Authors: Mildred Colvin
“Blake said you had changed.” Janice smiled. “He was right, but I don’t think he really understands what has brought about the change. Blake and his father both need prayer, Tessa. I hope you’ll join with me in praying for them. I wouldn’t ask, but Blake said he’s been seeing you again, and I believe you care for him whether you want to or not. Maybe as much as he cares for you and those boys.”
Tessa thought of little else the rest of the day after Janice left. The implication that Blake cared for her rang in her mind and heart the whole time she waited on customers and stocked the shelves. Throughout the afternoon, she prayed for Blake’s dad and mentioned Blake’s name even more than usual. She also thanked God for Janice and her visit.
After closing, Tessa decided to drive across town to the shelter. Peggy welcomed her and together they walked into the house.
“We have a couple of new girls since you were here last.”
“Along with the three others?”
“Well, not exactly.” Peggy hesitated before saying, “Sometimes I wonder if we’re beating our heads against the wall, so to speak.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you remember Cindy?”
Tessa nodded. “The young woman who had been beaten?”
“That’s the one.” Peggy sighed. “She isn’t here anymore. All the women who come here have been abused in some way, but there was something special about that girl. She went back to that brute who will probably kill her one of these days. That wasn’t the first time he’d hit her, and it won’t be the last.”
Tessa’s heart sank at the news. Cindy was one of the main reasons she’d stopped today. The girl had touched her heart in a way most of the women didn’t, maybe because she felt kinship to her. She could imagine what Cindy’s life might be like, and she didn’t like the images that came to mind.
Setting aside her discouraging thoughts, she said, “I’m really sorry to hear that. I’ll continue to pray for her.”
Peggy nodded. “You and me both.”
After one week without a word from Blake, Tessa headed for the nearest window whenever she heard a car drive by and sprang for the phone each time it rang. Even at work, she became aware of every visitor and scanned the halls hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But Blake didn’t show up at her office or at home. When he finally called on Friday evening, she was surprised to hear his voice.
“Hey Tessa, how would you like to go for a walk with me?”
“Where have you been all week?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could call them back.
He chuckled. “Miss me, did you?”
“Of course not.” Since her response was not exactly honest, she added, “About the same I’d miss a wart on my hand.”
He laughed. “I’m glad to hear you missed me, Tessa. I’ve been busy, but I want to make it up to you tonight. May I come by?”
She shrugged even though he couldn’t see her. No reason to seem as eager as she felt. “If you want to.”
“Great! I’ll be there before you hang up.”
The phone went dead in her hand at the same time a knock sounded at the front door. She shook her head as she went to answer it.
“What if I’d said no?” She greeted him with her hands on her hips and what she hoped was a stern look.
He snapped the holster at his side over his cell phone and grinned. “I guess I’d have gotten back in the car and left with a broken heart.”
“Oh sure.” His heart probably wasn’t in nearly as much danger as hers was.
He peeked past her. “Where are the boys?”
“Oh, so you really came to see them?”
“Of course not. Just wanted to make sure I have you all to myself.”
“The church youth group had a skating party tonight. They’ll be sorry they missed you.”
“I’m sorry to miss them, too, but I’m not sorry we’ll be alone. How about that walk? Are you game?”
“Okay.” She stepped out, closing the door. Why did he want to be alone with her? Did he suspect Derek was his son? She tried to read his expression but found nothing to cause the heavy beating of her heart.
“What about your key?”
“A little late to be asking that now, isn’t it?” She smiled at him and patted her jeans pocket. “I carry my keys with me.”
“Then we’re all set.” He took her hand as they fell into step.
The late August evening held a touch of autumn in the air. Tessa lifted her face to a cooling but gentle breeze and felt as if her feet barely touched the sidewalk.
They walked around a couple of blocks while talking about nothing important. Tessa desperately wanted to use the time to convince Blake that he didn’t need a bar in his restaurant, but she struggled to find the right words to open the subject. Before she did, they returned to her house.
“I could do with a glass of water.”
Tessa glanced at Blake, unsure if she should let him in her house with the boys gone. They stepped on the porch, and she unlocked the door while a prayer for strength flew from her mind to God’s throne.
Blake followed her to the kitchen and perched on the edge of the table while she filled two glasses with ice water.
“Derek might want to go out for sports in school. He did great this summer.”
Tessa froze at the sink. She couldn’t turn around for fear he would read the truth in her eyes. She nodded. “Yes, he’s good at sports, but so are the other two.”
“They are, aren’t they?” Did she hear pride in his voice? “Seth’s got a head on his shoulders, but he’s no bookworm. And Rob is a natural leader. You’ve got some great boys, Tessa.”
“Thanks.” She handed him a glass and took a sip from hers.
“I’m fond of every one of them.” He downed a fourth of the water in his glass. “When I saw you in my restaurant, I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
She held her breath while he continued.
“I wanted to pick up where we left off eleven years ago. You know.” He gave her a look so intense she turned away. “But I know now that isn’t going to happen, and I respect you for what you’ve done for yourself. I’ve never felt the same about any other woman, Tessa. There’s something special between us. So special, we’d do wrong to throw it away again.”
She couldn’t move, and she couldn’t respond. In fact, she didn’t understand what he was trying to say, until he spoke again.
“How about it, Tessa? Will you marry me?”
The moist glass slipped in her fingers. She set it on the counter as her gaze flew to his. For some reason the image of Cindy sitting on the sofa at the shelter came into her mind. Cindy with bruises covering her face and swelling still distorting her features.
A scripture from 2 Corinthians admonished her.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”
Blake didn’t know God’s forgiveness. He refused invitations to church. He was going to sell alcohol in his restaurant. She could not marry a man who believed he had no need for God just because he lived an upright life.
While part of her brain cried yes, she shook her head and whispered, “I can’t.”
Blake stood, turning her to face him, leaving his hands on her shoulders. “I never forgot you, Tessa. In all those years, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I know I hurt you when I left, and I’m sorry. Mom said she asked your forgiveness for the way she treated you, and now I’m asking, too.”
“Oh Blake, I forgave both of you long ago. It’s past. Let’s forget it.”
“Okay, but our feelings for each other are not in the past, Tessa.”
She watched the gold flecks in his dark brown eyes draw closer and knew he would kiss her. She could have stopped him, but she’d waited a long time for his kiss. Surely one wouldn’t hurt.
Tessa’s heart swelled with a love so great all reason fled. One kiss turned into another, and she didn’t know what might have happened if a commotion at her front door hadn’t brought her to her senses.
“Mom, we’re home.”
Rob’s voice penetrated the fog surrounding her as another verse from 1 Corinthians reassured her.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Blake whispered, “We’re not finished, Tessa.” He backed away, the intensity in his eyes burning her heart. “I promise, I’m not giving up on us.”
T
essa woke Saturday morning with Blake’s promise running through her mind and the desire to see her mother driving her from bed. She showered and dressed in jeans and a knit shirt. When she left her room, she knocked on the boys’ door then stuck her head in.
“Hey guys, how would you like to go see Grandma?”
“Sure.” Derek scrambled from bed first. “What’re we gonna go see her for?”
The two older boys sat up. Seth rubbed his eyes.
Rob swung his legs over the side of his bed and grinned. “What difference does it make? You like seeing Grandma. She’s pretty cool for an old lady.”
“You’d better not let her hear you say she’s old.” Tessa laughed. “She might challenge you to an arm wrestle.”
“She’d probably win, too.” Rob patted his stomach. “Does she know we’re coming? Last time we popped in, she didn’t have any cookies baked.”
“I’ll call while you’re getting dressed.” Before pulling the door closed, Tessa added, “If you’re going to pig out on cookies, you’d better eat oatmeal this morning. I’ll get some water boiling.”
An hour later Tessa pulled into her mother’s driveway. The door opened and her mom, in jeans and a long overblouse, stepped out on the porch. She stood with her arms crossed until they reached the porch.
“It’s about time you decided to come see me.” She grabbed Derek and Seth in a double hug and reached for Rob, too.
Tessa stood back while the boys lapped up the attention from their grandmother, then followed the group into the house.
“Did you bake cookies, Grandma?” Rob asked.
“You bet. Go look in the kitchen. There’s milk in the fridge. When the cookies are gone, look in the backyard. I saw a stray kitten out there this morning.” She shooed them off and watched until they disappeared through the doorway. “Every time I see them, they’ve grown at least an inch. Every one of them.”
Tessa laughed. “Didn’t you just see them Sunday at church?”
Her mom shrugged. “Sure, but that was almost a week ago. So what are you doing today? Just visiting, or you got something on your mind?”
“How do you do that?” Tessa sank into a chair and stared at her mother.
“Do what?” The older woman settled on the sofa.
“Know when something is bothering me or when I need something?” She shook her head. “It’s weird, Mom. When I come over to talk, you just plop down to listen. When I want to borrow something, you conveniently have it ready for me. If someone has hurt my feelings, you hug me. How do you do it?”
Her mother laughed. “There’s nothing weird about reading your moods, Tessa. You’re my daughter. My only child. Right now you’ve got a little frown line between your eyes. You could be angry or hurt or worried, but I don’t think so. My guess is that you’re trying to make some sort of decision. Am I right?”
“Of course you’re right.” Why hadn’t her mom cared so much sixteen years ago? She pinched the bridge of her nose. She shouldn’t complain about her mother’s neglect and indifference in the past. Rather, she needed to enjoy the wonderful relationship God had given them in the present.
“So tell me what put that wrinkle on your forehead.” Her mother smiled. “The boys can’t hear, and I don’t gossip. My guess is it’s a man.”
Tessa looked toward the ceiling and shook her head. She mumbled under her breath, “I really can’t believe this.”
“Aha, I’m right.” Mom sat up straighter. “So are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”
“I should make you guess.” Tessa crossed her arms and frowned at her mother. “Yes, I have a problem. And yes, it has a whole lot to do with a man.”
Her mother laughed. “You know, eight years ago what you just said would have struck terror in my heart. I would have immediately assumed you were pregnant. Now I know better.”
Tessa shook her head. “No, that isn’t it, I assure you. But my problem is just as real.”
“I take it you haven’t fallen in love with a wonderful Christian man who will make my grandsons the perfect father?”
Tessa picked a nonexistent piece of lint from her sleeve. “I guess two out of three isn’t bad.”
Her mother stared at her in silence before saying, “Two out of three. Does that mean you’ve fallen in love with a wonderful Christian man who has terrible fathering skills?”
“Now you’re down to one out of three.”
“I can’t believe this.” Her mother grinned. “You are making me guess. Something says you’re afraid to tell me.”
“You are good at reading me, aren’t you?” Tessa shook her head. “Give up?”
“Oh no.” Her mother held up her hand as if to stop Tessa’s words. “I’m sticking to the ‘fallen in love’ part. We wouldn’t be going through this if you didn’t care, now, would we?”
Tessa inclined her head. “Yep, you are good.”
“So good that I’m going to reverse numbers two and three and say you’ve fallen in love with a nonbeliever who has great fathering skills. Am I right?”