed the money and he’s going to pay it back at Thanksgiving.”

Her stomach plummeted. “You gave him money?” she breathed, horrified. “How much?”

“See? That’s all you ever care about, Kate. Money. Not me, not Dad, and certainly not the truth. I’ll tell you one thing. I’ll never forgive you. Never.” She hung up.

Kate stared at the phone in her hand. She shook her head to clear it. Dazed, she walked over to her laptop at the desk in the corner of the room.

She was barely making it these days between her living expenses and Emma’s room and board and credit card charges. Now she was on the verge of getting fired and didn’t have a job lined up.

Legs quaking, she sat down hard in the chair and flipped open the computer. Kate went through the log-ins on autopilot, finally bringing up the online balance for their credit card statement.

She blinked once, then twice at the screen.

Twenty-thousand dollars.

Emma had taken twenty-thousand dollars out on the credit card. She put her head in shaking hands.

There had to be a way out of this mess. Could she claim fraud? No, both her name and Emma’s were on the account. She called Emma. The call went straight to voicemail. She disconnected and tapped out a text.

Please call me.

She stood and moved toward the front door. Maybe a run would provide answers.

Kate was at the beach for her usual run after her shift, only nothing this morning was usual. Standing on the hard, packed sand near the edge of the ocean, she couldn’t do it. Her legs refused. Run? Her legs were trembling so much they barely held her. The sun shone. The water crept up and back ceaselessly as the tide went out.

She slid to the sand, pulled her cotton clad legs into her chest and rocked. Jaw clenched, teeth gritted against the relentless pain that suffused her. And then they came, she couldn’t beat the grief back any longer. Dissolving in sobs, she buried her face in her knees in a futile attempt to muffle the sound.

How had life gone to hell in such a short time? It all started here on this damn beach. And here she was helpless, alone and overwhelmed again.

Her sister was aligned with that monster who was their father. Had given him twenty thousand dollars. She should have told Emma what she knew about Matt years ago. She should have tried harder to make Emma understand about the insurance money and the cost of her tuition. Ava was right, Kate had cocooned Emma, tried to shield her.

Now look at the mess they were in.

It’s all my fault.

No wonder Emma couldn’t trust her. And Matt Gibson was downright dangerous.

Everything was in jeopardy now, her relationship with her sister, her job, Emma’s degree, maybe even Emma. What was she supposed to do?

Hot panting breath at her ear shocked her. She yanked her head away as Zack pawed at the ball at her hip, dancing and barking, impatient and oblivious to her turmoil. She threw the ball for him, a lame effort. She was terrified she would look up and see Alec. Not now. Not when her life had fallen apart, when she had fallen apart.

Then there he was, on his knees in front of her. She raised her head and met those brilliant azure eyes. Eyes that seemed to look right through her, hard jaw perennially scruffy. Her heart leaped. Couldn’t she have developed some kind of immunity to him?

Alec took one look at her tear-stained face and yanked her into his arms. He held her tight against his neoprene clad, now sandy body. The familiar feel of him, the concern so evident on his face sent her in renewed paroxysms of weeping.

Kate hadn’t cried like this, ever. She cried so hard she had trouble breathing, her sobs turning into coughs amid great gasping breaths. He held her tightly and repeated her name, gently, carefully.

After a long while, she slumped against him. He gathered her into his lap. She fit her head against his chest, drained, exhausted, empty.

“God, Kate.” He sounded shaken.

She made a feeble move to push away, which he immediately resisted, his grip tightening. Tears she thought were over leaked out, and she pulled away to look up into his beautiful face. He gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Oh, Alec. My life is … ” She stopped and shivered. “Emma.” Her voice broke.

“Has she been hurt?”

Kate shook her head. “She found our dad.”

“Uh-oh. Come on.” He stood, pulling her to her feet. “Come up to the house. Please, Kate.”

She wiped at her face, unable to stop the steady stream of tears, the occasional hiccough. She nodded, not trusting her voice.

He pulled her down the beach.

“Your board?”

“I dropped it up near the house when I saw you.”

He whistled for Zack and the dog came tearing toward them.

Once inside, he brought her to the master bath and turned on the shower, hot. The room filled with steam within minutes.

“Clothes off,” he said. “I’ll bring you a towel and robe.”

She followed his directions, some part of her vaguely aware that after so many years of trying to take care of everything, someone was taking care of her. She stood under the hot spray, trying to empty her mind, but all she could think about was Emma.

Emma had paid someone to find their father.

Emma had given their dad twenty thousand dollars.

Emma hated her.

And Emma was bringing that monster
home
.

By the time Alec came back in shorts, she sat weeping on the floor of the shower. He opened the door, swore softly and turned off the shower heads. He pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in a thick bath sheet. Patiently he dried first her hair, then, impersonally, her body. Struck by a belated sense of modesty, Kate protested, grabbing for the towel. They had a brief tug of war. Alec won and finished drying her off.

She followed him out of the bathroom to the bedroom where he helped her into an old soft t-shirt lettered with the name of a vaguely familiar band. Kate watched as he pulled back the sheets on his massive bed and gestured for her to climb in. She did and he joined her, pulling her up hard against his body, his back against the headboard.

“Tell me.”

She told him everything. About Emma finding Matt, the money. And finally, she told him something she had never told another soul.

In a halting narrative, eyes leaking continuous tears, she explained how her mom had finally gotten up the courage to kick Matt out of their lives; gotten a restraining order. And, how Matt violated the restraining order and raped her mother. A rape that resulted in Emma’s conception.

Kate stopped, unable to continue. Alec’s body was rigid against hers. She chanced a look up into his face. His horrified expression sent her into a renewed bout of weeping. He stroked her back and tried to quiet her.

“It’s going to be okay, Kate.”

He kissed her forehead and continued stroking her back.

“You need to tell Emma about the abuse. Of your mother, of you. She won’t be able to make a good decision regarding her relationship with her father until she knows at least some of the truth — about him and his violence. It’s only fair that she know what she’s dealing with. She may choose not to believe you, initially.”

A moan escaped her. She pulled away to sit cross-legged in front of him, holding his hands tightly.

“But I think given your relationship, she’ll come around. She probably doesn’t know who to believe. I’m sure she’s desperate for a relationship with her father, not surprising in light of what you’ve both been through. Have a little faith in her. He’ll show his true colors sooner or later. You said he borrowed money?”

“Yeah. Twenty thousand. Borrowed? We’ll never see it again.” Kate took a deep breath. “I was trying to protect her. I should have told her when Matt contacted me. She might have believed me then. But I was so afraid — ”

“Of?”

“I’m afraid she’ll find out about the rape.
I
couldn’t handle knowing that, there’s no way she could. It would destroy her.”

“She doesn’t need to know about the rape.” He tugged at her hair. “Something addicts learn in recovery is to make amends to people they have harmed. I’m kind of an expert in this area. When you make amends, you have to show common sense. If making amends creates further harm, skip it. The rape is a part of a bigger truth. He’s abusive, has a criminal record, he’s a thief and a con-man. That’s the part you share. Send her the documents. But, yeah, don’t let her know about the rape.”

Kate took a deep shuddering breath. “Okay. I’m going to burn the police report. If anything happens to me, she won’t ever have to know.”

“Good. Burn it.”

“What if she won’t listen? Alec, she’s so stubborn.”

“She’s going to be right here in Cielito. We’ll watch out for her. You’ll work on her Kate. She’ll listen, eventually.”

“
God
, Alec.” She looked up at the ceiling, jaw clenched. “I hate like hell to lay all this on you — ”

Something akin to despair flashed in his eyes. “Kate. You have to know that I want to help. You
have
to know how much I care about you.”

She looked down at her fingers, plucking at the bed sheet. He put a finger under her chin and gently lifted face to meet his.

“I am so sorry I hurt you. Left you there … at that party. I’m still such a fuckup. God, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” He cleared his throat.

Kate’s lips twisted. “I just don’t get it. Why did you leave? How could you do that … after … after.”

“I was freaking out. I kept losing control. I don’t lose control. Not anymore. After what happened at that party, I … didn’t know what to say. I was afraid to face you.”

Kate frowned, searching his penitent blue gaze. “But Alec, I was … into
that
.”

He cocked his head. “You were?”

Heat crept up her neck and flooded her face. She watched her fingers play with the sheet. “For Pete’s sake, Alec. Couldn’t you
tell
?”

He groaned. “I thought you’d be mad. Or hate me. And as soon as I walked back to the party, there were people in the living room … using.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw them.”

“I was tempted, really tempted for the first time in a long while. I was afraid I’d freaked you out with my jealousy and then what happened in that room, and, well, I ran. I ran to a meeting. Then I ran to Dave, then finally, I got some clarity talking with my sponsor. I came to Cielito to try to make amends.”

“I still can’t believe you left. And then there was that letter.”

Alec looked at the ceiling. “I know. I’m so sorry, Kate. That whole weekend was freaking me out. I was jealous of Butler, of — .”

She frowned. “You were jealous of that old man?”

He laughed, ruefully. “That old man only sleeps with twenty-somethings, Kate. But yes, I was jealous of Butler. And of Asher. Especially Asher. Jealous and angry that he got to spend the day with you. He sent me a picture of you looking — ”

“He sent you a picture of me?”

“Yeah.”

Kate shook her head. “I don’t remember a picture.”

“Did he tell you I told him to leave you alone?”

She drew back. “What?”

“I told him not to take you to lunch. I insisted on it. Typical Asher. Does what he wants, when he wants. Not that he’s selfish. He’s just —

“Oh, I know what he’s like. I thought since you were friends, I mean, I would never — ”

“No, I know. I know you wouldn’t. My emotions have been … uh … extreme since I met you, Kate. The jealousy, the sex, people using drugs at that party, I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Kate stiffened at his words.

“And apparently I’m not good at dealing with my feelings, particularly where you’re concerned, Kate. So I behaved badly.”

“And stupidly,” said Kate.

“Yes, stupidly.”

Kate smiled sadly at him. “I guess I can understand that.”

“Will you give me another chance?”

She gnawed her lower lip, meeting his sincere blue gaze, shyly. Her heart felt like it might come out of her chest it was thundering so wildly. “Do you think you can stop bailing on me?”

“Yes.” He took her hands in his and drew a deep breath. “I love you, Kate.”

Her breath caught. He loved her. Joy surged through her with an intensity that left her lightheaded.

Reaching for her hand, he continued, “I know my timing sucks but — ”

“I love you too, Alec. God knows I’ve tried not to, but — ”

He pulled her into his arms, silencing her with a tender kiss. He kissed her cheeks, her brow, her lips again.

“I have so much to sort out. Work, Emma, my dad … with everything that’s been happening.” She looked up at him. “It’s bad enough your family is awful, and that you have to deal with the messes your clients make.” She took a deep hiccoughing breath. “I don’t want you to deal with my messes too.”

He cupped her face with his strong hands. “I want to deal with your messes. It’s a privilege.”

She giggled. How had this gone from the worst day of her life to the best? A pang of guilt about Emma dampened her joy.

She kissed him then and he relaxed against her. When she leaned away, he spread his hands out in front of him and shifted restlessly against the headboard, clearly uncomfortable.

“Look, I’m not a good bet. I’m an old, washed-up, twice-divorced, ex-guitarist addict who flamed out years ago. I don’t know how to do normal. I really don’t. I went from alcoholic to workaholic.” He took a breath, watching her carefully. “I haven’t had a healthy relationship with a woman, in, well, a long time. Truth be told, I’m not sure I ever have. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to figure it out and make it good with you, and I promise not to run off again.”