Ruined (12 page)

After a few minutes and a couple of poses that make my muscles ache, I beg for a break. He laughs and agrees, and we sit back down on the sand.

"You're a pretty good yogi," I say as I fall back on the sand, out of breath.

"Yeah, I'm flexible for a big guy. I've got moves you can't imagine, Willow." I look at him for a moment and he breaks into laughter. His laugh is deep and throaty and sexy.

"You're a lot nicer today than you were last night," I say as I throw a little sand at his leg and sit up. He sits up too.

"I guess I should apologize for that. Coming home was harder than I thought it was going to be."

"Your Dad?" He looks at me and nods, and there's almost a grateful look in his eyes.

"How'd you know?"

"Just a lucky guess," I say, not wanting to tell him that I overheard his conversation with my mother.

"Your mother was nice. Very welcoming. My father, not so much. He doesn't want me here, and I can't blame him. I'm unnecessary baggage that will embarrass him in the community. He had to run away from Atlanta after I went to prison, or at least he thought he did. And now here I am again, the ex-con son living in his mansion, mooching off him." There's an edge to his voice, and I recognize it from last night.

"Kellan, your Dad loves you..."

"Don't tell me that, Willow. You don't know anything about me or my relationship with my father." The anger is back and he stands up. I see his hand go into his hair again, and I know that I can't talk to him anymore right now. He walks toward the water, leaving me sitting on the sand.

Without saying a word, I walk back to the house and shut the door.

***

"Welcome home, my boy!" Carmelita says as she squeezes Kellan tightly. She's a tiny thing, maybe five feet tall, and he towers above her. But he hugs her back and smiles, and she grins from ear to ear. "You're so big now. What they feed you there?"

"A lot of really crappy tasting food, Mama Lita." He calls her Mama Lita. How sweet.

"Well, I fill you full of good stuff now! Enchiladas and tamales..."

"That sounds wonderful, Mama Lita," he says as he kisses the top of her head. It makes my heart melt to see this big guy, all tough and hardened, kissing Carmelita's head like she's the most precious thing on Earth.

"What you eat for breakfast?" she asks him as I walk around the corner.

"You don't have to..."

"No! You eat, my boy. Eggs and bacon and coffee?"

He hesitates for a moment and then looks at me. "Make that for two. Willow is going to join me." He doesn't ask, but I don't argue. He gives me a knowing glance complete with a hint of a smile, and I smirk at him.

"Good morning, Carmelita," I say as I give her a quick hug and walk to the table.

"Good morning, Miss Blake."

She continues her work in the kitchen as Kellan and I sit uncomfortably at the table. I think he's just as unsure of what to say as I am.  When he's not looking at me, I survey the tattoo on his right arm. It's simple and the only one he has on that arm, and it is totally not something I'd ever expect to see on a man, much less an ex-con.

It's a hand drawn sunshine complete with rays shooting out from it. It looks happy and sad all at the same time. And it stands out in stark contrast to both of Kellan's personalities. He catches me looking. Of course.

"Something interesting?" he asks.

"No. Nothing." He stares at me for a moment and then shifts so that his arm is facing another direction. He knows I was looking, and it's obvious he doesn't want any questions.

Carmelita finishes up and puts our food on the table before going upstairs to do some cleaning. We are left in silence as all I can hear is the clinking of our forks and the small sips of coffee each of us takes from time to time.

"Sorry about before," he finally says softly. Who is this guy? Why is he hot one minute, cold the next? Maybe prison time can do that to a person.

"It's okay." I take a bite of my eggs and wish away this conversation.

"No, it's not okay. It isn't your fault that my Dad is an ass." He takes a huge bite of his eggs and then shoves bacon into his mouth. Definitely needs to work on his table etiquette, but I'm pretty sure prison will do that to a person.

"He's not an ass, Kellan. He's been very good to me and my mother."

I can almost hear him grinding his teeth, and I can see his jaw clenching. "Well, good for you, Willow. I'm glad you've enjoyed living in splendor with my father."

"Don't be a jackass, Kellan."

"You really like that word, don't you?" he mumbles.

"And you really like being angry. Look," I whisper with a sudden surge of confidence. "I get that you've got history with your Dad. And I get that you have had a tough few years. And I totally understand that you don't know me from Adam's house cat, but I didn't have a hand in any of that. So, I would greatly appreciate it if you'd stop snapping my head off at every given moment. This is my house too, and I'm not going to feel uncomfortable every time I have to have a conversation with you. Okay?"

Suddenly, he just smiles at me. A real, honest to goodness smile. I throw my hands up as if to say "what" and he steals the last piece of my bacon, which is a criminal offense in my mind.

"I like you, Willow Blake. You seem like one person, but I think you might be someone totally different deep down. It's... interesting."

"Back at ya," I say as I reach my fork over and stab the last piece of his eggs and eat them. "So can we agree that we're on the same side here?"

"On one condition."

"And that is?"

"That we don't consider each other brother and sister."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because then that makes me a weirdo that I think my new sister is incredibly hot," he says with a wink before he puts his plate in the sink and walks upstairs. I'm left at the table with my mouth hanging open and my heart pounding.

Great. My ex-convict new step brother, who has been without female contact for five years, thinks I'm hot. And, sadly, I think he's hot too.

Yep. My life is going just as planned.

***

I finish my breakfast and then head upstairs to shower and get ready for my day. It's Saturday, and I am planning to study for an upcoming math test and then read a book that I've been dying to finish. I'm nineteen, and this is how I spend a Saturday. Sad.

Just as I reach the halfway point of the stairs, the doorbell rings. It's still pretty early, so I can't imagine who'd be here at this hour on a Saturday. I swing open the door and Reed is standing there holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling.

"Reed," I say softly. I realize in that moment that I've missed him. If nothing else, he's been my only real friend. And now he's kissed me like I've never been kissed before, and I so want to do that again. And again.

"Hi, Willow," he says as he holds out the flowers. "For you."

I take them, my first ever bouquet of flowers from a guy, and smell them instinctively. "They're beautiful."

"Can we talk?" he asks. He's wearing a pale pink polo shirt, white shorts and boat shoes. He looks like he just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren advertisement. How can this guy be interested in someone like me? Oh, that's right. I look normal. I look like the step daughter of a wealthy man, but I'm not who he thinks I am. And I never will be.

"Sure," I say softly before I hear a noise behind me. Reed's eyes shift to whatever is moving behind me, and then his face changes.

"Willow, who is this?" Kellan asks as he comes bounding down the stairs, wearing no shirt and only swim trunks. He is a fine male specimen, and he is totally different than Reed. Kellan isn't clean cut. Isn't polite or well mannered. He's rough and edgy and carnal. He's got an animal quality. He's not put together. He has no fakeness or pretense about him. He wears his emotions on his sleeve from what I can see.

"Reed Miller. I'm Willow's..." he starts as he reaches out to shake Kellan's hand.

"Friend," I finish, and Reed's face drops. I've just crushed something inside of him, and I didn't intend to. "Reed and I work together at the college TV station." Kellan smiles and nods as if he's won some competition.

"Kellan Avery." Reed stares for a moment because, like most people, he didn't know Bruce had a son.

"You're related to Bruce?"

"He's my father," Kellan says. "I can see by the look on your face that you didn't know the well respected Bruce Avery had a son. Well, see, I'm the black sheep of our little family. I just got out of prison. Did five years." Reed looks like he might pass out or something.

"Oh... well... welcome home?" he says looking at me for confirmation. I just shrug my shoulders.

"Thanks. Willow, I was wondering if you might want to join me for a swim?" Kellan asks with a crooked smile. What is he doing? If I didn't know better, he's marking his territory in some way. Trying to show off for Reed.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here, Kellan," I say raising my eyebrows.

"Oh, gotcha. Well, I'll be on the beach if you change your mind," he says before pinching my cheek and walking out the back door. What the heck?

"Well, that was... interesting..." Reed says furrowing his eyebrows as he watches Kellan exit out the back.

"Yeah. He's different alright," I say. "Come on in." We walk into the kitchen and I put the flowers in water. "Let's sit out on the sun porch."

We walk outside, and I find myself keeping an eye on Kellan who is running in and out of the surf with a wakeboard. It's hard not to look at him. Reed is gorgeous too, of course, but Kellan draws you in.

"Okay, let me start by saying that I'm sorry for pushing you. I didn't mean to..."

"Reed, it's not your fault. You were acting normal, and I'm just not your normal girl."

"I don't know what that means exactly, but I'm willing to wait Willow. You make the moves, and I'll follow. Whatever has you spooked, we can work through it..."

I hold my hand up. "Reed, nothing has me spooked. There are just some things in life that can't be worked through. Some things can never be undone. That kiss threw me for a loop. I enjoyed it more than you know, but I just can't do this. Us. It's too much. It's too risky. I know you don't understand, but I can't really explain it either..."

"Willow, why are you walling yourself off like this?"

"I can't talk about this, Reed..."

I stand up to walk inside and he stops me in my path. His hand comes to my cheek and holds me there as his blue eyes pierce through me. "Willow, let me be your soft place to fall. I can handle it. We can take this slow. I just want to start somewhere with you. You're perfect for me, do you know that?" His voice is soft and my stomach is doing flips.

"No matter how slow we go, I'll never be perfect for you, Reed. Trust me. It's an illusion." I take his hand and remove it from my cheek, and then I softly kiss his cheek. "I'll understand if you want to rescind my internship."

He lets out a bitter laugh and shakes his head. "I can't believe you think I'd punish you for not wanting me like I want you. I'm not that kind of man, Willow. Your internship and our professional relationship are solid. But it doesn't mean that I won't always long for another one of your kisses. Goodbye, Willow..." he says without looking into my eyes before he walks into the house and out the front door.