Rough & Rowdy (Notorious Devils #1) (21 page)

I’m pinched, slapped, yanked on, and yanked down.

I stopped wearing my hair in a ponytail on day two, when a man yanked on it to get me to sit on his lap. Now, for the past year, I’ve been wearing it in a high bun on top of my head.

I’ve lost weight since working here. Not just baby weight, either. I’ve legitimately lost weight. I’m smaller than I've ever been, My legs are looking fan-fucking-tastic, but I’m
tired
.

Running around the club, serving drinks, and then running after an active toddler when I’m off—it takes a lot out of a girl.

Mary-Anne has been a godsend, but she’s finishing up school and she’s ready to go somewhere else. I can see it in her eyes. She has the itch to ditch this town, and I don’t blame her one bit.

Tomorrow, I’m going to tell her to go. She’s making money on her business venture and she’s young; she needs to see the world. What she doesn’t need is the responsibility of a baby that isn’t hers. Bear is mine, he’s all mine, and I can’t rely on her or anybody else a minute longer.

“How you doing tonight?” Candy asks as she inputs an order into the cash register.

“Tired,” I admit. She smirks.

“Your nights about to get even busier,” she says. I furrow my brow in question.

“Club’s doing a patch-in. You didn’t know? It’s
your
private room they rented,” I groan.

I hate patch-in parties.

I wish they did them at the clubhouse and not here. This means that after my shift, I have to stay at least two more hours, if not longer, and serve drinks while they
watch
strippers,
fuck
strippers, and
fuck
clubhouse whores.

It’s complete debauchery and it means Katie Powell, otherwise known as
Kitty,
will be here.

I can’t stand that little bitch.

I grab my phone out from behind the bar and make a phone call to Mary-Anne, explaining that I most likely won’t be home until after six in the morning. Luckily, she doesn’t have classes tomorrow, so she’s happy to get up with Bear and watch him during the day while I try and catch up on sleep.

“Mary okay with watching the little man?” Candy asks. I nod as I take the lined up shots and beers for the ass-slapping bachelor party.

“Yeah, but I’m going to have to let her be free. I’m going to encourage her to travel. She can’t hang around and be my babysitter forever,” I say with a sad smile.

“She can’t, but she would,” Candy point out. I nod.

“That’s why she can’t stay,” I say sadly as I take my tray and turn to leave. I can feel Candy’s pity burning a hole into my back.

I’ve been saving my tips like crazy, spending as little money as I need to, so that, hopefully, I can go back to work during the day somewhere without taking a huge hit to my savings. I have one year left until Pierce is released, but I have no idea if he’ll come back to me or be done with me. At this point, I have a feeling that he’s done. No man sits in prison for two full years without contact, still wanting the woman he left behind.

My heart aches, not only for myself, but for Bear.

Will he ever know his daddy?

Once the club closes down, I take a deep breath and watch as the members of the Notorious Devils MC waltz through the doors. Girls in barely-there outfits hang off of the men as they head toward their designated room. Candy chews on the bottom of her lip and gives me a worried look.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay and help?” she asks. I shake my head. Candy has a teenager at home, she doesn’t need to hang around here.

“Go home, girl. I got this,” I say with a lift of my chin. She squeezes my shoulder before she heads out the door.

I take a deep breath outside of the closed party room door and pray that this night of debauchery isn’t too traumatizing.

I plaster on my fake, bright smile and make my way inside. I hear the men shout my name as soon as I walk in. I like most of them. They’re dirty assholes, but they’re fun bastards, and I wonder why it was that Pierce tried to keep me hidden from them.

I spend the evening serving booze to a bunch of raunchy bikers, and by the end of the late night/early morning, I feel the need to bleach my eyeballs. Watching Bates fuck Kitty up on the stage while she ate out a stripper was just too freaking much for me to take.

Once I walk inside of my house, everything else melts away. The sight of my little man toddling around with a snack cup full of cheerios and a slobbery smile on his face makes everything worth it. He makes the late nights, the hard work, and the miles I walk in high heels all worth it. He is my life, my light, and there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

“How was it? You look beat to shit,” Mary-Anne says as soon as I collapse on the couch and bring my little man with me for a quick snuggle.

“Lechery at its finest. You really don’t want to know,” I say, laughing.

“They’re gross aren’t they?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.

“They really,
really
are,” I confess. “I wanted to talk to you before I fall into a comatose sleep.”

“Yeah?” she asks, looking confused.

“I don’t want you to stay here just because you think I need you. You have dreams, you have plans, you need to do them now,” I instruct, hoping that I’m not hurting her feelings. She can’t stay here, and I can’t be dependent on her.

“You know I’ll stay for as long as you need me. Living here has been fantastic; it’s been nothing like the life I had with my parents,” she says.

I know this. I know how bad her home life was. She’s told me more than Bates ever did. It’s sad and it’s horrible all at once.

“
Go
. Seriously, you only have this one life, Mary-Anne. Make the best of it,” I murmur, trying to keep my tears at bay.

Tears slip down my cheeks anyway. Mary-Anne wraps her arms around me and we embrace. She’s like a sister to me. I haven’t had Brentlee all this time, but I’ve had a sister in Mary-Anne, when I needed one most.

“Okay, I’ll figure stuff out this week. Will you help me pick a place to go?” she asks, looking so hopeful.

“Yeah. Somewhere sunny or somewhere wintery?”

“Sunny and beautiful,” she whispers.

I grin.
California
it is, then. I don’t tell her that. Instead, I place a kiss on her forehead before I pepper kisses all over my baby’s sweet cheeks, and then I go and pass out from complete exhaustion.

Later that evening, I make dinner for Mary-Anne, Bates, Bear, and myself. Tonight, Mary-Anne and I are going to tell Bates the plan. I’m sure he’s going to get all big brother protective about her leaving, but he knows what’s best for her. She needs her freedom and she needs to fly.

“You’re leaving, right?” he asks, shoving a bite of lasagna into his mouth.

“Yeah,” Mary-Anne confesses. I wonder how in the ever-loving hell he figured it out.

“Where to?” he asks around his food, not seeming pissed at all.

“California. I want the beach.” She grins widely and he nods once.

“I’ll set you up with cash to get you there. Only thing I ask is I get a call from you once a day, every day—that way I know you’re okay,” he informs her. My mouth drops open in surprise.

“Seriously?” she squeals. I can’t help but giggle at her elation.

“Yup. Now, what’re you gonna do?” he asks, pointing his fork at me.

“No clue.” I blow out a breath and he nods.

“Hows about I move into Mary-Anne’s room? That way you have a man around the house and help with Bear when I’m around?” he suggests.

I blink once before I grin. My heart skips a beat at this man. He’s so good, so kind, and so damn sweet. I can’t believe the lengths he’s willing to go to take care of me—of
us
. It is as if a switch is flipped inside of my head and I suddenly see him in a different light.

Bates
, my one constant these past few years.
Bates
, the man that is here, watching over me, helping me, and taking care of me. He’s smiling with straight white teeth, his dark hair messy and his eyes bright with his usual wicked gleam.

“I don’t want to cramp your style with the ladies, Bates,” I murmur. He grins back at me.

“Ain’t gonna cramp shit, babe. Got a clubhouse full o’ whores to suck and fuck, don’t need to wine and dine those bitches,” he says. Mary-Anne starts making gagging noises while I feel as though my stomach has completely dropped.

“Yeah, I know how you work, too. I was at that patch-in party last night,” I remind him.

At the time, I just ignored it; but today, now that I’m seeing him in this whole new light, it makes me sick. He’s a man and he’s here He’s kind and caring, helpful and sweet, even if he is screwing around like a whore. I caught Fury seconds from getting his dick sucked by Katie Powell, would it be so bad to want Bates for my own? Am I tricking myself into feeling more for him because he’s here, right here in front of me when Pierce can’t be? It doesn’t make me want him less. I’m confused. So confused.

“I do not want to know,” Mary-Anne says, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

“You really don’t,” I admit, shivering in fake disgust.

Bates just shrugs and continues to eat.
This is family
. This is what I envisioned when Pierce and I moved into this place. Now I’m sharing it with somebody else. I should be missing Pierce, but right now, I don’t. I have Bates, his smiles and his jokes, his love and his devotion—even if it’s not romantic.

This is what life is all about.

Loving, teasing, joking, and laughing.

I wish that my table could be complete with Pierce, Brentlee and Connellee, but would it? Would Pierce even be here if he were out of jail? I’ve lost faith in him, in the us that he painted a picture of in my head. I have my sweet baby boy, Mary-Anne, and Bates here with me, along with phone calls from Connellee touching base with me.

They are my family now.

I have to push everything and everybody else out of my mind. I have to focus on the present, not the
what-ifs
, or
could-bes.

Bates Lukin - Sniper

I take a deep hit off of the joint in my hand before I let it out and chase it with some whiskey.

We lost brothers today.

Not just a couple, a whole fuckin’ charter. Our brothers in Calgary, Canada are just gone. Fuckin’ obliterated.

Blown the fuck up.

It has those Aryan’s stink all over it.
Those bomb happy pieces of shit
. I was never so happy than when MadDog decided to finally cut ties with them. I hated being associated to them at all whatsoever. I’m not one hundred percent pure white, so they pretended I didn’t even exist when we had to make contact. Half Russian, a quarter African American, and a quarter Cherokee Indian was too mixed for their taste.
Fuck ‘em
. I ever see another one of those racist assholes again I’m going to put a bullet in their head.

“You doin’ okay?” Vault asks me as he slides up next to me. He’s our treasurer, our money guy.

“Yeah, just angry as fuck those assholes got the best of us,” I admit, downing another shot.

“You gonna tell Fury?” he asks, worry etched in his features.

I shake my head once.

No tellin’ what Fury would do being locked up the way he is. He’d be liable to find someone with Aryan tats and kill them, adding more time to his sentence. No, that surly bastard needs to come back as soon as possible.

“He don’t need to know a fuckin’ thing until he’s back on free ground,” I murmur.

“Fuckin’ truth,” Vault agrees, slapping my back.

“Need some company?” Kitty asks as Vault stands up to leave me to my drinking. I sigh and look away for a moment before I feel her hand slide up my thigh and cup my cock.

“Get another girl and I’m in,” I grunt. I turn to look at her and watch as her eyes light up. I think this bitch likes eating snatch more than any guy I’ve ever met.

Kitty runs off to find a willing victim and I take two more shots. I need to get drunk to fuck this dirty bitch. I need to get drunk to get my brothers off my mind. I need to get drunk to get the desire I have to take Kentlee as my own off of my mind. I can’t go there, not only is she lonely, she’s my friend. Nothing more.

I try telling my cock and my heart that, but they don’t fuckin’ listen. Every time she walks past me in her skimpy as shit little sleep shorts and tank, sans bra. Her fat tits and ass are typically not something I’m attracted to but fuck do I want all of her—or at least my cock does. My heart loves her for a completely different reason, she’s soft and gentle, I love that about her.

“Ready, baby,” Kitty says shaking my thoughts away. I look over and see a pretty redhead standing next to her.

Oh yeah, I’m fuckin’ this new little bitch tonight.

Fury

Twelve months.

Twelve measly months.

That’s all the time I have left in this hell.

I know one thing. I ain’t never coming back here again. Fuck this shit.

I can’t wait to be free. To eat, do, go, and fuck what I want, when I want, and where I want. Although, maybe not the fucking part. I still only dream of one pussy I want to fuck each night, and that’s Kentlee’s.

I close my eyes and try to remember the way she smelled. Light and fruity, some bullshit girlie lotion she bought that smelled like cherry blossoms or some shit, but it was her. I miss the way she smiled at me, the way her eyes would light up when I would pull her close to me. The way she moaned and whimpered while she was around my cock. Fuck, her whimpers were my undoing.

I wonder what she’s doing right this minute. Late on a Friday night. She’s probably home from work with Bear. Giggling and cuddling with the little man. Little guy can already walk, apparently. He can say a few words, too.

I’m missing so much, but it’s a sacrifice I need to make. No way am I going to meet my kid for the first time in lock up.
Fucking hell
. I want to be able to hold him in my arms without somebody telling me
not too close, not too tight, and keep your hands where we can see them
.

Fuck that.

An involuntary tear slips from my eye, and I’m glad that I’m alone. Prison is not the place to cry. I can’t help myself, though.