Royal Digs (9 page)

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Authors: D. D. Scott

Tags: #wall street, #elections, #humorous fiction, #political humor, #presidential elections, #drag queens, #dd scott, #elections 2012, #cozy cash mysteries

BOOK: Royal Digs
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Ross laughed again. This time out loud.

“C’mon, Grayson. You know that’s
your
style, but definitely not mine. I’m the guy who’s hands on,
remember?”

“All I know, Roswell, is that if you’d be a
little more hands on with all these fine ladies around here, you
wouldn’t be a billionaire bachelor with no prospects in site,”
Grayson remarked, taking time away from their conversation to
dazzle the women at the next table with his I’m-all-yours,
for-the-night, smile.

“Whatever. I don’t have time for women.
Besides, some of these groups are doing very important work. And
you know I like to see how my money is used,” Ross said, wishing he
could do more than just read each group’s brochures and websites
before figuring out how much to write his check for.

 

Not only did he have a tendency to be a goody
two-shoes, in Grayson’s opinion, Ross was a little too particular
when it came to women. Grayson could count on one hand the number
of relationships Roswell had in his lifetime. Not that Grayson was
keeping track. It’s just that he worried about his friend
sometimes.

“All work and no playing around isn’t
healthy, my friend. After you’ve given away all of your money, what
then? If you keep this up you might end up penniless
and
lonely.”

“Here we go again,” Ross said. “Every year
it’s the same thing.”

Grayson had read too many stories of goodwill
where the money went straight into the pockets of those claiming to
help others. He, like his friend, was bombarded with requests for
money every single day. Sure, maybe a few dollars trickled down to
somebody in need, but who really knew how much of the check did any
good?

“My uncle Frank is proof that you need to be
careful who you give your money to. After surviving prostate
cancer, Frank started a Walk for Life program, only to discover
that the largest portion of his donation was going to the hefty
salaries given to top executives of the organization.”

Roswell gave him one of his I’ve-heard-it-all
before looks.

“We need to be careful, Roswell, that’s all
I’m saying.”

“I’ll tell you what, Grayson. Since you’re so
fond of talking about fraudulent charities, I think you should put
your money where your mouth is and straighten this out once and for
all.”

Ross ignored his friend’s scowl and added,
“Pick a charity tonight, but not just any charity. Whichever one
you choose is the one that will get one hundred percent of your
Christmas Club Account—”

“I don’t—”

“Hear me out first,” Ross said. “Tonight I
want you to choose one charity to give your money to.”

“It would take me all night to choose one,”
Grayson said. “You pick.”

Ross looked over the brochure and stabbed his
finger halfway down the middle of the second page. “There.
The
Next Step
. It sounds perfect. The organization helps the
homeless get back on their feet so that they can interview and
apply for jobs. By Monday you’ll be a recipient of those very
funds.”

Grayson laughed. “To be a recipient would
mean that I would have to be homeless.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay,” Grayson said, not taking any of this
too seriously, “then you’ll do the same for this organization.”

He closed his eyes and pointed. “
From
Dreams to Reality
, an organization to help women realize their
dreams.”

Roswell’s face turned a light shade of
mustard yellow. “What does that even mean?”

“I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?”

Ross quickly realized he had nothing to worry
about. The chance of his good friend going through with this
lunatic idea was two billion to one.

“Care to double our bet?” Ross asked,
enjoying watching his friend squirm in his seat.

“What do you mean?” Grayson asked, fixing his
bow tie, which didn’t need fixing at all.

“I mean...starting Monday, you’re homeless
and I’m helping women realize their dreams. Whoever makes the
greatest impact by New Year’s Day, the other one doubles the money
the winner donated to the cause.”

“Interesting. I like it. Yes. I like my odds
very much. You’ve been out of the female world for so long, you’re
gonna be in some kind of waaay over your head,” Grayson said,
winking at one of the women who more than likely wanted nothing
more from him than a shot at being one of next season’s Real
Housewives of New York.

“That may be true. But imagining you, my
friend, not only without your butler, but without your mansion too?
Well...that reminds me of a very Dan Aykroyd Trading Places kind of
moment.”

“I haven’t had time to watch that movie in
years,” Grayson said, picking up his topped off champagne
flute.

“Well, no matter, since we’re going to be
living it. On our own terms, of course,” Ross added, clinking his
glass to his friend’s. “Cheers. And may the best man win.”

“Cheers indeed. Now this is what I call
celebrating the season of giving,” Grayson said, hoping like hell
he’d have the same kind of hot-mess help that Aykroyd had found in
Jamie Lee Curtis.

 

THE BILLIONAIRES’ CHRISTMAS CLUB (Coming for
the 2012 Holiday Season)

ABOUT D. D.
SCOTT

 

 

 

D. D. Scott is an Amazon and Barnes &
Noble Top 100 Bestselling Romantic Comedy and Humorous Mystery
Author. She’s a Writer’s Go-To-Gal for Muse Therapy, plus the #1
Amazon Bestselling Author of Muse Therapy: Unleashing Your Inner
Sybil and the Co-Founder of
WG2E

The Writer’s Guide to E-Publishing - your destination site for
Everything E-Publishing, and Founder of
RG2E
– The Reader’s Guide to Epublishing – the destination site for
all-things Ereading. You can get all the scoop on her, her books,
her Muse Therapy Online Classes and Live Workshops, plus juicy
tidbits too from her website
D. D.
Scott-ville
.

 

Full Bio:

 

D. D. Scott’s bestselling romantic comedies
are all about sexy, sassy, smart, career-driven women and the men
who complete them. They’re a bit chick lit with a gone-country
twist...and now a humorous mystery, comedic caper twist too. Her
Bootscootin’ Books - think Sex and The City meets Urban Cowboy –
debuted August 2010, on Amazon’s Kindle, Barnes & Noble’s Nook
and at Smashwords, with BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, followed by STOMPIN’
ON STETSONS and BUCKLES ME BABY. Now, The Bootscootin’ Characters
are gettin’ “cozy”...as in Comedic Caper cozy, with the release of
THUG GUARD, LIP GLOCK and CARATS & COCONUTS, Books One, Two and
Three of her new, Cozy Cash Mysteries, featuring all of your fave
Bootscootin’ characters plus tons of quirky new characters too.

She’s a two-time Amazon Movers & Shakers
List Author (making it all the way to #2 on that prestigious list)
and has been both a featured author and her books have been top
picks – including one of the Top 10 Books for Mother’s Day 2011 -
for such superfab Ereader-centric Blogs as Ereader News Today
(ENT), Kindle Nation Daily, Cheap e-Reads, Pixel of Ink, The Frugal
eReader, Indie Books List, Only Romance, and Bargain eBooks. Her
blog posts on the Indie Epub World have been picked-up by
fantabulous blogs like Bufo Calvin’s I Love My Kindle. She can be
spotted all-week long on her one-million-hits-per-month grog The
WG2E, a writer’s destination site for all-things-Epublishing. She
often can also be found hangin’ on both the Kindle and Nook Boards,
her new site The RG2E, a reader’s destination site for all-things
Ereading, and has an active blog of her own on her website.

Also a Writer’s Go-to-Gal for Muse Therapy
and now the Amazon #1 Bestselling Author of MUSE THERAPY:
UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL, D. D. debuted her Muse Therapy Online
Classes in 2009 and her Live Workshops in 2010. Thanks to the
fabulous endorsement of Stephen Windwalker’s Kindle Nation Daily,
there’s a ton more fun and fascinating MUSE THERAPY adventures in
development.

D. D.’s first two short stories - The Mom
Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries – FLUID FULFILLMENT and LICENSED FOR
LOVE – released in October 2011, and a D. D. Scott Special Edition
Ebook Boxed Set followed in December 2011, which included all three
Bootscootin’ Books plus the first two Cozy Cash Mysteries. Her
brand new Serial Novels THE STUCK WITH A SERIES released in March
2012, with STUCK WITH A SCHMUCK and STUCK WITH A STIFF, along with
a total of 14 additional releases throughout 2012 and many more to
come in 2013.

Declaring 2011 to be “The Year of the E-Book
& Cross-Pollination”, D. D. co-founded and launched The
Writer’s Guide to E-Publishing, your destination site for
Everything E-Publishing. Whatever you want to know and/or cuss and
discuss about E-publishing, it’s right there at The WG2E waiting
for you as well as in her latest bestselling non-fiction book 10
YEARS AND 24 HOURS TO INDIE EPUBLISHING SUCCESS.

Declaring 2012 “The Year of the Reader”, she
founded The RG2E – The Reader’s Guide to Epublishing – a sister
site to The WG2E, which launched February 1, 2012 and is “the” new
destination site for the Best in Ereading, Ebook Gifting and
Ereader Giveaways too.

When she’s not writing, she’s busy luuuvin’
on her real-life hero “Sweet Man” and their beloved shelter-rescued
dog Buckley and his new playmate Siggy the Affenpinscher.

For updates on her books, her sexy, sassy,
smart neurotic writer’s life blog, and for a schedule of her
appearances, including Muse Therapy and Indie Epublishing Sessions,
visit her website
D. D.
Scott-ville
.

 

 

 

 

BOOKS BY D. D.
SCOTT

 

 

 

Welcome to D. D. Scott-ville, where “The
First One is On Me!”

In other words, the book that started it all
for me is FREE on all Ereading Platforms (Kindle, Nook, Sony, Kobo,
Apple, Diesel, Smashwords and more)!

 

Bootscootin’ Blahniks

 

All of my books are priced between 99 Cents
(fiction) and $2.99 (non-fiction, on-writing books), and here’s a
list of them in order, in case, like me, you like to read a series
from Book One on…:

 

The Bootscootin’ Books:

Other books

Haunting Warrior by Quinn, Erin
Devil-Devil by G.W. Kent
A Shrouded World (Book 2): Atlantis by Tufo, Mark, O'Brien, John
Care Factor Zero by Margaret Clark
Twice a Texas Bride by Linda Broday
Archon by Benulis, Sabrina
Sleepless in Las Vegas by Colleen Collins
Ancestor by Scott Sigler