Rock the Heart (8 page)

I tuck the cover around me and close my eyes. Right before I drift into sleep after an exhausting day, Noel says, “I’m sorry about tonight, Lane. I shouldn’t allow myself to get so jealous. You’re a hard one to let go.”

My heart pounds, and I’m suddenly fully awake. There are a million things I can say to him. But if I’m not careful, one sentence can either piss him off or turn him on and neither of those would be a good thing. 

We lay there in silence, but I can’t bring myself to say anything. Noel eventually takes the hint and lets out a heavy sigh before he turns over and doesn’t speak a single word.

My cell rings on the small night stand, and my eyes pop open. Relief engulfs me when I roll over and see the other half of the bed empty. I grab the phone and answer it as I sit up and run my fingers through my tangled bed-head.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Aubrey says in a sing-song voice.  

“What time is it?” I question and flop back on my pillow. The motions of the moving bus are steady and very sleep inducing. Must be why I slept so late.

She laughs into the phone. “Someone had a late night? It’s nearly noon. Tell me, any action with that sexy rocker yet?”

“Ugh. You would not believe what that asshole said to me last night.”

I rehash all the grimy details of how it seems like Noel is a crazy lunatic only interested in getting into my pants. Of course, I leave out the details about how amazingly hot he is when he becomes so suggestive because knowing Aubrey, she’ll encourage me to take him up on the offers because she knows it’s been a while for me in that department. 

“So tomorrow my flight comes into Dallas at two thirty. I’m renting a car so I can drive myself over to the hotel while I wait on you to get there.”

I sigh. “You don’t know how excited I’ll be to see a friendly face.”

“Pssssssssssh. Whatever. After that story you just told me, sounds like you’ve been seeing plenty of ‘friendly’ faces between Noel, Riff, and that sexy British dude.”

“You mean Striker?”

She giggles. “I need to Google him, even his name sounds yummy.” I hear Aubrey tapping on the keys of the desktop computer in our little apartment and I suddenly feel a little homesick. “Ah, there we go. Let me just…Oh yeah, he’s fucking edible. No bag needed for that one’s head. That’s for sure.”

I shake my head. “I doubt he’ll ever call me. Noel chased him off before I could make a good impression.”

“Noel’s just jealo—Oh-my-god, Lanie have you searched your own name in the last twenty-four hours?”

“Um, no. Does anyone really look themselves up that often? Why?”

“Go get your laptop and search your name, and then call me back.”

“Wait. Aubrey. Why?”

“Just go do it.”

After I promise to call her right back, I hop off the bed and change into a pair of jeans and black t-shirt. I grab my computer from the cabinet and boot it up. I’m surprised to find there’s a Big Bertha Wi-Fi signal. After a failed attempt to connect, I make my way out to the front of the bus, laptop in hand, where all the guys are up eating breakfast. 

“What’s popping, Lanie?” Trip asks before he takes a huge bite of cereal. 

Tyke and Riff are locked into some battle on the game system attached to the flat screen TV in the sitting room. Noel sits to the side watching them go at it, ignoring that I’m in the room. 

“Trip, what’s the Wi-Fi password for Big Bertha?”

He wipes his chin with the sleeve of his shirt and grins. “It’s kinkysexgod69.”

I roll my eyes. “What is it with you guys and your obsession with sex?”

I sit my laptop on the counter next to Trip’s bowl and type in the password. Once it’s connected, I type my name into the search engine. A couple milliseconds tick by and my name accompanied by pictures pop up in the results. I click on a picture, and it redirects me to a celebrity gossip site where Noel and I are the prime story with a headline reading: Black Falcon Front Man Caught with Secret Lover. My eyes widen as I take in the picture with Noel holding my hand in the airport. 

“Shit,” Trips says next to me.

Noel looks up from the game. “What?”

“There’s pictures of the two of you on the internet. They are calling our girl Lanie here, your secret lover.”

Noel practically leaps from his seat and comes behind Trip and I to check out the screen. “Fuck!" he growls. 

I flinch. Am I really that embarrassing to be seen with? How can pretend that he’s so into me one minute, and then be pissed cameras have caught us holding hands the next? “What’s your problem? It’s a harmless picture. Who cares? We both know it isn’t true.”

He paces in the kitchen a few seconds and then darts up to the front of the bus. Noel doesn’t say another word to me. Instead, he rushes past me and into the other room to retrieve his cell phone, and then plops down in the seat next to the driver. Big Bertha takes the next exit and pulls into a truck stop. 

I watch as Noel shoves his hands through his hair as he waits by the door for the bus to fully stop. 

He’s acting like a complete fucking lunatic. 

The rest of the guys hop off the bus and then start towards the convenience store. The second I step off the bus I glance around. Noel’s at the back of the bus talking on his cell. Whoever he’s talking with is obviously arguing with him. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but the wild gestures his arms are doing tells me he’s defending himself. 

He takes a breath and his shoulders slump before closing his eyes. Whatever the fight was over, he now looks relieved. Curiosity wins out, and I take another couple steps toward him. Noel notices me and straightens himself as I approach. 

Before I can hear more than him say goodbye to the other person on the line, he snaps, “How long have you been there?”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t eaves dropping.” Okay, so maybe that isn’t exactly the truth, but I didn’t really hear anything either. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You rushed out of there so quickly.”

Noel stuffs his phone into his back pocket. “Everything’s fine—just business—nothing that concerns you.” 

I flinch at his snippy tone. “Sorry. I was just…concerned.”

He sighs and drags his fingers through his messy brown hair. “Fuck! I really feel like all I do is fuck things up when it comes to you. I shouldn’t snap at you. It’s not your fault I have bad shit in my life. I really don’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

This is the second time in less than a day Noel has apologized to me. I really don’t get how he can be so forward and overly sexual towards me, then flip the switch and tell me he’s sorry for hurting me. He’s like a man possessed by craziness.

“So…” He closes the space between us and holds out his arms for a hug. “Friends, again?”

I shrug and wrap my arms around his waist. “Friends.”

It actually feels good to get to this point. We should be able to be friends without all this weird tension between us. Two people who dated in high school should be able to look past that and have a healthy friendship. This is going to make working on the children’s literacy campaign so much easier. 

I rest my head against his chest, and he rubs my back. Noel holding me like this reminds me of when we were a couple and he was unbelievably sweet. I sigh and give him one final squeeze before I let this lingering hug between us get weird.

“Come on. I’ll buy you some of those sour-lemon candies you like so much.” He tugs my shirt. 

I grin. It’s funny the things people remember about another person. “Only if you eat some with me.”

He laughs and throws his arm around me as we start towards the store. “The thought alone of eating those things make me want to puke. I ate what—one hundred and fifty of those things in one sitting because you dared me?”

“It was four hundred and eighty-seven. The bet was five hundred remember? And you lost miserably.” I poke his stomach.

He grabs my hand and holds it against his chest over his heart. It’s a simple gesture, but a dangerous one. Something so sweet will wear down my willpower to resist him if he tries to tempt me into sleeping with him again. I know the Noel I use to love is in this sexy, bad-boy rocker somewhere.

I pull my hand away, and Noel gazes down at me with sad eyes. Desperate for a subject change I say, “My friend, Aubrey, is meeting up with us in Dallas tomorrow.”

“Is she the one that came with you to the show, when you…” His eyes dart away from mine. It’s like he doesn’t want to bring up the time I walked in on him with the two sluts back in Houston. 

Allowing him off the hook, I don’t even acknowledge his slip up. “Yeah. She’s from Texas, so she’s flying down to catch the show and driving to her parents place near Waco when we leave for the next city.”

He nods. “We’ll actually spend a couple days in Dallas. Our manager booked us all rooms so we can get off the bus for a bit.”

A smile creeps across my lips. “You think we’ll have time to drive home for a night? I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to see you.”

Noel stops in his tracks. “No. I promised myself I’d never go back there, not after the way Dad treated me.”

“But your mom…don’t you miss her?”

He sighs. “Of course I do.”

“Well, then come home with me.”

He raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean, come home with you?”

I turn my hands over and shrug. “My parents would love to have you over. We can drive down, invite your mom to dinner at my mom's house, and we can stay the night. It’d give you a chance to spend time with your mom without having to face your father.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would. You’re my oldest friend.”

Noel throws his arm around me and pulls me in close to his side just like old times, and I’m amazed how natural it feels.

We pull into Dallas a little after four o’clock the next day. The bus rounds the corner towards the American Airlines Center concert hall. This is yet another monstrously huge venue Black Falcon will no doubt fill tomorrow night. Security guards open the ‘authorized personal only’ gate and allow the bus to pass through. The driver turns the bus smoothly into the back lot area and then cuts the engine. 

“Whoo hoo! Two days of freedom, boys!” Trip yells as he slaps a baseball cap over his jet black hair. “Now to find me a little honey while I’m here.”

Tyke laughs at his brother as he looks out the bus window. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”

I follow his line of sight. A mass of fans wait outside with cameras and ‘We love you’ signs in hand. Most of them are women, but there are a few guys in the mix as well. The majority seems harmless, but a handful of women stick out in their scantily clad clothing that screams ‘fuck me!’ Trip and Tyke point out a few and chat amongst themselves calling dibs on certain women. 

Riff joins them and gives the group a careful once over, like he’s deciding on which dessert to pick.

I roll my eyes. 

Men.

My cell phone rings, and I yank it from my back pocket. “I was just getting ready to call you.”

“Good thing because I’m already here,” Aubrey says into the phone. “I think this is the bus your on.”

I shove in-between the gawking men and scan the crowd. Aubrey stands to the side with the phone against her ear wearing a pair of low rise cut off shorts and a black tank top. She’s showing just enough stomach for the guys to fight over which one has dibs on the red head. “I see you! I’m coming out.”

I take the steps two at a time and shove open the bus door. Aubrey spots me immediately and pushes past security to grab me up in a tight hug. “I’ve been waiting for freaking ever.” She releases me and shoves her auburn curls over her shoulder. “It’s good to see you too. I’ve missed you.”

I grab her hand. “Come on. I want you to meet the guys before they all take off on their two day reprieve.” 

Aubrey giggles with excitement and allows me to pull her onto the bus. All three guys immediately stop talking when we step inside and turn toward us. The curiosity burns in their eyes as I pull Aubrey beside me. “Guys, this is my closest friend, Aubrey. Aubrey this is Black Falcon. This is Trip”—I point to him—“he’s the drummer. And this is his twin brother, Tyke—also the bass player. And last but not least—”

“Riff.” He takes a step and shakes Aubrey’s hand as he introduces himself. 

His eyes glue to hers and she giggles again. I have never seen her so unhitched and nervous. Both of her cheeks are turning pink as they shake hands for an extra lengthy time period. The twins seem to notice it too. Trip slaps Riff on the back. “Later man.” Then he and Tyke go out to round up other girls.

I clear my throat, and Aubrey lets go of Riff’s hand. “So, um, Aubrey, what do you want to do today?”

She finally pulls her eyes away from Riff and says, “Doesn’t matter.”

“How about we all hang out,” Riff says. 

Heavy boots clomp onto the kitchen floor. Noel’s showered and looking down right sexy in tight jeans and black t-shirt. The material clings to his chest and shows off his body perfectly. I bite my lip, and Aubrey elbows me.

Damn. I glance away quickly and hook some loose hair behind my ear. Heat creeps up my neck and can’t make myself look at her. I know, without a doubt, she’s got that smug I-know-you-like-him look on her face.    

“What’s going on?” Noel asks as he grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“Noel this is my friend, Aubrey. The one I was telling you about.”

He gives her a nod and then points his attention to Riff, who hasn’t taken his eyes off my friend since she set foot on this bus. “You’re going out with these two?”

Riff blinks hard a couple times, like he’s breaking out of trance. “Yeah, I mean, if they are cool with that.”

Before I can object, Aubrey says, “Absolutely.”

Riff grins at her again and then puts on his sunglasses while he heads for the bus door. “Awesome. Let’s get this show on the road.”

I grab Aubrey’s arm before she follows him out like a little puppy. “What the hell are you doing?”

She shrugs. “He’s hot and seems into me. What’s the problem?”

There really isn’t one. I just don’t want her to get crushed by an asshole like Riff. “Nothing, I guess. Just be cautious. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Aubrey leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’m a big girl, Lanie. I’m just here to have a good time, not get married. I know what I’m doing.” 

I throw my arms around her neck and hug her. “Of course, have a good time.”

She grins before she follows Riff out the door. I watch through the bus window as she meets up with him, and he holds out his hand to her like they’ve known each other for years and head towards the Escalade. 

“Huh? Well that was unexpected,” Noel says and then gulps down the rest of his water.

“Tell me about it.”

The four of us pile into the SUV and go to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Riff and Aubrey sit next to each other, a little too close for my liking, the entire time. Noel seems unfazed to the new pair as he sits back in the booth with his arms stretched out along the back. We fall into easy conversation, telling Riff and Aubrey stories about some of the fun we had when were in school together. 

“Sounds like you two were quite the pair back then,” Aubrey says after a sip of her margarita.

I smile at Noel. “Yeah, we were great friends back in the day.”

Noel cocks his head to the side and gazes down at me with his blue eyes. “Friend, huh? Ouch. That’s all I was to you?”

I smack his shoulder, not hard enough to really hurt, though. “You know what I mean.”

“Damn.” He rubs his right bicep and then leans his back against the booth. “See you still pack a hell of a punch. Haven’t seen you throw a shot like that since the time you fought Jessica Cranbee over a Barbie doll back in fourth grade. Remember that?”

I laugh as rest my elbows on the table and take a drink of my Margarita. “Yeah. That girl was always such a bitch, wasn’t she?”

“She was.” He bumps my shoulder with his. “But she never messed with you again after that. I think you were the only girl in our class she didn’t scare the shit out of.” 

I smile at Noel. “Yeah, I don’t get that. Why people have to be mean.” The words are practically my size seven shoes shoved square in my mouth. Who am I to talk about being mean to people? Maybe it’s not the right time to bring this up, but after six of these margaritas I can’t stop myself from saying, “Look, Noel, the way we ended things…I’m sorry.”

He reaches out and takes a strand of my brown hair between his fingers and twirls it. “Water under the bridge, Lane. Let’s not ruin a perfect night with something we can’t change.”

By the time we’re on our eighth round of margaritas, I’m feeling pretty good, even my toes are tingling. We don’t bring up the topic of our break-up anymore. We just continue to drink and tell funny stories. The tension between Noel and Riff even seems lighter for some reason, too. 

After we finish gorging ourselves with drinks and food, Noel pays the bill.  Once I’m standing outside, the liquor hits hard. I stumble in the parking lot as we head towards the SUV. 

Noel wraps his arms around me and pulls me against me so I don’t topple over. “Easy there, lightweight. You alright?”

This time I embrace the closeness between us and throw my arms around his waist. “I’m good. Just starting to feel a little tired…and drunk.”

Noel chuckles. “That’s what happens when you stand up after hammering, what, nine margaritas? Shit hits you fast.”

I shake my head. “Eight,” I correct.

Aubrey and Riff slide into the middle row together, which means Noel and I have to share a seat. Mike shuts us inside and I giggle as Noel and I climb into the third row. “Does he always go everywhere with you?”

“Who? Mike?” 

I nod, and my head suddenly feels very heavy and Noel’s shoulder beside me looks awfully comfortable. It’s crossing the line, but so is drinking to the point of intoxication with a business client. The conscious part of my brain screams at me not to do it, but the drunken tired side of me tells me to go for it. I curl into him and lay my head half on his chest and shoulder. 

He sighs contently and wraps his arm around me, while resting his cheek on the top of my head. 

It actually feels pretty nice wrapped in his embrace again. 

He strokes my hair a couple times, and I close my eyes at the softness of his touch. “Yeah, I suppose he does. Mike’s a good guy. Maybe even my best friend. We spend a lot of time together.”

I snuggle in tighter and lay my arm across his lap. “That’s nice.”

I’m completely comfortable lying against Noel’s toned chest. It’s probably the margaritas talking, but I feel the urge to kiss him. We’ve had such a good time all night. It almost feels like the right thing to do because I want him to know how much fun I had with this sweet version of him. Physical show of emotion was the only thing Noel every really understood clearly. 

I sigh and try to block out the thought. We aren’t kids anymore. Kissing him while I’m tipsy will lead to other things. I know my body well enough that when it comes to Noel Falcon, it has a hard time resisting his touch.

Aubrey and Riff lean into each other and kiss right in front of us. Noel’s fingers stop running through my hair and slide down my back. They stop at the hem of shirt and trace the skin on the small of my back. My breath catches, and his chest moves a little quicker. Seeing something so intimate while so close to him causes a fire to ignite in my stomach. 

I bring my hand up to the neck of his shirt and run my finger along the exposed flesh right above it. Fingers on my back slip inside the waist band of my jeans, and his other hand finds my chin and tips it up towards him. Noels hooded eyes stare into mine, and something in me stirs. For the first time since being here, I think about giving into his attempt to kiss me. His thumb traces my bottom lip, and I close my eyes. 

Noel leans into me and presses his lips to my forehead.

I slump against him a little, and he chuckles before he whispers, “I want to kiss you, but I know once I start, I won’t be able to control myself.” 

I swallow, knowing he’s right, and in this perfect moment, I think I just might let him do all the things he’s been threatening to do to my body. 

 I start to pull away, but Noel doesn’t loosen his hold. I turn my head and watch my friend make-out with the rock star in front of me. I sure hope she knows what she’s doing.

We arrive back at the bus and all I can think about is going to bed and getting some distance between Noel and I before things get out of hand. Liquor still courses through my veins, and I know I won’t make proper judgment calls around him. I trudge back into the bedroom and search for a t-shirt to change into. 

Aubrey follows me into the room. “Aren’t you going over to the hotel with the rest of the band?”

I shake my head. “I can’t afford a room over there, and I’m tired. All I can think about is sleeping.”

She studies me. “Sleeping? After the way you were flirting with Noel tonight, you want to go to sleep?”

I shrug and pretend that Noel and I didn’t just have a moment in the backseat. “Yes? What’s so wrong with that?”

She bites her lip. “You two have this whole connection thing vibing between you. Aren’t you the least big curious as to what it can turn into?”

“No. This is business, Aubrey. It can’t be anything more than that between us. You know that.”

She hugs me. “I love you, Lanie, but some times you need to loosen up and say fuck the rules. A job isn’t everything. Live a little, you know.”

I laugh and try to divert her attention off me. “Like you are with Riff?”

Aubrey blushes. “I can’t help it. I’ve always thought he was the cutest in this band. Gah! He’s a really good kisser, too.”

I plug my ears. “I so don’t need to hear these details.”

She pulls my hands down and laughs. “Trust me, by this time tomorrow I’ll have more details about Riff than how he kisses.”

I smack her arm. “Go then, and slut around, if you must.”

She winks at me. “Oh, that’s a definite must.”

I roll my eyes as she darts out the door and into what will be a night she’ll brag about for months. 

Great.

I change as quickly as I can and turn to get into bed just as Noel opens the door without knocking. I scowl at him for the intrusion. “I could’ve been naked.”

He grins. “I was sort of hoping for that.”

“Men,” I grumble as I slide into the bed.

He chuckles as he closes the door behind him and pulls off his shirt. I turn my back to him to give him some privacy to change. The springs groan as he gets into bed next to me and shuts off the lights. 

“Aren’t you going to the hotel tonight?”

“Wasn’t planning on it. Besides I was kind of hoping you wanted to cuddle with me some more.”

I roll over and face him. Even in the dark, his magnetism doesn’t escape me. I fight the urge to trace my fingertips along his stubbly jaw to find out what it feels like. If I did that, it’d be all over. The boundaries I’ve established with him will go right out the window, yet, I can’t force myself to turn away.