Running From Destiny (17 page)

“Ally, I
wasn’t going behind her back. I broke it off long before you came along, but we never notified the press for fear of it causing trouble in her career. Stupid, I know. But it’s the truth.”

“How can the press not know?
Have you been seen with her recently? Those vultures have ways of finding things out, Jackson. I find it hard to believe you can keep something like that a secret.”

“When Madison went into rehab, she fell off of their radar and so did I, so making a formal announ
cement was no longer necessary. I thought and prayed she’d get the help she needed and no one would even remember we were together once.”

I sit there quietly, absorbing all he has said, but it’s jus
t not sinking in. I brush away a tear and his face softens. “I can’t do this right now, I need to go home.”

I stand up and march off to the room where Heather
is sleeping and open the door. She’s sitting up in the bed, looking very drunk and very confused.

“Where am I?” She slurred
.

“Jacks
on’s condo, but we’re leaving. Get up and put your shoes on so his car can take us home. You can crash at my place.”

“What happened?”
She asks.

“
I’ll tell you when we get home. All I can say right now is that it’s over. Now, hurry up, I’m ready to get out of here. I refuse to cry in front of him and I am not sure how much longer I can hold it in.”

She rolls out of bed, stumbling over her own feet and I reach out and grab her arm, holding her up with one hand her shoes in the other hand, and we make our way back out into the great room.

As I open the door to leave, Jackson is behind me. There is pain in his eyes, but understanding too. How could he be so affected by me after such a short time and how can I be so affected by him? I shake my head and he leans in for a soft kiss. I’m too weak and upset to fight him, so I allow his lips to softly brush over mine. “This isn’t over, Alexandra.”

“Yes, it is.” And I make a quick escape, holding on to Heather so she doesn’t fall.

“If you throw up on me I’ll kill you.” I say to her as we enter the lobby the limo is waiting at the curb and we get in the car. “You may want to give us a trash can in case she can’t hold it in.” I tell the driver, who hands me some plastic bags. “These will do.”

I sit back and H
eather lays her head in my lap. I keep the bags handy in case she gets sick, but she is sound asleep for now. I close the privacy screen and as soon as I do, the tears start flowing. My eyes burn and my nose starts running and I break down into a full sob. I’ve never cried like this before. Well, maybe once when my grandma died, but this was different.

Th
is time my heart was bleeding. I was part upset over the fact that it was over, but mostly angry that he had put me in this situation to begin with. He was engaged to her, he shouldn’t be going after other women if people still believe he is, especially ones that make it obvious they aren’t interested to begin with. I’m angry at Heather for not having my back either. But.... I like him. Strange as that may sound, I do. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend......well, a book boyfriend anyway. I never thought I would have my very own, and the way things are going, I never will again.

My shoulders heave and snot is flowing f
reely as I search for a tissue. I find a small package of tissues in the mini bar and blow my nose, waking Heather up. She lifts her head and looks at me. “What’s wrong?” She asks, trying to sit up, but the rocking of the car has her swaying side to side. I lean into her and let the tears go, I'm sobbing so hard that I can’t breathe and I start having the panic attack I fought off earlier.

I’m heaving and wheezing and I can’t stop the tears a
nd Heather starts freaking out. Apparently her best friend having a panic attack is a quick way to sober her up. “Shhhh, breathe Al. Breathe.” She whispers as she rubs my back. I’m thankful that I thought to close the privacy screen before I broke down, because the driver would surely run and tell Jackson what’s happening and he'd be at my front door within moments.

I start wondering if he can hear me
, even though he can’t see me. That is all it took to calm me down. I don’t want any more contact with Jackson, so I do my best to settle my nerves. I tell Heather the story of what happened between me and Jackson, after he threw her over his shoulder and hauled her out of the bar. She vaguely remembered, but that was where her memory cut off.

“Oh Ally, I’m so sorry.
But maybe this is for the best for both of you. He won’t have to worry about you while he’s cleaning up Madison’s mess. He can focus on her and getting her better. He did say it wasn’t over right? Maybe he will come back for you once this all dies down.”

“I don’t know” I snub
. “I’m not sure I want him too. He’s too much for me, I can’t handle it. I need to just find a nice, normal guy who will love me for who I am.”

“You don’t think Jack
son likes you for who you are? Of course he does, that’s why he keeps coming back, sweetie. He’s smitten with you, and maybe that scares him. I know it’s scaring you.” Heather tries to console me, but it isn’t working.

“I didn’t ask for this
. I got swept up in him, and now I’m drowning. I can’t breathe.” I suck in a gulp of hair, coughing like a twenty year smoker.

Heather pats my back. “We’re home.
Let’s get you inside and in the tub with a glass of wine. That should help. Then you can think about all this tomorrow.

“No, I just want to go to bed.
I’m exhausted, and I can’t think about it anymore. It’s over and I have to move on. Thinking about it gives me a headache.”

We walk in and I go straight for the ibuprofen a
nd then to my room. Heather sheds her dress as she flops onto my sofa, pulling the throw blanket from the back on to her, and she is immediately asleep. I chuckle, because I doubt she will remember a thing about tonight. She’ll wake up wondering how she got here; I doubt she will even remember Doug. I hope she doesn’t remember my break down in the car either, because a sober conversation with her will be much worse than the drunk one we had in the limo.

I throw on an oversized tee shirt, brush my
teeth and wash my face. As I crawl into the bed I hear my phone chirp from the other room. I throw the covers back off and go dig in my purse for it.

J - Sleep well.
Talk soon. Xoxo

“Huh?” I say out loud to myself. But I don’t respond to the message. I have nothing more to say to him. He needs to get his shit together and leave me out of his problems.

I curl up under the covers
, but sleep does not come easy. I toss and turn, waking up several times in a pool of sweat. I know I’ve been dreaming, but I don’t remember the dreams, I just know they are preventing me from rest. I would go out in the living room and watch TV, but Heather is sleeping on the sofa and I don’t want to disturb her. I get out of bed and head down the hall grabbing my briefcase, I slide my laptop out. Might as well see what other information I can find out on Jackson, just to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing by calling it off.

I re-read the Wikipedia article on him and nothing has changed except the arrest of Madison Stone has now been included.
I go to the images and there are photos of him on the red carpet, at promotional events and some just on the street, walking. He’s with Madison in some, others he is with a group of people or by himself. I never see him with any other woman. Maybe he is telling the truth.

I continue to scan the search results when I see a breaking news headline pop up on TMZ.

Madison Stone found dead in rehab faci
lity of apparent drug overdose. Details to come.

Holy Shit! Does Jackson know? He sent me that text earlier, but I never responded. Surely he’s on his way back to New York by now. I debate sending him a text, but I stop myself. No. He needs to handle this on his own. I can’t get involved. And what could I do anyway, but make things more confusing for him.

I keep looking for more i
nformation, but find nothing. I guess I’ll have to wait until more is available. I add the page to my links in hopes that updates will be easier to find and close my lap top. She overdosed? Oh my God, Jackson has to be torn apart. I know he said they weren’t together anymore, but he still planned to marry her at some point, so he has to be hurting. I suddenly feel the need to reach out to him, but unsure if I should.

I stroll out to the living ro
om and Heather is still asleep. I refuse to wake her, cause she’s grumpy when she doesn’t get enough sleep and I need her fresh and happy before I tell her about this. I make coffee and wait for the pot to brew, sitting at the kitchen table lost in thought when Heather comes in. “Do I smell coffee?” She asks, sleepily. “It’s brewing now. How ya feeling?”

“Ummm, not sure yet.
Where’s the aspirin?” She asks and I point to the cabinet by the refrigerator. She pops two pills and sits down, her hands in her face.

“Damn girl, y
ou look rough.” I smile at her. I feel fine, thankfully. But I really need her to wake up so I can talk. I have no one else to discuss this with, so I wait patiently while she wakes up and shakes off the hangover.

“What in the hell happened last night? She finally asks.

“You don’t remember anything?”

“Shit, no.
Why do I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus? Did I really drink that much?” She asks.

“Yep, you kept doing shots with Doug and then sucking face with him.” I smile at her.

“Who? Oh wait, yeah. I think I remember. Damn he was hot. Did Me....” She drifts off.

“No, we left before it got to that point, though you weren’t happy about it.”

“Tell me.”

I go over everything from the moment Jackson
tossed her over his shoulder. I had told her this in the limo, but she apparently didn’t remember. I tell her Jackson and I talked and that I told him I knew everything before I dropped the bomb.

“What? She’s dead?
When did this happen?” She asks. I grabbed my laptop and showed her the article. “Oh Al, TMZ is full of shit. Not everything you read online is true. Let’s wait and see if it makes the news before jumping to conclusions.” She says as she walks to the TV to turn it on.

After scrolling the channels for a few minutes
, she stops and her jaw drops. “Al, it’s true. Look!” She points at the TV. Jackson and what may be her family are leaving the hospital, covering their heads to avoid being seen. I can tell its Jackson by the movement of his body.

“You are looking at Madison Stone’s former fiancé and attorney, Jackson Bentley and Miss Stone’s family as they leave the Iron Hope Center after learning that Miss Stone had passed away due to an apparent drug overdose. Miss Stone was admitted last month after being arrested for possession of methamphetamine at a party in Brooklyn. She was indicted last week and was awaiting arraignment.

“Fuck! That’s horrible! How did she get drugs in a rehab facility anyway?” Heather says to the television. I sit in silence staring at the TV, my tongue has stopped working and I don’t know what to say or what do.

“Do I call Jackson and express my sympathy
or do I wait...or do nothing?”Then I realize the reporter sai
d
forme
r
fiance. He told them, getting probably an ugly pain off of his shoulders. Did he do that for me or for himself?

Shaking he
r head, “Nothing at this point. He’s got enough going on right now. If she died in a rehab facility, there is going to be an investigation as to how she got the drugs. If he’s acting as her attorney, he’s going to be busy. Let it go. As much as I hate to say it, but that’s what you need to do. I’m sorry I pushed you two together anyway. He just seemed so into you, but I should have done my research before forcing the issue. I’m sorry, Al.”

“
Its okay, H. He was....is, an enigma. I tried to stay away, but he pulled me in with his laser beam and I was frozen. Chalk it up to experience and move on huh?” But I wondered if I could. No man had ever made me feel like a queen before. He knew exactly where and how to touch me so that I flew apart in his arms. I’ve never experienced that before, I doubt I ever will again.

“We’ll find you someone new, Al.”

“No. You. Won’t. Heather. If I choose to date, I will do the choosing. Do not try to fix me up again. This was enough to turn me off for a while anyway, I’m just going to focus on work and getting that promotion. Maybe I’ll go back to school too. I can find plenty of things to keep my mind off of everything. It’s all good.”

But inside I wasn’t sure.
I should have been an actress, because I can fake it with the best of them. I can even cry on a dime if I need to, though I try not to do that. I really wanted Jackson, but I knew he was bad news when we met, I just couldn’t stay away. I could push and run, but he always came back. Will he come back this time? I somehow doubt it because this will be too much for him. He didn’t tell me about her for a reason; I don’t know what that reason is, and I will probably never know.