Ruin Me Please (40 page)

Oh, but she was so sweet.  He sighed
, thinking
of her voice. 
She was a balm
to his
spi
r
it.  Reaching out, he
traced his finger on the glass, wishing
that he were touc
h
ing her again.  At that moment, Poppy glanced up and smiled.  He whispered,
“
W
hat I needed
most was to love and be loved.
”

“
So this is where you ran off to?
”
Seymour asked
,
walk
ing
into the library. 

He turned abruptly at the amused voice behind him, aware that he must look like a fool standing in front of the window talking to himself.

“We were looking for you.” 
Seymour
was the
golden boy of the
ton
.  Tall, well-muscled, blonde curls,
pale
skin and pale ice blue eyes.  Everything he did was with a purpose.  Not a curl was out of place and nary a wrinkle to be found.  He was a definite favorite among the women
,
k
nown for being
i
m
mensely
wicked.  He could have a different woman every night
, w
hich he probably did, knowing
him
.
  Each
woman
wrapped thoroughly arou
nd his well-manicured fi
n
gers, s
wooning in antic
i
pation whenever
he walked into a room.  It was
actually quite
sickening.

L
ook
ing back
out the window
,
Declan
paused before acknowledging
, “Seymour
,
w
as there something you needed?”

He ignored
the question, “Want one?”  Seymour asked holding up a glass of whiskey.  The glass reflected in the window.
“Looks like you are having a fit of the blue devils.  Can I be of service
?
”

“It is a little early for whiskey, don’t you think?” 
He turned
to Seymour,
rais
ing
one ey
e
brow.

“What about your fall into intemperance at the pub?”  Seymour studied him. 

“That was a mistake.”

“
It is only o
ne drink
,”
Seymour
stated
.  “On
e drink does not a lush make, b
esides, I need a drink to get me through all the feminine prattle we are going to be subjected to on this infe
r
nal picnic.”  He snorted inelegantly.  “Besides, you look like you could use one.”  Silently
w
alkin
g t
oward Declan, Seymour paused, h
olding ou
t the gl
ass,
w
aving it
back and forth
in front of his face.
“I know you want it…
”

De
clan removed it from his hand.

Seymour
leaned over to see what
was holding Declan’s attention.
“Ahhh
…
f
etching i
n
deed
,
musl
in dresses on a bright summer’s day.  P
raise
be to the man
who invented transparent fa
b
rics.  I love to see the outline
of ladies limbs
, v
ery erotic indeed.”  Seymour grinned wickedly
, elbowing
Declan
in the ribs
. 

“So
that is the way of it then?”  Seymour
smiled.  “You always did have devilishly
good luck with the women
,
Hawk.”
 
Leaning no
nchalantly against the window,
he took a swallow of the whiskey
and
w
ith narrowed eyes he said, “I have never seen you this
,”  H
e waved his hand, in the air as he
searched for the right word, “
preoccupied
before.”

Cocking his brow again, Declan looked at Seymour.  “Honestly Seymour, is there a re
a
son you are being such a bother?”  Glancing out the window
unable to see Poppy any longer,
he sauntered over to
one of the deep leather
chair
s
and flopped down, taking
a sip of his whi
s
key
.

“She cannot take her eyes off you,
” Seymour stated with haughtily raised brows.

Blowing out a deep breath, Declan sprawled further in his chair
.  H
is glass
hanging per
i
lously
in his hand, he stared
at the
whiskey;
he wanted to drink until he couldn’t think.  “A
f
ter Gabriel died
,
I drank so much that I barely remember those first
six
months.”  He looked at Seymour
,
his f
ace contorted with disgust.  He placed his
glass on the end table.  “I do
n’t
drink very much anymore
.”

“Everyone deals with death differently,” Seymour
said
.  “
I for one threw a party when my fa
ther
stuck his spoon in the wall.
”
  He chuckled
.

“I squandered my chances to love properly over and over again.  I cannot believe I am g
oing to say this to you
,
Seymour.
”
He hesitated, clenching
his jaw
.
“
I am afraid to love an
y
one else
, p
athetic right?”
 
He grabbed his drink and drained it dry
, s
o
be
rly,
wait
ing
for s
ome witty r
e
tort from Seymour.

“Do
n’t
start drinking again on my account.”  Seymour snorted.  Sitting back,
he looked
at Declan before he responded
,
“
No matter what has happened in the past, or what the
ton
says, or even for that matter what is written in the scandal sheets
, just
because you are a
d
uke does not give you super human abilities.  Yo
u are ultimately still a man.”

Clearing his throat
, Declan
said
, “
We have been friends a long time,
I find I have a care for your opinion
,
”
Declan said smiling a little.

“As you should, I happen to be a very wise man
wrapped in a frivolous package
.”

Declan
leaned back and rolled his eyes.
“I have been hanging on by a thin string stretched to the breaking point.  I am afraid to give my heart to someone
, go ahead and laugh
.
”

Quite shocked at Declan
, Seymour
was quiet for a moment.  “
One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life.  That word is love
,
”
h
e quoted.

“Not you too.” 
Declan laughed
.
  “Sophocles?  Poppy asked me why I quote stuff all the time.”  He looked at Seymour.  “I can see
how it
could be annoying.”  He snorted.  “When did you become a
romantic?”

“I have
always
been a romantic
,” Seymour
clarified.
“The hardened rake is just a ruse for
le bon ton.
”  A laugh sprang to his eyes.  “I am holding you in the strictest of confidence.” 
He
chuckled.  “If this gets out, I know who to
look
for.”

“What if I cannot love her the way she expects or needs to be loved?
  She has never wanted for anything.
”

Disbelieving, Seymour answered
,
“I knew your father, I knew your brother and I know you
,
”
h
e said shrewdly.
“You have an infinite supply of love to give.”  He smiled.  “As boys, we loved visiting your house on holiday.”  Sighing as he thought back on those memories. 
“We
never felt judged or felt lacking with your family.  Your father taught and loved at the same time.  He never expected you to be more than you were.  He never expected you to be a mirror image of him.  He knew you would be your own man
.
”
 
Seymour continued,
“My father crit
i
cized everything I did as a boy.  He was never sati
s
fied.  Even with my very best.  He always told me that I was not good enough t
o carry on the family name.”

He looked at Declan.  “Remember the joy you felt when you were at your home?  How is it wrong to spread that joy?  Your father would hate for you to have died
along
with them.  He never asked
you to preserve their memory by placing yourself in a glass box.  He definitely would not be happy
with you living half a life. 
People spend their lifetimes filling in the gaps to a
t
tempt to find happiness.  D
o
no
t
throw it away.  D
o
not
take
t
his opportunity
for granted
.  If you think for
even
a
second that you mi
ght love her, then go for it.”

“You
’re
right.”  He shrugged. 
“My father would box my ears for sure if he caught me feeling sorry for myself.”  He smiled.  “He always reminded us how blessed we were
.”

“Anyone can choose to love,”
Seymour said.  “Your father and brother knew you loved them.  If Poppy loves you, are you also going to make her suffer because you d
on’t
feel that
you
deserve to be loved by her?”

Declan chuckled.
“I give up
.
” 
He held
up his hands,
laughing outright.  “You h
ave made your point.”

“What are friends for?”  Seymour chuckled.  “Besides, I might need you for seconds someda
y.  How can you refuse me now
after I have given you such sage advise
?”

If music be the food of love; play on.

Twelfth Night

*William Shakespeare

T
he day of the picnic was very fine indeed
. 
The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze
to make the heat of the day bearable.
 
The wagon load
ed with
hampers
of food
and blankets for the picnic was already rambling w
ell ahead of them to the lake.
  Just that morning they had a pavilion erected to give them a shaded area to eat what cook had prepared.

Deciding
to
take advantage of the magnificent weather, they
leisurely stroll
ed side by side towards the water
at a leisurely pace
.

The pleasant
afternoon’s
entertainment
made
even
more joyful by the official a
n
nouncement
from
Dur
ham of his b
e
trothal to Freya.