Role Play (23 page)

Then
I realized she had stopped talking, but I was standing there caught by her eyes. After a moment, I smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re such a beautiful person, so strong and… luminescent. I’m getting distracted.”

I
ran a finger down her bare arm that felt like silk, and then lifted her hand in mine. I didn’t want to let go. She was fragrant and warm, and it was all I could do to keep from taking her in my arms.

“Why didn’t you text me?” Sierra asked quietly.

This was the moment—when I should come clean and admit I wasn’t rich or successful. That I was a liar.

But if
I confessed now, she wouldn’t let me keep touching her. And at this moment, touching her was the
only
thing that mattered.

“I saw how bad it was with your sister,”
I said. “I didn’t want to encourage you to keep following her around. I felt responsible for suggesting you go down there. I knew if you asked me, I’d do whatever you wanted.”

“I agree. I’m
not following Lola anymore.”

I shook my head. “I really hoped you could work it out. I never was able to make things right with my sister. So maybe I pushed you too much.”

Her eyes met mine, disarmed by my confession. “We spoke last weekend when she moved her stuff out. Lola’s doing what she wants. And I’ve moved on.”

“Good,”
I said, stroking her arms. “So you forgive me? I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help you move.”

“I got a man.
With a van.”

I
laughed. “So you didn’t need me.”

“Not for moving,” she agreed.

My smile deepened. “Maybe I’m good for something else…”

I
leaned in and kissed her. She raised her face, as eager as I was. The agony of holding back finally eased inside of me. My arms encircled her as I pressed against her body. She molded to me, melting soft in my hands.

But from the corner of
my eye, I saw a guy pass by too close to us, straining his head to watch us kiss. All of the sharks who had been following Sierra were now circling us, watching me hold her and hungrily eyeing the way her skirt rode up on her thigh.

I
grabbed her hand and gave a general glare at the watching men to back off. I didn’t think it would be such a problem at a classy event. But our PDA was getting out of hand.

Sierra didn’t ask where
we were going. She looked just as dazed and turned on as I was.

I
saw the old confessionals along the back and made a bee-line toward them. The first handle I tried was locked, but the second one was open.

I
pulled her inside with me, and there was barely enough room for us to stand next to the bench seat. But my arms were around her and I was kissing her again, this time letting go completely.

She reached up to touch
my face so tenderly that I turned to kiss her fingertips. Her hand was small in mine. It felt right, as if I could be her rock and she could be my light.

The faint cries of, “Ah, ah, ah…” filtered through the wooden screen behind her. She heard it at the same time, and
we broke off our kiss to listen. The rhythmic rustle and the cries were unmistakable. A couple was fucking in the box next to us.

I
leaned down, and could see the faint shadow of people through the wooden screen. The woman was getting louder, losing herself in the pleasure.

My
hand slid down to Sierra’s thigh, drawing up her dress. “They have the right idea.”

The bumping from next door made her eyes widen. Her hands were pushing on
my chest. “They’re having sex!” she whispered, finally realizing.

“Yes.”
I leaned in and kissed her again, lingering over the sweet taste of her lips. My hand drew up her skirt again.

But she stopped
me. “No.”

“But this is perfect,”
I murmured, pressing into her. “Nobody can see us.”

She pushed harder at
my chest. “People are right on the other side of this door! All dressed up. I’m not having sex with you in here.”

I
realized she meant it. For a moment, I hesitated, and then leaned forward to kiss her. Hoping she wouldn’t cut me off completely.

“I need to get out,” she said quietly before I could touch her lips.

I unlatched the door so she could leave. She settled her dress, glancing around uneasily. A couple of the guys were still hanging around watching us.

I
felt bad for letting my dick stampede ahead of my brain. But even now, part of me wanted to draw her back inside the confessional and kiss her into oblivion so I could do anything I wanted to her.

“Let’s go back to my place,”
I said. “You’ll love the view at night.”

She looked tempted, which perversely irritated
me. It was my usual line, and she was responding to it.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I think you have the wrong idea about me. I’m not the kind of girl who has casual sex with
men. I know we fell into this because I was freaking out over my sister. But I want a man who’s part of my life.”

I
was brought up short. The last thing I expected at this moment was the Ultimatum.

Here I was thinking she was different, but she was still angling for the same thing as all of the rest.
Give me everything
, was the constant demand I heard from women. They were willing to settle for far less, my pathetic relationships had proven that, but they still demanded everything and made me miserable knowing that I could never give them enough.

“Don’t look like that,” she told
me. “I didn’t hear from you for weeks, and now you’re all over me. What am I to think?”

“You don’t want a relationship with me. You don’t even know me,”
I snapped. “You want the fantasy—the billionaire hero who sweeps you off your feet, while you save him from his dark pain. Well, it doesn’t happen that way in real life, Sierra.”

She stared at
me, hurt and growing angry. “You don’t know what I want. I don’t expect anyone to rescue me. I’ve always taken care of myself, and Lola too—”

“Vic
tor!” a woman called out. Karla staggered up, smiling apologetically at Sierra. “’Scuse me,
dear
. Victor, can I have another twenty? I lost my cab fare, and you promised to get me home.”

Sierra backed off
, letting Karla move in to hang off my arm. I could tell Karla was exaggerating her drunkenness, playing it up to take a poke at Sierra and get revenge on me. I should have known that selfish Karla wouldn’t leave me alone without squeezing more than twenty dollars out of me.

Sierra turned around and walked away without a word.
I tried to peel Karla off me, but she was laughing now.

“
Boy is she pissed at you!” Karla exclaimed. “Did you see her face? She was mad when you came out of that confessional. What did you do to her in there?”

I
had a terrible sinking feeling.

“I misjudged her,” I whispered, more to myself than Karla.

Sierra had the right to be mad at me. She wasn’t a gold-digger. Lola might have been living off Dick, but that was Lola. Sierra didn’t do that.

In fact, I couldn’t imagine her doing that, now that I knew
her better.

I should have confessed to her at Pleasure Salon, or even at the party.
If Sierra was angry with me now, how would she react when she found out that I had been lying to her? She actually deserved a rich successful guy, not a liar like me.

It was all fucked up.

Chapter 20

Sierra

I
grabbed my cover-up from the coat check girl, and ran out of the Sanctuary. I paused at the top of the steps leading down to the street. People were still coming in, and a small crowd of smokers hung out on the flagstones at the bottom.

I
got my bearings and went down to 6
th
Street that fronted the church. The subway station was seven blocks away. I had worn a light coat on purpose so I wouldn’t have to pay for a cab ride home. But apparently Victor was used to giving cab money to his girls. He had done it for me once before. It must be nice to be able to buy any woman he wanted.

I
felt awful, like I had a hole pierced through my middle. Like something important was missing. The hope was gone.

While it was flattering to be
desired by a man like Victor, I couldn’t stand being just another number in his phone. I wasn’t like Karla, okay with getting cab money from a man after he decided there was another woman he preferred for the night.

When
I realized that he intended to have sex with me in the confessional, within minutes of seeing me for the first time in two weeks, it suddenly felt wrong. He was attracted to me, but that wasn’t enough.

Like I thought,
we don’t have a relationship.
He was on a date with another woman tonight, and he ducked out on her to mess around with me.

I was done with Victor. I didn’t do casual sex, and he didn’t do relationships. There was nothing else to say.

It wasn’t exactly the great last impression I had intended to leave with him, but it would have to do. I didn’t see any way forward for us.

My eyes stung as
I turned the corner and hurried down Avenue B. I felt safer on the brighter lit avenue. But if I stayed the course heading south, I would pass Victor’s place a few blocks south of Houston.

Right now,
I wanted to avoid Victor. When he touched me, I lost control. It was too seductive to fall into the pleasure he gave me. To let everything else go and surrender to him.

I had to hold it together and get out of here. When I was safe at home, I could fall apart.

I turned onto 5
th
Street and headed toward Avenue A. I didn’t want to risk running into him. That was a scarier thought than the darkened street.

But it was creepy in the shadows
, cast by the trees blocking the street lights. I was hurrying along when a hand grabbed my arm. “Sierra!”

“What—
“ I exclaimed, thinking it was Victor.

Turning,
I saw it was Dick. “Dick! What are you doing here?”
He pulled me deeper into the parking lot. I took a last look down the block, but Victor was nowhere in sight.

“I’m looking for Lola
,” Dick said. “Was she at the auction?”

I
was shocked. “You followed me to find Lola?”

“Don’t you
play all high and mighty with me, Sierra! I know you moved, and you didn’t tell me.”

“I don’t owe you anything. You’re not dating Lola anymore.”

“She needs help. She’s losing it. She didn’t quit her job—she was fired. There’s clothes missing, boxes of them. Her boss wants to find out where she is, too.”

A
familiar surge of protective fear starting to rise. Lola was in trouble again… she needed me…

But
I forced myself to say, “There’s nothing I can do. Lola won’t talk to me.”

“I can’t find her, Sierra. She left that flophouse
she was staying at in Bed-Sty. Since she doesn’t work in the mall anymore, she’s dropped out of sight. She’s not updating her profile to say where she’s going to be. I was hoping you knew.”

“Seriously, Dick?
You are a terrible detective. There were two vans parked outside our place last weekend when we moved out.”

“I was working
Saturday. If you’d told me what was happening, I could have been there!”

“It’s none of your business where Lola is living,”
I said flatly.

Dick stepped closer to
me, grabbing my arm again. “It is my business. Even though she’s going through a psychotic break, probably because of drugs, that doesn’t mean you give up on her.”

“Let go of me, Dick!”

I tried to wrest my arm from his grasp, but he had hold of me tight. “I know you have her address. Give me your phone.”

“
No!”

He shook
me. “Give it to me!”

I
tried to hit him, but he was so much bigger than me. I cried out as the pressure on my arm sharpened.

He held
me off and ripped my bag from my shoulder.

“Give that back!”
I cried out.

He shook
me hard, bringing me close to his face. “Shut up! Or I
swear
!”

He shoved
me away hard, and I stumbled in my high heels. My ankle twisted under me and I went to the ground with a cry. Pain shot through my bare knees as I landed on the asphalt, scraping the skin on my hands, too.