Ruin Me (45 page)

“Yes,” I whisper. “It’s true.”

“Whoa…” Shawn says, frozen in his seat across from me.

Kai falls silent and it absolutely kills me. He always has something to say. He’s always said something, no matter what the situation brings. It’s only been a few seconds and I already miss his voice.

Please, Kai. Say something. Anything. Yell at me. Scream at me. I don’t care. Just say something.

His lips stay closed, as does everyone else’s for what feels like an eternity.

“Piper and I should have sex.”

My eyes shoot over to Shawn. “Excuse me?” I gasp as rage slowly starts to boil within me.

“Kai slept with Mandy,” he says. “It seems only fair that the two of us should copulate.”

“Shawn—” Kai snaps out of his trance. “
She’s carrying my child.”

“You should have thought about that before you stuck your dick inside of my girlfriend, Kai.” Shawn shakes his head at him with shame. “One night with Piper and we’ll all be square.”

“
Ex
-girlfriend,” Kai corrects him.

“Can we please vote on the whole having sex with me issue?” I ask. “Actually,
no
— fuck that. We don’t vote on who gets to fuck me. I’m not having sex with you, Shawn.”

“I agree,” Kai says.

“Actually,” Mandy adds, “I think he makes an interesting point.”

I twist in her direction, hating her even more.
“Mandy.”

Shawn gestures at her. “Thank you. The voice of reason chimes in.”

“Voice of reason,
my ass
,” Kai says. “It’s not happening.”

“You could have backed out at any time, Kai,” Mandy says to him. “In fact, I remember Piper telling you I would leave if you didn’t want to go through with the three-way. You hesitated, so obviously, Shawn’s feelings must have crossed your might, right?”

Shawn stares at Kai. “You fucking Brutus.”

“Oh,
please
—” Kai says back. “You wouldn’t have backed out either, Shawn.”

“Yes, I would have!”

“Okay then — hypothetical theater,” Kai begins. “Imagine Mandy and you are still together and she takes you to a fancy hotel room, whispering words of a super secret surprise for you. You get there and Piper lies on the bed, naked, wearing nothing but a silk robe. You think,
‘Well, shit. I can’t do this. Kai would kill me.’
But then, Mandy
mounts
Piper and they start kissing, putting on a sexy show for you—”

I lean forward in my seat.
“Get to the point, Kai.”

He pulls his words back. “Do you leave?” he asks Shawn.

Shawn stares straight ahead at me, no doubt doing everything in his power to visualize my naked body beneath a silk robe. “Shit…” he finally mutters.

Kai nods and slaps a hand on his shoulder.
“Thank you.”

Shawn bounces his arm to knock Kai’s fingers away. “I still don’t think that vindicates you,” he says, crossing his arms. “I am a far weaker man than you are, Kai. You knew better.”

“Maybe so,” Kai replies, “but we can find a better way of settling this that
doesn’t
involve you fucking my pregnant girlfriend.”

“Fine,”
Shawn bites with disappointment.

“Can we please not say the P-word?” I interject. “It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Kai shifts his attentions to me. “Are you sure you’re pregnant?” he asks.

“Kai!”

“How long have you known about this?”

I look back at him, pleading with him with my gaze. “Can we please not talk about this here?” I ask.

“At least four weeks,” Mandy answers for me.

“Mandy!” I shout at her.

Kai almost falls forward out of his seat. “Four weeks?!” he shouts with anger in his voice.

“Not four weeks—” I look at him and I lose my words.

“Then how long?”

“I was four weeks
late
,” I explain. “I didn’t know for sure until a few days ago.”

“Late is the missed period thing, right?” Shawn asks.

“Yes,” Kai answers without glancing at him. He keeps his eyes focused on me. “But she keeps careful track of that, which means, she has pretty much known about this for four weeks. Isn’t that right, Piper?”

“I didn’t want to worry about it until after school was over,” I say. “We were both already stressed enough with finals as it was, I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“Oh, I imagine you
thought
you were doing the right thing. But as usual, Piper Lynch gets empathy wrong.”

I sit back. “Kai… I—”

“You what?” he snaps. “You didn’t care? You didn’t think I’d notice that something was wrong with you for weeks? You didn’t consider anyone’s feelings other than your own?”

I shake my head. “That’s not fair…” My lips quiver. “You have
no idea
what this feels like.”

“Because you won’t tell me,” he replies. “Almost four years together and you still won’t open up to me, Pipes.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Is it?” he asks. “You know everything about me. I tell you every little thought that crosses my brain, but
you
… Getting to know you is like wrestling with a shark. Always has been.”

“This isn’t exactly something I can just
drop into
any casual conversation, Kai,” I argue.

“Good morning, Kai,”
he quotes.
“Your hair looks nice. By the way, I’m knocked up.”
His hands jerk into the air. “Boom. Done. I don’t see the problem.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” I say. “The world is just so damn simple to Kai Casablancas.”

“This is not nearly as complicated as you’re making it out to be, Piper. I had a right to know.”

“I was going to tell you—”

“When?”

“When the time was right.”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “This is unbelievable…”

“The only thing I find unbelievable about this is your reaction, Kai,” I say.

“Oh, really?” he asks. “Did you expect me to be
happy
about it? Jump up and down? Do a little dance?”

“No,” I answer, “but I expected you to keep your fucking cool about it.”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m not.”

“I know that now. Whatever happened to growing and changing together, huh? Where’d that epic Casablancas romanticism go?”

“Out the fucking window, obviously.”

“Yeah, no shit. I knew this trip was too little too late.”

He pauses. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, Kai, that we’ve been dead in the water for months now…” I inhale a quick breath. “We should have just bit the bullet a long time ago. It would have been better than waiting for us to drown.”

“Finally,”
Kai sighs, “one of us says it out loud. But as
fucking
usual, the timing is a bit off. Should have said it
four weeks ago
.”

“Well, with any luck…” I mutter. “I won’t be
knocked up
for very much longer.” He stares back at me in stunned silence, unable to respond. I lose my words and find myself overwhelmed by nausea. Every bump and rock of the train car makes me even more dizzy. I look around to see Shawn and Mandy’s quiet, awkward expressions. Their eyes refuse to make contact with either of us.

“Excuse me…” I whisper. “I can’t be here right now.” I stand up and bolt away, quickly maneuvering through the aisle to the next train car.

Kai
fucking
Casablancas.

Finally, our truth comes out.

***

“I don’t mean to alarm you,” Mandy whispers in my ear, “but Kai is staring at you right now.”

I push my golden tassel to the side as a gust of wind sends it into my face. “Let me guess,” I say. “He’s leaning against his car, trying way too hard to look cool, while Shawn jumps around him, trying to decide which one of his legs to hump?”

She chuckles. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“I figured.” I look across the parking lot. He and I lock eyes for a long moment before I roll them back over to Mandy. “I guess we know what this means.”

“Kai Casablancas has officially made his way through each and every girl in our graduating class… except you.”

“How delightful,” I mutter. “This summer should be fabulous.”

“Just keep your knees together for a few more months until college begins,” Mandy says. “You’ve managed for two years, you can go a little longer.”

I blink. “You think I’m
tempted
?”

“Oh, please. Of course, you are.”

“I am not!”

Mandy raises her brow. “Okay, fine. I take it back. You’re
not
the least bit
tempted in fucking the most gorgeous man that’s ever graced the halls of Belle Academy.”

“I think you give him too much credit.”

“I think the lady doth protest too much.”

I glare at her before stealing another quick glance at Kai. “I have more important things to worry about than Kai Casablancas,” I say.

“Ahh…” Mandy smirks. “The big trip?”

“You still in?” I ask.

She scoffs. “Um… duh! A week in Europe with Piper Lynch? I can’t fucking wait.”

I hesitate for a moment. “There’s more to it than that.”

“Like what?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

Her eyes roll into the back of her head. “Are you kidding? It’s
me
, Piper.”

I smile and bite my lip, wondering where to begin. “Well…”

“Hey, Pipes.”

Kai’s voice invades my ears and I slam my lips shut. He sits in his stupid corvette, staring up at me from the driver’s seat. “What?” I ask, glaring at him.

“Let’s go. Mom’s waiting,” he says.

I look back at Mandy. “There’s something I should mention about the trip—”

“Hey, Kai,” she says, smiling at him.

“Howdy, Mandy.” He sends her a wink and Mandy’s cheeks turn pink.

Maybe I shouldn’t trust her with this after all.

***

“Jeez, you look like crap.”

I pull my eyes away from the busy Paris sidewalk to find Shawn standing over my park bench. He stares down at me with his duffel bag slumped over his shoulder and a shit-eating grin on his face.

“You certainly have a way with women, Shawn,” I mutter. I look at my phone to check the time, realizing that I’d completely lost track of it. Somehow, I’ve been sitting out here for nearly two hours.

Shawn plops down next to me and tosses his bag to the ground. “This place looks exactly the same…” he says, looking around. “I swear, I saw that exact same kid selling bread on the street four years ago.”

I chuckle slightly as I follow his pointed finger. “Well, at least, some things never change.”

“I prefer change,” he says. “Keeps things interesting.”

“I think I’ve had a little too much interesting in my life so far.”

He turns to me. “So, are you and Kai like…
over
?”

I sigh. “I’m not sleeping with you, Shawn.”

“I ain’t asking you to,” he says. “I’m just confirming.”

“Did he send you over here to confirm it?” I ask.

“Nope.”

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“Because…” he says. “I’m still really pissed at him and Mandy’s a big ole’ jerk. Oddly enough, yours is the only company I can stomach right now.”

I look over at him and smile. “That’s kind of fucked up,” I joke.

“I can leave, if you want,” he says. “Just got tired of walking around aimlessly for hours, figured I’d stop to rest. That’s when I saw you here—”

“You can stay, Shawn,” I say. “I suppose your company is better than none.” I push my hair back out of my face, peeling it off my sweat-covered brow.

“Here…” He bends down and grabs a bottle of water from his bag. “I wasn’t kidding. You look like crap.”

I take the bottle and twist the cap off. “Thanks… kind of.” I take a sip of the lukewarm water.

“You know,” he begins, “when my mom was preggo with my little brother, she told me it was the worst thing she’s ever done.”

I furrow my brow. “She told you that?”

He nods. “It was horrible for me, too. She was always in a bad mood, crying and screaming at me and my dad. I thought she’d gone mental — but then…”

“Then what?” I ask.

“Then my brother was born and she changed overnight. No more scary mommy. Suddenly, she was calm and caring mommy. Cookies and milk for breakfast mommy.”