The night before had been an amazing revelation. Anna had no idea that by committing herself fully to the terrifying feelings she had for Jude she might discover a gift more powerful than she had imagined. She had loved Jude with a childish infatuation when she had been sixteen. Upon his return to England, it didn’t take long for her to realize that a long-buried tenderness still existed no matter how hard she fought to ignore it. And over the last weeks that tenderness had only spread deeper as she grew to admire him for the man he had become and to appreciate his company and conversation.
Making love with him last night had been the single most beautiful experience of her life.
Once Jude had fallen asleep, she’d stayed in his bed only long enough to ensure that every detail of the time spent in his arms would be seared forever into her memory. She’d silently studied the familiar contours of his face, the solid structure of his features, the detail of lines and shadows that shaped into expressions of frustration, joy and passion. Their passionate and inevitable joining was destined to change everything between them, and she had no idea what the next day might bring.
But during that private aftermath, Jude was still all and only hers.
Then she’d carefully and quietly slid from his bed and tiptoed from his room. She would have loved to be able to float along in her newfound joy and contentment, but she had to make some serious choices.
When Jude awoke, he would start questioning her with the harsh facts of reality. He would not allow her to escape his inquiries any longer.
She had gone back to her own bedroom, but she hadn’t slept.
Before the sun had even started to turn the sky to pale gray, Anna had been out in the stable readying her ride. Her sense of freedom as she raced down Rotten Row had been intensified by the sense of being so powerfully aware of her own happiness. And the feeling coursing through her with the strength of a thousand racing thoroughbreds was love.
Pure. Complete. Love.
She was going to tell Jude everything. It was such an obvious decision. No more ducking behind the secrets of the past. No more excuses for why Jude would never accept her. She had been a shameful coward for far too long, allowing Olivia’s threats to cow her, allowing her own fear of being rejected to convince her that her love must never be known. It was time to be fully honest with Jude as she should have been from the moment she realized her feelings for him. He needed to know the truth.
And if, after it all, he felt the need to confront Olivia, that was his right to do so, and Anna would face what would come after. But she would not sit by calmly as rumors were spread to ruin her business. She would fight back. She had friends now. She did not have to face the wicked wrath of her sister alone.
And if Jude could not return her feelings, she would fight him too. She didn’t exactly know how, but she would do all she could to convince him to give her a chance. To give their marriage a chance before deciding to end it forever.
With her mind made up, all Anna had wanted to do was rush back home. She imagined him still abed. She would slip silently into his room and slide alongside his naked body and kiss him awake. He may not even know she had been gone. For a moment, the temptation to return to him was strong enough to chase all else from her mind. Her body warmed and her sex ached and tingled with a new level of need as she thought of the pleasure Jude had coaxed from her in the night.
But she couldn’t go home. Not yet.
Forcibly pushing aside the sensual thoughts, Anna had to reinforce her commitment to her business. There was an important auction at Tattersalls she needed to attend. Her horses were as much a part of her as was her love for Jude. She would not sacrifice one for the other.
Besides, the time away might be necessary in order to allow her to think of her husband without the flush of lust warming her skin and distracting her from the more important purpose of resolving the barriers that still stood between them. Jude would be there when she returned. And if he was not, she thought with a smile of newfound confidence that felt right and empowering, she would find him.
The day had dragged on a lot longer than she had expected it to. While at Tattersalls, she had made the fortuitous acquaintance of Lord Winfrey, a man with a great reputation for having a critical eye for horseflesh and a limitless pocketbook when racing season came around. The man was notoriously long-winded, but eventually he had promised to come round to her stables in the near future to view her horseflesh. Anna had also acquired the perfect match for Charles. The mare was descended from a fine line and had complementary characteristics to those of the young stallion. It was an immeasurable success for her business to be sure, but it was nearly four o’clock by the time she got back to the house.
She was nervous about seeing Jude again, but she was determined to charge forward. She refused to allow any insecurities to stand between herself and the possibility of claiming a future of happiness with her husband. She had spent her entire youth being influenced by fear. And she had allowed the same to dictate too many of her actions and decisions with her husband in the recent weeks.
It was time to stop being such a ninny.
Anna went straight for the morning room. The personal sanctuary Jude had claimed for himself in her house. At this time of day, it was the most likely place to find him. The door was open and Anna entered slowly. The anticipation of seeing him again, which had been building throughout the day, caused her heart to gallop wildly. She stepped into the room and saw almost instantly that he wasn’t there. Disappointment dampened some of her excitement, but as she looked around, she noted that even in the few days since she had first peeked into the room more evidence of him had settled into the small space. More books and papers littered the makeshift desktop. A neckcloth was draped over the back of a chair. Candle wax had dripped from brass holders onto the surface of the mantle.
Anna smiled softly as she turned and left the room. Had she thought Jude was only a little untidy? Since she had always picked up after herself, her cleaning staff was on a rather relaxed schedule. She made a mental note to provide special instructions in regard to the morning room. A thrill swept through her at the realization of just how natural it felt to plan for him to remain indefinitely in her house. And in her life.
She went to check the breakfast room, then the dining room, her study and the almost completely unused music room. Feeling bold, she went up to his bedroom, but there was no evidence he had been there since rising that day. She even went back out to the stables to check and see if a horse was gone or if her carriage was in use. There was no sign Jude had left the house at all, but he was most definitely gone.
Re-entering the house, Anna stood in the hall, unsure of what she should do next. In her searching, she had begun to grow anxious. Though she had been quite confident he would be waiting to confront her upon her return, she’d also acknowledged the possibility that he might not be there. He had other responsibilities and commitments, just as she did.
But she couldn’t help but feel instinctively that something wasn’t right. If he had needed to leave on some errand or business, there would have been some obvious sign of his departure. But there wasn’t.
It was as if he had simply disappeared.
Old emotions erupted in her heart and a clenching fear akin to the panic she had last felt when she had been left on the steps of Silverly pierced her heart. Perhaps he was intentionally avoiding her. What if he had not experienced the same revelation that she had during their lovemaking? Now that he had finally gotten what he had wanted from her, the annulment and now also the pleasure of her body, had he fled as swiftly as that other time?
No
.
Anna clenched her fists at her sides and forcibly stopped her wayward thoughts from running wild. It was just that sort of defeatist thinking that had kept her from fighting for a future with Jude in the first place. Things had changed between them. This wasn’t like before.
So what did she do now?
Find him.
She turned stiffly to head upstairs. If she were going to be chasing all over London, she would need to change into something more appropriate. In the back of her mind, she wondered what type of outfit would be best suited to tracking down an errant husband. She might have found amusement in the situation if she weren’t starting to feel so damned heartsick.
When a knock sounded at the door, the strange sense of foreboding strengthened and a chill raced up her spine. It was as if the uncomfortable fear that had been growing within her suddenly had a focus. She stopped and sped back down the stairs. She was almost to the door when Hastings opened it to reveal a young unkept boy.
“Lady Blackbourne?” the child asked.
“Yes, that is I,” Anna answered as she stepped out onto the stoop. The boy stuffed a folded and crinkled scrap of paper in her hand and then turned and fled from sight.
Anna looked down at the paper in her fingers, stunned by the certainty that the note had something to do with Jude’s absence. She walked back into the house as she unfolded the note. She had to read it through several times before the full meaning of the words sunk in, and once they did she froze with disbelief, her heart tripping in sudden fear.
“Hastings! Randall!” Panic made her voice a near shriek.
The butler was at her side in an instant, the senior footman only a few steps behind him.
“Hastings,” she said with a deliberate calm she did not feel. “Did Lord Blackbourne have any visitors today?”
“Yes, my lady. The dowager countess was here this morning, and shortly after she left, Her Grace, the Duchess of Clavering arrived.”
At the mention of Olivia’s name, Anna’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach, but at the same time there was a bright spark of flashing relief. If Olivia was somehow behind this, then Jude may not be in as much danger as she initially thought. She seized upon the idea with fierce conviction, needing to believe in whatever possibility there might be that things were not as dire as they appeared.
“The duchess. When did she leave? It is very important you tell me specifically what happened.”
Hastings’s expression dropped dramatically.
“I am afraid I cannot answer that, my lady,” he answered. “Lord Blackbourne ordered a bath to be sent up to his room. He indicated that the visit from the duchess would be brief. I went to relay his request and became occupied with another issue that needed my attention. It was another hour or so before I came back above stairs, and by that time the duchess’s carriage was gone.”
“And was Lord Blackbourne still here?” Anna asked, her anxiety and her certainty in her sister’s involvement growing.
“I cannot be certain, my lady,” the butler answered in obvious distress, “but I do not believe so.”
Her gaze was keen as she turned to Randall and he quickly answered her unspoken question.
“I swear I didn’t see either of them pass through the hall, my lady.”
“Where did they meet? What room?”
“In the study.”
Anna turned around and ran to the study. She walked around the room, eyeing it carefully for anything amiss. She found nothing out of place until she came to the windows, and then she noticed one of them was unlocked.
She pushed open the large window casement and noted how easily someone could reach a waiting carriage with little fuss. But why on earth would Jude have gone with her? She must have cajoled him or tricked him somehow. The room showed no evidence of struggle or harm.
Anna tried to shake away the rising fear clogging her throat. She forced herself to think clearly on what she understood about the situation.
She glanced down at the note clutched tightly in her fist.
The scrawled words had been burned into her mind along with the shock of discovering Jude had been abducted. But there was something else about the note that pricked her consciousness.
She walked over to her desk and spread the wrinkled paper smooth. The words were blunt and to the point. They informed that Lord Blackbourne had been taken and was being held upon the payment of a ransom. The kidnappers were requesting a near fortune for his return and instructions were given to drop off the money in the middle of Mayfair tonight. The language was educated and the location of the drop alone suggested that the kidnapper could be of the upper classes.
She analyzed the wildly sloping script. The penmanship was sloppy and slanted to an almost illegible degree. But Anna studied it anyway. It was there, in the Y and the S, that Anna could see something of her sister’s elegant handwriting. But she couldn’t be positive. Olivia’s penmanship was typically so precise and even across the page. This writing was dashed off as if the writer were in a frantic rush and barely paying attention to how the words came onto the page. Which didn’t mean that her sister didn’t write it. But it did suggest that if she wrote it, she had been distressed at the time.
The small likeness to Olivia’s handwriting that Anna thought she detected could have been based on her own wishful perception. But there was still something about the note that struck her oddly. She turned the paper over, trying to figure out what she found so familiar. Then she saw it, a small red curving line just visible at the edge of where the paper had been ripped. Her finger traced the blood-red scroll mark she recognized as part of the design on the stationery her father only kept in his townhouse. The design was one of a kind, her father had created it himself and though the top edge of the paper had been torn away in an attempt to eliminate the identifying scrollwork, enough had been left behind for Anna to recognize.