Running From Destiny (28 page)

“Why don’t you come to my office and we’ll discuss it.” Tim says as he waits for me to stand up, and I feel the tension.
Here it comes. I’m either about to be put back to admin duties or about to be fired. I figure the latter, since he looks so glum.

I march behind him to his office and he closes the door behind me, the sound of the door latching sounds louder than it probably should, over the roaring in my head and the sound of my heartbeat.
I feel like I’ve been a bad girl and now I am facing the principal, anxiously awaiting my punishment. I just know that I’ve screwed up so badly that my days at Robertson Industries are over. I silently wonder if I can still get that job with Jackson.

“Have a seat, Ally.” He says as he takes his own seat, rocking back in it raising his hands over his head.
“Last week, Archie Raymer called me. As you know, he’s the project manager at the Ravinia remodel.”

Uh oh, here it comes.

“He had so much to say about you, Ally. In fact, he was so pleased with your knowledge and your professionalism he wants you to handle the design of a new construction project that is in the planning stages for the Ga 400 area near the Perimeter. You up for the challenge?”

I am totally blown away.
“Wow, really? Umm, sure. I’m definitely up for it.” I say, the gloomy feeling in my stomach fading away and turning into a happy rumbling.

“And, because o
f
how highly he speak
s
of you, I am promoting you to Project Manager. No more admin duties for you. I plan to post an ad in the paper next week to hire you an assistant.”

“Holy shit!
Ooops, sorry about that. But.....holy shit!” I say again, embarrassed by my outburst of profanity in front of my boss. Thankfully he just laughs. “No worries, Ally. I know you have worked hard to get to this point and I am very proud of you. And, I’ve heard those words before, so no offense taken.”

He reaches into a stack of papers on his desk and slides it to me.
“This will be your new salary and extended benefits. You will be supplied with a Blackberry and iPad to have on you at all times. The iPad will be loaded with applications and programs to help you out in the field. Other than that, you will keep doing what you’re doing, with the exception of the admin stuff. You will need to train your replacement, are you okay with that?” He asks with a big ole goofy grin on his face.

“Yes sir, thank you so much.
I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t.
You deserve this, you’ve more than earned it. Congratulations.” He continues as he stands to shake my hand. “Welcome aboard.”

I shake his hand rigorously, my fingers tingling and my heart racing.
Not only did I just get my dream job, but my salary just doubled. Now I can get rid of that death trap of a car I have and get me something good. I’m totally stoked about all of this that I skip back to my desk, passing Sally along the way. Great. She’s gonna be thrilled. Not really, that is sarcasm at its finest. She’s been here longer than me and still an admin. Oh well.....not my problem.

“What’s up Ally?
You look pleased.” She asks with that sly look, like she’s just waiting to hear something juicy.

“Nothing much, just having a good day.
That’s all.” I say, damned if I am going to feed her bad habit. I can’t stand people that like to poke their nose into other people’s business. She’ll find out soon enough.

I sit back down at my desk and grab my cell to call Heather, but before I do I pull up my email program and Tim has already sent the email announcement of my promotion. Damn, he’s quick.
I figure he’d better be the one to spread it around before Ms. Nosey Pants gets a hold of the info. Almost immediately people are crowding around my desk, shaking my hand and hugging me in congratulations. I’m so excited that I forget to call Heather right away. It’ll be okay though, she’ll understand.

I breeze through my day and finish up some open items for the project I’m currently on, and review the specs that Tim has sent me on the new project.
This is going to be one hell of a project and I can’t wait to sink my teeth into it.

As soon as I get home,
I walk up to my door and see a large vase of red roses sitting there. Looking around, I don’t see anyone that might have delivered them, so I pick them up and carry them into the apartment. I call Heather and tell her the good news and she is just as excited as I am, but then gets worried that I'm going to move out of my apartment and away from her. I calm her down and convince her that I am not going anywhere except the car lot this weekend, then drinks are on me! As we talk, I grab the card from the flowers to see who they’re from and drop the card. Jackson.

“They’re from Jackson.” I whisper out loud, but to no one in particular
.

“What is?” Heather asks
.

“Oh my God, Heather.
Jackson sent me roses congratulating me on the promotion.

Congratulations, my sweet girl. You deserve this. So proud of you. - J xoxo

Chapter 24

I don’t sleep real well that night, between the rush of work that day and Jackson, I’m flustered.
I stare at the fan above my bed, trying to count the rotations, but I end up making myself dizzy. Should I call him? Should I wait until he’s back in Atlanta? How do I know he’s not already back here, or could he be in Miami? Would he want me to call? I go over and over these questions in my head, deciding that I need to try and think of something else.

My mind immediately goes back to
New York, the night of the fundraiser. The feel of his soft skin and hard muscles, what a delicious contrast. His body leaning over me on the table while he......great, now my panties are wet. My fingers drift up over my breasts and I toy with my nipples, causing them to harden. I stroke over them softly and gently pinch them, causing another rush of moisture between my legs. Leaving one hand on my breast, I snake the middle finger between the soft folds of my warm flesh, gently stroking the sensitive nub before inserting it into myself.

I fantasize that my finger is Jackson’s tongue, dancing across my sex and teasing me.
His hot breath caressing the tender flesh, causing my back to arch and my hips to rise, giving me deeper access as I insert a second finger. I stroke myself almost to the edge and stop, not wanting this to end so soon. I reach into my bedside table and grab my BOB, thrusting it into my hot cleft hard, then gentle. I mock his rhythm, closing my eyes and throwing my head back.

Then, I turn on the vibrations to low, and slow down the thrusting.
I can feel my toes beginning to curl and my thigh muscles tighten. I crank up the vibration, pulling it out and pressing it firmly against my throbbing clit. As I pinch my nipple I feel the wave of intensity crash over my body, my limbs jerking violently as my orgasm takes me away. Takes me to Jackson. The intense release finally sends me into a peaceful slumber, as I am sated, satisfied and determined to get him back.

By the time I get home the next day, I decide to send him a basic text.
Since I don’t know where he is, I don’t want to call and interrupt him if he’s busy, but I want to thank him for the flowers. Then it dawns on me, how did he know I got promoted? He must still have someone watching over me and I end up pissed off. Damn these emotions, why can’t they straighten themselves out?

But I shake it off, my feelings for him over riding the anger.
I want him in my life. No, I need him. He makes me feel things no man ever has, a feeling of contentment - and sometimes anger and frustration - but mostly happiness and passion. My decision made, I type in my text.

A - Thk u 4 the flwrs, they’re beautiful

After sucking in a breath, I press send and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

After about thirty minutes, I’ve got nothing.
I start to get a feeling low in my belly and I realize that I’m too late. This sucks. I knew he wouldn’t wait too long, and I fucking blew it.

I think about sending another text
, but I pause. No. I’m not going to beg. I asked him to give me space to make a decision and I stalled, waiting until it was too late to let him know how I really feel. I did this to myself and I will have to deal with myself. Every few minutes though, I check my phone to see if maybe I just didn’t hear the ding go off, but I didn’t hear it...cause it didn’t go off.

Resigned with the fact that I’ll never hear from him again, I go get changed for bed, putting on my satin boy shorts and matching cami.
I know, fat bottomed girls shouldn’t wear skimpy boy shorts, but I’m not going anywhere, so nobody but me will see them, and they’re comfortable.

I grab a glass of wine from the kitchen and flop on the sofa, scrolling through the channels.
It feels strange not having Heather here, but she’s working late this week trying to make up for being out. At the same time, it’s nice to have a little peace and quiet. I stop the TV on some sappy chick flick on Lifetime and I’m glued. Why do I do this to myself? By the end of the movie, I am balling like baby. These movies are always intense, but have a happy ever after. That's when I realize that I’m not going to get my happy ever after and the tears come harder.

I’m crying so loud I don’t hear the knock on my door.
I settle my sobbing and the knock sounds again. I grab the throw blanket off the back of the sofa and wipe my snotty nose on it. Gross, I know. But I don’t have a tissue handy and I refuse to use my shirt.

I wrap the blanket around me and peer through the peep hole and my heart drops into my stomach
.

Jackson.

I take a deep breath and try to compose myself, but I know it’s no use. He probably heard me crying and won’t leave until I answer the door. “Alexandra? I know you’re home, I hear you crying. Open the door.” He calls through the closed door. Slowly, I flip the dead bolt open and leave the chain, peeking through the cracked door. I figure I’d better confirm it was him before just flinging the door open. I see it is him, and he looks better than he did in the pictures I found online, but he still looks rough.

“Hi.” I say, quietly, my voice weak from crying
.

“Can I come in?” He asks, as I slip the chain and open the door all the way.
I step back and allow him to enter. His eyes flash as he sees me covered in a paisley throw blanket that usually lays on the back of the sofa. His eyes start at my toes and follow the curves of my body until they land at my eyes. I see the thick bags under his eyes, he looks...tired.

“Alexandra.”

He sweeps me in his arms, pulling me close to him and wrapping his strong arms around me. He doesn’t say anything else, just holds me tight, burying his face in my shoulder. I feel his body trembling and shaking, his shoulders heaving. He sniffs and I realize he’s crying.

“Jackson, what is it?” I pull back, brushing my fingers across his cheek, wiping the tears away
.

“When I got your text......” he sobs again.
“I’m so glad you contacted me. The past two weeks have been pure hell without you.” He cups my face in his hands and brushes his lips across mine in a loving, tender kiss. I realize I too have tears streaming down my face and he kisses them away, fastening his lips to mine again and I can taste the salt from our tears on his lips.

“Sit please.” He says as he ushers me to the sofa, still wrapped in the blanket.
“I tried to give you space to figure things out, to recover from everything, but it was so hard.” His head in his hands, looking down toward his feet. “I know I am demanding, arrogant and possessive, but there is a reason for that, and its past time that I explain it all to you.”

He takes a deep breath and begins a story that changes everything
.

“Madison had an uncle that abused her when she was young.
Her parents never believed her and continued to allow her to visit with the uncle.” I see him clenching his fists, holding on to a throw pillow for dear life. I can tell this is hard for him, so I sit back and allow him to speak.

“Once she finally turned eighteen and graduated from high school, I was already away at
Yale doing my undergrad. She came to Connecticut and stayed with me and a friend of mine who lived off campus. While she was there, she told me all about the uncle who molested her and how her parents thought she was crazy and that she needed to let it go. I was furious, of course. Not just at the uncle, but her parents for not believing their only daughter. They were so focused on being the Elite family they were, that they refused to bring scandal into the family.”

“Did he ever get punished for what he’d done?” I ask.

Nodding, he continues. “A few years later, his body was found in the Quinnipiac River, bound and gagged.” I suck in a breath.

“Did you......?”

He looks at me with rage in his eyes, “Hell no, Ally. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a murderer.”

“I-I’m sorry, it’s just.....”

“No Ally, I did not kill him. He crossed the line again after Madison grew up and his newest victim’s father is serving a life sentence. Jesus, Ally. How could you think....?” He looks down again. “No, I get it.” He exhales.

“Madison never recovered and because of that, she had issues that she never overcame.
She tried so hard to please her parents, and me, with modeling, that she succumbed to the peer pressure of staying skinny and looking good, only the bulimia and subsequent drug use took away that beauty. Took her away. I tried to be the man she needed me to be, the decision maker, the man that made her decisions for her, because she couldn’t do it on her own.”

“I’m sorry I did that with you, you are nothing like her and it scared me.
I thought I had to possess you, to keep you safe and make all of your decisions for you, and I was wrong.” He places his hand on my cheek. “Alexandra, you are an enigma. You’re strong, smart, independent, and absolutely breathtaking. I should have been more open to your feisty ways and listened to you when you lectured me over and over about the kind of woman you are, because you were right. And, you were exposed to those evils because of me. Ally, can you ever forgive me?” Tears fill the corners of his eyes, as well as my own.

I realize I am shaking, but not because I’m cold.
It’s because the tenderness and guilt in his eyes is tearing me apart. “I’m sorry too, Jackson. For not trusting in your feelings for me. I’ve never been in a real relationship, never been in love and your pursuit of me freaked me out. Most guys are just looking for a quick fling with me.” I shake my head, still unsure of why...considering. And, where did the word love come from? Shit.

“No one has ever made me feel like you do, so desired and needed.
It’s so out of the norm for me that it scared me and I thought I would be better off without you in my life. But after the past couple of weeks, I’ve realized that I want nothing more. Ca
n
yo
u
forgiv
e
m
e
for being such a skittish kitten?” Squeezing his hands, that have found their way to my thigh, he looks up at me. That sparkling green flashing back at me, washing away the sadness that filled his eyes previously.

“What changed your mind Ally?” He asks, and I can’t blame him
.

“I’ve run from you for months now, confused, angry and scared.
I don’t want to run anymore, I can’t. You bring out the best in me and make me feel so cherished.” I wink at him, hoping to lighten the mood just a little, and it appears to have worked.

“What else?”

“And...” I stutter, embarrassed about what I am about to say. “And, the way you make me feel......geez, how do I say this?” I drop off and turn my head, but he fingers my chin pulling my face back to look at him, heat and desire filling his eyes, but he says no more, allowing me to finish.

“Tell me.”

“I...I had a dream the other night.” I blush.

“Oh really?
Please continue, Alexandra.” He’s gone back to my full name, and I know what that means. “I dreamt about our time in New York, after the fundraiser” was all I could get out before his mouth was on me. His lips soft but firm, his tongue demanding entrance. I concede and part my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He’s desperate to consume me and I am desperate to be consumed, so I return the heated kiss because I have been starving for him. And I want him to know that, to feel that, through my kiss.

His hands travel down to the blanket that I’ve got tightly wrapped around my body and I suddenly realize that I’m almost naked underneath.
Not caring anymore, I loosen my grip on it. Soft lips trace down my bare shoulder, his tongue licking under the thin strap of my cami as his fingers pull open the blanket, exposing me. He pulls back, looking at me like I am his prey, and once again heated moisture pools between my legs. I hear him suck in a breath as his fingers trace over the soft swells of my breasts. “So beautiful.” He whispers against my skin, heating a trail of goose bumps across my flesh.

“You’ll tell me about your little fantasy later, right now I have to have you.
Stand up.” He demands, but this time I don’t flinch. I want this...no I need this, right now. I have been so in control of my own life for so long that I need a moment to pass that control to someone else. To Jackson.

I do as he says, still pulling the blanket with me, tightening it around me.
I’m still self-conscious about my body, but he apparently is not, so I try, really try, to be happy with my body and allow him to use it as he pleases. “Drop the blanket, Alexandra, I want to see you. Please, never cover yourself in front of me.” He growls and I don’t imagine the implication that I am not to show myself to anyone else. I pull the blanket from around my body and let it slowly puddle to the floor.

I have never been a seductress.
My sexual relations up until now have been hurried, clumsy and left me totally unfulfilled. Feeling exposed in my boy shorts and cami, I stand there like a statue, my body tense and unforgiving. “Relax. It’s just me. I won’t hurt you...I will never hurt you.” He says as he stands up, encroaching on my personal space. Strong warm hands spread across my chest, spreading warmth as they travel over my shoulders.