Rockstar's Girl (Decoy Series book 2) (6 page)

"Please."

Her voice sounds so dreamy and full of need. I stand with my hands still around Kendal and she giggles. The sound is music to my fucking ears. I let her slide down my body and she takes my hand to lead me up the stairs. I'm a little uncomfortable when we walk by Finley's room. Kendal turns and rolls her eyes at me.

"Honestly Jax, do you think parents stop having sex when they have kids?"

She quietly laughs as she walks into her bedroom and sits on the edge of her bed. I can't have sex with her yet can I? This is Kendal and I want to take care of her. Not take advantage, but the way she's grinning at me and beckoning with her finger for me to come, it's hard for me to fight my urges. I step into her room and close the door. I stand in front of her and push her down so she's lying with her back on the bed. Her hair fans out over her head. I lean over her with my hands either side of her face.

"I'm not having sex with you."

Her eyes widen.

"I'm not turning you down baby. I am going to make you come. But I won't be putting my dick into your pussy until you tell me that you love me."

I see she takes in a huge breath of air. Her eyes water a little so I give her a kiss. I'm fighting my fucking hardest to hold back, but I need to do this.

"I love you Kendal. Always have, I've never stopped loving you."

We stare at each other for a while and a tear runs down the side of Kendal's face. I wipe it away with my thumb but when I take my hand away she catches hold of me. She doesn't take her eyes away when she kisses my palm. Kendal reaches up and pulls me down on top of her.

~Kendal~

Fucking hell
,
did Jax just say he loves me?

Sure Sophie told me he does
,
but it's different when he actually tells me to my face. I'm too scared to say it back and I don't know why. I need him close
,
so I pull him down closer to me. I need him as close as he can be
–
but he's already told me he won't put his delicious cock in me. That's what I'm craving for, as soon as I saw him
,
I craved for him. My body remembers what he can do to me and wants him.

Jax rips my jeans off me and looks between my legs with pure hunger. I know we're moving fast but I've fucking fantasized about this man for four years. I need him and I do love him but I can't make myself say the words yet.

Jax starts by leaning over me and licking my pierced nipple. He plays with my other with his skilled fingers. I think Jax likes my nipple piercing because as he bites and sucks on it he growls and I feel his hardness pressed against my bare thigh.

He kisses down the valley in between my breast and then on the top of my rib cage but then he groans and goes back to my pierced nipple.

"Fucking love this thing."

I feel like laughing at how right I am but I can't because Jax has removed his other hand away from my nipple and onto my wetness. I moan as quietly as I can and my hips rise to meet his touch.

Jax manages to remove his mouth from his favoured nipple and down my stomach.

Jax teases me over my thong with his tongue. He kisses the inside of my legs on either side, teasing me – so when he goes back to my thong – I gasp at the sweet sensation. I can't help myself from grinding against his face. I feel like applauding when Jax strips away the thong and throws it to the floor. His tongue feels like heaven when he glides from bottom to top. I dig my head into the mattress in great pleasure as his mouth destroys me deliciously. It's not long before that talented tongue of his nearly brings me to the edge of pleasure. I haven't had any sex or been touched by a man for so long. This feels so damn good it should be illegal.

"Jax."

I plead. I don't even care that my voice sounds so needy.

"Come Kendal."

I obey his deep husky command and fall apart against his mouth. When I open my eyes I see Jax smiling down at me with the stupid sexy charming smile. Jesus this man is gorgeous. 100% mans man ruggedness
,
but his face also has that beauty that makes your heart stutter. Well it does to mine anyway.

We face each other on my bed and Jax wraps his arms around me.

"I meant what I said."

"I know."

I feel guilty for not being able to say that I feel the same. I don't know what's keeping me back. Maybe when we have spent more time together I will be able to. This is still all a huge shock to the system. Jax strokes my hair and I feel like I've floated back in time. I feel my eyes getting heavy.

"Babe?"

I open my eyes to see Jax looking down at me again.

"It's getting late."

Oh
,
he's going. I slowly sit up and follow Jax downstairs. I feel really sad he's going, but its best if he does go. If Finley woke to find Jax in my bed he would think we were together and it would only confuse him. We get to the front door and he strokes my cheek. I really don't want him to go.

"I'm so happy to find you Kendal. You gave me the best present a man could get. You and Finley are my life now. Don't leave me again."

"I won't. I promise."

He gives me a goodbye kiss and cheekily pinches my nipple that leaves me begging for more. By the cheeky smile he flashes before he leaves to go to his car, he knows the effect he has on me. I watch his tight ass as he walks away.

When I get into bed I think about the possibility of maybe giving me and Jax another shot. Not yet though. It's too soon but I'm not going to lie, it’s going to be really hard to resist him, he’s only just left and my body is craving him, wanting a repeat of what he did tonight, wanting more.

Chapter 7

Two weeks later

These last two weeks have been heaven and hell. Watching Finley get to know Jax has made me unbelievably happy. They're amazing together and that old feeling of guilt creeps up when I watch them because seeing Finley now, makes me realize how much he actually did need Jax.

We haven't had another night like that steamy night two weeks ago. Which is complete torture for me. Jax will sometimes brush against me or he'll run his fingers along the back of my neck. Sometimes he smooths the back of his hand down my arms and places a hand on my knee under the table. When he says goodbye he will let his mouth linger against mine, after an innocent kiss he will whisper sweetness into my ear. He hasn't told me that he loves me again but he has let me know just how much he wants me, which is just as bad to my craving body.

I haven't heard from Harley since that awkward meeting with Jax. I don't know wether I'm glad or not. I've had a good friendship and then relationship with Harley but that situation outside work was just weird.

Today is my day off work and I'm so excited because the girls are all meeting together because Sophie came back from her honeymoon at the weekend. Sophie and Rhys came over the day after they came back because Rhys really wanted to meet Finley. They got on great.

We're meeting at Summer's. Ever since the first time we met there it has become our favourite place to meet and chat.

Today is Tuesday and that means it is Jax's day to take Finley to school, even though I have the day off.

We decided that Tuesdays and Thursdays are Jax's days to do the school run. He has also taken over from my parents when I'm at work and I'm unable to do the school run. My mum was was a little upset at that but I kindly reminded her that she's had four years with Finley where as Jax hasn't, because of me. Jax being the man he is didn't like to upset my parents so offered to arrange it whenever I got my work schedule. I'm happy to say that my parents met Jax and adore him. Well my dad likes him, my mum adores him. There's no awkwardness and it's like he's always been here with us.

This is Finley's last week of school before he finishes for the school summer holidays and that means it's his birthday next week! Finley's last birthdays have left me feeling down because the whole mess with Jax but I'm so excited for his birthday this year. Jax is here now so now all there is to worry about is making sure Finley doesn't eat too much cake. It will be just a happy day. No fake smiles anymore.

Mine and Jax's first little argument since me telling him about Finley was about Finley's birthday party. Finley wants his party at Crazykids, which is a huge indoor play area. It has everything you need, a soft play area complete with tunnels, slides, swings and ball pits. It even has a mini quad racing area. There is a private party area where the party guests can sit and have something to eat and drink and it has a little dance floor area if the kids want a little disco. It's a set price for three hours but Jax wasn't happy with that. He wanted to hire the whole place out and close it for the day so Finley had the whole place to himself. I couldn't allow him to do that, it would cost a fortune.

Jax being Jax wouldn't listen and didn't think twice about paying for Finley to have CrazyKids to himself for the entire day! I'm grateful because Finley will be amazed but I'm a little annoyed he didn't listen to me because it's a little overboard. At the same time I can't stay mad because he looks adorable at how pleased he is. Jax argues his case saying now Finley and his friends can do whatever they want without a time limit which is a bonus.

Jax lets himself in using his own key to the house that he said he needed to have. I didn't argue with him which I think surprised him. I did like the idea of Jax having a key to my house though.

I nearly choke on my cup of tea when I see Jax walk in through the door. He's wearing his dark blue jeans and his tight black shirt that clings to him. The short sleeves letting me see his tattoos down his arms, his messy black hair is hidden under his black flat peek hat. He hasn't shaved so he has the sexy dark shadow along his jaw and chin. What is this man doing to me?

Finley runs straight up to Jax when he hears him enter the house and my heart swells at the sight. After he's fussed over Finley he walks into the kitchen doorway and smiles at me.

"You're looking beautiful today Kendal."

I think I'm blushing and I hear Finley say.

"Mummy is beautiful."

"Yes she definitely is Finley."

I'm Definitely blushing now and I think my cheeks are as red as the jeans that I'm wearing. I don't look anything special today.

"You look good too Jax."

He smiles knowingly at me and I look away so I don't jump him in front of our son. We talk for the ten minutes he has to spare before he leaves. I walk them to the door and give Finley a kiss goodbye, Jax pauses by the door.

"Are you doing anything today?"

"Meeting the girls in half an hour."

"After?"

I have nothing planned which makes him smile that charming smile.

"You want to go and look around for Finley's birthday together?"

"Sure."

It sounds like a good idea and I agree to text him when I'm leaving the girls.

Maisy is getting out of her car as I pull up in the little car park next to Summer's. We walk in together and find Tanya, Jessica and Sophie all sat at our usual booth. As soon as I've sat my bottom onto the seat Sophie jumps straight in.

"So, how is everything with Jax going?"

She smiles a wicked smile and I grumble.

"Hell."

All the girls frown at me because I haven't told them what happened between me and Jax. If I want to explain I'm going to have to tell them.

"A couple of weeks ago, after Jax had put Finley to bed. We sort of hooked up."

I watch as all of their perfect eyebrows lift. The waitress takes our orders and as soon as she's gone Tanya turns to face me.

"Spill."

I sigh loudly.

"Yeah. Define 'hooking up' to us."

Sophie uses her fingers to quote her words.

"OK. So we had a couple of drinks and Jax started to kiss me which quickly turned into dry humping. My top came off and we moved to my bedroom where we finished."

My words came out in a hushed rush. I don't know why I'm feeling embarrassed telling the girls. I've never had trouble telling them before. Maisy giggles.

"You're going to have to be a little clearer Kendal."

"What did you two do when you went into your room?"

Jessica asks.

"We kissed some more and he went down on me."

I confess.

"So you didn't have sex?"

Tanya asks and I shake my head no.

"He told me he's not going to have sex with me until I confess that I love him."

They all let their mouths hang open before Maisy says.

"He said that?"

"That's so sweet."

Jessica's voice sounds dreamy but Tanya's shaking her head.

"Kendal, that's not hooking up."

Sophie frowns at her.

"Yes it is."

Jessica and Maisy nod in agreement. Tanya just shrugs it off like she doesn't care. Something's up with her. Jessica waits until the waitress leaves after placing our orders on the table.

"Have you told him how you feel?"

Tanya scoffs at her.

"Of course she hasn't, otherwise she wouldn't say she's in hell would she?"

All the girls frown at her this time along with me. Something is definitely eating at Tanya. She's not usually this snappy. Sophie looks at me.

"Why haven't you?"

"I don't know."

"But you do love Jax?"

I nod my yes and Jessica places her hand over mine that's on the table.

"What else did he say?"

"He told me that he loves me."

I leave out all the rest. Jax spoke those words to me so I want to keep them private.

"So why haven't you told him?"

I take my hand out from under hers and hang my head down.

"I don't know Jess."

I really don't know the answer. The girls take pity on me and leave that subject alone for now. Sophie fills us all in on her wonderful honeymoon. It sounds like absolute paradise and it sounds like she spent most of her time there naked.

"Oh Kendal, Finley has got me and Rhys broody for a baby."

I'm shocked. Not because I don't think they should because I think they would be great parents but because she said it out of nowhere.