Authors: Victoria Bolton
In the beginning years of the marriage, Edina explained to her parents why she and John did not try again to produce children. Edina often thought of adopting, but John did not support the idea. She had spent time coming up with scenarios on how to get a baby. She took tests, which revealed that she was the problem. Even if John agreed to the adoption, she learned from agencies that they would have a difficult time finding a convincing mixed-race child to pass as their own. She would never tell her family that the
possibility might never happen. Instead, she reassured them every time that she and John had chosen not to have kids. Uttering those words hurt her to the core every time. Edina wanted to be a mother. She was often the only one in her circle without a child, so she would instead spend time with her nieces and nephews from her brother and sister-in-law. At the beginning of her marriage, her family suggested an annulment. She knew her rep had diminished with some in the community because she had married a colored man. No respectable white or Jewish man of means would follow that, according to them.
John’s mother and brother were not fond of Edina. Both of them thought that she was a controlling monster who tried to prevent John from associating with his family. John’s side of the family did not attend the ceremony in New York. Edina never made a real effort to assimilate herself into John’s family. Edina felt that they were uncouth and that John was in a different environment now. His mother often had to bite her tongue during the very few interactions that she had with her. Edina had a way of insulting people with a big smile on her face. His brother, Jimmy, refused to speak to her. John’s mother wished for him to move on from Edina but understood the complexity involved in doing so. She often prayed for a change in his situation. John would send his mother jewelry as a token of his appreciation of her and also as a forgive-me gift to her.
Out of embarrassment, Edina never shared her concerns with her friends, and she could not talk to her family. John
was the only person she felt that she should express her frustrations to, much to his displeasure. John was never a fan of a difficult person, and if he did not like the individual, his irritability magnified tenfold. This was the source of their fights. She felt that he was not supportive of her feelings, and he felt that she treated him as if she were his superior. They responded to each other with passive-aggressiveness. Edina knew that he was possibly miserable but felt that she could turn things around in her favor if she could just come up with the right plan. Her ways were always the right way to be, according to her, and that pissed him off.
Edina was sexually frustrated because of John’s unwillingness to sleep with her. They only made love on an average of once a year at this point. He had no desire to touch her, so he needed to find physical release with outsiders, and often. John became emotionally unattached to her as he became fed up with the situation. He had thought about disappearing altogether to get rid of her, but he decided to stay once he landed the job at Chimera. The lack of affection from John led Edina to have an extramarital affair of her own, which was short lived. The man she dealt with did not want to commit to her, as her personality was too abrasive for him and she was not attractive enough for him to commit, according to him. This led Edina to a minor depression, which made her more aggressive with John. She had a feeling he had numerous trysts with women, but she looked the other way. She owned him. She resented that he was seemingly content with his extra activities.
John and Edina kept up public appearances occasionally for the sake of both their reputations. She considered it important that they make a strong favorable impression and avoid exposing problems at all costs. He fulfilled his holiday obligations and went to social gatherings if they both were invited, weddings, and family funerals. Edina wanted him to convert to Judaism, but he refused. That led to a compromise. She would observe Hanukkah and other Jewish holidays, and he could celebrate Christmas, much to her disdain. The only black Jew John knew was Sammy Davis Jr., and he felt it should remain that way.
Ben was feeling left out of the fray as he finally figured out that the primary New York City operations at the offices had been handed to John, without a formal announcement, while Bernie worked in the Atlantic City area. The writing was on the wall. Ben felt that Bernie had let him down. Although they worked side by side as brothers, Ben did not understand why John was a better candidate than he was. He never envisioned a minority running the primary operations. Ben felt that he would look better as the underboss. He thought he did an overall good job and brought decent money into the company. He started to wonder if John and Jerome were teaming up on him. The addition of Celia made the suspicions worse, as he was now outnumbered in representation. He indulged more in drugs as a result. New York
City at the time was a hotspot for illegal drugs because of the changing social and economic times. Ben’s drug problem became worse but remained manageable. He was still careful to make sure it did not interfere with his daily duties. He would go from work back to his apartment at night to shoot heroin and snort cocaine to relax his nerves. He never did this at the same time. The women he would invite over also used, so he always had someone there who knew what was happening and partook in the activities with him, just in case he passed out. The expense of his habit was high, as he insisted on only using reputable dealers who had high-quality drugs. This cost him thousands, and often he fell short with money to support his habit and pay his dealers. After a while, he had some of the dealers on loans. He figured since he was the accountant, he could use funds from the company and maybe pay them back later. He did this without the knowledge of Bernie or the others. Ben dipped into the public’s money. He was in charge of those books. The mob money was safe, as only Bernie held that information. Since John was unofficially leading, he now had knowledge of that information as well.
Ben felt that if he was to stay afloat in the company, he needed allies. John and Jerome were out of the question, which left Celia. He knew that he had not gotten off to a good start with her and decided to make amends. Ben bought her a bottle of wine as a gift to break the ice. He had apologized for being a dick to her over and over again. He was unaware that she was not a daily drinker, and it was likely that the
bottle would go unused. Celia only drank when the situation was appropriate. Alcohol triggered her headaches, and she could not tolerate more than one glass of wine. At the club, the wine glasses were large, and she used those as a measure of her alcohol tolerance. Bunny accepted the gift, as she was relieved that he had decided not to be so rough on her anymore. She did not want any enemies on the job. Ben took the opportunity to get to know her and see what she was about as a person. Ben observed the interactions she had with John and noted how close they were. He wanted to mimic those conversations to get her to trust him. He also wanted some attention. Over the course of the next few months, Ben and Celia became friendly.
After getting to know Celia more by speaking with her, Ben found himself falling for her. He had never been attracted to a black woman before, and he wasn’t sure how to process those feelings. He knew that John was still carrying a torch for her and would probably not like the notion that Ben would be encroaching on his territory. Ben felt that he needed a relationship with Celia so he could get ahead and have someone on his side. He was beginning to like her, so this would work in his favor. Ben thought he was better than John, so he felt that this would be a step up for her from what she had been dealing with before.
Celia was OK with being friendly with Ben; however, she still considered professionalism important. She did not want things to get weird at the job. At the advice of Rose, with whom she spoke on the phone often, she began to go
out on dates secretly with men on the outside. None of these resulted in intimacy, as she was not ready for that just yet. Those feelings for John still lingered.
The New Year rang in with the beginning of a new decade. The year was 1970. A few months after the New Year, Chimera decided to celebrate their recent successes and their future outlook with a party at the Drake Hotel in the city. They shared the space with other patrons but had one section of the ballroom to themselves. They meant it to be a small affair for them and their guests. John did not bring Edina. Chimera was the one business activity that John had to himself, and he did not feel the need to share it with her. She brought him to her functions enough and made him put on fake smiles. He was real here, and he wanted to keep it that way. Jerome attended with Mariana. Ben came alone, and Bernie introduced Gina to the crew. Celia went alone and was ready to have a good time.
The place was filled with food, drink, and music. Celia, wore high heels and her tight black sparkly dress that fit her nicely in the right places, felt comfortable for the first time in a while. She finally had a decent bank account, and her apartment was secure without the assistance of a roommate. She missed Rose because the woman kept her company and they were like sisters, but her friend was already doing well at Juilliard. Celia had put Juilliard on hold. She had been upset
about it at first, but she’d changed her mind because she was doing so well at Chimera. The apartment was quiet without Rose, so she had to get used to the quiet. She considered getting a pet to keep her company. She once told John that she liked cats, but John had discouraged her from getting one, as he did not trust or like them and they did not like him.
Celia decided to get up and dance, something she had not done in a public setting since her nights at the Playboy Club. The disc jockey was playing “Lay a Little Lovin’ on Me,” by Robin McNamara. She loved the song, and she asked anyone at the table if they wanted to join her. John did not, as he did not dance; none of them did so in public, to each other’s knowledge. He was content just watching her as he had before. He was too suave to be seen dancing. Jerome declined, as he was comfortable in his seat with his drink and food next to John and Mariana. Ben took her up on her offer, to everyone’s surprise. He got up and joined her. They danced together in the middle of the floor, and both appeared to enjoy themselves. Three more songs played before they stopped and went over to the open bar for drinks.
John and Jerome sat and watched Ben and Celia dance. Ben had a smile on his face, a strange expression for him. Ben always looked serious. He thought people would not take him seriously if he showed his teeth excessively. John stared at them hard, and so did Jerome. The two of them started a conversation at the table, as they both had unspoken feelings about what they were watching. It made John sick to his stomach and Jerome uneasy.
“Do you see that?” John asked Jerome.
“Yeah, I do. Can’t say that I like it either,” Jerome answered.
“What does he want with her? He doesn’t dance. That motherfucker doesn’t dance,” John said.
“I just don’t trust it. He’s like our brother and all, but I don’t trust him. I don’t think a white man has good intentions when he looks at our women,” Jerome said. “I can’t control her, but I can talk to her about him. It’s not right. There are too many brothers out there for her to go to the gutter with him, and I won’t allow the disrespect to my family,” he added.
“He did not like her. He was an ass to her. Bernie had to check him. I had to check him. Why is he in her face?” John asked.
Jerome and John did not care about the hypocrisy of their concerns. Both men had had relations with numerous white women, and they did not have a problem with doing so, as they felt that they were entitled to the practice. John could not help the feeling of jealousy coming over his body. He felt that she belonged to him and should only have eyes for him, as he still held strong, deep feelings for her. This was the first visual evidence that he may be losing his grip with her. She had begun to seek male attention elsewhere.
Later on that evening, John went home frustrated. He received a phone call from Edina, who was checking up on him. His tone with her was more bitter than usual. He felt that his involvement with her was ruining his life. His tone
did not sit well with Edina, as their very brief conversation about money escalated into a shouting match. He hung up the phone after she suggested that he go to their marital home. John had been verbally aggressive with her before, but this time his voice had more anger. Edina was always the one initiating the slam of the phone. The aggressiveness on the other end of the line took her aback. Things were progressively getting worse between them, and she felt that she had to do something soon.