Rock Star's Ballad (White Mist Series Book 3) (9 page)

When the kids finished eating, they broke into teams for soccer. The men became referees and called fouls. Johnny held Missy’s youngest daughter in his arms. Demi watched him talk to the toddler who grinned at him, not immune to his charm even at this age. Kids naturally gravitated towards Johnny’s manic personality. Demi’s heart clenched and she looked away. Her sisters adored Johnny and brought him up constantly since they listened to his CDs. Teddy turned into a clone of her father, just as she knew he would. Braxton wanted to
be
Johnny, much to her father’s displeasure. It struck her that the rock star playing with the kids was a far cry from the man who tossed seductive looks into the audience last night.
 

The women poured her a glass of wine and Demi took it gladly. She was so tired. She carried
The Ashton Hotel
on her shoulders for a year, worked herself into the ground and still lost it. All of that seemed very far away now as she sat in Valerie’s backyard surrounded by kids and friendly locals. For the first time in a long time, Demi relaxed. She’d known these people less than two days and they didn’t treat her like an outsider, they acted like she was a part of them. How had that happened? She felt so disconnected, even from Barry who loved her through the night. She felt like an empty shell of a person, her insides broken and hollowed out. Right now, in a small town in Montana, she began to feel again.
 

Kids came over to her as if they’d known her all their lives. They ate from her plate or leaned against her as they talked. Demi couldn’t remember their names, the best she could do was remember who they belonged to. It was clear that Holly and Max’s kids were the naughtiest out of the group. Max laughed when his son’s got rough until Holly stepped in. She smacked the boys and then Max, which resulted in a fair soccer game. At some point, Regan’s son Chase crawled into her lap and fell asleep against her chest. She cuddled him close and it brought back so many sweet memories of her siblings that she shook her head when Brooks and Regan offered to take him away.
 

It hit her when she and Missy were separating the leftovers that it was time to figure out where she was going to sleep. She had a new wardrobe in Regan’s trunk and no idea where the nearest hotel was.
Was
there a hotel in White Mist? Demi tried to catch Regan’s attention, but she was laughing with Uncle Al. To pass the time, Demi washed dishes, even though Valerie told her not to. Missy gave her an approving look.
 

“Regan Lee might be hell on heels, but she has a good heart,” Missy said quietly. “She has a good business mind, she’s loyal and she’ll help you out. You have the same look in your eyes that Regan Lee did when she came home. You can heal here. If I can help, you give me a call.”

Missy handed Demi a business card, hugged her and gathered up her kids. Demi stared after her, running her thumb thoughtfully over the sleek business card. Holly came over to give her a fist bump and ordered her kids to hug her, which the older one did with a disgusted look on his face. The younger one did it with a smile and a great deal of enthusiasm. Regan’s brother kissed her cheek and Trey did the same when he and Gwen left. Demi was trying to make her way towards Regan when her arm was caught in a firm grip.
 

“Let’s go,” Johnny said.
 

Demi looked from him to his hand on her arm. “Excuse me?”

“You’re coming home with me.”

She tried to pull away without making a scene. “Uh, no, I’m not.”

“Uh, yeah, you are. I have your clothes in my SUV.”

That got her attention. “Why are my clothes in your car?”

“Because I put them there. Let’s go.”

She didn’t want to have a fight in front of everyone and there was no way she was going to let him keep her new wardrobe hostage. Johnny didn’t release her until she was belted into the passenger seat of a red SUV with tinted windows.
 

“Can you take me to the nearest hotel?”

Johnny pulled out of Valerie’s driveway and honked at everyone as he drove away. “You’re not staying at a hotel.”

“Johnny,” she said deliberately, trying to keep calm. “I’m tired.”

“Well, that’s good news because I’m taking you home.”
 

“I am
not
sleeping in your house!”

“You slept fine last night.”

“That’s not the point. You can’t—” She blinked in surprise when he pulled into a garage. “You live, like, five minutes away from Valerie.”

“Yup,” he said and hopped out of the SUV.

Before she realized what was happening, he opened the trunk and grabbed her shopping bags.
 

“You can leave the bags here. I’m going to call a taxi and check into a hotel.”

Johnny ignored her and hauled the bags into the house.
 

“Johnny!”
 

He walked upstairs and she charged after him. Johnny tossed the bags into the master bedroom closet and faced her with a challenging look on his face.

“You’re acting crazy! What’s the matter with you?” she demanded.
 

“What do you think, Demi?”
 

“I have no idea! We haven’t talked for years and now you’re forcing me to sleep in your bed!”

“You tried to get away from me last night.”

She was taken aback by the accusation in his voice. “What did you expect me to do? Run to you with open arms?”

Johnny’s mouth curved. “That would’ve been nice. Yes, you should’ve done that instead of run from me.”
 

“I didn’t think you’d remembered me,” she said acidly and tried to go around him to get her things. She was exasperated when he barred her way into the closet.
 

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think you’d show up at one of my shows.”

“I didn’t go for you, I went for the music,” she retorted.

His brows rose. “Which
I
create.”

“It was an impulse… one I regret.”
She thought she was strong enough to see him in the flesh and now… Now, she wasn’t so sure. Maybe thirteen years
wasn’t
long enough to get over Johnny Bentley. Her stomach rocked with stress. She was devastated the first time he got married. Wrecked the second time and completely numb after the third. No matter what her heart said, the Johnny in front of her wasn’t
her
Johnny—he never had been. She didn’t know him at all.
 

Johnny’s eyes searched hers. “What happened to you, Demi?”

“I grew up. You helped with that. You taught me a great lesson, one I’ll never forget.” She was mortified by the catch in her voice.
 

Johnny showed no reaction to her accusation. In a calm voice he said, “You need a place to stay and I have this house. I spend most of my time in the recording studio. Regan lives several houses down and she’s picking you up here tomorrow for work.”
 

She clenched her hands into fists at her sides. “I want to go to a hotel!”

Johnny shook his head slowly. “You made the decision to stay, Demi. That means you have to deal with me.”

“I didn’t decide to stay for
you
, I’m staying because I like Regan, the locals and the town!”

“That’s good, so do I. But, there’s something you don’t understand about White Mist,” he said genially.
 

“What’s that?”

He said in a conspiratorial whisper, “It’s
really
small.”

She pursed her lips to stop them from curving. “I noticed,” she drawled.
 

“No matter how much you want to avoid someone, it’s nearly impossible
so
…” he shrugged, “we have to settle our history.”

“I don’t
want
—” she began hotly and he held up a hand.
 

“I fucked up big time with you, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought of you everyday. How can I forget you when most of my songs are about you?
Regret
went platinum. You must know I wrote it for you.”

Demi’s stomach turned to ice. She suspected so, but having it confirmed made her hands ball at her sides. Johnny wrote his songs and his thoughts, feelings and experiences ended up in the lyrics. His fans knew everything about him and Johnny never bothered to keep his personal life separate from the professional. Case in point, bringing her up on stage and using her during the show.
 

“I’ve been with countless women. Most of them, I don’t remember their names or faces,” he said.

Great idea, she thought, remind me why I should stay the hell away from you. Johnny’s gaze was so intense, she felt as if he could read her soul and it frightened her. That complete focus drew her in as a teen and it was ten times worse now. How the hell could she still be so drawn to him after their disastrous history?

“My wives, the other women, they were companions, distractions,” he stated with such simple honesty that she believed him. He spread his arms wide. “No one’s ever measured up to you. I gambled in front of the world last night by bringing you up on stage and now I have you where I want you. I’m going to take the shot fate’s handed me. I want you back.”
 

Demi didn’t say a thing for a long minute. There was a strange ringing in her ears and she felt strangely lightheaded. When her mind cleared, self-preservation took over and she turned to walk out of the bedroom. Johnny blocked her way and she stopped and averted her eyes, as if that would save her from being drawn to him again.
 

“Demi, I swear, I’m not playing a game. I’m dead serious.”

Demi spat in temptation’s face by meeting his eyes head on. “You don’t know what you want, Johnny.”

His eyes moved over her face, paused on her lips and then came back to her eyes. “I do. I want the same thing I wanted when I was eighteen. She’s standing right in front of me.”
   

Demi stiffened her shaking legs. “No, we’re not doing this! This is all a huge mistake. I shouldn’t be here, with you. If it wasn’t for
that
song I wouldn’t have…” She trailed off.
 

“I wrote that song for your eighteenth birthday, which was last week,” Johnny said and when she didn’t respond added, “It’s also the anniversary of the accident.”

Demi drew back as if he struck her. The raw pain in her eyes made him flinch.

“You know?” she asked in a dead voice. She suspected he knew from his comment this morning about healing. He would have to be blind to miss the media coverage they did on the plane crash that claimed her family, every single one.
 

Johnny nodded. “How did you handle it, Demi?”

“I didn’t.”

Demi wasn’t sure where the tears came from, but they were suddenly filling her eyes and dripping down her cheeks. Grief engulfed her in a tidal wave of pain so strong, she didn’t have time to combat it. For the past year, she put a cap on her sorrow, shoving it down and refusing to acknowledge it.
The only way she got through was by not being idle. This was doable since she took over The Ashton Hotel, but now
the emotions she kept under lock and key wouldn’t be pushed aside a second longer.
 

“Demi.” Arms wrapped around her and she shoved him away.
 

“No, don’t touch me!
” she gasped.

The arms came back, refusing to be denied. “I loved them too.”

Memories of Johnny and her siblings unfurled in her mind. Her brothers crawling over Johnny, her sisters pleading for him to sing. The first time her mother presented Johnny with a birthday cake, Demi would never forget the pure joy on his face.
His super model mother couldn’t be bothered to do such trivial things such as bake a cake or be present during his performances or graduation.
Demi shoved the cruel memories away and focused on the here and now.

“You loved them like how you loved me?” Demi spat and pounded on his chest with her fists. “You don’t know what love is! When you lose someone you love, it rips your heart out and-and—” The staggering loss hit her all over again. The pain was so breathtaking that her head dropped forward and rested at the hollow of Johnny’s throat. She gripped his arms for balance because she felt as if everything around her was spinning out of control. “When you lose someone you love y-you’re never the same.”
 

“I know,” Johnny said gently.
 

“No, you don’t know!” Tears cascaded down her cheeks in a steady stream. “A freak accident. Something to do with the engine… The plane crashed and they’re just gone. ”
 

“I couldn’t come to the funeral, I was in the UK,” Johnny said.
 

“Wouldn’t expect you to come,” she panted as she tried to control the need to rage, to fight, to scream. She couldn’t believe that the one person around to witness her breakdown was Johnny. Fate was so cruel.
 

Johnny’s hand cupped the back of her neck. It was such an intimate hold that she tried to get away from him, but he wouldn’t release her.
 

“I loved your mom and the kids. I even like your dad because he’s so protective of you. If I had a daughter, I’d guard her with a shotgun too.”

Memories of the time her father comforted her after she went after Johnny tortured her. “Don’t,” she choked.
 

“I used to send your mom a dozen white roses every year on her birthday.”

She focused on his words instead of the pain. “Those were from you?”

“Yes,
she’s the only mother I ever had.”

Demi’s body began to tremble. Johnny let out a cooing sound and before she knew what he was about,
Johnny picked her up as if she weighed nothing. She tried to get away from him, but he wouldn’t be dissuaded. He settled on the bed with her bottom on his lap. She pushed off of his chest and looked up, intending to tell him she didn’t want to be here, that she could take care of herself. Their eyes met and clung. She caught the scent of peppermints and past and present collided. The charisma he had as a teen was magnified to an alarming degree. Demi felt as if she were drowning.