RUNNING GAME (A SECOND CHANCE SPORTS ROMANCE) (14 page)

“
I
t’s going
to be okay, baby, we’re going to figure this out. I promise,” I held Maddy’s hand as the doctor walked out of the room. I was so upset, so worried, so fucking angry that I wanted to lash out at someone, anyone. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let Maddy see how worried I was.

Last night had been a nightmare. One of the worst attacks we’d had so far, and I’d been scared to death as I raced her to the hospital.

She was all I had. She was everything. I couldn’t live without her, and watching her suffer was torture. I felt helpless and that made me furious more than anything else.

I was her mother. I was supposed to protect her. And I couldn’t.

It was like an invisible monster was constantly waiting for us just out of sight, just waiting to attack and knock us off our feet. I wanted to fight it. I wanted to pick up a baseball bat and kick its ass…

But I couldn’t.

There wasn’t a worse feeling in the world than not being able to protect your child.

I’d like to find a way to accept it, but I couldn’t even do that. So, I kept fighting. I kept questioning the doctors and doing my own research.

Everything just pointed to asthma and there was no real cure for that. All we could do was manage the symptoms. We’ve already tried every experimental treatment I could beg borrow or pay my way into, and still…just when we thought something might have worked, she would have another attack.

It was relentless.

And we were both exhausted.

“Can I got home soon?” Maddy asked, her huge blue eyes looking up at me, so full of trust. “I miss Snowflake.”

“Yes, baby. We’re going home in just a little while.” I was glad she’d gotten a little bit of sleep. I’d sat up all night by her side, wringing my hands with worry, hoping the doctor would have something new to say to me. But he didn’t. It was hours before he made his way back around, once Maddy was comfortable, and we finally got to talk.

Or, I guess I did. I mostly vented, instead of talked. He stood by patiently listening and nodding, validating my frustrations. But in the end, he had nothing new to add, nothing new to suggest. We’d been dealing with this for years, and there was no end in sight.

What a way to live.

I looked over at Maddy, my sweet beautiful girl sitting there surrounded by the flowers and balloons Jesse had sent. I reminded myself that she was the one who had to endure the hardest part. I couldn’t imagine how scared she must be every time she had an attack. But she was my little warrior. She never complained. She never asked for anything.

She never even asked why.

She just took it all in stride, accepted it as a part of her life.

But that’s what I couldn’t find it in me to do. I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t just throw up my hands in defeat. This was my little girl.

She was my life.

And I couldn’t allow her life to be saddled with this burden forever. I wasn’t about to accept it. I was going to keep looking for an answer, keep looking for something, anything to obliterate this lurking monster.

“Do I have to go to school today?” she asked.

“No, baby, you’re going to stay home and rest.”

“Are you going to stay home, too?” she asked.

“Yes, baby,” I whispered, squeezing her tiny hand in mine. Jesse’s face flashed in my head, and I pushed the image of him away as fast as I could. I couldn’t think about him now. Another PT would be sent over to Jesse’s place, and he would be fine without me. I wasn’t the key to his healing, he was. He knew what to do.

I’d avoided his calls so far, and I would just keep doing that for the next few days. Or, maybe forever. I hadn’t decided yet. He’d hurt me a lot, whether he meant to or not. But none of that mattered now.

All I knew was that right now, my focus needed to be entirely on my sweet Maddy.

Everything else could wait.

Including me.

And him…

S
even days went
by - seven days I was forced to endure the wrath of Helga. I begun calling her Helga the Hun - she was absolutely terrifying. Every morning I awoke, hoping today was the day that Maisey would come back. And every morning I was sorely disappointed when I opened the door to Helga’s menacing scowl.

She’d left today, leaving me literally bruised and battered. Maisey’s touch was so much more gentle, and I was longing for it by now.

I’d tried calling. Way too many times than I care to admit.

And I’d been met with complete silence. Not even the courtesy of a text.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I have to admit, I was taken aback by the whole thing. I’d never been ignored like this, and it did nothing for my ego. The dent in my pride was getting deeper everyday, and at this point, I was getting antsy.

I needed answers.

I’d have gone myself, I’d have just hung out in my car waiting and watching her, so that I could get my own answers, but me going incognito in this town is basically impossible. I also couldn’t drive myself, so I’d have had to ask Grady to drive me and that would have been even worse. The last thing I needed was Maisey thinking I was some crazy stalker.

I had more class than that.

And money.

Maria was the perfect person for the job. I’d asked her to keep watching Maisey, just to make sure she was safe and that her daughter was okay. I figured if I at least knew that, I wouldn’t worry about her.

I’d been such a complete asshole. I couldn’t blame her if she was mad at me. How could I have been such an ass? We’d barely even started seeing each other. Of course she didn’t want to introduce me to her daughter yet. We weren’t even really a couple yet… So I was hurt, big deal. I was a fucking grown man. I knew better than that.

I did want a relationship with Maisey. I wanted to be a part of her life in a big way. I wasn’t sure what that looked like, but I was willing to try. If that meant taking things slow, I could take things slow! In the meantime, I was worried about more than just my relationship… I was worried about her daughter.

People don’t go to the hospital for fun… I knew that all too well.

I’d just run out of ideas. Apologizing wasn’t something I did. Ever. And here I was, breaking another one of my self-imposed rules. I was blowing her phone up with apologies. Flowers and fucking I’m sorry emojis. It didn’t matter. It had done any good.

There was nothing left to do but leave her alone. I’d stopped calling. Stopped texting. Sure, it was fucking killing me, but I’d done it.

The one thing I hadn’t done was pull Maria off her trail.

She was my one link to Maisey and I wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.

I couldn’t wait for Helga to leave this morning, so I could call Maria for an update.

“How is she?” I asked, now that I finally had her on the phone.

“She looks sad, worried. She’s been back and forth to some doctor’s appointments, went out for groceries once, and that’s it. She takes the daughter every where she goes, and keeps her close by her side.”

“I guess she’s really sick, huh? That’s too bad,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess so. She’s really cute, though. Doesn’t look anything like her Mom, though, except for those curls. Her hair’s a shade darker than yours. Big, beautiful blue eyes.”

“And there’s no father in the picture?”

“Not that I can tell. She does have this big guy named Eddie that comes and goes, but he seems more like a friend.”

“I’ve heard about him. Think he’s the little girl’s father?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Okay, well, that doesn’t matter,” I said, dismissing the issue. The time Maisey had spent away from me was still a big fat mystery, but none of that mattered now. Maybe after some time alone, Maisey would come around and I’d get to know what happened to her a bit better.

I’d find a way to make her love me again…

I’d always used my charms to get between a woman’s legs. I’d never used it to get into her heart before.

Maisey had changed everything for me.

I wanted her.

And that’s the thing about me. Once I set my sights on something, I get it.

She might not know it yet, but I planned on making her mine and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

I’d spent the whole week without her, without seeing her smile, without hearing her laughter, without touching her - and it was entirely too long. I’d drifted off into daydreaming, and almost forgot I was on the phone with Maria until she spoke up again.

“Do you want me to keep following them? I’m pretty sure the girl noticed me at the grocery store the other day. She’s pretty sharp for a ten year old.”

“What did you say?” I asked, my brain snapping into high alert.

“She’s really smart. For a ten year old.”

“She’s ten?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, nine, ten, something like that. I thought I told you that.”

“I thought she was much younger,” my heart began racing in my chest. “Maria - when’s her birthday?”

“Let me look - I have it here in the background check I did. Let’s see…oh, it’s Valentine’s day actually. February 14th. I guess she’s still nine, sorry.”

The numbers flew around in my head, until they settled into one very unbelievable scenario.

I felt the blood drain from my face as I hung up the phone slowly. Maria was still talking, but I’d heard everything I needed to know, and it explained everything perfectly.

“
D
o
we really have to watch Goonies again?” I asked. Maddy and Snowflake were curled up next to me and we were settling into the couch after dinner for a movie. “We’ve seen it a million times.”

“You know how much I love it, Mama,” she replied.

“And you know how it ends already. Don’t you want to watch something new? I here there’s this new show on…”

“Nope,” she said. “I want Goonies. It’s my favorite.”

I stared down into her eyes and sighed. How could I deny her anything? I couldn’t. And she knew it.

“Alright, alright,” I said.

“Yes!” she said, pressing play and snuggling back into my shoulder. I pulled the blanket over us and let my thoughts drift off as she watched Goonies for the millionth time. It had been a week since I’d talked to Jesse and it was getting harder every day. I’d vowed to give him back everything he’d given me, but that would have meant leaving Maddy alone, and I was terrified of letting her out of my sight.

She’d had another mild attack the night before last, but we’d managed to get it under control before we had to go to the hospital. But we’d spent the next day at her doctor’s office, and it was a lot easier driving myself there in the car Jesse had given me, instead of waiting for a taxi. And Maddy had grown quite fond of Snowflake…

It was the easy way out. But it was also the cowardly way out, too. I knew this. I felt terrible about it, and I promised myself that I would call him. I could go see him and try to make amends… But I couldn’t bring myself to face him in the daylight. The words that sounded so good in my head turned into an unacceptable disaster in the sunlight.

So, I’d done nothing. I’d turned my complete attention to taking care of Maddy and left dealing with Jesse on the back burner.

It was easier this way. And I desperately needed things to be easy.

Halfway through the movie, Maddy fell asleep on the couch, her blonde curls splayed over the couch cushion and her bare feet in my lap. I couldn’t help but smile when I looked at her. She slept like an angel, full of peace and beauty.

Gingerly, I removed her feet and stood up from the couch. She stirred lightly, but kept sleeping, so I left her there. I padded to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine, hoping it would do something to help the knots in my shoulders. I’d been so on edge, so tense this last week that my back had turned into one big stress knot.

I tried to remember the last time I’d felt relaxed, but then I realized that it was as I’d laid in Jesse’s arms that night after our date. It seemed so far away now. And yet, I knew that if I picked up the phone, he’d be right there on the other end. I wondered if he was thinking about me. Or, since he’d stopped calling me, maybe he’d finally given up on me.

I knew he wasn’t one for relationship drama, so if I’d pushed him away completely it wouldn’t be a
total
surprise. And maybe it was all for the best.

I had to put what was best for Maddy first. She was my priority.

Not my peace, not my pleasure, not any irrational fantasies I had of having a relationship with Jesse.

The doorbell rang, startling me so bad that I almost dropped my glass.

It must be Eddie,
I thought. He’d probably left something behind when he’d dropped by to check on Maddie earlier. It would be nice to chat with him and have some much needed adult time.

Gleefully, I bounded to the front door and flung it open with a smile.

“Jesse!”

My mouth flew open and I stood there dumbfounded in front of him.

“Hello, Maisey,” he nodded. He looked very serious, but oh so fucking handsome. A black button down shirt was tucked into a pair of black silk trousers that outlined the perfect treasure that I knew was hiding behind the thin cloth. The sun was barely beginning to set behind him, leaving the sky streaked with a soft purple light that washed over his face.

“What - what are you doing here?” I asked. My heart was pounding in my chest, a mixture of anxiety and excitement racing through my veins.

“I was hoping we could talk,” he said. “It’s important… Can I come in?”

“Come in? Um…I - well, sure. Would you like a glass of wine? We could sit on the front porch.” My thoughts jumped to Maddy on the couch in the living room, and I wanted to keep them away from each other.

“That’s fine,” he said, nodding solemnly.

“Stay here,” I swallowed hard, ran to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle and another glass and walked out onto the front porch. I was being incredibly rude not inviting him in. “Sorry, I’d invite you in, but my house is a mess right now.”

“That’s okay,” he said.

“I wasn’t expecting company,” I shrugged, sitting next to him on the porch swing. I’d left the front door open slightly so I could hear Maddy if she needed me. I turned to him slowly. “How’s the knee?”

“It’s better. The Amazonian woman they sent in your place does a helluva job.”

“Oh, no. Did they send Helga?” I asked.

“Yep. I call her Helga the Hun. She’s awful. You were much, much better.”

“I’m so sorry, Jesse. My daughter got sick, and I need to spend some time with her.”

“Are you sure that’s what it is?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we did have a fight,” he said. “And you’ve been avoiding me…”

“Maybe it’s best if we don’t work together. I didn’t mean for things to get so complicated.”

“Complicated,” he said, biting his lip. “That’s one way of putting it.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say next. I stared over at him, drinking in his masculinity, my body responding to him, just as it always did - with intense desire and yearning to get as close to him as I could.

But his energy was different today. He wasn’t flirting, he wasn’t tempting me with his salacious winking and touching. In fact, he hadn’t touched me at all. Or kissed me, which was his usual way of greeting me.

“Maisey, I need to ask you a question and I need you to tell me the truth,” he turned to me, his blue eyes peering deeply into mine.

I nodded, unable to tear my eyes away from his.

“Why did you leave Ault? Why did you leave that day? Why didn’t you wait a week, like you were supposed to?”

“I told you, Jesse,” I replied. “It was just time for me to go.”

“But why? Why
that
day?”

“Why are you asking me all these questions?” I asked, my voice rising. “We’ve already gone over all of this, and you know how bad I had it there. My life was a goddamned mess.”

“I need real answers now, Maisey.”

“What does it matter, Jesse? It was so long ago.”

“Ten.”

“What?”

“Ten years. That’s how long ago it was.”

“Right, wh-whatever,” I said, my words tripping over each other. I felt trapped in a corner, and I wanted out - fast.

“How old is Maddy?” he asked, his voice quiet as a whisper. I froze in my spot, my eyes darting away from his. I couldn’t look at him.

“Nine,” I whispered.

“Maisey, you’re going to have to talk to me about this…”

I looked away, I looked at the neighbor’s house, my lawn, the Volvo in my driveway, and Jesse’s long and low Jaguar sitting next to it with Grady inside at the wheel…

I looked anywhere but at him.

He knew.

Somehow, he’d figured it out.

And I had no idea how to face him.

“Maisey, look at me.”

I bit my lip, my hands wringing in my lap furiously, until he reached over and grabbed one of them in his huge palm. His touch was hot. Too hot. Too real.

I pulled my hand away and stood up, walking to the other side of the porch, ignoring his questions.

The swing squeaked as he stood up behind me, his footsteps falling loud behind me. His hands clasped my shoulders, pulling me around to face him. He put a finger under my chin, raising my eyes to his.

“Tell me the truth, Maisey,” he said, his voice so loud, so clear, so demanding. “Is Maddy my daughter?”

“Jesse,” I said, my eyes filling with tears as I looked up at him. “I’m so sorry.”

“She’s mine?” he asked.

“Yes, you’re her father,” I said, a huge sense of relief washing over me as I said the words.

“Oh, my God…” he whispered, his eyes searching mine frantically.

The clanging of the screen door behind him startled us both and we jumped. Maddy’s footsteps rang out through the house as she ran up the stairs and into her room. The sound of her door slamming vibrated through me violently. She’d heard
everything
…

“Maddy!” I yelled, running for the front door.

“Don’t!” Jesse said, grabbing my arms and stopping me. “Give her a minute and we’ll go talk to her, together…”

I collapsed into his arms, my sobs echoing up to the sky above us.