Royal Opposites (10 page)

The manager smiled at Joan. “Sorry about that.”

He logged into the register and started scanning Joan’s items. “That was really cool what you just did. She’s in here all the time and never has enough to pay for everything. It’s so heartbreaking to watch her have to put stuff back.”

“I know what you mean. And thank you for being coupon friendly. I was worried there for a moment.” Joan moved her binder to the check writing stand and replaced the corporate policy before digging out her own coupons. “I hate having to whip out my corporate policies, but sometimes it’s necessary.”

The manager laughed. “Is that what that was? So awesome you carry it with you.”

“You’d be surprised how many cashiers are uneducated about coupons.” She glanced behind him at the cashier who was still glaring at her while slamming another customer’s items across the scanner. “Or maybe you wouldn’t.”

He gave her a one shouldered shrug. “It’s possible we could use a little more training in this area. Especially the part where we get the money back plus eight cents per coupon.”

Joan grinned. “You know something? I like you.” She watched him scan the last of her items. “I hope you’re still as likeable when you see what my total ends up being.”

The manager checked the amount due then slanted Joan a look. “You really think you’re going to do better with all this stuff than you just did with that woman?”

“If my calculations are correct, you guys are going be paying me when we’re done here.”

“But we don’t give money back.”

“I know.” Joan gave him a smile and sorted through all her coupons to hand them over in the appropriate order. Once the manager had scanned everything, he just shook his head in amazement.

“That’ll be three dollars and twenty eight cent.” Joan handed over a five dollar bill. “I thought you said we’d be paying you.”

“Wait for it.” Joan put her change away while the Catalina machine sprang to life. The manager laughed and pulled coupon after coupon out of the printer. He counted up the amounts.

“You just saved two hundred and thirty eight dollars without a card. And earned thirty-‐-seven dollars in coupons to use on your next visit.”

Joan winked. “See? Told you you’d be paying me. Take care.” Joan waved and wheeled the cart out to the parking lot. Tom was waiting for her outside the door with one pitiful little bag.

She enjoyed the way his jaw dropped to his chest when he saw everything she’d managed to get. He snapped it closed and frowned at her.

Joan gave him a bright smile. “Ready to go?”

“You’re such a cheater. Giving me twenty lousy dollars then using the rest for yourself. I couldn’t even get anything to drink,”

he groused while they headed to his car.

“If you’re real nice, I might share some of mine.”

“Of course you will. I can’t believe you made me think you could get us to Dallas on twelve hundred dollars. How much do we have left anyway?” He shot a pointed look at her cart.

She decided to string him along for a little while longer when they loaded the bags in the back seat of his car.

“Do you have any money left?” She asked with a super sweet tone, earning a glare from him when they got in the car. “I take that as a no.”

She pulled out her receipt. “So that leaves us with a grand total of one thousand, three hundred and thirteen dollars and seventy-‐-two cents.”

“See? I knew—how much did you say?”

“One thousand, three hundred and thirteen dollars.”

“You must be mistaken. We
spent
money.” He checked out his bulging backseat then refocused on her. “How did we come out with more money than we went in with? In addition to all that?”

She played her final ace. “Oh wait. I meant thirteen dollars and change.” With relish, she pulled seventy-‐-two cents from her bag along with thirty dollars’ worth of Catalinas and enjoyed the astonished look on his face. “I don’t know about you, but I’m set for food until we get to Dallas.”

Tom took one last look at his overflowing backseat then started the car’s engine. “Before you explain how you managed this,” he shifted into reverse then looked at her. “You are planning to share, right?”

Joan shrugged, but couldn’t hold back her grin. “You might be able to persuade me.”

He shook his head and backed from the space. “I just made the worst bet in my life didn’t I?”

“That’s one way to put it.”

They got back on the freeway and Joan gave him a crash course in extreme couponing. She shared her spoils with him and got pretty good at anticipating what he’d ask for next. They found that their tastes ran in pretty similar directions. The icing on the cake was that he didn’t laugh at her couponing skills. Or make her feel bad about having to develop them. In fact, the more they talked about it, the more in awe he sounded of her hobby.

Getting to know him better, not to mention discussing her favorite subject, took her mind off of her current predicament.

Truth be told, if she had to be on the run after being accused of such a serious crime, she couldn’t think of a person she’d rather be with.

Close to midnight, after they’d put over four hundred miles between them and Phoenix, she pulled out her phone and considered it for a minute. “We need a phone charger.”

Tom glanced her way and said around a yawn, “Just one?”

“We have the same phone.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” He yawned again. “Wait a minute there, your Royal Highness of Coupons. How did you manage that? I know you didn’t pay the full six hundred dollars for it. You would’ve had a heart attack on the spot and died.”

Joan tossed a smile his way in the darkened car interior and began a search for hotels. “You think you know me, don’t you?”

“Am I wrong?”

She kept her attention on the map. There didn’t seem to be any well-‐-known chains close to the highway they were on. This late at night, she didn’t want to risk getting too far away from the main thoroughfare and get lost. “What’s so bad about getting a good deal?”

“How much did you pay for the phone, Joan?”

At last she looked his way. “You’re not going to drop this are you?”

“No, I’m not.” He stretched his neck. “I just want to know exactly how bad I got hustled out of eight hundred grand.”

“I never expected you to give it to me anyway. It’s fine.” She returned her attention to the phone. Sure, she could use the money, but the last thing she wanted was for him to think she’d do less than pay her own way. It’s how she’d always been and she couldn’t imagine being any different now. “And I didn’t hustle anybody.”

The fact he thought she had hurt more than anything else. If not for the stupid bank, they wouldn’t even be together right now. Heck, they wouldn’t have even met. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she’d set him up as some kind of mark.

“I know you didn’t hustle me, Joan. It was a joke.” She turned to look at him when she heard his serious tone. Gave him a small smile.

“Thirty dollars out of pocket.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He gave a low whistle and shook his head. “I sure could’ve used you a couple weeks ago when my funds started to run low.”

“Run low?” What was she missing here? He was royalty.

And loaned money to the world. And what about the eight hundred grand he’d just bet?

“Yeah. We’re allotted a certain amount to live on during our year away. I don’t think the amount has been updated in decades. I almost had to get a job.”

Joan laughed. “A job? Oh, you poor thing.”

“Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. Isn’t that what you Americans say?”

“How much did you have left?”

Tom scrunched up his nose. “About seven thousand.”

Joan cracked up. “And that wasn’t nearly enough to survive on for another couple of weeks.”

“I’m glad you understand.”

“Do you know how much I earn in a month?”

He gave her a once over. “You are quite capable so I’d say at least fifteen thousand.”

She snorted. “Dude? Are you hiring?” Joan found a hotel on the map and zoomed in on the details. “Twenty five hundred.”

“Hundred thousand you mean.”

“No. And that’s before taxes. After taxes and rent, I have about nine hundred dollars a month to pay my bills. Then, I can eke out about twenty five dollars a month for groceries and miscellaneous items.” She nodded towards the back seat. “That’s why I have to know how to make a few dollars go so far.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t tell you this so you’d feel sorry for me. I wanted you to understand that it’s possible to live on a whole lot less.

People do it all the time. I’m glad I don’t have kids and a husband to take care of so I get by.” She pointed out the windshield. “Take the second exit.”

He nodded at the direction then asked, “So what do you do for fun? Where do you go? How do you treat yourself?”

“Then you’ll turn right at the stop sign. My treat is seeing my debt go away. That and couponing. It’s like a game for me. See how much stuff I can buy while paying the smallest amount out of pocket possible.” She bit her lip and debated telling him the next part. She felt him look at her.

“And? I’m sensing there’s more to the story. I’ve told you all my deep, dark secrets. No fair you holding out on me.”

The teasing note in his tone convinced her to go on. Why not? “The icing on the cake is helping people out, though. Not everyone has the patience to shop like I do so they pay a lot more for things. I keep a stockpile on hand. My friends know they’re always welcome to take what they need. I also keep a women’s shelter stocked. The last few months, they’ve been oversupplied, so I plan to add another shelter to my list.

“Once that’s done, I’ll order pizza or go to a restaurant once a month or something. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” She leaned forward to watch their progress. “The hotel will be the third driveway on the left.”

****

While Joan was watching in front of them, Tom was keeping an eye on the car behind them. Granted, they were on a major, well-‐-traveled interstate, but something about it just made him uneasy. For the last hour, he’d sped up, slowed down and still the car maintained the exact same distance behind them no matter what. They never got too close so he couldn’t confirm it was the guards. Not that it was likely. They’d done a good job of ditching them in Phoenix. How had they managed to catch up with them again already?

Tom watched the car take the same exit Joan had directed him to and his instincts went on full alert. No way was it a coincidence. He took in the bustling truck stop on the right and the gas stations on either side of the street. Okay. It could be a coincidence. Still, he didn’t think so. He pulled into the Burger King parking lot next to the truck stop and headed toward the drive thru. Joan turned to him with a disbelieving look on her face.

“You cannot be serious. You want to get more food when we have all that in the back seat?”

He didn’t want to alarm her so he gave her a one shouldered shrug and a lopsided grin. Still, he kept his eyes on the street. He relaxed a bit when he saw the car drive past the fast food place.

“You’re right. I wasn’t thinking.”

He headed toward the exit and waited for a big rig to chug past. He checked the progress of the other car. It had pulled a U-‐-

turn and was heading back toward them. Unwilling to let them trap them in the drive thru, Tom floored the accelerator and shot out of the parking lot.

“What are you doing?” Joan gripped at the dashboard.

“It’s probably foolish and I’ll feel like a big idiot in a moment, but I think our friends are back.”

“What?” Joan spun around to look at the car bearing down on them. His eyes flicked to the rear view mirror to see it fast closing in.

In a perfect world, Tom would’ve liked to get back on the highway, but the big rig was just beginning its laborious turn onto the on ramp. They were going way too fast for him to make the left onto the freeway to head back the way they’d come so Tom pushed the car as fast as it would go and stayed on the road that became tiny and country when they left the interstate behind. The other car stayed on their tail, leaving no doubt that somehow the guards had tracked them down.

“Can you find me a route back to the freeway? I think we need to get out of here.”

Joan was already a step ahead of him except she was shaking her head. “There’s nothing. Only this road. And it goes forever. We’d have to do a U-‐-turn.”

Tom checked the rearview after they thumped across a narrow bridge. The other car was gaining on them. Worse yet, it was riding down the center line of the two lane highway. Even if they did turn around, they’d never get past them.

“There’s a town or something a ways off. Let’s see.” She fiddled with the phone for a bit then nodded. “We can do a loop. If they follow us, we’ll be able to go back the way we came and get to the freeway.”

“How far is ‘a ways off’?” Tom asked.

He felt her look at him and knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. “Eight to ten miles.”

Tom gritted his teeth and kept the accelerator pressed to the floor. Dark shapes he guessed were trees raced by them. The speedometer crept past eighty and still the other car gained on them. It inched alongside their rear bumper. One thump would send them into a spin. Tom wouldn’t risk that.

“Hold on.”

Joan nodded and braced herself. Tom jammed both feet on the brakes. The other car shot by them. When they slowed, Tom spun the wheel hard to the left sending them around in a crazy loop that encompassed both shoulders. They bounced over something like a large rock before he got them back on the road and in control. He sped back the other way.

Joan checked the other car. “They’re turning around.”

Tom checked the rearview and watched their pursuers rejoin the chase. There was much more distance between them this time.

He pressed on the accelerator with all he had. The car responded, bringing them closer to the freeway and an escape route. If they could just make it.

A loud pop sounded, the car jerked up before tilting in a crazy dip toward the right front. The sudden shift sent them spinning around to the right. Tom had no control while they careened off the road. The rear of the car slammed into the bridge and sent it spinning back the other way. He glanced at Joan to see her clinging to the seat belt while the world around them whirled out of control.