“Toni. Honey, you need to get up. It’s almost noon and you need to go see your dad.”
David’s large hands gently swept across the tops of my arms as his lips bent down and grazed my shoulder blades. Wiggling back against him, I wasn’t ready to wake up. This was the best I had slept in months. Seeing I had no intention of moving, he ripped away the sheets from my body.
“Fuck, Toni, get up!”
Sitting up startled, I looked around confused until I saw the large pool of crimson by my leg. He picked me up and ran me to the bathroom, gently setting me in the tub afraid.
“Are you okay? Are you dizzy? Fuck, what happened?”
I ran my fingers down the blood-soaked bandages and wiped away the caked streams.
“I probably drank too much last night and it thinned out my blood. When that bitch grabbed my leg, it might have busted the sutures loose. Get some scissors so we can look.”
He walked into another room and returned with a pocketknife. “Sorry, this is all I got; you need to make do.”
Flipping open the handle, I placed the knife between my teeth while I loosened the tape away from the skin. With a few rough sawing motions, I freed the medical adhesive and was able to see the wound a little better.
“Hey, will you go in the living room and grab that stuff we got at the drugstore? I’m going to need to clean this out a little better.”
While he headed out again, I started to slide my shorts down, knowing I would need a shower. I was still dressed in the clothes from last night; the tank was covered in beer and cigarette smoke. Seeing me sitting in my bra and panties, David stopped as soon as he hit the door.
“You’ve seen me naked before. Get over it, and help me clean this shit up.”
Rather than smiling as I expected, he knelt down to the side of the tub and gently peeled away the tape and picked up the peroxide, pouring it over the wound. It foamed up and began to sting immediately, causing me to hiss loudly.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
He started to pour more as I watched the orange-tinted liquid flow down the drain. The wound was slightly open, but all the stitches remained in tact. I must have laid on it wrong at some point through the night, or the bandages rubbed the wrong way.
“I will go get you a towel, and then you can shower, and I’ll help you bandage it up when you’re done.”
Closing the door, I stripped off the rest of my garments and started to run the warm water. The special cleaner I bought was sitting in the bag next to the tub and smelled terrible. I knew I would be at the bar again tonight, so I took extra time shaving my legs while I was at it. After turning off the water, I called to David to return. Before he had a chance to pop his arm through the shower curtain with the towel, I ripped back the vinyl and held my arms out expectantly. He moved slowly as his eyes traveled from my breasts down lower and returned.
“You didn’t look like that back then.” He reached around and gently wrapped the towel around my body, tucking the ends in the front.
“Well, you can stop staring at my tits every chance you get now that you know what they look like, okay?”
I giggled while stepping out of the shower and sat down on the toilet, propping my leg on the side of the tub. David rifled through the bag and removed the tube of antibiotic and packages of gauze and tape. Tearing through the paper with his teeth, he lightly pressed the cotton square over the stitches.
“I don’t just stare at your tits, although they are fantastic. I stare at you. I never thought I would see you again, much less have you talk to me. I’m waiting to wake up and find out that this was some fucked up dream I had. I’m just trying my best to remember everything I can before that happens.”
My lips curled down against my will into a frown. I knew all too well the feeling he was fighting within as I too battled those demons. I reached out and gently stroked the side of his face as he cared for my wounds. Without a word, I cocked my head to the side and took him in. I leaned forward and kissed the top of his head and brought him close.
“Just don’t close your eyes too long, okay?”
He stood and left me alone in the bathroom to finish getting ready. After digging through my suitcase, I realized I needed different clothes if I was going to be helping at the bar for a while.
“Hey David, if you have time, can we go into town? Or you can just drop me off at the house and I can get the truck. I need some stuff from town.”
He came back into the bedroom, brushing his teeth. “Yeah, I got nothing. We can go and see your dad for a bit, too.”
I smiled and then turned to slide into my flip flops and get a cup of coffee before we headed out.
David dropped me off at a mall a few blocks from the strip where I found a little place that sold exactly what I would need: lots of black camisoles and washed denim shorts. I picked up a giant men’s belt buckle and a straw fedora while I was at it. I skipped the cute heels and found a pair of tan cowboy boots. The chance I would need to kick some drunken piece of shit after I’d been on my feet for a few hours came to mind as soon as I saw them. Loading the bags into the car, I couldn’t help but smile as we drove to the hospital.
“You seem pretty excited. Was there a clearance sale on granny panties?”
I nodded up and down. “Fuck yeah, full ass coverage, wedgie proof, you know it!”
David bit his knuckle, laughing as we sped down the road. I was able to walk pretty well when we got to the hospital, so he left me for a while to go and pick up some more supplies for the bar.
I held my daddy’s hands and brushed along the scruff growing on his chin. Even unconscious, he was still so roguish and handsome. His arms were covered in turquoise ink from days gone by. Spider-webs ran along his elbows together with skulls and swords. There were naked women and military symbols of his travels around the world. A few peeked out from his chest underneath the light blue hospital gown. My daddy, the tough guy, holding on with everything he had.
“I went to the bar last night, Daddy. I beat the shit out of your girlfriend. You know she was stealing, right? Should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless. Oh, and I love the girls behind the bar. They are amazing. I didn’t get to meet the dancers, but I will tonight. I promised I would come and help out. The place needs some structure, if that’s possible. David’s doing a good job, but you know, other things.”
I felt the tears start to warm up beneath my eyes.
“Daddy, I need you to wake up, please, I don’t know what to do. Ever since I got here, me and David…God, we’re going round and round. I was so wrong, Daddy; I had no idea. He didn’t mean to hurt me. I’m sorry I did that to you. I know I can’t change it, but if I could, I would take it back. I would take so much back. I have been so rotten. Please wake up so you know I am sorry.”
My chest started to rattle as I cried my heart out. I wanted nothing more than my father to wake up and know I loved him. When Father Joseph told me to come back here, I thought he was crazy, but now I knew why he told me to do it. This is where it started, and this is where it would end. My broken marriage hadn’t even crossed my radar since I arrived, which was a sign something more was at play. I confessed I thought about other men all the time, and nothing even came close compared to the lust racing in my veins every second I spent with David. Those daydreams that tortured me now seemed like commercials playing during a movie…nothing more than a fragment of the big picture.
“I think I’m in trouble, Daddy.”
Resting my head against his chest, I didn’t hear David walking through the door and into the room. His hand rested on my shoulder and squeezed lightly.
“You ready?”
Startled and scared that he heard my conversation, I looked wide-eyed at him for a moment. If he had, he gave nothing away.
“Yeah.”
Kissing my daddy on his forehead, I grabbed David’s hand as we made our way to the elevator. I leaned into him while riding down and closed my eyes, thanking God for this moment. I could be doing this alone, but I wasn’t. He gave me someone who knew exactly what I was feeling when I needed it the most. I squeezed his hand and brought it to my mouth, gently pressing my lips against his thumb. He squeezed back, knowing what I meant.
The ride back was quiet. We pulled into his driveway, and I retrieved my bags, then crawled back into bed after turning on the swamp coolers. David crawled into the bed with me. It was Saturday, which meant that tonight The Spur was going to be packed, and I needed all my energy. We napped in each other’s arms until seven o’clock when the alarm on his cell phone woke us up. Digging into my bags, I pulled out one of the outfits I bought and got dressed. When I walked into the living room, he gave a low whistle as I circled around.
“What exactly are you trying to prove in that, woman?”
I winked and picked up my purse while heading to the door. “That I know what the fuck I am doing.”
I walked into the Spur feeling like a rock star. No longer were there questions of who was in charge. Something unfamiliar and intoxicating came over me. I trailed my fingers along the patrons sitting at the bar as I made my way past to the opening at the end. Smiles followed me all around as the new queen bee took her place. The girls grinned as I picked up my bottle opener and shoved it in my back pocket while finding my spot. The coolers were empty, not a good sign so early in the night.
“Who is the bar back? There’s no excuse for this shit!”
Kelsie pointed in the corner to a young girl making out with her boyfriend at the end of the counter. Frustrated, I made my way over and stood in front of her, waiting for her to notice I was there. When it didn’t happen, I picked up the soda handle and sprayed them both with water.
“If you work here, then work. If not, get the fuck out.”
Both of them just sat there, shocked that they were soaked. Disgruntled, the girl hopped off her boyfriend’s lap and slinked under the bar. Obviously irritated, she started to stock the dispensers with a large pack of cocktail napkins.
I walked behind her and yelled in her ear, “Loose the ‘tude, baby. I can replace you in a heartbeat.”
She suddenly smiled and picked up the pace. Grabbing the boxes of beer from the back cooler, I went to help her get caught up.
“I don’t know what you’re used to here, but shit’s going to change.”
I knew she thought I was a major bitch, but she was getting tipped out for doing a job. If she wasn’t doing her job, she didn’t deserve any tips. There were no issues the rest of the night, and the girls looked to me with gratitude.
“That’s Lisa, Nichele’s little sister; she’s not use to being bossed around.”
I winked. “If she plans on working here, she sure as hell better get used to it.”
They all smiled and went about taking care of the customers as I made sure everything fell into place. This wasn’t anything that I expected to be doing, but I was actually having fun. For the first time in years, I loved what I was doing.
David would occasionally come behind the bar, but I would wave him away. When the others smiled broadly, he knew I had it under control. The place roared with excitement and grew humid from the sweaty bodies. I watched as the girls moved about on stage, earning their money with every swing of their hips. They worked hard, I could tell. I was always so judgmental, but I saw it with new eyes. One of the girls came to the bar and shoved her way past the patrons.
As she held out a five, I walked over to her.
“What do you need, honey?”
“Just water, if you don’t mind.”
I glanced at her bill and refused it. Did she seriously expect to tip for water? I grabbed two glasses and filled them up. She downed them both and looked grateful. When she placed the five down again, I pushed it back.
“It’s water, keep your money.”
She reached out her hand, which I took and shook heavily.
“Jodie, pleasure.”
Jodie was one of the most attractive ones. I could tell she was younger, but she held an air of confidence. With dark, long, shiny tresses, and seductive brown eyes, she could charm the wallet out of any one of these sorry bastards. Her tan skin was kissed perfectly by the desert sun, and her body was rock solid from her pole acrobatics. As she walked away, I watched as several men simply slid bills in her garter just for stopping by. When she graced the stage, she captured the attention of the whole room.
I knew I would like this girl. She was no nonsense. I met a few of the others through the course of the night, but she certainly stood out.
After announcing last call, I finished the rush and went to take a break in the office. Emptying the bottle of water, I looked up and noticed the row of ledgers on the top shelf. Being nosy, I took one down and started to glance over the entries.
Seven hundred dollars, Sloan Elementary Football. Six hundred and forty dollars, Sloan Baptist Church food pantry. Nine Hundred dollars, Sloan’s Children’s Land. Over and over, I absorbed every line. Hundreds of thousands of dollars were used to support local needs. My father was keeping this town alive. I sunk to the floor, holding the books.