Run to Me (38 page)

“Are you going to tell them the truth?”

His eyes reflected his continued agony. “I don’t know.”

Her heart hurt for him, but nothing she could say would change his mind. After the hell he’d gone through, Cole’s sense of decency and justice remained steadfast.

He stood, pulled Shea to her feet, and hugged her hard. “Go after that stubborn idiot you adore. Tell him I hope we can be friends again someday.”

“He was always your friend, Cole.”

“Yeah, well, things got a little strained between us after I married the woman he loved.”

Shea snorted. “He’s the one who played matchmaker.”

A genuine grin curved his mouth. “True. Big dumb lug. Tell him I’ll forgive him if he asks me to be his best man.”

Returning Cole’s hug, Shea felt hope spiral through her. Ready or not, Ethan Bishop was in for more than a few surprises.

A soft, slender body pressed down on him; a hand covered his mouth. Instantly, he knew. He lay still, waiting, not daring to hope.

“Ethan, I’m taking you out of here. Understand?”

Beneath her hand, he smiled at the familiar words he’d whispered to her months ago. “Where are you taking me?”

Removing her hand, she breathed out a soft laugh. “I haven’t decided.”

“What are you going to do once you get me to wherever you’re taking me?”

“I’m going to tie you up and do wicked things to your body until you admit you can’t live without me.”

Ethan rolled her over onto her back. “Hell, baby, you don’t have to tie me up for me to admit that. But feel free to start on those wicked things.”

“Good, because I’d much rather have your hands all over me when I ravish your gorgeous body.”

The trees outside the window filtered the early morning light. Shea’s beautiful face smiled up at him, her emerald eyes gleaming with love and determination.

“What about Cole?”

“We’re not married. Our divorce became final just before that last op.”

Ethan’s heart skidded to a stop, then skyrocketed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it would make any difference.”

“That’s why you’d been crying that day.”

Snuggling against him, her head pressed against his chest, she nodded. “I felt so guilty. Even though it wasn’t a real marriage, I felt like I had let him down.”

What the hell did that mean? Pushing her away slightly, he looked down at her. “What do you mean, it wasn’t a real marriage?”

“We never slept together.”

More relieved than he had a right to feel, Ethan couldn’t let that go. “Why not?”

“Because we didn’t love each other in that way. When we got married, it didn’t seem right because I was still in love with you. And I think Cole felt all sorts of guilt for marrying his best friend’s girl. And he was still in love with his wife. Then I lost the baby, and that was a really rough time for both of us. After I healed, it just never came up again.” She giggled and added, “I think we both felt like we’d be committing incest. We loved each other too much like brother and sister.”

Ethan closed his eyes. How he’d hated Cole during that time, even though he’d had no right to feel that way. After all, he’d pushed them together. But he’d never been able to get the vision of Shea and Cole making love out of his mind.

“What’s changed?”

She tilted her head to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“You said you didn’t tell me you weren’t married to Cole because you didn’t think it would make a difference. What changed your mind?”

“I realized something … thanks to Cole pointing it out to me.”

“What?”

“I’m not the same person I was before. I’m stronger. I’m not going to let you say no to me anymore. I kept waiting for you to fight for me. Expecting you to come running back to me and admit you loved me. I never fought hard enough for you.”

“So what now?”

She pressed a kiss to his chin. “Up to you, big boy. I only know one thing … I’m not leaving … ever.”

“You’re serious?”

“Can’t get any more serious than that.”

When he didn’t speak, Shea sat up, and though she tried to hide it, the vulnerability was there. She thought he was going to try to turn her away again. And though she’d bravely announced that she wasn’t leaving, the fear of rejection was on her face. He had to make sure of one thing, before they went any further.

“Can you forgive me, Shea? For everything?”

“I think we need to forgive each other.”

As he was about to insist that he had nothing to forgive her for, she pressed her fingers against his mouth. “Please, Ethan … listen. We both made mistakes. Very serious ones. But can’t we put all of that behind us and look to the future? I’m not giving up on you. You seem to believe you don’t deserve happiness because of what happened fifteen years ago. I didn’t know Abby, but if you loved her, she must have been a wonderful person, and I can guarantee, if she loved you, she would want you to be happy.”

Breath shuddered through him. He’d let her go once and regretted it for years. Had never believed he’d have a second chance with her. Never believed she could forgive him for everything he’d done. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again. But he needed to know the answer to another very important question. He’d joined LCR with the intent of doing something good and valuable with his life. He’d put that on hold for too long. The need hadn’t changed.

“What if I want to go back to LCR?”

Ethan knew that if he lived to be a hundred, he would never forget the beauty of the smile Shea gave him. “That’s what I want, too.”

“You wouldn’t rather stay here?”

“No, but if you decide later on that’s what you want, that’s okay, too. Haven’t you figured that out yet, Ethan? You’re my home.”

Could it be that simple? “So you’re not letting me go, huh?”

“Nope.”

“I let you go once, Shea … I won’t do that again.”

“I never wanted to go in the first place.”

Leaning his forehead against hers, he whispered, “I was an idiot.”

“We both were.” Shea drew him down for a tender kiss. “Can you say it aloud, Ethan?” With a wry grin, she added, “Without me holding a knife on you? I really, really need to hear the words.”

Ethan took her hand and placed it on his heart. “I love you, Shea. You’re my heartbeat … my life. Stay with me forever. Be my partner, my lover. Be my wife.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, the tip of her nose, then her mouth. Before she could respond, he pulled away and added, “There’s something else I want, too.”

“What?”

“Babies.”

A joyous giggle burst out. “Can we do both?”

“If anyone can, we can.”

“You once said that this world was too rotten to bring kids into it … do you still think so?”

“When we’re not making babies, we’ll work at making the world safe for them.”

She beamed up at him. “Sounds like a plan… . How many babies?”

“At least four.”

“Four?” she gasped.

His heart whole for the first time ever, Ethan covered her mouth with his, swallowing her gasp. Then, lifting his mouth slightly, he growled against her lips, “Okay, five … but that’s my final offer.”

Gifting him with the beautiful laugh he’d fallen in love with years ago, she threw her arms around him and whispered, “Deal.”