Rodeo Bride (3 page)

Colleen took a step backward away from Dillon. It wasn’t far enough. She still felt locked in that blue gaze.

One more step.

He lowered his gaze slightly, turned down the intensity. “So, he’s happy?”

Ah, back in safe territory. She managed a small smile as she turned back and began moving toward the room again. “Come see. He’s especially cheerful and cuddly when he first wakes up. As long as he wakes up on his own timetable, that is.”

She stepped through the doorway and Dillon came up beside her. Toby was on his stomach, and as soon as he saw Colleen his crying turned to a soulful whimpering. His gaze slipped over to Dillon, and a look of distress came over his face.

Dillon sucked in a visible breath. Colleen felt for him. A man’s first meeting with his child should be a wondrous thing, not a sad one.

“He’s scared of me.”

“He hasn’t seen many men, and you’re a rather large one. You have a deeper voice. You might need to soften it and speak more quietly at first to keep from startling him.”

Toby was visibly upset now.

“I’ve made him cry more. You should pick him up.”

“Ordinarily I would,” she agreed, “but right now we need
to soothe him without upsetting him, and if I pick him up and then turn him over to you, he’ll howl for sure.”

“What should I do then? I don’t want to hurt him or scare him more than he is.”

Colleen didn’t really know. She loved babies. She particularly loved
this
baby. Still, she ran on pure instinct most of the time the same way she did with her horses or other animals. She had always had terrible instincts where men were concerned; awful luck. She’d made very bad decisions or had others’ bad choices thrust on her, but this was one decision she couldn’t afford to muck up. Despite the fact that Dillon was going to take Toby away from her soon, she couldn’t sacrifice the child in a lame attempt to make the man retreat.

“Stay close to me,” she told Dillon. “Toby’s used to me, and he’s…well, he’s very young. Maybe if he associates you with me, an extension of sorts, he’ll accept you more quickly.”

“Will that work?”

“Maybe.”

She heard what sounded like a low curse and looked to her side.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll have to train myself not to do that. I’ve been living the life of a soldier too long.”

Colleen nodded. She couldn’t begin to imagine what his life had been like, what kind of hell he had been living in when his leg had been damaged so badly. And she didn’t want to. She was doing all this for Toby, she told herself. Not for Dillon.

But as she moved toward the crib, she slowed enough so that Dillon could stay with her without lurching too much. Reaching the crib, she turned to Dillon. “I’m going to soothe him a bit. Just stay close, speak quietly and don’t make any sudden movements.”

Dillon didn’t answer. His gaze was locked on his child.

She reached down and stroked her thumb across Toby’s
cheeks, smoothing away the tears that were rolling down his tiny face. “It’s all right, sweetheart,” she said. “This is your daddy. He just wants to meet you.”

Quietly, quietly, she spoke, she caressed, she slowly felt Toby begin to relax. He stopped crying.

“All right, you touch him now,” she told Dillon. “Gently.”

And suddenly she was very aware of how close she and Dillon were standing. His warmth was up against her. She breathed in, and the scent of his aftershave filled her senses, pungent and male and…her hand trembled slightly.

Dillon reached out and placed his big hand next to hers. Toby was small, and Dillon’s thumb brushed against her fingers.

Colleen felt suddenly dizzy. Every nerve ending in her body snapped to attention. She swallowed.

“I’m going to let go now,” she whispered, turning to her left. She looked up and found her lips only a breath away from Dillon’s.

Don’t feel. Don’t even dare to think of him as anyone who could ever be important to you,
she ordered herself. Men had brought her nothing but pain. Her father who had taken risks and had died suddenly, breaking her heart. Her stepfather and stepbrother who had verbally abused and taunted her, making her life a misery. The man who had pretended to love her, but had really loved her land and had left her for a wealthier woman.

She’d been caught by surprise when each of those relationships had bitten her, but with Dillon, she already knew he was too great a risk. Allowing herself to feel anything, even simple lust, was just setting herself up for disaster. She couldn’t face that kind of crippling disappointment again.

Slowly, Colleen forced herself to breathe, to enforce control over her reactions.

She tried a simple, shaky smile.

“I’m ready,” Dillon said.

Colleen blinked, then realized that he was referring to flying solo with Toby.

She lifted her hand off the baby’s warm back. When she glanced down, he was staring at her and Dillon with those big blue solemn eyes. Quietly considering the situation.

The baby shifted his attention to Dillon.

His lower lip quivered. He let out a cry.

“Oh, Toby,” she said, then automatically turned to Dillon to explain that things would get better soon.

But Dillon wasn’t paying attention. He automatically reached down and lifted the little bundle into his arms, curving Toby into his big body.

“I’ve got you, slugger,” he said. “And I won’t ever hurt you. I won’t let you down or leave you. I won’t let anyone harm you. Ever.” His words were a low, quiet whisper. He stared into those blue eyes, cupping the baby close. “You’re mine, Toby,” he said. “We’re father and son. We’re going to be buddies and make our own little world, just you and me.”

On and on he went, that deep, soothing baritone whispering promises, bits of nothing. It didn’t matter, because the baby was reacting to the secure hold Dillon had on him and the hypnotic tone of his voice. Slowly, Toby stilled, quieted.

“Are we good, buddy?” Dillon asked.

As if he understood the question, Toby let out a watery coo.

Dillon looked over the baby’s head straight into Colleen’s eyes. His smile was brilliant, gorgeous and oh so sexy. “You’re one heck of a teacher, Colleen,” he said.

The smile went right through her, and her body reacted as if she were on a thrill ride. Out of control, her heart flipped right up into her throat, sending pleasure through her even though she knew there would eventually be a sudden drop that would bang her about. A man who could so easily produce a
reaction like that must have been one heck of a commander, one heck of a CEO, one very talented…

The word
lover
came to mind, but she blanked it out of her mind. That smile of his, that darn smile…

I am in so much trouble,
she thought. On so many levels.

D
ILLON
stepped out on the porch and found Colleen trying to open up a sleeper sofa that looked as if it hadn’t been used during the past century. The mechanical parts were putting up a good fight as Colleen tugged.

“I don’t mean to insult you,” Dillon said. “Given the fact that you run a ranch, you’re clearly capable and probably strong, too, but…”

He reached down and touched Colleen’s hand. Her skin was softer than he would have expected from a woman who did physical labor. Caught off guard, his body immediately reacted to that softness, that warmth, this woman. The fact that they were standing next to what was going to be his bed didn’t help the situation any. Irritated with himself, Dillon put the brakes on his reaction to the best of his ability.

Colleen must have had her mind elsewhere, because as his words faded away and as he moved up beside her, she let out a tiny gasp and let go of the metal handle, backing up a step. Good. He didn’t want to continue to be that aware of her. He definitely didn’t need to be thinking erotic thoughts about her.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, as he gave a tug on the handle and the bed pulled partway out.

“You’re not supposed to be doing that,” she said.

He looked over his shoulder at her as he lowered the legs of the bed to the ground. “Why?” he asked, turning to face her.

She hesitated. He knew that she was thinking of his cane and his injury. He hated that.

“You’re…you’re a guest,” she said.

“I’m an intruder.”

“That would only be true if I hadn’t agreed for you to stay, but I did. I’m totally in control of the situation.”

He smiled at that.

“What?”

“I don’t think either of us is in control of the situation. You had a baby dumped on you out of the blue. I had a wife who divorced me, then kept my child from me. Now you’ve, unexpectedly, been asked to house a man when it’s obvious that that’s not something you and your employees are used to.”

A small smile lifted her lips.

“What?” he asked.

“That was so polite the way you put that, the fact that we’re not used to having men around. As you could see from some of the women’s reactions, it’s not that we dislike men. At least not all men. We’ve just…all of us have had bad experiences, so we’re taking a break. Some for the short term and some for forever. Julie’s on the road to being engaged, so her break’s over and she’ll most likely be leaving soon. But for the most part, yes, this place has become a bit of a haven for women who need to drop out of the bride game.”

“I’ve never heard it called that.”

“Me either. I just made it up. But it’s true that even in this century, most women grow up thinking they’ll probably eventually get married.”

“You?”

Her smile seemed to freeze. “I had a little more unconventional upbringing. I lost my father early, my stepfather and
stepbrother were, to put it nicely, bullies without souls and my failed engagement…well, let’s just say that I have major trust issues and I won’t ever be a bride. I don’t want to be. So, I guess you were right, after all. I do steer clear of men.”

“Except for Toby.”

“He’s a baby.”

“He won’t always be a baby.”

“I know.” She sounded sad.

“You don’t want him to grow up?”

“Of course I do. I just—I won’t…he’s yours, Dillon. Not mine.”

She wouldn’t see him grow up.

“I’m sorry about that.” And he was. Genuinely. She cared about Toby, and already Dillon was inclined to think favorably of anyone who liked his child.

“It’s not your fault,” she told him. “You’ll take him away when you go, and if I were in your shoes…if he were mine, nothing would stop me from taking him home and claiming him. You shouldn’t even think about apologizing for that, just as I’m not going to apologize about the fact that I’ll miss him when he’s gone.”

“Good. I prefer honesty.” He’d had too little of that with Lisa. Or maybe he’d been the one lying, thinking they were a match when they were no more suited than he and Colleen Applegate were.

She nodded. “Well then, the honest truth is that this bed is probably
not
almost comfortable as I implied earlier. Looking at it now, I’d say you’re going to have a very restless night.”

He shrugged. His comfort was the least of his worries these days. “I assume you’ll want to lock the door, but will you call me if you need me in the night?”

For a second those dark eyes looked startled and sensually aware. That wouldn’t do. Not when he was already too aware
of her as a woman. His concentration from here on out had to be on Toby. Unlike his parents, he would put his child first. He would actually care. His choices would be made carefully, logically. No whisking women in and out of his life. No risking Toby getting attached to someone who was temporary. In fact, no more risking making the kind of mistakes he’d made with Lisa. Besides, Colleen definitely wasn’t the kind of woman who would welcome a drive-by fling. Apparently she wouldn’t welcome any kind of fling. A good thing.

“I won’t need to call you. I’ve been handling things for three months,” she argued.

“Yes. But I’m here now.”

For several seconds they stood there, toe-to-toe. It was obvious that she didn’t want to give up her control. Maybe it was because of those soulless men she’d known. No matter. He sympathized but he couldn’t compromise with his son.

“I’ll call you if there’s an emergency,” she said.

Which wasn’t exactly the same thing, but it would do. He and Colleen were going to be tangling with each other for the entire time he was here, Dillon thought.

It should have made him angry. Instead he was intrigued.

Watch it,
he told himself.
This woman is fire.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be attracted to fire, because when she turned to leave he had an insane urge to call her back.

Dillon lay on the sleeper sofa the next morning and scrubbed one hand through his hair. He was tense and uneasy in more ways than one and none of them had much to do with the bumpy metal frame of the sleeper sofa biting into his back.

No, sleeping on Colleen’s porch last night, he had discovered that the walls of the house were thin. There might be a door separating him from the building, but with the porch only covered by a screen, he’d been privy to a view of the windows.
Even with the extremely faint and undefined shadow showing through on her light-dimming window shade, he’d been able to tell that Colleen’s bedroom was just off to his left. He’d heard her humming and had been unable to think of anything except for the fact that she was getting ready for bed.

Heat had seared him as he’d tried to force himself to think about the business matters he needed to tend to when he had time tomorrow.

And when he’d awakened moments ago, his first instinct had been to look toward Colleen’s window. His first thought had been to wonder if she realized how her silhouette had fueled his fantasies.

Don’t be an idiot,
he told himself. The woman had a ranch to run, a baby to take care of, employees to supervise and a clueless man to train as a father. She had too many things on her plate to add seduction to the list. Besides, there wasn’t a coy bone in her body that he could tell, and with her ranch located off the beaten path, no one would, under ordinary circumstances, ever see anything at all. If she even thought about the possibility that he’d caught a glimpse of her body’s outline on the shade, he knew she’d be appalled. She was already uneasy about him being in the house. Those pretty caramel eyes of hers might spark amber when she looked at him, but if not for Toby, she would never have let him into her house at all. This ranch was clearly a hideout for wounded women and Colleen’s reasons for mistrusting men seemed to go deep.

He understood her need to steer clear of unwise entanglements. Caring for Toby, making sure he had free and clear custody of Toby and preserving his business for Toby was all Dillon could concern himself with from now on.

With that admission, he shoved himself up off the couch, slipped on his jeans, got up and knocked on the door.

When Colleen opened it, she was wearing a white fluffy
bathrobe that had seen better days but still reminded him that she had only recently been lying in bed. Her hair was slightly tousled as if some man had plunged his fingers into all those untamed curls. With that image, Dillon’s good intentions took a nosedive. Somehow he forced a good-morning smile to his lips.

She smiled back, even though he noticed that her hands were fidgeting with her belt.

“Where’s Toby?” he asked, trying to get his mind back on track.

“He’s a very early riser, so he’s already been up for a while and had his breakfast.”

Dillon frowned. “I should be doing that. Feeding him, I mean. I’ll have to get up earlier. I apologize.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Don’t apologize. It’s your first full day of daddyhood. Besides, I love being the one to give him his first meal of the day. He’s so alert and fun to watch. Not that I won’t willingly turn the task over to you. You have the right, and yes, you need to get used to his hours, but for today, it’s fine. Millie’s reading to him.”

Dillon lifted a brow. “Isn’t he a little young for books?”

She laughed, the sound deep and husky and delicious. “You say that as if he’s already graduated to sneaking the underwear sections of the Sunday ads. Babies like to be cuddled, and while they’re being cuddled, they especially like listening to you and feeling your voice as it rumbles up through your body. Add in the bright colors of a picture book and you’ve got a winning activity. Plus, Millie loves reading to him as much as I do. She has children but they’re all grown and none of them want to have kids.”

An odd, sad sensation slipped through Dillon. “I’m lucky that you and Millie were the ones to take him in. Not every woman would have cared for him the way the two of you have.” Including, apparently, Toby’s mother.

“I think most people, when faced with a child in need, grow to love that child at least a little.”

“That hasn’t been my experience.”

She blinked, and he realized that he had let something slip that he had never shared, because he wasn’t referring only to Lisa’s treatment of Toby but his own childhood experiences. Bad move. It was the kind of remark that seemed to require an explanation, but he wasn’t prepared to share more than he had already offered, so he merely shook his head, dismissing his hasty words.

Colleen looked troubled but she merely nodded. “You’ll probably want to spend as much time as possible with Toby today. I think just being with him and letting him get used to you will be enough for one day. You’re the first male in his life, so after you’ve had breakfast and taken a shower or whatever else you need to do, I’ll let Millie know that you’re on dad duty until nap time. She’ll step in if he needs his diaper changed. Later today will be soon enough to tackle the big stuff.”

“You think I can’t handle it yet?”

Her lips curved up in an entrancing smile. “You told me you’d slept in the mud, so I’m sure you can handle a little mess. I’m just not sure if Toby’s ready to be traumatized by a crooked diaper yet.”

Dillon couldn’t help smiling back at her. “Already criticizing my skills, Colleen?”

“Everyone needs practice. Have fun.” With that, she turned toward the back of the house. When she came back a few minutes later, Dillon was finishing his breakfast. He looked up.

Colleen was wearing blue jeans that weren’t exceptionally tight, but that emphasized the length of her legs and the curve of her hips. The cherry-red shirt tucked into the jeans fit where a shirt should fit a woman. She was wearing some sort of green polished glass on a black satin cord around her
neck, and he remembered seeing it yesterday, too. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of brightly colored polished glass in the house. Sun catchers and wind chimes hung here and there, the golds and reds and blues and greens turned warm by the light.

“I have to go into town for supplies,” she said, “but I’ll stop in before I head out onto the range again. Toby will go down in an hour or so. Then he’ll take another nap this afternoon, so if you have other things to do, that would be a good time to see to them.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure it out or I’ll ask Millie. Toby and I will be great. Everything’s fine.” Except for the fact that he had—again—noticed too many things about Colleen that he found attractive. What was wrong with him? He had no intention of getting into a long-term relationship with a woman again, so he needed to get this “problem” under control.

His phone rang, and Colleen gave him a wave as she headed for the door. Dillon looked down and wanted to swear. The call was from Lisa. She hadn’t called him since she’d asked for a divorce and even then she hadn’t called. He’d gotten the message in an e-mail. So why was she calling now?

Anger filled him. Lisa was one of those people who changed their minds about what to wear ten times and then spent all night worrying that they had made the wrong choice. Had she heard that he was coming to Montana to get Toby? How would she react to that? Would she change her mind and decide that
she
wanted the baby now?

By the time he’d decided that there was no point in speculating about anything at all about his ex-wife and never had been, the phone stopped ringing.

Ten seconds later, the phone in Colleen’s house began to ring. She had already stepped onto the porch and was just closing the door, but she turned around, came back inside and
looked at Dillon. Then she walked toward the phone and glanced at the number registered there.

Slowly, she raised her chin and looked into Dillon’s eyes. “It’s her,” she said. She didn’t have to say more.

“I realize that this is your house, but I just think you should know right now,” he said, “that I’m not letting her near Toby.”

Colleen frowned, those pretty brows drawing together. “You shouldn’t drag your child into a battle between you and your ex-wife.” Somehow, the way she said that made him think she had some experience of such things.