Rosa's Child (8 page)

Grace knows her own mind. Right from square one she wanted to pursue this. So I wasn't going to dissuade her, because I thought it might make her a fuller person. She has had her difficulties in the past, probably because she didn't have a settled family life, so I was worried that attempting to find out things might be quite traumatic. And there was a time when this search seemed to take her over completely - and it began to pull us apart. But there was nothing I could do to prevent her from taking the path she was taking.

Nor did Frederick offer much support, for he had worries of his own, in particular his studies at Cambridge. Indeed he shared his father's reservations. As a result, Grace's only active ally at this time was Hazel Bell. As Grace's initial file began to swell, the two women began to fantasize about the identity of Grace's real parents. Inspired by their writing course, together they concocted a Mills-&-Boon-style romance. As they saw it, describing the passionate liaison between Grace's mother and her father was the ultimate creative writing challenge.

'We would have this wonderful romantic story about two people coming together under the clouds of war,' Hazel recalls. 'Grace was convinced that this was a fairly educated background as far as her mother was concerned. I used to say, "What about father, though?" Together we built up a picture of this gay, abandoned, swashbuckling, rather handsome sort of guy.'

Fortunately, others were more concerned with the facts, notably the German Consulate, which seemed to be devoting a good deal of time to its research. In the summer of 1988, four months after Grace had written, she received the Consulate's reply. Suddenly and unexpectedly there had been a breakthrough. Researchers in Germany had unearthed Grace's birth certificate. Not only that: they had sent her the original. She was indeed Susi Bechhöfer, born in Munich on 17 May 1936. Welcome as it was, that information merely confirmed what she already knew. But then, casting her eyes to the bottom of the document, she saw the names of both her parents for the first time. Of course, two surnames could mean only one thing: that her parents were not married. Not that Grace cared: the crucial thing had been to establish their identity, and that much she had achieved. Her diary recalls her elation that day:

I'm walking on air, I really am. It's a fragment really, but it means an awful lot to me. My father has a name. And my mother has a name too. For the first time that makes them real people. I feel as if I have found something out. I've never seen their names before - it's just wonderful.

The document also revealed that Rosa Bechhöfer was born in Ansbach in Germany on 7 July 1898. But no additional information had been found about Otto Hald, her father. Was this just the start of a journey of discovery? Or would the spring in her step turn into a stumble, she wondered, and then a fall? But, as she pondered her next move, there was really only one question in her mind: whatever had become of Rosa and Otto?

PART II

Towards the Light

SIX

Rosa

D
uring the summer of 1988 Bertha Leverton was working flat out. In under nine months' time her detailed plans and preparations were to be put to the test. The fiftieth anniversary of the Kindertransport was approaching fast, and she was determined that the occasion of the mass exodus of Jewish children from Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia and Poland should not go unnoticed. It was not a case of generating publicity for publicity's sake; far from it. She had a precise purpose in mind. Having left Munich with her younger sister at the age of fifteen, Bertha's mission in life -for that is what it had become - was to compile a register of names and addresses so that the former children of the transports, now mostly middle-aged or elderly, might be able to get in touch, not just with one another, but also any surviving family members or friends.

It was Bertha's fervent hope that a book of individual reminiscences might also be compiled after the reunion, so that Gentiles and Jews alike might be less inclined to close their minds to the atrocities of the recent past. Of course the Holocaust was a fact, she would often affirm, but that did not mean that crumbs of comfort could not be picked up here and there. She might well have failed to convince some of her friends, many of whom preferred to dwell on less weighty issues, of the value of her mission, but she had persuaded the BBC to give her a hearing. So, before long her message, together with her own poignant story of separation and struggle, was being broadcast to millions of radio listeners on
Woman's Hour.

Grace Stocken happened to be tuned to Radio Four that day, and as she listened to Bertha Leverton speak about the forthcoming Kindertransport reunion she felt that here might be a key capable of unlocking a number of important doors for her. She had managed to obtain her birth certificate, true enough, but there had been very little progress since then. Noticing that the date and circumstances of her own flight from Germany tallied with those mentioned on the programme, she began to suspect that she herself had been one of the Kinder.

As soon as the programme was over she wrote to Bertha at the address in Stanmore, north-west London, which the BBC had given out to listeners. 'I too am a survivor -brought over from Munich in May 1939,' she explained. 'It is with regret that I have never known anything of my real parentage and am only now attempting to make some kind of contact.'

'I had had many letters,' Bertha would later explain, 'but when I got to Grace's I felt very emotional - something told me that there was something special and that I had to do my utmost to help. I myself came from Munich, so I felt a special kinship with her - and it went straight to my heart.' Bertha replied by return of post:

Your letter suggests that you must have been very young when you came, to have no memories of your childhood days. Among my friends there are several who came from Munich and perhaps between us, if we know your maiden name, we might be able to help. I can think of many ways for you to get in touch with people, but it will take some time...

Grace was delighted to have found a new ally in her cause. Here was someone who was not only prepared to take her seriously, but who apparently also wanted to establish a number of further particulars about her case. With a response like this Grace needed no prompting to take up Bertha's offer of help. Within a week of the broadcast she was writing a second letter to Bertha.

At the start of this year I started the ball rolling and six weeks ago I received my original birth certificate. After 52 years I now know who my father and mother were (names only). I was one of twins. We were both brought over and resided (somewhat unhappily) with a family in Wales. My sister died at the age of 35 yrs (tumour on the brain). Since 19 yrs I have devoted my life to nursing and have just recently retired. I tell you these facts briefly in order that we get to know each other. At last I feel I have a 'link'. I am thank God happily married with one son who is extraordinarily gifted as a musician. He is an organ scholar in Cambridge. Hopes to compose and conduct as a career. Am certain he will! It is he alone that I have but maybe there are blood ties somewhere? Can you help me?

It is a slightly unusual situation. My father's name was Otto Hald. My mother's name was Rosa Bechhöfer. I was Susi Bechhöfer. My sister was Lotte Bechhöfer. Born 17.5.1936 in Munich. We were brought over I am told from an orphanage in 1939, which burned to the ground 3 weeks later. I only tell you this as every clue might help. I have been wondering what to do next. Can you advise me? Please only when you have time and put this letter to the bottom of your large pile!

Bertha had no intention of putting Grace's letter at the bottom of her pile, and once again interrupted her many administrative tasks connected with the reunion to reply at once.

You are certainly not a nuisance and I don't think you are the only one either who is in the same position - but personally I have not come across any other stories like yours. My sister who was 8 at the time came across with a later transport and remembers a baby of about io months and a little girl of two on her train from Munich.

At least you have established your name and have your birth certificate. I am enclosing information for 2 things you could try. First of all the C.B.F. has or had records of all children who had arrived at that time. I recently found that out by chance and sent for my record. But they did tell me that some got lost during the war. It's worth a try though. Secondly, I enclose a monthly paper printed in London. You could write a letter to them asking any people who came from Munich and who remember your family to contact you. There are also several German Jewish Old Age homes in London and some of their residents may be able to remember your parents. I suggest you get a duplicate letter and send it to the matron of each home. But get it typed in the largest clearest print, as handwriting is very hard to read.

If you are adventurous you could even try the BBC unit, the name escapes me for the moment, who take such a challenge worldwide if their imagination is fired. Actually BBC television told me yesterday that they will be putting this over as a major event. If you like I could interest them in your story. But you must realize that should they take it on, they would make big news of it and you would become known and so would your history. Now I would go all out were it me, but I realize that some people would be reluctant to become news. Not that anyone can promise the outcome or if they would do it. But in conjunction with a 50 year event it might help. Anyway, it's up to you. I will gladly help if I can.

In suggesting to Grace that she make contact with the CBF - the Central British Fund for World Jewish Relief -Bertha had indeed given her the best possible advice. For there in London, among the Jewish Refugees Archives, were a number of papers which gave details of the Antonienheim orphanage where the twins had been left by their mother. There too, locked away in filing cabinets or sitting on shelves gathering dust as the years slipped by, were the documents which had allowed Susi and Lotte Bechhöfer to enter England.

Deprived for the best part of fifty years of any scrap of information about her origins, merely to learn of the existence of these files was an overwhelming experience for Grace. How many times had she been told that they had been destroyed by fire? Evidently that was not true. Not that the CBF was in a hurry to release the documents. Grace's request would have to be considered by a meeting of the full committee.

Major upheavals were in prospect, and aware that she was in a fragile state, Grace embarked on a series of counselling sessions. Her best friend, however, remained her pen. Time and again she would turn to her diary for comfort and support. It was a method of self-help as effective as any therapeutic technique.

Bertha, she is just amazing. Her commitment on my behalf is just staggering. I have heard the name Bechhöfer mentioned TWICE for the first time in my whole life. I feel exhilarated, confused, bemused, the timing of events is remarkable. Will they all be related? I must keep an open mind. I do believe I feel very special tonight. Events I feel may overtake me. I must keep calm and peaceful. My destiny surely has to be recorded. There is so much for me to learn. May I have the eyes and ears to know what is being told me. I need help. Someone who can listen and explore my true feelings...

The next day the diary revealed a mixture of hope and pain:

I am beginning to become aware of vital links that have been troubling me - the cessation of mother bonding - her pain, my pain, the disorientation that so often surrounds and confuses me emotionally, my endless seeking and yearning, my nightmares, my fears. I feel as though I am gradually becoming grounded and experiencing a miracle - the meaning of my life is becoming clearer.

On the practical level, Grace's quest at this stage took the form of gathering information. While waiting for the CBF to reply to her request to inspect their files, she continued to write to a wide variety of individuals and organizations. She contacted the Red Cross in London and then the International Tracing Service of its international committee in Arolsen in Germany. She began corresponding with a number of old people's homes in London and Dublin. She wrote to the World Tracing Centre and the Association of Jewish Ex-Servicemen. Her strategy was simplicity itself: every opportunity must be seized, every contact pursued with the utmost vigour. In this spirit she sought the help of the Jews' Temporary Shelter in London, only to learn that not a single one of its branches, who all apologized with the greatest regret, could offer her any help in tracing her parents.

Many other letters were sent and received, and many phone calls made, and as the volume of both grew daily, so did the financial burden of Grace's mission. Every now and then, in between drafting and reading letters, in between hopes raised and hopes dashed, she would pause to question her own motivation. 'Why am I doing all this?' she asked her diary. 'Because I think it would be an understatement to say that Rosa's heart would be very warmed to know that all of this is happening. To think that I am retracing her steps. This is amazing. Fate has made this happen, together with the help of other people like Bertha and the BBC

As a small child she had had no say in the matter, of course, but the fact remained that Grace had been brought up within the framework of Christianity. Her foster father had earned his living first as a Baptist minister then as a vicar in the Church of England, so it could not have been otherwise. Her whole life had been spent far from the big cities of Britain where Jewish life has long flourished and still remains strong: places like London, Manchester and Leeds. In fact, Bertha Leverton was the first Jew with whom Grace had ever knowingly been in contact, or at least since her departure from the Antonienheim at the age of three.

And yet the idea that she herself might be a Jew was now beginning to sink in. Deprived as she had been of knowledge of her own past and of the fate of Europe's Jewry, the possibility had not occurred to Grace before. Not even when she heard Bertha Leverton speak on the radio about the Kindertransport did the idea suggest itself, even though she felt a strangely close kinship with those children. It was not until she had made contact with Bertha and felt, through her letters, the woman's assurance and sincerity, that the seed took root in her mind. Whether consciously or not, Bertha gave not a second thought to any other possibility. Rather she built up a case for Grace's being Jewish with her casual references to the
Jewish Chronicle
and the Central Jewish Board, and her proposal to ask all her Jewish friends if they knew anyone with the name Bechhöfer.

Hazel Bell, the friend in Rugby who had gone out of her way to encourage Grace to embark on the search for her past, was likewise aware of the possibility that Grace might be Jewish.

Suddenly you have a Christian lady, whose son plays the organ recitals from time to time in the parish church of St Andrew -and you have this sudden idea that she might be Jewish. And it caused quite a consternation with her - and with me too really. Because I had always regarded two of the things that she and I had always had in common were being English women - all right so that had been wiped out - she's not an English woman at all - she's German or at least basically so. And then the other thing - that we are both Christian ladies -well that's suddenly sent into touch as well because maybe she isn't. Maybe she's Jewish.

Of course, there was no maybe about it. For some time Bertha had been pointing out to Grace during their various telephone conversations that Bechhöfer was a distinctly Jewish name. In fact she was quite wrong. 'Bechhöfér' was a perfectly typical, though not at all common, German name, simply implying that its bearers' ancestors came from a place called Bechhof or Bechhofen. Hundreds of Germans, Austrians and Swiss surnames are similarly linked to locations. While it is true that most German names found in Britain belong to Jews, there was nothing distinctly "Jewish about Bechhöfer. Nevertheless, right or wrong in the basis of her analysis, Bertha had clearly planted a fertile seed in Grace's mind. Here was a notion that Grace Stocken, Christian, churchgoer and long-time subscriber to the
Church Times,
was quite unable to digest. She was hardly aware of the existence of a Jewish community in England, let alone acquainted with its customs and beliefs.

'I didn't know what "kosher" meant,' Grace recalls. 'Seder night and so on - it all meant nothing to me. As far as I was concerned, Jews were people who lived in the East End of London. They were tailors who had gone on to make a lot of money.'

Bertha again suggested that Grace should apply to the Central British Fund in London for documentation on her and her twin sister. She was convinced that there would be a record of their having come to Britain on one of the Kindertransports. And, because the organization was sure to hold a record of their having been fostered, there might also be more about their earliest years - and perhaps about their mother. The CBF requested that Grace travel to London, since such matters were best dealt with in person. On a grey November morning Bertha met her from the train at Euston Station, and for the first time Grace saw the kind face that she had tried so often to imagine.