Rock Star: The Deal (Book 3 of a Bad Boy Romance) (2 page)

T
here is
a moment when you shift from a dream to the reality, and it never quite measures up to the picture you had inside your head. TV only ever shows us the best, social media only gives us snapshots of the peak moments. But no one ever shows what goes on behind the scenes. No one shows the in between when you are tired, smelly and in desperate need of a shower. When you are stuck in a bus with a bunch of guys telling jokes about women. When they all look like they want a piece of you.

That’s how it felt as we arrived in the Big Apple. We were meant to be picking up Mia from the head office of the record label. I had to ask myself why such a high maintenance woman wanted to share a bus with all these men. Chase said that an entire section at the furthest part of the bus had been dedicated for her. A physical door separated her place from the area we were in. The only thing that was between us and the crew was a curtain. Like the kind you see on planes that divide up first class from economy.

I hadn’t seen in the back yet. But I had to wonder if she had got it stocked with the best that money could buy. Was she in this to promote him, leech off him, or fuck him? I hadn’t figured that out yet, but I suspected it was a bit of all three.

We had been waiting for over an hour when she finally showed up. A black handbag hanging from her arm, her hair pulled back in a severe ponytail. High heels, and a pencil dress, she had a certain sass to her walk.

“Chase, darling. Good to see you.” She kissed him on either side of the cheek, and then focused her attention on Luke. She looked at him like he was a T-bone steak.

“And you. Aren’t you delicious?”

Luke let out a laugh and hopped back on the bus, but not before Mia squeezed his ass. I couldn’t believe it. She was a sexual harassment case waiting to happen. When she caught sight of me her eyes dulled and narrowed.

“Ms. Sullivan.”

That was it. That was the extent of her greeting. No warm handshake or hug, or any nod of the head. Just a blank stare and my last name.

“Chase, be a darling and make me a gin and tonic. Then bring it out back, we have to go over the schedule for the tour.”

“Yes, madam,” Chase said before tossing her the middle finger. Clearly, she wore the pants in their relationship. Not even Chase had a room to himself. He shared the same quarters as us. And he was the main star. It made no sense, and yet it did. She was in control of this train and had been for a long time. It was the reason why he continued to make money. For as long as he was, so was she. I would have loved to see her paycheck at the end of the month. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was making more money than Chase.

“So is she going to be with us for the entire tour?”

“Afraid so,” he said, moving behind a bar and pouring out a drink for her.

“Are you always her butler?”

He stopped pouring and looked at me.

“You think I’m her whipping boy, don’t you?”

“Well, look at the arrangements. Shouldn’t she be the one bringing you a drink?”

“Mia might not be the warmest person, but she has a good heart.”

“You think so? Or is that what she tells you?”

He shook his head and carried her drink out.

I took the opportunity to follow behind. I wanted a good look at where she was staying. We had been told that when we were in the cities, we had the choice to stay in one of the hotels, or on the tour bus. I planned on taking advantage of the hotels. Slipping into clean sheets, feeling some sense of separation from the others. Yep, I wanted that now, and I was pretty damn sure that within a matter of weeks, I would be begging for it.

I followed him in, and glanced around. It was astonishing. It obviously wasn’t real gold, but the sides of the walls were made from a metallic golden substance. A large chandelier hung in the living area over a throw rug that was no doubt as expensive as the light above it.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I didn’t see a sign that said no trespassing.”

She scowled at me.

“This is off-limits to the staff.”

“Staff? Aren’t you staff?”

Her nostrils flared. I imagined steam coming out of her ears.

“Careful, young lady. As easily as you were added to the roster, you can be removed.”

“Go ahead.”

Chase tossed me a look, and motioned with his hand near his throat, as if to tell me to drop it.

“I knew this wasn’t a good idea.”

“What? You coming on the tour bus with us?”

“No.” She raised her voice. “You being here.”

“Well, like I said. If you have a problem, drop me off and I will catch a bus home.”

“That can be arranged.”

“OK, guys. Let’s calm it down, OK.” Chase tried to jump in.

The truth was, there was still tension between us. We had never got off on a good note. She was a manipulating bitch who had spent too much time leeching off Chase, and now thought she was more important than him. She was management for goodness’ sake.

I turned around and went back into our quarters. I wasn’t going to put up with her shit throughout this trip. And I definitely wasn’t going to be the one to bring her drinks. Maybe Chase couldn’t see it. But I planned on making damn sure that once this tour was over, I would go my own separate way. Find new management.

The driver came back. “Anyone know when you want to leave?”

Chase shouted back, “We are going to stay here for the night. We’ll leave in the morning. If you guys want to go get yourself some dinner, be my guest.”

I watched them all pile out of the tour bus.

“Where you going?” Luke asked.

“With them, to get a bite to eat. Want to come?”

“But I thought they do their thing, we do ours?”

“Please. Get over yourself. You sing, you’re not above them.”

With that I left and caught up with the guys. The crew were a hefty bunch of men. Davie West had a thick beard and looked as if he had just filmed an episode of
Duck Dynasty
. Ernie Baxter had a patch over his eye and his body was covered in tattoos. I soon learned he was an ex-marine that had been in the Vietnam War. Jimmy “The Newt” Ragan was the shortest of the bunch. He had piercings all over his body. His earlobes hung down with what looked like huge, black shower curtain hooks. The others were a motley crew of youngsters that were interning. I didn’t even know you could intern with a tour crew, but apparently that’s how a lot of them got started nowadays.

“So you’re the new girl. The one that everyone is going on about,” Jimmy said.

“I guess so.”

“How are you liking it?”

“I’m not really sure, to be honest. I run a café back in Lakeside. This is a little overwhelming, to tell you the truth.”

We crossed a busy intersection. New York was full of yellow cabs zipping by, and an ocean of faces of all ethnicities.

“Ah, you’ll get used to it,” Ernie said. “I’ve been doing this for over twenty-one years.”

“It’s true. He’s toured with some of the greats. Tell her about Keith Richards and the drug scene, or Blondie,” Davie added.

“Yep. The key is to stay true to yourself. Stay grounded. Don’t let this all go to your head. As I have seen some of the greats fall. Lose it all, they have. Money, the fame, it all goes away, if you don’t treat people right and look after yourself.”

Dreams and hope hung from neon signs that flashed. Signs outside stores attempted to lure people in with the latest seventy percent off and going out of business sale. It was a known scam that stores run. You could visit there every day for the next year and those signs wouldn’t change. If they did, it was just to a new sale. Some of the store owners hung around outside their stores, smoking cigars and giving nods to everyone who passed them. I could feel their eyes on my ass as I walked past.

“Thanks. I don’t think there will be any chance of me growing an ego and falling into the abyss.”

“That’s what they all say. You wait until the money rolls in. Money changes you. It makes people go all crazy. They start trying to impress their friends. They say they are going to live in the same town. But before long they have bought a fifteen million dollar mansion, are on their third marriage and have terrible relationships with their kids, if they even have any. The worst become so narcissistic they think the world owes them something. Listen up, kid, the world owes you nothing. Just remember that.”

We continued until we found a pizzeria called Jerry’s Pizzeria House.

“This will do,” Davie said, licking his lips.

“Do they pay you guys well?”

“You’ve got to be kidding. Chase is good but that bitch, Mia. If she had her way we would work for free.”

“Yeah, I notice she likes to have Chase running around after her.”

“The guy is insane. She tried that on me. I told her to piss off.” Davie had a thick Irish accent. He seemed like the kind of guy you wouldn’t want to meet down some dark alley.

I laughed. “How did she take that?”

A waitress seated us in a booth.

“She tried to have me fired. Chase wouldn’t have any of it. He stuck up for me and told her that I was the best he had.”

“That’s right,” Ernie said. “Without us, they would be stuck on the edge of the highway, or worse singing to a crowd without speakers. They honestly don’t know how easily that would ruin their shows. Just a flick of a switch and boom, the crowd wouldn’t be able to hear them. We could turn off the lights, or make it so they fall from a great height when they are on those wires.”

“You would do that?”

“No, of course not. But we could if we were assholes. But that’s why we get paid the big bucks. To not be assholes. Aye, guys?”

They laughed as the waitress took their orders and another brought over two pitchers of beer.

“Now what about you, young lady? You got some man at home to keep you warm when you get back?” Ernie asked.

“She’s seeing Chase, you idiot.” Newt said.

Ernie flashed him a look and Newt went quiet. I was about to answer when Luke showed up.

“Well looky, looky. It’s the other newbie. Come, take a seat beside us lowlifes,” Davie said.

“This is new, isn’t it? Eating with the kings and queens,” Luke said.

“The kings and queens?”

“It’s what road crew call celebrities. Those they have to wait hand and foot on.”

I blew out my cheeks. “I’m not a queen. Just a girl looking to sing a little.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ernie said. “They all say that, then the next thing you know, we find them snorting cocaine off some guy’s penis.”

“Ewwww,” I said.

They roared with laughter and filled their glasses with beer.

“Here’s to the next three months. It’s going to be one hell of a ride,” Ernie said.

“Chase not coming?” I asked Luke as Luke gave his order to the waitress.

“No, he seemed to be in a bit of a heated conversation with the witch. I opted to get out of there.”

“So what’s your family think about all of this?” I asked him

“They were over the moon. Super excited for me. Others, well, they couldn’t believe it. I did have a few who were downers and said it wouldn’t last, but who needs those folks around? They are just jealous.”

“You might want to get used to that,” Ernie said. “In fact you might find us guys your closest friends.”

“Really?”

“Oh, really. The amount of times we have been there listening to some artist sobbing his heart out, while sloshing back Jack Daniel’s at two in the morning. It’s crazy. You see, here’s the thing, you two. Once that money starts flooding in, and believe me, it will, you won’t know what to do with yourself. You are going to think you are on top of the world. And for a short while you will be. You will be the talk of the town. You’ll be praised up and down from the east to the west coast. And then you’re going to do something really dumb. Maybe you cheat on your girl, or guy. Maybe it’s snorting…”

“OK, I think we get the picture,” I said, cutting him off before he filled my head with that gross image.

“Anyway. Eventually it catches up with you. And the only ones who are left to listen to your bullshit, is us. So treat us well, as we might be all you have when it all goes south. When the tabloids are screaming at you.”

“It won’t affect me,” Luke said in his usual nonchalant manner.

Ernie nearly spat out a mouthful of beer.

“Are you kidding me? It affects everyone. Mark my words. They will lift you up and then beat you down and when you are down on the ground, they will come along and give you a good kick in the gut for good measure. It’s just what they do. We have seen it time after time. They come for everyone.”

“Not everyone.”

“If you say so,” Ernie said, grinning from ear to ear.

We could tell the others thought it was funny too. As they all said at the same time, “No one understands.”

Then they all cracked up.

“What?”

“That’s what they say. No one understands them. Then we spend an hour listening to their shit about how bad life is. Meanwhile they don’t realize they have a bank account with more money than we could ever hope to earn in a lifetime. They have two homes. They vacation as many times as they like every year. Please. No one understands? No one gives a shit, more like it.”

We joined in their laughter and had a great meal that night. It was good to hang out with them. To get to know the road crew and learn more about what they saw. And man, what they saw was sure eye-opening. I hoped it wasn’t all true. But I kind of got the feeling it was.

I
imagined
that the next three months would comprise a lot of excitement. Media attention, fans and nerves as we played to thousands of people. What I didn’t bank on was meeting the crazies.

I was told that there were always the ones who were looking for their fifteen minutes of fame, even if it meant finding it through hurting you. Ernie had been the one to bring it up. He said you have three types of crazies. First, there was the non-threatening kind. They would follow you around from concert to concert, show up at your hotel door or line up for hours in hopes of getting just a glimpse of you. Next, there were the tickers. They were like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. They did everything the first crazies do, except they would take it a step further and try and break into the tour bus or hotel room, or sneak in the backstage area. There was no telling what they would do. Then you had the real crackheads. Those who would cut you, kidnap or even kill you. They were masters at blending in with the crowd. They wouldn’t do any of the stupid stuff that would have security keeping an eye on them. No, they planned and took action. They looked like any other concertgoer, but if they got their hands on you, it was very unlikely you would come out of it living.

Ernie had said that he had done security for countless bands and artists. There had only been one that had died under his watch. He wasn’t on duty that night. She was a female artist who had gained the world’s attention. They knew that someone was stalking her, as they would find flowers in her dressing room, notes in her tour bus and used condoms in her hotel room. It was creepy as hell.

I listened fascinated and somewhat freaked out by it all. I hadn’t given much thought to fans who were mental. But they were out there. They hung on the appreciation you showed them. The line between wanting to meet fans or shy away was a fine one. Few artists knew how to do it well.

“Did anything like that happen to Chase?”

“Oh yeah. He’s got a whole pack of crazies who would like to take a strip of him.”

“But we won’t get that, will we?”

The whole conversation had thoroughly freaked me out.

“Love. You and Luke are now in the limelight. You don’t have to be good. You just have to become someone’s obsession. They could be obsessed about anything.”

We were gearing up for the Carolina Country Music Festival in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The event was held right down by the water. Thousands of people peppered the field in front of the main stage. Media had pumped up this event as the return of Chase Bryan and the introduction of Luke and Meghan. They were calling us the Three Amigos. Strange. Yes.

Luke and I were meant to open for Chase. Behind the curtain I glanced out.

“So Luke’s going to play, then you are, then you’ll both do a song together at the end and Chase and his band will play. You got that?” Mia said.

I nodded. I leaned against a wall, I thought I was going to throw up. Luke patted me on the back.

“You got this, girl. Don’t worry.”

And like that he strolled right out there on that stage to the roar of the crowd and broke into a song. He made it look so easy. He was born to do this. Me, I was starting to have doubts.

“Hey,” Chase said.

I looked up from the bucket that I was pretty sure was going to collect last night’s dinner. I regretted having so much to drink.

“Everyone gets nervous. It’s normal. It’s how you know you are alive. Just picture in your mind that you are back at the Steamy Beans Coffee House, playing to that little crowd.”

“Are you nuts? Have you not seen that crowd out there?”

He started laughing.

“Welcome to the big leagues,” Mia said.

“Now what is this about Meghan and Luke playing a song together? I thought it was going to be me and her?”

“Oh ease up. We are just starting the tour this way. See how they get on. People know them from the show. They would expect to see them playing together, but not you and her.”

“Not sure I like that arrangement.”

“Too late now.”

Mia shoved me beyond the curtain. I stumbled out. I looked back. Chase looked as if he was going to fire Mia right there on the spot. Mia was loving it. She had a big grin on her face. I was pretty sure she was doing this on purpose. Originally I heard that Luke and I would be playing together the whole tour. Then she changed it up so that I would be playing by myself and only singing one song with him.

Luke passed me and gave me a wink. “Knock ’em dead. It’s amazing.”

I grimaced as I turned to face the crowd who were cheering.

“Right. Meghan, you can do this.”

I straightened up. Gave a smile and stepped up to the mic. I tapped it. It echoed and a loud ear-piercing sound, feedback from the speakers, reverberated. I turned back and could see Chase looking on. He gestured with his head as if to encourage.

“Hi, I’m Meghan Sullivan.”

The crowd went quiet. Then I heard someone shout, “You suck.”

I motioned to the band to begin and they went through four bars of the song, and then around again. My timing was off and so they went around again. The crowd was starting to get impatient. The band tried again, this time I started to sing but the mic cut out. That’s when the booing began. That was followed by plastic beer cups being thrown.

Without missing a beat, I turned around, head dropped, and hurried off stage. I pushed past Chase and dashed into the women’s bathroom. Before I had even made it into the stall I began to cry. I was humiliated. Seeing that massive ocean of faces was too much. I choked.

“Meghan?”

I could hear Chase outside. The door was slightly ajar.

“Well, you go in there and speak to her,” Chase said.

“Leave her be. Maybe this isn’t for her. Have you thought about that, Chase?” Mia said. “Not everyone is meant to play on the big stage. Some are better off in smaller venues. Perhaps she is just not cut out for it.”

“Bullshit. And anyway what the hell happened to her mic? If I find out you had anything to do with that, you are fired. Do you understand?”

“You can’t fire me. I’m the only thing that is keeping you out of hot water.”

“Just go in there for God’s sake and speak to her.”

I heard the door open and then close. Her high heels clattered against the tiled floor as she approached the stall. A knock.

“Meghan dear. Can you come out?”

“Go away.”

“Listen. Everyone has choked at some point. It’s normal. Just gather yourself together and go back out there.”

“I’m not going back out.”

I felt like a kid in school. Hiding away. Truth was, it was embarrassing beyond belief. The last thing I needed or wanted to do was make myself look even more stupid by going back out on the stage and choking again.

“So you are just going to stay in there?”

“For now.”

I could hear what was being said over the main speakers by Chase.

“Settle down. Give her a chance. Meghan Sullivan is new to this. But she’s really good. We had a technical malfunction, that’s why you couldn’t hear her. Now she will be out in a second. When she comes out I want to see you all give her a big hand.”

He was putting his own reputation on the line by saying those things.

I gathered myself together and unlocked the door.

“Ah, there you are.”

I stared at myself in the mirror. My mascara had run. I looked more like Alice Cooper than a country singer.

“Here.” She unbuttoned her purse and handed me a tissue. I wiped my face. She then gave me some fresh makeup and I freshened up. No words were exchanged between us as I readied myself to go back out on stage. I had a sense that she didn’t want to get on Chase’s bad side.

Within a minute or two I stepped back out on the stage. This was it. Final chance to get this right, otherwise I would have to head back to Lakeside with my tail between my legs.

Luke had a guitar, and he’d come out. “Here, we’ll sing this one together.”

I glanced at Chase. I don’t think he liked it but what he wanted was the furthest thing from his mind now. I imagined he just wanted to give the crowd what they had paid to hear. Good music.

As Luke began to play, I loosened up. I closed my eyes and tried to picture the Steamy Beans Coffee House. I thought about Spike and Sophie and felt a smile come to my face. Then we began. Over the course of the next twenty minutes we played four songs. They went off without a hitch. By the time we got to the second song the crowd was getting into it. And when we ended, the crowd was cheering. We waved to them and came off.

“You did real good, Meghan,” Chase said.

“Sure did,” Luke added.

It felt good to win over the crowd. Mia stood in the wings, her eyes narrowed as if she was contemplating what to say. She never did say anything. Instead she turned and disappeared off stage.

After, Chase went out again, and the crowd went wild. He played for just over an hour before he returned to the tour bus. The atmosphere was electric when he came back. I could see what he meant by a high.

As we pulled out of there that night, I sat with the road crew in their living area. Newt tossed me a beer.

“I think you deserve that,” he said.

“Oh I don’t drink much.”

“Get it down you. If you want to hang out with us, drink or be gone,” Ernie said.

I popped it open and chugged it down. Within ten minutes I felt amazing. I was no longer bothered by what people might have thought. What had taken place earlier that night.

“Oh don’t worry about the crowd. They love a good comeback and you gave that to them.”

As we drove away heading for the next venue, I noticed Chase was absent. I had seen him get on the bus, but we hadn’t spoken. Luke was hanging with us. I was starting to warm up to Luke again. He was a good guy. He had tons of talent.

“I need to take a break,” I said, getting up and stumbling slightly, and falling into Davie’s lap.

“Steady there, I don’t mind the lap dance, but…”

I let out a laugh. Feeling the effects of the beer taking over, I disappeared down the bus and went into the bathroom. After I came out I could hear the sound of Chase’s voice. It was loud, and then it was followed by Mia’s voice.

Getting closer to the door I pressed my ear against it and listened.

“The sound recorder said there was nothing wrong with the mic. You better not be lying. I swear, Mia. If you screw this up for her, I will never forgive you.”

“Settle down, Chase. Have a drink. Get into my bed.”

“I’m done warming your bed.”

With that I heard his footsteps getting closer to the door. I stepped back and pretended to be coming out of the bathroom when he swung wide the door. He didn’t say anything to me. He just went to where his bed was, got in and closed the curtain behind him.

Luke had returned to our living area. It was just two leather couches either side of the bus, facing each other.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Luke asked.

“Make it look so easy.”

He chuckled to himself. “It’s not easy. We all have our way of handling the jitters, I just use alcohol.”

He took out a small metal bottle from inside his jacket, untwisted the cap and took a swig.

“All the time?”

“Most of the time. For some it’s drugs. For me it’s Jack Daniel’s.”

“That’s a one-way ticket to rehab,” I replied.

“Maybe. But for now it gets me through those sticky moments.” Then he asked me, “So what happened out there?”

He kicked his feet up on the couch and leaned back, tossing his cowboy hat off.

I hesitated before I replied. “It was like having tunnel vision. It wasn’t because I was standing in front of all those people. All I could see was one person. This one person was looking at me as though I was a joke. I guess for a moment, I wondered the same thing. What was I doing there? I’m not anyone.”

“Hold up, girl, before you go down that road. You have every right to be there singing. What? Just because you haven’t got ten albums behind you. Awards coming out the ying yang? You think they care about that? Everyone who has ever become someone started at the bottom and worked their way up. They put in the long hours. Did the time. Had doubts over whether or not they were cut out for it. But they didn’t give up. That’s the key.”

“Nice pep talk. Quiet peppy.”

He snorted. “Sullivan, if you weren’t so damn hot, I would bend you over my knee and spank you.” He paused. “Actually, come to think of it, because you’re hot I wouldn’t mind doing it.”

I tossed my hat at him and he cracked up laughing.

Chase didn’t show his face for the rest of that night. Neither did Mia. The road crew were still up at one in the morning when I came out to get a glass of water. How they managed to do it was beyond me. Drink, get a few hours’ sleep and then lug all that equipment around, plus provide security.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Just on the outskirts of Birmingham, Alabama. Yee-hah!” Ernie said.

I wandered back to my bed but met Chase coming out of the bathroom. Now what you need to know is there is plenty of space on a tour bus. But when you stand shoulder to shoulder in the pathway that runs down the middle near the bathroom, it’s like being stuck in a sardine can. I brushed up against him and he took a hold of my arm.

“It will get better. I promise.”

That was all he said. Then he returned to his bed.