Authors: Jay Crownover
She handed me the AMX card back.
“What did you do to Gabe?”
“Nothing.” She sighed and I didn’t
even try to not watch the way it stretched her tiny little uniform across her
chest.
“Well thanks for intervening; I
don’t know what his problem is.”
The cheerleader was having sex with
me with her eyes, and while I was normally totally a fan of hot chicks doing
that to me I barely even registered her because Shaw was bending over to get
her drinks and the ruffles on her butt were suddenly the only thing I could
see. She was short so I never really thought about her having such great legs,
but they were toned and curved just right and given enough time I could work up
some seriously awesome fantasies involving those legs and those boots and
nothing else.
“His problem is you’re hot, richer
than hell, have parents that are connected out the ass and you wouldn’t put
out. You not only left him physically hard up but blue-balled his visions of
playing golf with your dad at the country club and sitting next to your mom at
the republican convention. You dismantled everything he was trying to build.”
She flipped one of her pig-tails
out and picked up a tray full of drinks. “I gotta get back to work. You think
we can ever have a Sunday not filled drama and fights?”
I ran a hand over my messy hair and
shook my head ruefully. “Sunday’s have never been a great day for me. I’ll
catch you later, Shaw.”
“Bye Rule.”
I made my way back out of the bar
thinking that it was probably the first time since I had met her when she was
just a kid that I had ever seen Shaw be Shaw and it made me a little nervous
that when she didn’t have all her guards up and all her haughty defense
mechanisms in place she seemed so fallible, so undeniably human, so
approachable and so…attainable.
Shaw
I counted the pile of money in
front of me for the fifth time. I was having a hard time concentrating for a
couple reasons; one was that the bar had gotten busy so I had stayed two hours
past when I was scheduled off so I was dragging, the second was that there were
ten other girls all trying to cash out around and the chatter was like a swarm
of bees buzzing about purses and boys, the third was Ayden kept watching me
like a hawk, looking for something but I didn’t know what and the final was
that Loren Decker, my post high school Amy Rogers wouldn’t stop talking my ear
off about Rule.
Loren was a living, breathing
centerfold and was what happened when mean girls left high school and entered
the real world. She was vapid, boring and made more money than most of us
combined when she was on the schedule because her job was to be flirty and come
across easy things that were hardly a stretch and for some reason she was dying
to get every single detail I possessed about Rule. She wanted to know how I
knew him, wanted to know how come he had never been in the bar before, wanted
to know how old he was, what he did for a living, if we were dating, if he had
a girlfriend, if he liked blonds and so on and so forth. It was endless,
exhausting and I think it bothered me that yet another bimbo was just tripping
over herself to fall on him. While I knew my feelings for him were my burden
to bear alone, I wasn’t about to offer up my slutty coworker on a platter so I
just kept grunting responses and evading all the personal questions, which
unfortunately didn’t stop her from rambling about how gook looking he was.
“I mean I don’t normally go for
guys with all those tattoos and piercings like that, but oh my God those eyes,
have you ever seen anything like them? They’re like glacial ice, so pretty!
And his body, I bet he works out, I mean I normally like a guy with a six pack
but that tall lean thing totally works with his look. What kind of girls does
he normally go for? Are you sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend? Seriously Shaw
I just want to lick that hoop he has in the side of his lip, like so freaking
bad. I can’t believe you’ve been friends with someone that sexy and haven’t
gotten a piece, that’s like against nature.”
I hadn’t gotten a piece of anyone
ever, not that she needed to know that. Guys had tried, I had been tempted but
every time I was close to sealing the deal my brain short circuited and
reminded me that they weren’t who I really wanted and I shut down like a light
going off. I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes.
“Lore I’m trying to do my cash out,
can this wait?”
“Just give me his number.” I was
close to losing it and ready to shove the pile of ones down her throat when
Ayden must have sensed the storm brewing. She settled in the seat next to me
and leveled the blond with a dark look. There was just something about Ayden
that made people pay attention to her, whatever it was I loved her for it.
“Lore give the girl a break. It’s
not like their besties. If you wanted to ask him out you should’ve done it
while he was here.”
She made a face that probably made
guys buy her things but made me want to roll my eyes. “I would’ve but he was
too busy checking out Shaw’s ass, that’s why I asked what was going on between
them. I mean he didn’t even give you a hug or anything when he left but you
looked at each other like you were about to start making out any second.”
Startled I looked up at Ayden.
Since when did Rule who normally ignored me, or pretended I didn’t exist start
checking anything on me out? She lifted her eyebrow.
“If Shaw runs into him any time in
the near future I’m sure she’ll pass it along that you want his number or she
can just give him yours if he’s interested, now let’s talk about something
really important, what do you want to do for your birthday? It’s only two
weeks away.”
I groaned and gave up on trying to
get an accurate count out. Instead I just handed the money to Ayden and
started sorting and stapling the credit card slips which took far less brain
power. I hated my birthday. Normally it was a fight between which parent and
step parent I was going to spend an awkward dinner with, that was when they
bothered to remember, last year I just got a card from dad with a check for a
grand in it and a call from my mother with a promise of something when she
found time, there was never time. Ayden had ended up taking me for sushi and
we went to see some stupid romantic comedy and the day went by lack luster and
unmemorable. Even the Archers tended to be low key on my birthday I think it
reminded them that another year had passed and that Remy was still gone. Rome always
sent me something from whatever part of the world he was in and to this date
those were always my favorite gifts. I guess since I was turning twenty this
year I should try and make a big deal about it, I just didn’t want to.
“Why don’t we go dancing?” I
looked at Loren like she had grown a third head. I didn’t really socialize
with the girls from work, not because I didn’t like them, some of them were
really sweet and most of them were just like me and Ayden struggling to pay
bills and balance college, but they were normally young adults into drinking,
partying, meeting guys, going out and doing all the things that just didn’t
register for me. I didn’t need any more people in the world thinking I was
fundamentally broken so I just avoided those social interactions.
“Uh I don’t dance.”
Ayden scowled at the blond. “Plus
who invited you?”
She blinked heavily lashed eyes and
wrinkled her nose. “I thought maybe since it’s your birthday Mr. Tall, Dark
and Tattooed would be around. I’m telling you ladies I’m in stage four lust
and it can’t be cured.”
Ayden and I shared a look and I
went back to my stapling. “No, my birthday isn’t a big deal so Rule won’t be
around. I like to keep it low key.”
“You mean boring.”
I wasn’t friends with Loren, in
fact I wasn’t even particularly fond of her so I was about to tell to stick her
where the sun didn’t shine which was totally against character for me, but
Ayden just kept on talking like Loren wasn’t even there.
“Come on Shaw, let’s do something
fun. You know your parents are just going to stress you out and you only turn
twenty once. It should be fun and exciting.” She had a glimmer in her amber
eyes that I knew she was cooking something up that I would be hard pressed to
talk her out of. I shoved the piles of paper into the drop bag and took the
money Ayden handed me and did my tally. We always made good money, but for
whatever reason today had been very profitable. I pulled my hair out of the
ties and raked my nails across my scalp.
“Let’s talk about it later, okay?
I just want to find Lou to walk us out in case Gabe decided to show back up and
head home.”
“You think he will?”
She hooked her arm through mine and
we made our way to the main entrance. “Do you think he would have the nerve to
do that? I mean Rule and his friends seemed pretty intent on getting the point
across that he back off and Lou told him to scram or he was gonna call the
cops.”
“I don’t know, Ayd. He’s acting
crazy. I never would have thought he would show up here and try and be all
grabby and in my face. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I mean it isn’t
like we had some great romance and I left him heart broken or anything. We
were lukewarm on our best days. Rule thinks he’s embarrassed that I dumped him
plain and simple.”
“He’s probably right.”
I made a face as Lou escorted us to
my car. We said goodbye and headed home. I was trying so hard to make
decisions that were best for everyone, I wanted Rule to have the love and
support of his family, I wanted Margot to get help and stop vilifying her son,
I wanted Gabe to get over his deal and just move on and mostly I just wanted to
have everyone else be okay so I could stop feeling so responsible for it all.
***
The next week went by in a blur. I
had two tests, I picked up an extra shift at work and I was doing a very
complicated game of dodge the ex because Gabe also went to DU and even though
he was prelaw and typically on the other end of campus for some reason he
seemed to be popping up around every corner. He called me at least twice a day
and I was considering getting a new number but it seemed like such a hassle
that I just sent his calls to voicemail and got really good at pretending I
didn’t seem him.
Rome called and said Margot wasn’t
doing any better. She was flat out refusing to go see a grief counselor and
was now blaming Rule for the fact that I refused to come to Brookside on the
weekends. According to him she was insisting he had somehow brain washed me
and turned me against her. He wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone just yet
even though Rule was harassing him to come and hangout I could tell he was
feeling the familiar tug I often felt of being caught between his brother and
his mom. I was bummed he wasn’t going to be around on my birthday but he had
so much on his plate I didn’t say anything.
When the weekend rolled around I
was tempted to give my Sunday shift away just to avoid one more weekend of
drama, but the bar was busy and if Rule came in with his friends I didn’t see
him. It was still weird not having to wrangle him for family brunch every
Sunday but when my shift was over and there hadn’t been any headaches or any
accusations and hurt feelings I breathed the first sigh of relief I had in what
felt like years. I was feeling so mellow I let Ayden talk me into skipping a
study group and going to grab Mexican food instead. It was the first time in
forever that I just felt like me and I almost didn’t know what to do with
myself.
Since it was the start of a new
semester I felt like I was drowning in homework so I gave away my Friday shift
and my Sunday shift, I didn’t work this Saturday since it was my birthday and
everyone at the bar knew that Lou just loved me and would murder anyone that
tried to make me work on the day I turned twenty.
By the time Friday afternoon rolled
around I still hadn’t heard from either of my folks so I figured I was off the
hook for forced family time, but I had received a text from Margot asking me to
reconsider Sunday this week for my birthday. I had replied I would gladly come
if Rule was invited as well and hadn’t heard anything back. Ayden was being
secretive about what she had planned and it was making me nervous. I would’ve
been happy with sushi and the movies again but she kept insisting that we
needed to branch out, have an adventure, and do something new. Those words and
her take no prisoners attitude seemed like a recipe for disaster but I was
trying to stay positive because she was only trying to be nice to me and she
was an amazing friend.
I was walking out of my anatomy
class and texting one of the girls from work to remind her that she was working
my closing shift tonight when I bumped into someone and immediately recoiled in
fear and irritation. Gabe was standing in front of me looking as wrinkle free
and immaculately groomed as always. His dark hair looked like he had been
running his hands through it none stop and when he reached out to steady me I
scrambled back so fast that I almost fell backwards onto my ass.
“What are you doing?” I wanted to
sound indignant and hostile, but my voice cracked and I had to clear my throat
to regain my composure. His blue eyes searched mine intently and I wondered
how I had ever found him attractive when now he just weirded me out.
“Uh, you aren’t returning any of my
calls and you’ve been really hard to pin down lately.”
“That’s because I don’t want to
talk to you or see you. Get out of my way.”
“Shaw, wait.” He held up a hand
and dug something out of his pocket and held it out towards me. “I know your
birthday is tomorrow and I just wanted to get you something to say I’m so sorry
for how I’ve been acting. I was just crazy that you might have moved on to
that freak but your mom explained it isn’t like that between the two of you.
Here take it.” He shoved the velvet box towards me and I backed away like he
was holding a live snake in his hands.