Rodeo Bride (16 page)

She surged from the room. Millie was waiting with Toby in her arms. Colleen took Toby from her and kissed him.

Darn those tears. She looked through them at Dillon as she handed over the little boy.

Love him,
she wanted to say, but she knew he would. Love
me,
she wanted to say, but she knew he couldn’t.

“Goodbye, Dillon,” she whispered. “Thank you for sharing your child for a while.” Then she stumbled out of the house.

Hours later, she was back on the ranch. It had been her sanctuary for years, the place that had protected her and insulated her from all the bad things in the world.

This ranch was still her home, it was where she was needed, but…she didn’t need it to insulate her anymore. Dillon had pulled her out of herself. She’d thought things and said things and done things that wouldn’t have been possible weeks earlier. She no longer needed the crutch of a place to hide away from the world. What she needed was the man she loved.

But his life was full, even more full than it had been when he had married Lisa. He had a major company to run that took up most of his time, a child to raise, social engagements. And those women in Chicago he’d meet weren’t just novelty items. Some of them would know how to help him with his company. They would be more than convenient caretakers of his son. And they didn’t have obligations in a state many miles away, Colleen thought, as she rubbed Mr. Peepers down, said hello to the rest of her animals and prepared to throw herself into running the ranch again.

This place and these tasks had always brought her forgetfulness before. Now, she hoped the ranch could help her get some perspective on Dillon and turn him into simply an unexpectedly nice memory.

But for the first time in her life, the ranch felt hollow. And there were no answers or comfort to be had here.

H
E HAD
let her go. Why had he let her go? Dillon was still asking himself that question days later.

But he knew the answer. All of his life, whenever he started getting too close to people, they backed away. And Colleen had done more than back away from him. She had all but run from him.

“She’s just a person who’s nice to everyone, Toby,” he told his son. “We don’t have an exclusive right to her, you know.”

Toby was fussing with his fingers, chewing on his fist, looking generally unhappy and whimpering. The doctor had said he might be teething a bit early, but Dillon was sure that he missed Colleen.

“I’m still amazed that she confronted Lisa to keep her from taking you from me,” he said. “It was a desperation move that required multiple lies, and our Colleen is not a liar. No matter how tough she tries to be, how much she tries to conceal things, the truth shows through in her eyes. See?” he said, clicking through the photos of Colleen and him and Toby on the CD Millie had sent him with her thank-you note. “Look at her eyes when she’s looking at you. She loves you, buddy, and I can’t believe that Lisa didn’t see that.”

Toby started kicking and waving his arms when Colleen’s
face came on the screen. Maybe it was wrong to show him these pictures. He might think Colleen was really here.

But Dillon couldn’t tear his eyes away. And when a photo of him and Colleen together appeared, when he saw the expression in Colleen’s eyes as she turned to him…Dillon clicked through the photos again.

And again. And again, always coming back to that one. He looked into Colleen’s pretty eyes. His heart began to pound. Then he turned to his child. “I know you’re too young to understand, but you need to know this about your father. Every major decision I’ve ever made in my life since I’ve been an adult was based on logic. And only logic. I—I’m ashamed to say this, but I married your mother because I thought she’d make a good CEO’s wife, I went overseas because I knew I could do some good, I went looking for you when I didn’t even know if you were really mine, because…all right, that might not have been logic, but it didn’t concern a woman, either. I don’t lose my heart to women, Toby, and if I did, I’d ignore it. Logic tells me that following my heart ends up burning me every time. And being burned by Colleen would be much, much worse than being burned by any other woman. But…

“I just don’t care much about logic right now. I’m running on total emotion. Feel free to throw this up in my face some day, son, but we’re going to Montana. She might not want to see me. She might have taken up with that cowboy she kicked in the shins, the one who was falling all over her that night at Yvonne’s. She might want me to leave, but…I have to risk it. This time I don’t want to do the logical thing. I know she can’t leave there. I know my business is here. But…heck, I don’t know…at the very least we’re going to see her one more time. No, I’m going to do more than that. Even if she asks me to leave, I’m going to do one thing. One totally illogical and crazy thing I’ve been thinking about.

“And yeah, I’m doing this eyes open. The truth is that I can feel heartbreak headed my way already, but I can’t seem to back away. Let’s lay the groundwork. And then, let’s go find our cowgirl.”

Colleen had just finished brushing the coat of Arianne, a pretty little black pony. She was washing the dust and dirt off herself when Harve drove up in his big Suburban with two other trucks following him.

Confused, Colleen tilted her head. Then, the passenger door opened, and her heart became a bass drum, thundering through her entire body.
Careful. Careful,
she told herself.

“Dillon, why on earth are you here?” she asked. “And Harve?”

“I’m just delivering him and the kid and all this stuff,” Harve said, taking the baby from the big SUV and heading up to the house. The men from the other trucks started unloading lumber.

The two strangers didn’t have to ask where it went. They already knew. Two weeks ago they had shown up, given Colleen a note from Dillon saying that by way of thanks he was building her bunkhouse for the ranch camp. And no, she didn’t have any choice in the matter. He needed to do this.

She’d been grateful, but even sadder. Seeing something he was building for her and knowing she’d never see him again had sent her spirits plummeting.

But here he was. And she could barely breathe. “Dillon…” she began, but she didn’t get any further. He pulled her right into his arms and kissed her. Hard. Then he kissed her again. Slowly.

“That will have to keep me satisfied for now,” he said. “Even though it’s not nearly enough.”

“Are you…not staying?”

He stared at her, long and hard, his blue eyes bluer than
water, bluer than her bluest bit of glass. And hotter than…something so hot she couldn’t think of a word. She just plain old couldn’t think at all with him looking at her that way.

“I’m staying,” he said. “All the forces of nature couldn’t keep me from staying. Only you could make me leave. If you didn’t want me here, I…”

“I want you here,” she said, afraid of what he would say.

“I was prepared to beg.”

Tears started to fill her eyes. She blinked them away. “Dillon…”

He shook his head. “I have something to do before I can talk.”

Then he kissed her again and marched toward the lumber. He put on a tool belt, took his tools and began to construct a wall. He didn’t look at her. He just worked, swinging his hammer, cutting the lumber, pounding the nails. He began to build her dream for her.

But hours later when he was still out there, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Millie, give me some iced tea. The man is building my dream. The least I can do is bring him something to drink.”

“Absolutely the least. Right, pumpkin?” Millie asked Toby, who was in his glory, surrounded and pampered by the women of the Applegate.

But for once Colleen didn’t stop to listen to Toby. With glass in hand, she marched out to where Dillon worked. She moved right up next to him. He was shirtless. He was sweaty. She had never seen anything she wanted so much.

When she moved, he saw her there. “You shouldn’t stand so close,” he said, and she instantly felt chagrined. He wasn’t feeling what she was feeling. “I didn’t hear you coming. I might have accidentally hurt you, and that would kill me, Colleen.”

“I was careful,” she said, watching as he took his T-shirt and dried himself off. It was all she could do to keep from asking him if he would kiss her again. Her heart…hurt to be
here with him, because the building seemed to be going up quickly. That comment about staying? He’d meant staying to build the bunkhouse, she knew. Soon, he would be gone again. How was she going to handle losing him twice?

She wasn’t. She was going to be a total wreck, but he was doing this wonderful thing for her, and she hadn’t even said one nice thing about it, hadn’t even paid that much attention to the structure he was building with his own hands. And all for her. Colleen kicked herself for her insensitivity.

She handed him the tea. “May I look?” she asked, stepping up onto what would eventually become the threshold of the doorway.

He held up his hand and said, “Wait,” but she had spotted something, and nothing was going to stop her now. She moved into the still roofless structure. The room was all golden wood, the scent of raw pine filling her nostrils, but what had drawn her inward was the wood itself. Sturdy and strong, the walls rose before her, the studs straight and precise. And on every stud, on every flat panel of wood, there was a message: Dillon Farraday loves Colleen Applegate; Dillon adores Colleen; You’re the woman of my heart and always will be; You’re my soul; With love, to the very best woman in Bright Creek.

“You weren’t supposed to see all of this until I was done. These were just rough scribbles. I was trying to find the right words.”

“The right ones?” she asked, dazed, her heart so full she couldn’t think straight.

“I wanted it to be perfect. You—everyone takes you for granted. No one does or says what they should be doing or saying. The people of this town, your parents, that jerk of a guy who didn’t know what he had when he had you…even me…we take and take from you and no one gives the right things.

“And you…Colleen, you forgive us. You even were forgiv
ing Lisa. I could see that you were, and…that cowboy who treated you mean…you let him off with barely an apology. As for me…I let you go. I let you go when every cell in my body was screaming at me to beg you not to. I let you go because I was a coward, because I was afraid that you wouldn’t love me back, but that shouldn’t have mattered. I should have at least told you how much you mean to me, because you deserve to at least know that—”

He never got to say the words. Colleen launched herself against his bare chest, right against his heart. “You amazing, wonderful man. Did you think I wouldn’t love you? I had to bite back tears all the way home so your pilot wouldn’t tell you that I cried.”

Dillon swore. “I made you cry?”

She shook her head vehemently. “
I
made me cry by falling in love with a man I couldn’t have. I love you so much, Dillon, and I have for a long time.”

He plunged his fingers into her hair, kissed her lips. “I was being so darn logical,” he told her. “Not telling you I cared because I knew you didn’t want to fall in love and I knew you were only with me because of Toby. I knew you couldn’t care and had to be here, not with me.”

“And
I
knew you had to be in Chicago, not with me.”

He smiled against her hair. “It’s a big, mobile world today. I can do a lot of work from a distance.”

“And I have enough people working here and other friends in town willing to help that I don’t have to be here all the time. The ranch isn’t the same without you here, and I don’t need to hide here anymore, but I would like to be here some of the time.”

“As much as you need.”

She rose on her toes and kissed him again.

“And this building, we’ll paint over the words, of course,”
he said. “I want it to be your perfect dream bunkhouse for those girls from the city you want to help.”

Colleen smiled up at him. “I don’t want you to paint over the words. Maybe I’ll get you to build me another one and I’ll keep this one as a haven for you and me. I’ve got a great bed we can put in here and a new sofa sleeper some wonderful man bought for me.”

“It better not have been Rob,” he teased.

“Oh, this man’s much better than Rob,” she promised. “I’ve heard via the grapevine that the man that I’m talking about got his ex-wife to sign over custody to him, but he promised her that she would have visiting rights and she’s even thinking of getting to know her little boy a bit. A man like that who puts his child’s needs ahead of his own is a good man.”

“You know you’ll always be his real mother.”

A tear slipped down Colleen’s cheek. Dillon kissed it away. He got down on one knee.

“Dillon, get up,” she said, tugging at him.

“No. I want this to be special. I want you to remember this day and I want to remember it, too. Marry me, Colleen. Marry
us
, me and Toby. Be my wife. Be his mother. Be my love forever.”

She took his carpenter’s pencil and walked over to the wall.
I will,
she wrote.
I always will. I’ll be your love forever. Be mine.

“On this ranch, in the city, in the country, in a high-rise…everywhere. I’ll love you always and everywhere.” And he sealed his promise with another kiss.

“Even if I wear red cowgirl boots underneath my wedding dress?” she teased.

“Oh, I’m counting on that. I’m dreaming of it.” He kissed her again and her heart turned to flame.

The sound of voices drifted to Colleen, and she and Dillon broke away and turned.

“What are you two doing?” Julie asked with a smile.

“I’m marrying Colleen,” Dillon said.

“Harve, I know you’ve been around a lot lately, but now it’s official,” Colleen added. “The Applegate is no longer a nomen zone. Dillon changed all that.”

“Good,” Gretchen said, pulling out her camera. “Now if you two wouldn’t mind kissing again, I want a picture to send out. Jace just e-mailed Millie. He and all your friends in Chicago want to know what’s happening.”

“What’s happening is the best day of my life,” Dillon said with a laugh.

“And much as we love all of you, Harve included, we’d like a little privacy right now,” Colleen added. “No more pictures. And…close the door on your way out, will you?”

“We didn’t see a thing,” Millie said, closing an imaginary door. “You two just keep kissing.”

So they did.