Rumors (7 page)

So
today, Thursday, I had stepped into his classroom after school and
asked what he missed most about her. Mr. Nordell immediately
stopped what he was doing and sat down with me. He talked about
missing her companionship, hearing the music she played, and
smelling the food she cooked wafting through the house and
welcoming him home. He talked about the laughter and conversations
they shared, and the memories of raising two kids
together.

I asked
him if her death had changed him significantly. His response was,
“You can’t get hit with an emotional sledgehammer without incurring
some psychological scarring.” He told me to come back another day,
and he would elaborate. Not once did he ask about Maddie’s death or
my near drowning. For once, it was just refreshing to listen to
someone else share their story of love and loss.

I tried to explain this to Tara, but the first thing she said
from the couch was, “NERD-dell? You were hanging out with
that
old
geezer?”

“
Tara, really? Ok, this is why I wasn’t going to tell
you.”

Tara’s
dad happened to walk into the kitchen during our conversation. He
poked his head out from behind the wall. “Did you say Nordell? As
in Frank Nordell?’

“
Yeah, that dreary geek of a science teacher,” Tara answered.
“Talk about snooze-fest during tenth grade biology.”

“
Oh come on, he wasn’t that bad. He was interesting if you
were paying attention,” I defended.

Mr.
Davis chimed into the conversation. “Nordell is still there, huh?
He was my teacher during senior year. You guys call him “NERD-dell”
now? Well, that’s certainly a change.”

“
How do you mean?” I asked.

“
I’ll be right back,” Mr. Davis said, hurrying down into the
basement. A few minutes later, he returned with an old yearbook
from twenty years ago. It was from Mr. Davis’ senior year. “See,
look here,” he continued, flipping through the pages. He paused at
a full spread of pictures and an article highlighting Mr. Nordell.
Aside from the contrast in age, I was surprised by the photos I
saw, portraying a much younger Nordell with a wide smile and a
brightness to his eyes that made them seem larger than they
actually were.

“
Nordell was all the rage,” Mr. Davis said, flipping a few
pages to show more pictures of Mr. Nordell hanging out with
students. Some of the pictures portrayed science experiments with
students eagerly involved, while others were of a goofy nature with
Mr. Nordell wearing a rainbow afro wig or ridiculous glasses. All
of his pictures included students squeezing into the picture,
seemingly eager to be a part of the memories.

“
Wow, I can’t believe so many kids are hanging on him, like he
was cool or something,” Tara interjected.

“
He was,” Mr. Davis said, turning to a page dedicated to
teacher superlatives. He pointed to a laughing Nordell, his jaw
opened wide in what appeared to be a boisterous laugh. Underneath
the picture were the words:
Most likely to
change the world, one laugh at a time!

“
He was well-liked by every student he encountered, and he
could turn any bad day upside down. It’s too bad about his wife,”
Mr. Davis added, closing the yearbook. “They didn’t find out about
her cancer until it was stage four. She passed away within a few
months of her diagnosis.” Tara’s dad shook his head
sympathetically. “The interesting thing though, is that I didn’t
even know Nordell
had
a wife until she became sick. Nordell was friendly and
outgoing but not very open when it came to his personal
life.”

Considering the cherished memories and details that Mr.
Nordell had shared with me already, this fact surprised me. So he
really
had
changed. I continued to listen to Mr. Davis
reminisce.

“
I had just graduated high school when she died, so I didn’t
follow up with how Nordell faired after all that, though I heard
back then that it hit him pretty hard. I can only imagine…” He put
his arm around Tara’s shoulders. “Don’t know what I’d do if your
mom died.”

“
Yeah, that would suck,” Tara agreed. “Well,” she said with a
shake of her shoulders to remove her dad’s arm, “I’m sure that
won’t happen to us.”

I tried
to ignore the bitter thoughts in my mind. I was envious of her
naïve outlook on death—as if tragedy wouldn’t strike her family
simply because everything seemed to go right for her. I used to be
like that. I used to think my life was invincible, too.

It
wasn’t—and I wanted now, more than ever, to visit with Mr. Nordell
again.

The
lunch bell rang. Walking down the hall on Friday, I hurried toward
Mr. Nordell’s room. In my haste, I didn’t even see Shane until he
called my name and grabbed my arm to slow me down.

“
There you are,” Shane said, turning me around. His eyes
grazed my body. “Where are you going? Didn’t you see my
texts?”

I pulled
my arm free from his grasp, not appreciating the firm hold. “No, I
haven’t had time to check my phone. I was in a hurry, actually.” I
noticed the irritated gleam in his eyes.

“
Well, wherever you were going, you need to cancel. Austin
just had free period and is driving back with pizza. He’s meeting
us in the senior quad. Come on.” He took my arm again, pulling me
in the other direction.

“
Hey, stop it,” I said, freeing my arm once again. I didn’t
appreciate him physically intervening in my plans—plans that were
more important to me than eating pizza. The annoyance in Shane’s
expression returned.

“
What’s the matter with you?” he asked. His dark eyebrows
furrowed with disappointment. “We’ve hardly hung out all week. You
keep disappearing.” His voice softened, and his fingers caressed
the side of my face. “You ok?”

At his
touch, my own annoyance faltered, as did my words. I could admit
that I wasn’t being much of a girlfriend to him this past week… or
whatever our relationship was at the moment, but it all felt a
little superficial. Still, it was easier to hide in this dating
limelight than grief’s spotlight. I gently removed his fingers from
my face but made a point of holding his hand.

“
Yeah, I’m fine.” Burying a sigh, I turned my back on Mr.
Nordell’s classroom. My conversation with him would have to wait
until after the weekend now. “All right, let’s go get some
pizza.”

***

That
night, we crept along the fence of an apartment building, hoping to
gain access to the community hot tub. Tara and Austin led the way,
followed by three other friends from our group: Ben, Tonya, and
Landon. Shane and I were bringing up the rear. As suspected, since
it was just past ten PM, the gate was locked and the pool area
empty.

A part
of me hoped we would just call it a night. We had already stayed
after school for the boys’ basketball game. After showers, we met
up at Shane’s house for a movie in his home-theater room. That was
actually pretty impressive, with the basement designed in stadium
seating and a projector. Now, however, I was anxious about getting
caught breaking into the apartment complex—but I also didn’t want
to be the first to bail. Everyone had already given me a hard time
at lunch today while we ate pizza in the quad, talking about how I
had pretty much ditched them all week.

“
Looks like we’ll have to jump the fence after all,” Austin
said, assessing the height.

“
It’s only seven-feet high or so,” Ben said, testing the
strength of the iron fence by jumping and applying some of his
weight. It seemed sturdy enough. One by one, we took turns hopping
over the fence by utilizing someone’s knee for extra height and
stability. The sharp, pointed ends at the top of the fence were a
little trickier to hurdle, but with help, we all managed to jump
over unscathed.

We had
to rely on the nearby street lamps to provide dim lighting around
the hot tub, but it was enough. We stripped our sweats and T-shirts
down to our swimsuits and slipped into the hot tub. Fortunately,
the water was still warm. Tonya hit the switch for the jets,
blasting us with a spray of bubbles.

“
Man, this was the best idea ever,” Shane said, sinking up to
his chin.

“
Yeah, no kidding,” Austin agreed. There was a chorus of
approval from our group. My nerves aside, I had to admit that the
hot tub felt incredibly soothing on my aching muscles.

“
Well,” Landon said, leaning over the edge of the hot tub to
grab his duffle bag. “Time for the essentials.” He unzipped it and
pulled out a couple of six-packs. He popped the cans off the
plastic rings and handed them out.

I shook my head and turned down Landon’s offer, hearing
Shane’s can crack open with a
hiss
beside me. I watched Tara accept the beer, though
her eyes flicked towards me before she looked away again. She
didn’t drink often—just enough to appear social, as she put it—but
she knew I disapproved. I wasn’t so naïve to believe drinking
didn’t happen with these guys every weekend, but I didn’t like to
be around it.

Shane
took a gulp before slipping his arm around my shoulders. “What?
You’re not gonna drink tonight?”

“
Not any night,” I corrected, ignoring the smirks from Tonya
and Landon. Shane chuckled before taking another sip.

“
All right, all right,” he said, obviously humored by my
statement. I wasn’t sure what he thought was so funny.

“
Come
on
,”
Austin complained, nuzzling Tara’s neck. She giggled in response,
though her eyes caught mine with a touch of apprehension. “Lighten
up, Allie.”

“
Hey, ease up, man,” Shane said to his friend, sitting up
against the hot tub. “She doesn’t want a drink. Big
deal.”

I glared
at Austin. “If you cared about your position on the basketball team
as much as you appear, I’d be more cautious if I were you. If any
of you get caught,” I said, my eyes darting back to Tara, “you’re
going to be kicked off the team, or at least suspended from a game
or two. Are you really willing to jeopardize that?” As wrestlers,
this could affect Ben and Landon, too.

Tara
sided with Austin, blindsiding me with her comment. She almost said
the words under her breath, but not quite. “What’s it to you? It’s
not like you care about our team anyway.”

My mouth opened, my mind reflecting on the grueling training
I’d endured for the past month. “It was
one
practice, Tara. I missed
one
practice.” I
couldn’t believe Tara was ganging up on me with Austin. She had a
tendency to be outspoken, but there was something more scornful
about her words tonight, and they were aimed at me.

“
You’re totally off your game,” Tara said, placing her beer on
the side of the hot tub.

“
What are you talking about? I work my butt off in practice!”
I could feel a rush of heat touch my face, fueled by disbelief and
hurt.

Tara shook her head. “Sure, you’re
training
, but when it comes to the
team—to the game—you’re still stuck in your own little world. Take
Wednesday’s game, for instance. You were out there on the court,
but it’s like you were just going through the motions. Yes, we won,
but where’s that fire and drive you used to have? I mean,
seriously, did that part of you drown with your cousin?”

Tara’s
hand slapped over her mouth, her eyes wide. She obviously hadn’t
meant to say those words, but with how fast they slipped from her
lips, she most definitely had them locked and loaded. “I—I mean…”
Her words stuttered, her voice soft and uncertain.

I
clenched my jaw, refusing to let the sting of her words show on my
face. Still, I had to swallow the lump in my throat, praying the
burning in my eyes wouldn’t result in tears. I watched Tara’s face
crumple, an apology forming in her gaze.

The
expressions on everyone’s face showed their discomfort, their eyes
looking back and forth between Tara and me. I couldn’t believe
she’d said that to me, even if there was some truth to her
words.

I stood
up and stepped out of the hot tub, wrapping my towel around my
torso as I stalked off towards the fence with my clothes in
hand.