Royal Prick (A Stepbrother Romance) (23 page)

“I… I never thought I would be the kind of girl to fall for you. We’re complete opposites, you’re so cocky, arrogant, and just…” I didn’t let her finish that thought. I had something else I wanted to say.

                     “Don’t quote me because I’ve never felt this way before, but I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you. Falling head over feet, deep into the abyss love with you, and not one person can steer me from that emotion. Not even you.” The look of fear in her eyes as she realized what I actually said reflected back on me, to my own reaction to the emotions I was feeling.

                     “L… Love?” The questioning look she gave me told me she didn’t know if she heard me correctly.

                     “Yes. Love. L.O.V.E.” I spelt it out for her in case she was still suffering from my pleasure-inducing coma.

                     “I…” She started to speak but I placed my lips against hers eating up whatever words it was that she wanted to say. I didn’t want this moment with her to end.

I wanted it to go on forever.

                     “Remember how I told you that being afraid is okay when you’re walking blindly in the dark?” I questioned pulling away just enough so I could see her eyes.

She gulped, and then nodded her head at me.  

“You’re no longer walking blindly in the dark. You’ll always have my hand to hold, to grasp and squeeze when the times get hard. We can guide each other through this dark life.”

                     Tears pricked at her eyes, but nothing fell. Instead, she grabbed me by the back of the head forcing our lips together once again, putting every piece of strength she had left into that one single clash of our lips.  It said everything that she was far too afraid to say yet. That she too loved me but didn’t know how to put it into words.

                     Saying I love you was easy, it was the emotions that came with it, the feelings and desires that changed you. If you were really in love, you always felt those things before you said those three little words. Love was something to be feared, because it had the power to break you.

                     Telling Noelle that I loved her was like giving her a loaded gun and praying that she didn’t shoot me directly in the heart. It was hoping that she felt the same way, because if she didn’t it would kill me.

                     There was just no way I could ever let her go, and I knew that as I tucked her into my body, cradling her against my chest.

                     I needed this silence with her, to hear nothing but the pounding beats of our hearts, and the passing of air into our lungs. I tried to convince myself that it was anything but me that needed to change. I saw the crash course I was on with life in the mirror every day, and I was afraid that I would hurt Noelle.

                     Things changed when you scared yourself. I was terrified of the person I was becoming and it was only because Noelle helped me see it.

                     “You saved me from myself,” I whispered into her hair, breathing in her scent and holding her closely against my chest, my chin resting on top of her head.

                     “We’re even then, because you made me a better person,” she whispered back.

I wasn’t able to sleep for days and as soon as I allowed myself to relax into her touch, my eyes drifted closed, growing heavy with exhaustion. Now that I let Noelle know just how crazy she made me feel, it was as if I could finally breath. As if there was no longer any weight that sat upon my shoulders.

                     After all, she was the only love that I grew to know.

Chapter Thirty

-Noelle

My body ached like it never had before, parts of my flesh felt as if it was on fire as I forced myself to untangle from Royal’s strong grip. I needed to use the bathroom like no other, but I didn’t want to get up, at least not yet. Being here cuddled in Royal’s warm embrace felt right, and there was a sense of peace that overwhelmed me. I had never felt this much at home before, and I wasn’t ready to end the feeling yet.

My bladder threatened to burst minutes later, and I knew I had no other option but to get up and go. Reluctantly, I pulled the comforter back and forced myself out of the bed, trudging around Royal’s bedroom to find my clothes. Things moved slow because my eyes refused to leave his naked body.

A memory was burned into my mind because of the things that he did to me last night— unimaginable things. The way my body hovered between pleasure in pain, and the words that fell from our lips.

                     Love.

Four letters.

One word.

A million emotions and I was stuck in love with the man I should have loved least of all. I gave up in defeat, looking for my clothes. Instead I walked over to his dresser and pulled out one of his shirts and slipped it on over my head, figuring I just needed to cover up really quick and slip back in here. I wanted to be here when he woke up.

                     I slipped from his bedroom as quietly as I could and down the hall toward what
I assumed was the bathroom. Royal and I were so intent on making it to his bedroom that he didn’t even show me this bathroom. I was a foot away from entering it when Royal’s mother noticed me in the hallway. Our eyes clashed. Oh God! She knew. She had to.

                     She cleared her throat, looking me up and down.

“I’m guessing you’re the one he loves, because if you aren’t I’m pretty sure you should leave,” she joked, and I was confused as to how she already knew when I had just found out myself. Maybe she heard us last night? Shit I hoped not.

                     My face turned fifty shades of red. I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I fucked this woman’s son in her house last night, and now I was standing in her hallway getting ready to use her bathroom in nothing but her son’s shirt.  I was embarrassed. Mortified.

                     “I….” I stumbled over my words, trying to figure out what to say. What could I say to make this look better?

Hi. I know I’m screwing your son, but can I use the restroom you have here?

                    
“My name’s Olivia, but you can call me Momma.” She smiled at me, and her eyes twinkled. I could see why Mark married her. She couldn’t be any sweeter, and her beauty was remarkable. She had long brown hair and beautiful sea blue eyes. Her body was that of a dancer’s— strong and firm, but slim and eloquent where needed. Looking at her now made me much more curious about her and Mark’s story.

                     “Hi, Olivia,” I remarked shyly, balancing from foot to foot.

                     “Why don’t you come out here when you get done going to the bathroom. I want to share something with you.” She sipped from her coffee cup giving me one last look before fleeting back in the direction she came.

                     Nervous butterflies erupted in my belly. What could she want to talk to me about? Did she hate me too, because my mother was married to her ex-husband?

                     I went to the bathroom and washed my hands without thought as worry ate away at my insides. You couldn’t tell me you had something to talk about and then walk away like that. What if she told me I needed to leave? Could I, given everything that had happened with Royal last night?

                     I exited the bathroom and contemplated changing my clothes. Was there a point? I was pretty sure she already knew what happened and it would probably just make it more obvious if I did.

                     “Oh get in here, girl. I’m not going to bite,” she laughed, and it made me smile. It was such a warm and inviting laugh. I shuffled across the floor and over to the small island. A glass of piping hot coffee was placed in front of me.

                     “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous. I’ve never done this whole meet the parents thing,” I confessed, taking a sip of the hot goodness. The small sip caused my senses to erupt and my body to shiver. Coffee was so fucking good.

                     “Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve only ever done it once myself, with Royal’s father.” I bit at my lip wondering where this was going.

                     “You said you wanted to talk?”

                     “Yes. I wanted to let you know that I don’t blame you or have any harsh feelings toward you. I don’t think ill of you in light of what happened.” I was puzzled. I mean I know Mark left her for my mother, but why would she blame me?

                     “What are you talking about?” I questioned.

                     “I’m talking about Viviana, of course. Everything your mother did to ruin my marriage. The lies and the secrets. You’re aware that your mother claimed Mark was your father when you were born, right? You aren’t, of course, which we all know now. She said she had sex with Mark at a business convention but she didn’t. It was all a trap. She laced his drink so that he would pass out and she could set it up to appear like they slept together.” I blinked and coughed as the coffee that was in my mouth slid down the wrong hole. The liquid burned the entire way down my throat and my eyes began to tear from my coughing. I needed that burn; I needed it because I desperately wanted to scream out loud because of the things my mother did.

                     “I…” What could I say to Olivia that wasn’t already said? I understood all of it now. Why my mother was so hateful toward me, why her and Mark acted more like roommates than a married couple. Why Royal wanted to hate me and why he really did hate my mother.

“I’m sorry,” I spoke the words with honesty. I was so sorry for the things that my mother did to all of us.

                     “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you had no idea. I thought Royal would have told you when he found out.” Hurt overwhelmed me. How long did he know? Months or days?

                     “I didn’t know that she did those things to you and your family. I somehow feel as if I’m intruding now,” I laughed nervously, feeling out of my element.

                     “You’re not leaving, Noelle.” Royal’s sleepy voice met my ears causing me to jump up out of seat. Coffee sloshed over the rim of my cup.

                     “Crap.” I clutched at my chest and quickly reached for the napkins sitting in the center of the table.

                     “Just because your mom is a raging bitch, doesn’t mean that you are. You’re nothing like her. Nothing. If you were I wouldn’t be so in love with you.”  He placed a kiss against my forehead, and then walked over to his mother and wrapped her up in his arms. She sank into him the same way I did. Like she needed him to live.

                     “I wasn’t going to leave. I just didn’t know because you never told me. I don’t want to be a reminder of the pain.” My mom’s hate toward me made so much more sense now.

                     “You’re a reminder of the good that comes from evil.” Olivia spoke before Royal could. “We can’t hate you for someone else’s actions.” The sentence she spoke reminded me of the words I said to my mom before Royal came. We couldn’t judge someone based on their past. A checkered past didn’t make for a bad person. It just meant that somewhere along the lines you veered off track.

                     “I didn’t know she trapped him. I was never under the impression that Mark was my father. I love Mark like a stepdad, and he has always taken care of me but that’s it.” I didn’t know why I was defending myself when I knew that I didn’t have too.

                     “Stop. It’s okay.” Olivia’s voice soothed me like a salve over a bleeding wound. She was everything my own mother wasn’t. Sweet. Sincere. Loving. Things that I craved in my own mother for years.

                     “You’ve changed me, baby. Without the things that happened I wouldn’t have met you.” Royal winked at me. It was then that I realized he was shirtless. God, everything was so fucked up. I wanted Royal again, and I felt a barrage of emotions as I stared at him and his mother. It was like finding your home after being gone for years.

This was where I needed to be, and it all finally made sense.

                     “That’s very true, Royal. See, you have changed him, and I can guarantee that he never would have said that before,” Olivia laughed as she made Royal a cup of coffee too.

The conversation between them continued as I watched Royal make fun of his mother, laughter filled kitchen, happiness radiating out of both of them. They seemed so alive and happy with one another. It was such a different sight than I was used to seeing at home. We never joked or played around with each other in my family. I liked this.

                     “I knew she was the one you loved the second I opened the door and saw the look on your face as she walked in,” I heard Olivia whisper as Royal started making breakfast. I pretended as if I wasn’t listening. I had yet to say the words out loud to him. I couldn’t because if I did they may be jinxed.

                     “I bet you did, Mom, and you want to know something? I wouldn’t change how my life has been for the world, because all the pain I had to endured led me straight to her.”

                     Of all the millions and billions of people in the world I could end up with, I got Royal Black.  My prick of a stepbrother to love.