Roth (13 page)

“How far along am I?”

“I don’t know. Geyt should be able to tell you that.”

“But how long have I been here? Four weeks? Five?”

“I think it should be around four weeks.”

“We slept together a few times on Earth. Assuming it
happened the first time we had sex, then we were on Earth for about two more weeks before Ival arrived, right?”

I try to think back,
yet it feels as though those times were months ago, if not years. “I believe so.”

“How long was I on that spaceship before I landed?”

“Roth is roughly a week travel from Earth.”

“Then I can’t be more than eight weeks pregnant.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Human pregnancies last nine months. If this one is the same, we have seven months to end this war and reclaim Earth. That’s possible, right?”

“Perhaps,” I lie.

Another wind blows past us, the cool air hitting our exposed skin
, and I feel Mattie shiver under me. I reseal her vest, wishing I didn’t have to cover her up, but not liking her unprotected or exposed for others to see. Even if it’s too dark for anyone to recognize what they are seeing, it will be light soon.

“Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll keep watch over you
,” I offer.

“I’m not tired; whatever Geyt gave me cleared up my exhaustion. If anyone should sleep, it’s you. I know you weren’t sleeping much while we were out in that forest. If you’re going to protect us, then you need your rest, too.”

I frown at her words. “You don’t think I’m capable of protecting you?”

“You are, but
you would be better if you got some sleep. It will also make me feel better.”

I want to argue with her because she needs to rest more than I do, and because I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at all until I know she’s safe.
Still, I decide to humour her. Lying down and bringing her to lie next to me, I hold her tightly to me, aware that she might be hiding her true intentions from me and ready to take off to find Kane as soon as I am asleep. It wouldn’t be the first time she took off on me while I slept. She took Logan and ran from me back on Earth. Would she do that again?

I lock her in my arms, inhaling her scent as I kiss the top of her head. The distant sounds of the Claws and hinemas battle on
as I briefly wonder what we will find once the sun comes up. I imagine there will be a lot of destruction and chaos out there. Hopefully, the hinemas can hold up and the Claws will be defeated. Then we’ll just have to deal with the nests, and maybe that will be the end of the Claws on Roth. My father, if he is the one who has orchestrated this attack, will have failed and I can focus on getting Mattie off this planet.

I close my eyes for just a second, but when I open
them, I find the sun is already up and Mattie is no longer in my arms.

Chapter 10

Mattie

My talk with Marduke last night makes me feel a small amount better about being pregnant. It lasts a good few minutes before panic takes over me again. So as Marduke sleeps soundly next to me, I’m freaking the hell out.

I’m nineteen!
I am clueless about being a mother! I’m trapped on Roth with no prospect of making it back to Earth! What if pregnancies run super quick for Marduke’s race and it’s going to pop out of me any minute? How do I give birth to an alien baby? What if Marduke insists he tattoos it? What if we are awful parents? What if we fuck up and accidently kill it? I am awful with kids. Logan was a complete fluke.

Then there is the guilt. What will humans think of me? What will Hank? How about my parents? They could be looking down on my right now, and what are they thin
king? Are they disappointed in me? Do they regret having me for a daughter?

These thoughts and similar ones go around my mind
for hours. By the time the first sun rises, I am convinced I can feel the baby moving inside me, that it’s going to be triplets and they will each have several extra limbs. It doesn’t matter that Marduke looks human, which means a baby would be similar. When things go wrong, they like to go incredibly wrong.

I knew all about safe sex
, but it was the end of the world! I wasn’t meant to survive on Earth for long, and Marduke isn’t human. I had some great reasons for not being too concerned about contraception.

I feel claustrophobic in my own skin. I want to take the baby out of me, even if just for a moment to catch my breath.
Yet I can’t, and I feel trapped and alone.

I’m so not cut out to be a mother.

“Mattie?” Hank’s quiet voice lulls me away from my panic.

I slip out of Marduke’s arms, watching to make sure I don’t wake him.
He appears peaceful in his sleep, and I hope he manages to stay dreaming a little longer. I was aware he wasn’t sleeping much when we were out in the forest. A lot of the times, when I woke up distressed, he was there to calm me. Other times, I would just drift in and out of sleep, and every time I came up from dozing, he would still be awake, trying to soothe me in my sleep.

I know I was a bit harsh on him last night. He’s only trying to protect me, but I can’t stand how calm he seems to be about this. Isn’t he afraid at all? Isn’t he terrified?

All he keeps saying is that he’s going to get us off this planet, and basically, we will live happily ever after somewhere else I have never been to. Well, I can’t just pick up and leave everyone I know to this hell. It would make me an incredibly bad person. But does wanting to stay and fight make me a bad mother?

My head hurts and I stop my thoughts before I have a meltdown. Instead
, I focus on Hank, who is looking at me like I have grown an extra head.

“What?”

“You looked a little constipated or something just now.”

“Shut up!” I flush. We leave Marduke behind and walk a few steps away so our voices don’t wake him.

“They’ve stopped.” I nod towards the open fields, noting the destruction of the machines scattered about as well as blood and guts and other remains from the destroyed creatures.

No creatures are left, however there are only a handful of machines still standing, and most
of those aren’t completely all there. All of them are damaged, and I know they won’t survive another attack from the creatures. They probably wouldn’t survive an attack from us, and we have no weapons!

Except we do now. An image of Kane with a gun in my face flashes before my eyes.

“Yeah, I think maybe the machines killed most of them.”

“
I never thought I’d see the day when they were saving us.”

“I know. They won’t last much longer against a new attack.”

“A new attack?” Is he talking about us attacking them?

“Yeah, those nests we stumbled on. Not only did we see over a dozen of those creatures guarding them
, which means those ones are probably still in that forest, but we also saw easily sixty of those weird eggs. Once they hatch, we’re screwed. That’s not even mentioning the fact that we might not have found them all.”

“Oh, shit
,” I gasp, my heart sinking with his words. When I woke and saw that the creatures were dead and there were no more fighting, I had allowed myself to hope they wouldn’t be a problem for us. I instead moved onto our next issue, the rebellion. Why do my problems keep piling up?

“Yeah, look
, I’m not supposed to tell you much about what we’re going to do, but I think Kane is being an asshole. I know Marduke is a good person, but he won’t listen to me.”

I hold in my sigh, knowing Kane is too stubborn to e
ver change his opinion. I focus on what Hank isn’t supposed to tell me, my curiosity building quickly. “What are you going to do?”

“It’s what
we’re
going to do. We found a lot of weapons on that spacecraft, but it won’t be enough to hold off all those creatures if we allow the eggs to hatch. So we’re going to have to destroy them before they get the chance.”

His words send my heart racing and my hand automa
tically moves to my stomach. He’s talking about killing something unborn because of the threat and unknown it poses. They would probably want to do the same if they knew I was carrying Marduke’s child.

“You still with me?” He frowns at me.

“Yeah. Sorry, just tired. Okay, so the plan is to go out into the forest and hunt down the nests? What, will we shoot them?” I try to sound enthusiastic because, deep down, I know it’s the best thing. Those creatures aren’t going to be born cuddly and friendly. They’ll kill us all if we don’t attack first.

“No, we don’t want to waste the bullets on that. There are a few bomb disposal guys here that think they have enough ingredients found in the spaceship to make some small explosions. We’re going to blow them up.”

“Is that safe?” I shiver in fear.

“Not for those creatures
, it’s not. They’re splitting into teams now. My father and brother are going to stay behind and keep guard of the camps. I volunteered to go out into the forest, and I know you wouldn’t want to miss out on the action. I told Kane that I’d go, and I want you to come with me. Marduke can come, too, if he wants.”

“He’d allow that?” My mind races with his suggestion and
I am again aware of my hand grazing my stomach, feeling the vest there.

“They need as many people here protecting the camps in case any creatures come back. Going out into the forests is going to be dangerous
, and he doesn’t want to risk good men and women on that, so he’d be fine with it seeing as how he feels about you now. He wants five teams to search the forest, five to six people in each team.”

“I don’t know if I should go
.” I try to work out how to tell him I’m pregnant. Hank would understand and he would also keep it to himself. But then, what if Marduke’s true identity comes out? What if they realise what this baby is and try to harm it? “I’m tired of fighting,” I admit, knowing it sounds like a lame excuse.

“So am I, Mattie, but we have a duty to all humans and to Earth to take action.” His eyes narrow in confusion. “I thought you wanted to be a part of this fight? I thought you wanted to find Lisa and your sister and keep them safe? Don’t you want Earth back?”
When he glares at me, I can’t even find it in myself to be annoyed that he’s trying to guilt me into something I don’t have to do. I am sure there are many people who have given up this fight, so why is it so horrible that I might give up, too? I am only one person and an untrained one at that.

“I know, and I do want them back. I want Earth back
,” I admit carefully.

“Then you’ll help me? Because I don’t want to do this without you by my side. We’ve been through a lot together and I trust you.”

Yep, that guilt is piling on even heavier now.

“Do you really think we can survive this and get back to the camps safe?”

“What are you talking about?” Marduke sounds distressed as he moves behind me. I look back at him, noticing the relief in his eyes when our gazes connect.

“I’m filling Mattie in on the plan. We’re going into the
forest to take down those nests we saw.”

“
We
?” Marduke’s eyes narrow on us both.

“Yeah, I managed to get you guys an invite.” Hank smiles at Marduke, who does not reciprocate.

“It’s too dangerous; we’re not going.” Marduke’s hand rests over my shoulder, no doubt ready to pull me back if he wants to get me away from Hank at a moment’s notice.

“Look
, I get if you’re scared, but we don’t have time to be afraid. We need to get on this straight away. We have no idea how soon those eggs are going to hatch. They’ve only been here a few days and already they have them laid, or whatever they do.” He shivers and I find the mental image of those things reproducing and an egg coming from them just as disgusting. “So we have to destroy them now while they’re defenceless.”

“This sounds like a suicide mission. I’m not going to risk Mattie’s life for this when you have plenty of other men and women who can do this. She has already done enough.”

They both glare at each other.

“So you’re making decisions for her now?” Hank snaps. “Are you the boss of her as well?”

“Hank,” I sigh, not wanting to have them start fighting. “Just put yourself in his shoes and imagine he’s the one suggesting to you that Lisa goes out into that forest.”

Hank blanches and immediately nods his head. “Sorry, I’m just edgy. Look, okay fine, I get it. However, Mattie and I are a team. We made a promise to each other that we were going to get off Roth and avenge our loved ones. We promised we’d do whatever it takes to get Earth back, and this is just the first step in a long journey in doing that.”

“Like I said, you’re talking about a suicide mission. This is the first and only step you’ll make,” Marduke growls at him.

“Not if we do things carefully. Not if we work as a team.” He addresses Marduke,
yet then his eyes focus on me, and he reaches out and takes a hold of my hands, squeezing them as he speaks. “We’re determined, Mattie, and we have everything to fight for. If we can’t stand up to this, then what type of race are we? Cowards? People who give in when the going gets tough? Willing to abandon our morals and each other? We have to show these things who they’re messing with and that we won’t back down from a fight. We need this whole fucking universe to know that Earth isn’t to be messed with, and if you try to take it away from us, you’re going to have one hell of a fight.”

For a moment, we simply
stand in stunned silence at Hank’s impassioned speech.

“She’s not going—”

“What do you want then, Marduke? We’ll hide her away and she can have a nice sleep until this is all over? If you think Mattie is that type of person, then you need to consider that you don’t know her at all.”

Marduke’s hand over my shoulder tenses and it’s a
lmost painful.

“Stop guys, just stop. I’m right here and I have a voice and a brain and I can make my own decisions. I don’t want to stay here and do nothing. You’re right
, Hank; we have a duty to fight this, and I’m going with you into that forest. But if things go wrong or something feels off, then we run. We’re not heroes, and I’m not willing to die today or any day in the near future. I want to see Earth again.”

“Mattie, think about the b—”

As I quickly stomp my foot over Marduke’s to stop him speaking, he gasps in pain at my sudden and unexpected attack.

“Can we have a few minutes to talk? When are we leaving?” I quickly ask Hank.

He stares at Marduke for a moment, looking puzzled that I just purposely hurt him. “We’re getting our packs together now. I’ll come and find you again when we’re ready to go.”

“Okay, thanks.” I nod at him and watch for him to be out of hearing range before I round on Marduke.

“You can’t tell him I’m pregnant! You’ll get us all killed!” I hiss angrily.

“Well, you appear to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself. What
are you thinking? Is this because you don’t want this baby? Is this your way of ensuring you never have it? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

I gape at his words. “You know
, Hank is right. Maybe you don’t know me. I’m not a coward, Marduke, and I won’t be forced into being one. This baby might change a lot, but it won’t change me. Honestly, I don’t know what I want to do because I’ve had less than a day to process this baby news. How long have you known and kept it from me?” I glare at him because, if my using alien technology was a giveaway for the doctor, then it was a giveaway for Marduke, too, when I stumbled on his spaceship over a week ago. Yet he conveniently kept that to himself.

I don’t give him the chance to answer, too worked up and angry now. “But if anyone finds out who you really are, and knows that I’m pregnant, then how long do you think this baby will survive? How long will I live after ev
eryone finds out what I’ve done?”