Roses For Sophie (19 page)

She grinned back at him. ‘That would definitely be a new experience, but I'm not sure I'd ever be able to concentrate on my work here again.'

‘Spoilsport,' he declared.

Over a delicious selection of starters and main meals, Sophie found herself telling Logan everything she'd learned about Felix's activities. She refrained from telling him about the possibility of a takeover bid. That had yet to be confirmed and it was pointless speculating on and worrying about something that may never eventuate. Patrick would look into it and get back to her on Monday. Meanwhile, she had enough to deal with.

Watching Logan's reactions carefully for any sign that he was going to pull away from her and bring their relationship to an abrupt halt because of the impending scandal, she was relieved when he merely listened and made supportive comments.

Frequently her eyes drifted to the roses and she thought about all he'd told her that they signified. Despite her corporate worries and concerns for her grandfather's health, she felt like the luckiest woman on the planet.

Throughout their impromptu meal, even with the stressful work situation she was facing, Sophie felt the hum of awareness between them. It was in the tingle that spread up her arm as their fingers touched when he passed her a glass of wine. It was there in the flash of desire in his eyes when he watched her tongue dart out to lick some of the sweet chilli sauce from her lips.

The roses he'd chosen were appropriate because their passion and friendship was deepening. Logan was such a good listener and so considerate of her needs — his statement that he was worthy of her also rang true. Bit by bit he was wearing down her defences and making her believe that they could be happy together in the long-term — especially as his knowledge that Carlisle Mining was involved in a scandal of massive proportions didn't seem to be making any difference to his regard for her. Clearly he wasn't concerned that their association could hinder his application for custody of Charlotte.

Picking up a paper serviette and wiping her mouth, she looked at him. ‘I'm feeling a lot better now I've eaten, but mainly I'm feeling better now that you're here,' she admitted. ‘It's been so good to be able to talk to you about all this. It's not easy being in charge of a huge company, is it?'

‘No, it isn't. I'm certainly enjoying the pseudo break away. The responsibilities can suck the life right out of you if you don't have the structures and the right people in place.'

‘Clearly, my cousin needs to go.'

Logan reached out and enclosed Sophie's hands in his own. ‘What you have to remember is to work to live, rather than living to work. A company is like a huge ship. Your job as captain is to employ the right people to hoist the sails, tighten the ropes and so on. All you should have to do is stand at the helm and steer the right course.'

He was right, but for the first time in her life she was really wondering whether she wanted to sign up for this long voyage in seas that could be hostile and stormy. It would be so much nicer to drop anchor in some secluded little cove with this man as her lover. Closing her mind on her doubts, she said, ‘Well, this ship has had the wrong captain at the helm for the last six months and there's about to be mutiny!'

Logan smiled but quickly grew serious again. ‘I don't want you to have to work through the night by yourself on this. I'm happy to help you go through the paperwork if you'd like me to, or if not, to just sit here and be with you while you work.'

The man was just too good to be true. She sighed, but resisted the urge to hug him. ‘Thank you. I would really appreciate your help.' Sophie couldn't remember the last time she'd accepted help from anyone, especially in the business arena. For as long as she could remember she'd been busy trying to prove she could cut her own way through the corporate jungle. There'd always been part of her afraid that she'd be perceived as weak if she requested help. But the decision to accept help from Logan actually made her feel stronger.

They worked side by side into the early hours of the morning, absorbing all Patrick's notes, checking and cross-checking all the damning evidence, until it was done.

When the paperwork had been locked back in the briefcase, Logan placed his hands on her shoulders. His strong fingers began to massage the tightness away and she relaxed back against him, giving a little moan of pleasure.

‘I must be dreaming. No man can be so wonderful.' She sighed.

‘The last few days have been fantastic. I'd say we have a good mix of respect, trust, friendship and passion, wouldn't you?' His fingers worked up the column of her neck, his thumbs working to knead out the stress.

‘Yes.' There was no denying the truth of his statement.

‘The night we met, you told me you didn't think you'd ever meet a guy who'd give you all those things, yet we share them.'

She tensed again, despite his massaging, knowing exactly what this was leading to.

‘Marry me, Sophie. Let's enjoy those things not just as a short-term arrangement as I initially proposed, but for the rest of our lives.'

God, it was tempting. Every hour spent in his company made it more so. But it was the lack of love that was holding her back. She'd had respect, trust and friendship in her marriage to Jake as well and it hadn't been enough. Yes, she and Logan had passion, but what if the passion dimmed? There'd be no love to hold them together. The thought of another collapsed marriage was the stumbling block because the relentless intrusion into her life from the media after her last divorce had nearly broken her. She'd felt so much like a failure and so incapable of finding personal happiness. Contemplating going through that again was just too much.

Pulling away from him, she turned around and looked up at him. ‘You've conveniently forgotten the most essential requirement I have for marriage, Logan.'

His lips twisted. ‘Love? What is love, Sophie, if it isn't all those things?'

‘Are you telling me you're in love with me?'

His hesitation said it all. ‘I'm telling you I'd be happy to marry you and can see us having a great life together.' He must've been able to tell from her expression that what he was offering fell short of her expectations, for he went on to say, ‘I love being with you.'

Some consolation.

He loved being with her but he didn't love her.

Friendship and passion, but no love? How could that be possible? If there were no love it wouldn't work. She was convinced of it. Surely she wasn't wrong about something so fundamental to her beliefs? A great ball of frustration made her chest tight. Tonight she'd started questioning her desire to run the company and now she was wavering on what was really important to her in a relationship, and thinking it might be worthwhile grabbing what Logan was offering. Just what exactly was causing this shake-up?

‘Are you telling me you love me?' he demanded, his voice laced with frustration and a tinge of impatience.

With that burning question placing her squarely on the spot, the answer came like a King hit, spinning around in her head with such force that she caught her breath and felt giddy.

Yes. She'd fallen in love with Logan. Crushing pain followed the realisation. It was happening again — she was losing her heart to a man who simply didn't want it. A man who, despite all his romantic gestures and consideration, told her he respected, trusted and desired her but didn't love her.

‘No,' she forced out, aware he was waiting for her answer. ‘I'm not saying that.' It might have just struck her as the truth, but there was no way she'd admit it. She wasn't about to make a fool of herself again.

‘I'm sure it doesn't get any better than this, Sophie. Marry me. You won't regret it.'

She stood up and paced around the other side of her desk, needing something solid between them. ‘You want me to make a decision for a lifetime based on an acquaintance of less than a week?'

‘This is more than just an acquaintance. Don't devalue what we have.'

‘No.' Her hand cut through the air and her stockinged toes curled into the carpet as every muscle in her body strained. ‘I won't marry you based on what we've enjoyed together for a few days, and if you can't accept that then maybe it's better if we end this right here.'

A little pulse ticked away just above his jaw. He raised one hand and then dragged it through his hair in a gesture of frustration.

‘I need a wife, Sophie. I want that wife to be you.'

‘And there's the crux of it, just as I've known from the outset. We're going around in circles here, Logan. You
need
a wife rather than being able to say you
want
one. This is all about winning custody of Charlotte.'

‘I've been completely honest with you about that. I didn't want a wife, but now I've met you I find I'd be quite happy to settle down with you.'

‘Are you trying to convince me of that or yourself?'

‘I'm telling you how I feel.'

‘So, if there was no Charlotte, no court case, you'd still be proposing to me, having known me less than a week?'

He looked away and his lips thin as he pressed them together. They parted as he uttered one fatal word of admission. ‘No.'

‘Exactly.' She'd known that would be his answer. She wasn't going to let that truth hurt her.

‘The fact that I need a wife has me proposing to you, Sophie, but I can honestly tell you that I've never felt so right about a relationship. I've spent more time with you than I usually spend with a woman I'm dating, and when we're not together I find I'm constantly thinking about you. By this stage, I've usually already lost interest in whoever it is that I'm seeing.'

Striving to sound logical and matter-of-fact, she reasoned, ‘You're an ultra wealthy and powerful man used to getting exactly what you want, when you want it, and I'm probably the only woman who's ever said no to you. What does that do? It makes you more determined to pursue me and have me fall into your plans.'

The strong muscles of his neck worked up and down as he swallowed.

‘Don't sell yourself short. I want you and that's not based on any need to wear you down and bend you to my will. I want to marry you. Nobody else.'

Damn him!

‘I deserve more than that, Logan. You talk about wanting me but we can't always have what we want, and what we want isn't necessarily always good for us. I deserve to be loved. While you might be prepared to settle for less, I'm not going down that road again.'

Part of her waited for his response. A silly little romantic flame was still alight. It flickered and hoped he'd declare he really did love her. Optimism beyond all logic made her hope that maybe he just hadn't realised that what he was feeling for her was love.

He said nothing. She watched him shift a little on his feet.

With a little defiant thrust of her chin, she drew herself up ramrod straight and steeled herself for the words she had to say. ‘This is where we say goodbye, Logan.'

‘No.' The denial was instant, but then he seemed to search for something else to say — an argument that could convince her. ‘I promised you I'd come to the Hunter Valley this weekend.'

‘I think it's better for both of us that you don't.'

‘But your grandfather needs to believe in this, and we promised each other only last night that we'd announce our engagement.'

Her grandfather.

She turned away from Logan and walked toward the window.

Finally she understood why her grandfather was so adamant that she marry. What was the point of having strived for the top position in Carlisle Mining if she was alone? Why had she even aimed for that position? In a flash, she knew. She'd wanted to please her grandfather and to make him proud. Considering all he'd done for her, she'd wanted to repay him. Add in the knowledge that she would never have children, and she'd thrown herself into her career, nurtured the company as though it were her child. She'd wanted to be absorbed by her work to overcome the void inside her that said she'd never be a mother. But now it was almost certain to be hers, did she really want it?

A very large part of her wanted to grab the chance that Logan was offering her to become a wife and mother. The hollow, gnawing emptiness where her heart used to reside was suddenly filled as desperation rushed in. There was a yearning to act on the opportunity he offered and she knew it wasn't just for Rigby's sake or in the best interests of Charlotte, but that part of her warmed to the idea that she grab at the chance to be married to this man she'd fallen for, even if her love wasn't reciprocated. Oh, dear Lord, her thoughts and emotions were like the pendulum of a clock swinging backward and forward.

On a huge exhalation she said, ‘You're right. We'll stick to that decision and announce our engagement.'

‘Just our engagement?'

‘Having regretted my decisions to be married before, it's still too soon for me to contemplate marriage again when we've only just met.'

‘Our engagement is a start.'

The colourful roses on the coffee table snared her attention as she turned back toward Logan. The blooms were beautiful, but they weren't the red ones she craved.

‘This is a beautiful property,' Logan remarked as he turned his luxurious Aston Martin One-77 off the main road and in through the entrance of the Carlisle Estate in the Hunter Valley. ‘I didn't have a chance to look around when I came up to meet your grandfather as I had too many other things scheduled into the day.'

‘I'll be happy to show you around,' Sophie told him.

The private road forked. To the left it led to Carlisle Cellars, Sophie's grandfather's winery which was open to the public, and to the right the road wound up a hill toward the private compound housing Rigby Carlisle's residence and villas for his weekend guests.