Rosa's Island (20 page)

Tears sprang to Rosa's eyes. ‘Another family, Gran, who know nothing about me!'

If James Drew had felt any remorse when he arrived home to find his eldest, middle and youngest daughters at his wife's bedside, then he didn't show it. Matthew was tired and irritable after his long ride to Hornsea and back to fetch Delia, and he hardly spoke to his father, not even to ask if he had found a new corn merchant. Jim was his usual dour self, Delia spoke little and it was left to Flo and Maggie to try and keep up their spirits.

‘You got out just in time, Maggie,' Flo said as they washed the breakfast dishes the following morning. ‘You'd be stuck with Da and 'lads if you hadn't wed.'

‘Yes, I would,' Maggie agreed and mused on how pleasant it was having her own home where she could do whatever she wanted. Fred was a most agreeable husband and generous too. He had bought her a horse and trap of her own and he insisted that she drove to Sunk Island in it when she received the call from Matthew to come.

‘You'll be all right,' Fred had said. ‘I wouldn't let you go in 'dark or in bad weather, but it's fine
and dry now so off you go and stay 'night or as long as you're needed.'

She'd kissed him and thanked him for being so understanding for she was worried about her mother, but she had felt embarrassed about arriving in such style at her old home, and was glad that there had been only Flo and Rosa to greet her, who both exclaimed in delight when they saw the smart conveyance.

‘I'm bothered about Rosa though,' she said now to Flo, as she stacked the dishes in the cupboard. ‘When Ma—' She stifled a sob and Flo put her arms around her and hushed her.

‘Don't worry about Rosa,' Flo consoled. ‘She can take care of herself.'

‘What about Rosa?' Matthew walked in through the open kitchen door. ‘What's up?'

‘Nothing.' Maggie sniffled. ‘I was just wondering what she would do if – when Ma—'

‘She'll stay,' he muttered. ‘She said that she would when I asked her, onny – onny—'

‘What?' Flo said. ‘Onny what?'

He looked towards the stairs. Delia was upstairs sitting with their mother, and he lowered his voice. ‘Well, when I brought Delia back yesterday, she said that she might come back home, and you know what that means!'

‘Oh,' Maggie said. ‘Rosa and Delia don't get on. There'll be a right rumpus then!' Matthew nodded in agreement, then asked, ‘How do you think Ma is this morning? Should I go for 'doctor?'

‘Won't he call?' Maggie asked.

‘He hasn't been sent for yet,' Matthew
answered. ‘Rosa said that Ma wouldn't have him. Not yet, she'd said.'

‘But you should have insisted!' Maggie complained. ‘Or Da should.'

‘Da was supposed to be calling on him when he came back from Hull, onny he didn't. When I asked him last night he said he wanted to see how she was before he called him out.'

‘Go then,' Flo said. ‘Though there's not much he can do, it'll put our minds at rest.'

So Matthew mounted his horse once more and this time set off to Patrington in search of the doctor, who said he would come at the end of the afternoon when he had finished seeing his other patients. Matthew hesitated in the main street, before turning for home. Rosa was staying with her grandmother, and on a sudden impulse he wheeled around and set off towards the small house which he remembered from all those years ago. That was when Rosa had come to see her grandmother and he, accompanying her and visiting his sister Flo, had been closely scrutinized by Miss Dingley.

He knocked on the door and Rosa answered it. She seemed aroused and stimulated about something, he thought, and her eyes were bright. She greeted him with pleasure and invited him in. It seemed strange to him to see her in a different setting from the one they were usually in.

‘Your ma's not worse?' she said anxiously, when he said he had been to fetch the doctor. ‘I'd better get back!'

‘No, no.' He was emphatic. ‘There's no need.
It's just that Maggie is worried, so Flo said we'd better send for him.'

‘It's too late,' she said softly. ‘You know that, don't you Matthew? I told your father before that he should send for him.'

He nodded miserably. ‘I think Ma knows that. That's why she wouldn't have him visit. She doesn't want to be told what she already knows.'

Mrs Jennings invited him to have a cup of tea, which he refused, but he shook hands with Miss Dingley and asked her if she remembered him. She just gazed at him with tired eyes and said nothing.

‘She'll not remember you,' Mrs Jennings said. ‘She doesn't remember anybody, onny Flo, and she clings to her, calls her her bonny lass, when she can get it out, which isn't often.'

Rosa pondered as she watched her grandmother giving Aunt Bella her drink and breaking up pieces of scone to place into her mouth. What will Gran do when Aunt Bella isn't here? she wondered. Though her grandmother was elderly she was still very sprightly and alert. Will she stay on here in Aunt Bella's house? Will she have any money to live on?

‘I'd better get back,' Matthew said. ‘I've to take Delia back to Hornsea. It's been nice seeing you again, Mrs Jennings.'

‘And you too, Matthew.' Mrs Jennings smiled. ‘You're not 'shy tongue-tied lad that I remember!'

‘No,' he agreed, and looked at Rosa. ‘I'm not.'

‘I'll see you at home.' Rosa let him out of the door. ‘I won't be late back.'

He nodded. At home! It was her home and had been for a long time, but would she still want to stay if Delia was there?

She put her head to one side. ‘Matthew? Are you all right?'

He gave a small sad smile. He would be more all right if he could place his hands around her face and kiss her lips. As if she was reading his thoughts she reached up and kissed his cheek. Her face was soft against his. ‘Try not to worry about your ma,' she whispered. ‘She's a good woman. God won't let her suffer.'

‘I know,' he said, and waved goodbye.

‘He's made a handsome young fellow, hasn't he?' her grandmother remarked as Rosa went back into the parlour.

Rosa agreed that he had.

‘And he's sweet on you, Rosa. Anybody wi' half an eye can see that.'

Rosa smiled. ‘Yes, he is. Always has been.'

MATTHEW TOOK A
silent Delia back to Hornsea and Flo returned to Patrington, insisting that they send for her if their mother worsened.

‘She seems all right at the moment,' Maggie said to Rosa hopefully as the two of them sat at the kitchen table. ‘Mebbe 'doctor was exaggerating when he said it was bad!'

Rosa nodded and said nothing, not wanting to upset Maggie further, but Mrs Drew had called her to her side when she had returned from her grandmother's, and had taken her hand in hers. ‘I know you'll do what's right for everybody, Rosa,' she'd said in a dry whisper. ‘But you must do what's right for yourself too. You've been cheated out of what should have been yours.'

‘I don't understand, Aunt Ellen!' Rosa was puzzled. ‘Cheated out of what?'

Mrs Drew had turned her head to look out of the window. A fine grey drizzle was falling, splattering the panes with raindrops and darkening the room. ‘Out of your ma and da,' she said. ‘I did what I could to replace them, but it wasn't enough. A child needs its parents.'

‘You've been as good as a mother to me, Aunt Ellen. Gran must have known that when she asked you to take me.' Rosa had a lump in her throat as she reassured the sick woman. ‘As for my father, well I never knew him, so I don't know how he would have been.'

‘He would have loved you,' she'd answered softly. ‘There's no doubt about that. He was a warm and loving man. He had his faults, but no more and much less than some I can think of.'

‘Rest now,' Rosa had implored her. ‘Don't worry about what might have been.'

‘No,' Mrs Drew sighed. ‘It's too late for that. But you'll remember what I said? And – and if anything should happen – if you should discover something which causes you pain, then will you try to forgive?'

Rosa had gazed down at her. What was she trying to say? But she declined to question Aunt Ellen further for she appeared so very weary, and only said that she would try.

She lit the lamp and left it low. ‘Would you like Maggie to come up and sit with you?' she'd asked and Mrs Drew had said yes, but that she also wanted to speak to Jim and to Matthew when he returned from Hornsea. ‘Never mind if it's late,' she said. ‘There's something I want to say to him.'

Rosa had turned to leave the room but Aunt Ellen called her back. ‘You know that Matthew loves you?' she whispered.

Rosa smiled. ‘Yes.'

‘He'll make up for what has gone before,' she murmured. ‘If only you'll let him.'

It was late when Matthew returned and he was in ill humour, for he was wet through and said that Delia had barely spoken on the journey and seemed only concerned about losing a day's wages. ‘Have you no thought for our mother?' he'd asked her angrily. ‘She wanted to see you.'

Delia had had a sullen expression on her face as she answered. ‘I've got worries too. It's all right for all of you. I'm stuck out here on my own.'

‘But you wanted to go into service,' he'd retaliated. ‘You said before that you wouldn't come back to Sunk Island!'

‘Well, so I wouldn't,' she'd muttered. ‘Given 'choice. But I might have to,' and she lapsed into silence again, and he couldn't be bothered to argue with her any more.

Matthew seemed calmer after talking with his mother and when he came down, Maggie and Rosa were sitting by the parlour fire. Maggie asked if she could make him a hot drink. ‘Thanks, Maggie,' he said, ‘and then I'm off to bed. It's been a long day. Where's Da?' he asked Rosa. ‘He's late.'

‘He went with Jim across to Marsh Farm,' she said. ‘He said he wanted to check if 'hayloft was dry.'

Matthew frowned. ‘Why would he want to do that at this time of night? And why isn't Jim staying here when he might be needed?'

Rosa shook her head and said she didn't know. ‘Your da went off some time ago. Maybe he's talking to Harry or somebody.'

‘That's not like Da,' he murmured. ‘He likes to
be in his bed afore ten.' He looked perturbed. ‘I'd better go and look for him.'

‘He's just coming,' Maggie called out from the back kitchen. ‘I can see him pottering about in 'yard and Jim's with him.'

Matthew leaned towards Rosa and lowered his voice. ‘I don't think it'll be long.' He indicated upstairs. ‘I'll fetch 'doctor first thing in 'morning.'

She nodded and grasped his hand. ‘Yes,' she said softly. ‘But don't tell Maggie. Let her have a good night's sleep.'

He turned her hand over and kissed her palm, then dropped her hand as they heard the outer door open and his father's voice. She smiled gently, then looked away as Maggie, Mr Drew and Jim came into the room. Mr Drew was short-tempered and irritable and Jim seemed even more morose than usual.

‘Your ma wants to speak to you, Jim,' Rosa said.

‘It's late,' he replied half-heartedly. ‘I'd better not disturb her now.'

‘Go on up,' Matthew broke in. ‘She's still awake. She wants to see you.'

Maggie looked anxiously at Rosa and then at Jim, who was hovering as if uncertain what to do. ‘You'd better go up then, Jim.' She had a catch in her voice and her eyes were moist. ‘Rather than disturb her in 'morning.'

Jim slowly climbed the narrow stairs and knocked on his mother's bedroom door. The lamp burned dimly though the fire was bright and sent a glow around the room.

‘How you feeling, Ma? Any better?' He was never a man of words and as he stood by his mother's bedside he was lost for anything to say. ‘It's still raining. Young corn's getting flattened.'

‘It'll spring up again.' She gave a weak smile. ‘It always does, and we'd have no corn at all without rain.'

‘Aye,' he agreed, and lapsed into silence.

‘I wanted to talk to you, Jim.' She eased herself up higher in the bed and asked him to adjust her pillows. ‘Come and sit here by me.' She patted the patchwork coverlet on the bed. ‘We don't often have 'chance to talk together.' Her throat rasped and she coughed and beckoned for the glass of water on the table by the bed.

She took a sip and handed the glass back to him. ‘I know that you've not had a happy life,' she began. ‘There's been something bothering you since you were just a young lad.' She lifted her hand and turned his face towards her, for he had looked away as she spoke.

‘I'm your mother, Jim,' she pleaded. ‘Why couldn't you confide in me?'

He shook his head and looked down. He could feel his throat tightening and tears welling at the back of his eyes. There was nothing he could tell her, and why should he share his misery and torment with her, especially now when she was so ill?

‘You won't tell me because someone else told you not to?'

He looked at her, then put his hand over his eyes and sobbed. Sobbed as he had done all those years ago.

‘You were only a boy,' she said softly. ‘Whatever happened, you were not to blame.'

‘I was.' He felt a low drooping of spirits, a great heaviness of heart. ‘It was my fault.' He lifted his head and looked at her through his tears. ‘You don't know. Nobody knows.'

‘Do you want to tell me about it?'

He shook his head. ‘I can't. I can't tell anybody. I onny know that I'm damned.'

‘No.' She took his hand and stroked it as if he was a child again. ‘God will forgive us if we repent.' She paused, then said softly and wearily, ‘I don't know what happened that night, I only know that something dreadful did. I believe you to be innocent and someone else guilty. Neither,' she added, ‘do I think that you could possibly have guessed at the consequences.'