Rocked in Pieces (7 page)

Soon my limbs began to tire and my brain calmed itself as I started to feel sleepy. But I still kept swimming for a while, enjoying myself too much to stop.

Finally, I gave in. My legs were weak and my arms beginning to complain as I finally came up for air and started to climb the ladder. What I saw took my breath away.

Matthew was stretched out on the bench next to my robe, eyes shut. He was barefoot, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a white t-shirt.

I fell back into the water, gasping. The sound got his attention and he sat up, rubbing his face.

“I thought you were gonna stay in there all night.”

I blinked and pushed my wet hair out of my eyes. “I didn’t see you there.”

“I know. I’ve been watching you for,” he looked down at his bare wrist and shrugged. “Quite a while.”

A smile stretched across my face as the surprise of finding him here wore off. “Why?”

“You’re a good swimmer.”

“Thanks.”

He stood up and walked over to the edge of the pool. “It was hypnotic, watching you swim back and forth.”

“Oh. But that doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”

“I wanted to talk to you.” He smiled. “I know, I know. I never talk, why start now, right?”

I shook my head, careful to keep most of my body underwater. It was silly and vain, but I didn’t want him to see me in my swimsuit. It had long wide stripes of color and I thought it made my belly look like a beach ball. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

He looked into my eyes. “No, I bet you weren’t. You don’t seem to mind that I’m kinda quiet.”

“Most people talk too much. Myself included. It’s nice to meet someone who doesn’t feel the need to prattle on endlessly about every bullshit though that crossed their mind.”

He grinned. “Oh, I do that too, just not endlessly.”

I laughed. “That counts as an improvement.”

He raked his hands through his tousled hair and my fingers itched to smooth it down for him.

“So… how did you know where to find me?”

“I didn’t.” He sat down, dangling his feet in the water. “I was just wandering around and found my way here. When I saw it was you, I decided to wait.”

“Oh. What did you want to talk about?”

“Tomorrow. Or, I guess later today, actually.”

My heart sank. “You mean the interview?”

“Yeah.”

I felt tension returning to my body, starting from my shoulders down. “What about it?”

Matthew leaned back on his hands, giving me a great view of his chest and arms before he spoke. “The publicists are really hyped about it. I guess the videos or whatever are helping with album and ticket sales. A couple of cities are trying to add second dates to the tour.”

I nodded. “So you guys are getting pressure to cooperate more.”

“Pretty much.”

“It’s easier for everyone if we can just do the damn thing and not argue.” I crossed my arms over my chest, shivering as my skin dried and cooled. “I’m not trying to piss anyone off.”

“Ellie, I know that. We all know that. And we’re going to try. That’s what I wanted to tell you. We get it now. This is part of our job and we’re gonna do it. But there’s one thing you need to know.”

“What?” I found myself drifting closer as he sat up and looked at me again.

“We’ve been really fucked up, but things are getting better. We’re putting ourselves back together the only way we know how – one show at a time. So just… don’t take it personally, okay? You’re not the enemy.”

“That’s nice to hear, but do the others feel the same way?”

“They’re getting there.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Even Rick?”

Matthew busted out laughing, the sound echoing all around us. “No, he really hates you. A lot. But he’ll get over it.”

“Okay.” I felt strangely shy. “Thanks for telling me the truth. It helps.”

He leaned forward. “I haven’t told you the whole truth.”

My eyes widened. “About what? The guys?”

“No. About why I’m here. I sort of lied.”

“Oh.” We were close enough that I could reach out and pull him into the water if I wanted. “Why else
are
you here?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see is your face. I called your room but you weren’t in it. So I took a shot that you might be here.”

My heart thundered in my chest. “Why?”

He pushed forward and slid into the pool, clothes and all. “You know why.”

I backed up a step. “What are you doing?”

His hot gaze burned right through me. “I don’t want to leave this city without touching you again. I’ve wanted to kiss you from the second we met. Anything can happen any time and life is too short. It might sound crazy but I don’t care. If you tell me to leave I will and I’ll never bother you again, but I… I had to try.”

I shook my head, stunned. “We’re in a pool. And I look… ugh.”

He strode closer, but didn’t touch me. “You look beautiful. Wet, dry, whatever. You’re amazing.”

This was too much. Too perfect. Too far beyond anything I’d even dreamed of, and my brain rejected it.

“Why are you saying these things?”

Now he did touch me, sliding one strong hand over my cheek. “You know about the accident. And what happened after. Everyone does. But it… it changed me. I’m tired of living in the background, always being the friend, the other one, the afterthought.”

“You’re not that.”

“No, not to you. And it means so much.” He chuckled. “God, I sound like Joe. But don’t think this is all about souls connecting, Ellie. At the end of the day, I think you’re incredibly sexy. And I just really want to kiss you.”

With that, I changed my mind. It wasn’t too perfect. It was exactly the right amount of perfect. I covered his hand with mine and smiled. “So kiss me.”

He smiled, the expression lighting up his face, and came closer. His arms closed around me and his mouth descended on mine. His lips were soft as he kissed me lightly, gently, like a question.

I answered it by sinking against him, wrapping my arms around his waist, gripping the sodden shirt. My lips parted as his fingers touched my bare back and his tongue slipped inside my mouth.

The kiss started sweet and tentative as we each learned what the other liked, but quickly grew deeper and hungrier. Matthew’s hands roamed my back and sides, pulling me closer and closer to him.

Lost in desire and the insanity of the moment I forgot about everything. I finally had company in my silent world and it was wonderful. Every swipe of his tongue and nibble of his teeth. Each tiny noise of pleasure and shifting motion spoke volumes to me, more than any words ever could. This kiss, this endless and amazing kiss was a conversation on the deepest level.

Eventually Matthew dragged his mouth away, panting, and stared into my eyes.

I laughed shakily. “Is that what you had in mind?”

He didn’t smile, but amusement joined the arousal in his eyes. “It’s a good start.”

“Start?”

He took my hand in his and led me over to the edge of the pool. Disappointed, I reached out for the ladder, but he stopped me. “Wait.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand what you want.”

He grinned. “I want you.” His hand skimmed down my arm. “Come upstairs with me?”

My mouth was opening to agree before my brain even registered the offer. This was a bad idea. One kiss in the pool was fine. Amazing. Incredible. But if I went with him, I knew what would happen. What I wanted to happen. What every cell in my body was begging for. It was too much too soon. We’d just met and were going to be stuck together potentially for months. I had to use my brain. I couldn’t let my libido make my decisions. Not now when everything was going so well.

“No,” I finally said. “I can’t.”

Matthew’s face fell.

I grabbed his hand and kissed him hard on the lips. “Not tonight. Not yet. Okay?”

He nodded and climbed out of the pool, holding out a hand to help me after him.

I took it, not even caring about how much I must have looked like a fat, wet dog. I shrugged into my robe and squeezed as much moisture as possible out of my hair before looking up and gasping.

Matthew had removed his wet shirt, and I got an up close view of his body. Skin glistening like it had in the sauna, calling up pleasant memories. But this time I didn’t have to just watch. I could touch. So I did.

I stepped up to him and ran my hands over his chest, memorizing every long, lean muscle under his soft skin. And the best part was, he just stood there, letting me play. No complaints about my teasing even though I could see his erection straining against the wet fabric of his shorts.

My fingers slowly caressed his ribs where I swore I could see the remnants of a bruise. And then over downy line of hair under his navel that disappeared in his waistband.

His chest was heaving and his hands curled into loose fists against his legs.

I looked into his eyes and rose up on my toes to kiss him on the lips softly. “Rain check?”

“Anytime.” He smoothed down my hair and stepped back. “Sweet dreams, Ellie.”

And sweet they were, filled with his face, his lips, his hands.

In the morning I packed and dressed quickly, after oversleeping for reasons that kept me smiling, even as I rushed. Steven and I rode in a car together over to the venue for what my schedule said was the “Grand Sendoff.” Whatever that meant. It was yet another publicity event, where fans of the tour could wave goodbye and take pictures while the performers on the Bright Dark Dreams tour boarded their buses and left for the next city.

We shot a little of the silly scene, but I was concentrating on what would happen next. My first real chance to talk to the members of Dream Defiled in depth. There was a ton more pressure to do a good job now that I knew so many people would be watching the videos. And I was a little worried I might tackle Matthew and molest him on camera.

I was still giggling at that idea when Red, the band’s security chief escorted us onto the bus. They’d rearranged things a bit to make for a better set, and the lighting setup was complete. Steven and I went right to work prepping to make sure we were ready when the guys were.

It took a while, but eventually we were all loaded on, and moving down the highway. Once everyone settled into place and everyone who wouldn’t be part of the interview went into the back, I ran through the plan one more time and told Steven to start rolling.

While I rattled off an intro, I pulled up a file on my phone. It had taken a full twenty-four hours to get the fan-submitted list of questions approved, and I wanted to get through as many as possible.

I started with some easy stuff about the shows so far and the upcoming cities. Joe took the lead, of course, with the others chiming in seamlessly when they wanted to. For a band who had been so close to splitting up recently, they could really turn it on when they wanted to.

“Okay, great. Here’s a question from Lynn in Florida. It’s for Joe. She wants to know if your fiancée minds you being on the road so long.”

Joe laughed. “Well, Liss knows what I do. She actually came on the road with us for a while when we were first dating. Now she’s in school, but she flies out as often as possible, and I go visit her when we get breaks. So yeah, it’s hard to be apart, but she’s an amazing girl, so she’s understanding.”

“Can I take that as a confirmation that you are in fact engaged?”

He shrugged. “It’s no secret.”

“Any wedding plans yet?”

“Nah, we’re not in a hurry. I gotta be in one place for longer than two days before I can get married, right?”

“I guess so.” I looked over the other members of the band, making sure I didn’t stare at Matthew too long. “What about the rest of you, looking forward to attending that wedding?”

Dex laughed. “Absolutely. I’ve been planning the stag night – uh, bachelor party for weeks.”

I grinned at the camera. “Uh-oh, that sounds like trouble.”

Joe nodded. “Yeah, don’t think you’ll be invited to film that, Ellie.”

We all laughed. This was going way better than I’d hoped. I was impressed with his candor and completely charmed. We made it through question after question as the miles flew by outside the window. Steven circled us repeatedly, checking on all the stationary cameras he’d set, fiddling with this and that.

“Okay, Joe. Let’s go back to you and the future. You’re engaged, some of the others are in serious relationships. Where do you see Dream Defiled in a few years? Will you still be touring for most of the year? Slowing down, starting families?”

He chuckled and tapped his chin thoughtfully for a second. “Honestly, I have no idea. Hopefully we’ll still be making music people want to listen to. Any more than that, I try not to worry about. What you have to understand is, we never dreamed of being that mature rock group, you know? Wives and kids on the bus. Drinking tea and shit, changing diapers. Hell, I don’t think Rick and Dex ever thought they’d live to see our first album come out, let alone see our lives change like this. But things happen. People come into your life and make it something more than it was before. As big as this tour and our careers are, there’s more to life. So yeah, I don’t know. We’ll figure it out together. That much I do know.”

“Wow, great. Thanks.” I paused. “Dex, Rick, Matthew, how do you feel about romance and the rock band? Good, bad, ugly? Are your outside lives a threat to the band, or just part of what makes you a strong group?”

They all remained quiet for a long moment.

“What did I say?”

Joe explained. “Nothing. It’s just, it’s something that used to worry our manager, Ryan.”

Dex piped up. “He hated every girl who spent more than five minutes with us.”

“Not really,” Joe replied. “Ryan didn’t hate the girls. He hated anything that got in the way of what he wanted for us. What we wanted. He was our guiding light. And a guard dog, in a way. Protecting us from losing sight of the mission. I don’t want to get into the Yoko thing, which was bullshit. But there’s that fear. That anything new could ruin it all. Funny if you think about it. What almost ended us wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend.”

I froze, realizing he’d just admitted what me and my colleagues had reported breathlessly – that there almost was no Dream Defiled.