Running in Place (Mending Hearts) (28 page)

Noah’s father rivals my mother for the scariest person I’ve ever known. I know my little joke on the porch made Noah calm down a little, which is why I said it, but honestly, I was scared shitless as it left my mouth. The man is a giant. With his arms the size of my thighs, he’s got about five inches on Noah — and Noah is
tall
, but I had to do it. I could feel the anger searing between the both of them, and it was the only thing I could think of to diffuse a potentially volatile situation.

After the grand tour of his house, his father left to handle a couple of things at his office, leaving us alone for the majority of the day. He’s been relatively quiet as have I. I think the knowledge of what this trip represents, our dwindling time together, is weighing heavily on both our minds.

I’m not even really sure why we’re here, other than his father wanting to visit with him before he leaves. But seeing as though he’s disappeared for the day, I’m starting to wonder if that has anything to do with it at all. It’s almost like he just wanted to call him here to see if he still had that control over his son by governing his decisions. To make sure he still had the upper hand and to manipulate him. I wouldn’t be surprised, just from witnessing their interaction this morning — his need to belittle and embarrass his son is very evident.

He did, however, call earlier and request that we have dinner with him tonight. So now, here I am in the guest room, putting on a little make-up and thanking God that I packed a decent pair of clothes. Nothing super fancy, but a grey jersey skirt that hits me just below my knees with a plain white tank top is much better than my t-shirt/jeans/Chucks combo I had going on earlier. Pulling my hair into a high ponytail, I slide my silver hoops in my ears and slip my feet into my flip-flops as I open the door.

As soon as it’s cracked, I’m met with a pair of muddy brown eyes and the first smile I’ve seen on him since we’ve been here. Dressed in a faded pair of jeans, Noah’s wearing a black v-neck shirt that clings to his chest and outlines his muscles, with the sleeves taut around his biceps. His hair is extremely messy as the tips spike out in every direction from the top of his head. But the grin on his face, that’s what steals my breath. It’s the mischievous, dimpled smile on his face that stops my heart. He looks so…bad.
But oh so good.

Clearing my throat, I grin back at him. “You look strikingly devilish tonight.”

He chuckles as he reaches for both my arms, pulling me into him as he circles them around his waist. Releasing me, he places his hands on the sides of my neck, curling his fingers behind it and tilting my head as he leans down, trailing kisses from my cheek down to my lips. My heart races as he darts his tongue over them before he kisses me with such hunger, it takes me by surprise. I let out a small gasp and my body folds into his as my knees buckle underneath me. My hands slip under the hem of his shirt, the tips of my fingers brushing his bare back until he eventually ends the kiss with a gentle peck to my lips before releasing me.

Stepping back from me, he smiles while he takes my hand. Turning us toward the stairs, he leans, whispering in my ear, “You look stunning, as usual.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

Letting go of his hand, I loop my arm through his, nestling my cheek against his shoulder as we make our way down the stairs. Passing the pictures in the stairway, I find myself saddened as the memories of his childhood come to mind. There are several of him at different ages lining the walls, and in none of them is he smiling. Not a single one.

It hurts my heart.

But as we cut through the study, that’s where I notice the amount of Noah’s accomplishments surrounding us. All-star certificates in football and baseball, National Merit Scholar plaque, MVP trophies, medals from placing in track, a program from high school graduation with him listed as valedictorian, President’s list awards for his outstanding GPA in college, his Harvard acceptance letter, amongst many, many other things, clearly on display for others to see.

Nothing about family. Nothing about anything that means anything to
Noah
. Not the Noah I know.

Just a tally of his son’s accomplishments, all at the price of his happiness.

And the more I think about that damn acceptance letter, the more my stomach churns, because I know that isn’t what he wants to do. That this will be more of his life wasted by living his father’s dreams and not experiencing his own.

And that
breaks
my heart.

“Where are we going?” I ask as we approach the front door.

“The club. The only place my father ever has dinner.”

Glancing down at my attire, I look back at him. “I don’t think I’m really dressed for that. Maybe I should just stay here.”

His footsteps cease, jerking me backward since I’m still latched onto his arm. “Tate,” he looks down to my mouth as he licks his lips, our faces inches apart. “You look absolutely amazing. And as much as I’d like to show you
again
how gorgeous you look, since the kiss in the hall clearly didn’t convince you, we’re going to be late as it is. We both know how
dear old Dad
feels about punctuality.”

Blood rushes to my face, but not from embarrassment. Something tonight is different with him, with us. With him so close, my body begins to thrum with desire. I don’t know if it’s
the emotional aspect of this trip, or just the fact that he looks
fucking
amazing, but I’m about ten seconds away from attacking him on dear old Dad’s entryway floor.

“Well, maybe should get our asses out of here then,” I remark through laughter, because we do, we really, really
do
need to get out of here, and quick. I can’t be held accountable for my actions much longer.

Linking our arms together again, he escorts me outside, not letting go of me until we’re at the Jeep when he opens the door, placing his hand on the small of my back to guide me into my seat. Leaning his head inside, he gives me another light kiss on the lips before shutting me in. A content grin breaks across my face as he walks around the back of the vehicle, before opening his own door and taking his own seat. Sliding on his aviators, he laughs under his breath as he shakes his head.

“What?” I ask.

Silence, followed by a deep sigh, comes from Noah before his reply.

“It’s just, for the first time in my life I actually
want
to break the rules.” Slowly, he raises his hand and delicately runs his thumb across my bottom lip. His eyes darken as they travel, his hooded gaze peering at my mouth the entire time. After a long silence, with only the sounds of our breaths filling the cab of the Jeep, he brings his eyes to mine. “Fuck the consequences.”

Leaning over, he places his hand behind my head and heaves me forward, until his mouth slams against mine. My hands fly to his hair, gripping sections between my fingers as our tongues twist and tangle with each other, eagerness turning into frenzy while his other hand glides up my leg, making its way under my skirt. He groans when my fists tighten in response, tugging him closer as his hand continues up my thigh, brushing over my hip where it lands on my ass. Calloused fingertips sweep across my bare skin as his fingers spread wide open, stretching them as far as he can before digging them into my flesh. My back instinctively arches, breaking our kiss — my lips instantly craving him again.

“God, Tate,” he pants, releasing his hold from my body and curling his fingers around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white with his grip. Lowering his forehead onto the tops of his hands, he continues his heavy breaths. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”

As I watch him war with himself, guilt replaces my desire. “I’m sorry, Noah. I know we’re late. I don’t want to get you in trouble.” My chin begins to tremble as tears surface in my eyes. “I shouldn’t have come. My being here isn’t helping you. If anything, it’s making things worse.” Before he can say a word, I’m out of the Jeep, wrapping my arms around my waist as I walk back towards the house.

“Tate!” I hear his door slam, but I don’t look back. I’m too embarrassed. I continue walking until I feel his fingers under my arm as he whirls me around to face him. His eyes are so full of torment, my heart shatters within my chest.

“You think this is about me being in
trouble
?” His brows press together as he shakes his head. “Tate, this is about
you
. Fuck
him
. I can’t do this to you, not with me leaving. It’s too much, too selfish. I won’t let myself do that, regardless of how much I want you.”

My head jerks back a little, the realization jolting me as his words sink in. He’s doing this to protect me from being hurt.

But, I’m tired of being protected. I’m tired of being numb.

I want to live.

I want to love.

I want to feel.

And I want to experience all of this with
him
.

Reaching toward him, I run my fingertips down his cheek and then trail them gently across his lips as a single tear runs down my face. “I would rather have
one
night with you, than to live the rest of my life with the possibility of never being able to experience loving another person the way that I love you.”

Dropping my hand from his mouth, I let it fall to my side. “So, I guess I’m the one who wants too much, who’s too selfish.”

His eyebrows burrow closer together, the lines in his forehead rising with them as he gazes at me. Jaw clenching with his rising hand, he tenderly strokes my cheek, brushing it once with his knuckles and then again with the light touch of his fingertips. Mouth curving into a subtle smile, he shakes his head. "Unbelievable. You continue to surprise me."

Darting his tongue across his lips, he steps forward, placing both hands on the side of my face and cupping my cheeks just before his mouth crashes against mine. Ravenously, our tongues claim each other as we feed the hunger from denying ourselves this moment for so long. Reaching down, he scoops my legs off the ground and cradles me against his chest, his lips continuing their ferocious attack as mine demand more, waging their own war. My legs folded over his arm, he raises them as he reaches for the handle, throwing the door open as we enter and then kicking it shut behind us. Our mouths continue working as we make our way up the stairs finally breaking apart when we enter his room.

It’s still just as barren and empty as when I saw it briefly earlier today, housing only a desk and a bed. Nothing indicating that this was his home or that he’s even welcome here. I find myself wondering if it always looked like this, or if he just took everything when he moved, saying a silent prayer that it’s the latter.

His mouth once again captures mine as he lowers us gradually onto the bed, setting me on top of his lap while still clutching me closely to his chest. Finally lessening his kiss, he gently caresses my lips with his just before it ends. His arm unwraps from underneath my legs and he brings his hands towards my face, using the tips of his fingers to brush the hair away from my eyes as his stare locks onto mine. Eyes glistening, he says, “Just the thought of leaving you is tearing me apart, Tate. I don’t want to go.”

My chin quivers as I reach up and place my palm on the side of his face. “Then stay.”

Stroking his cheek with my thumb, I lean into him and place my lips on one corner of his mouth, and then the other. His eyes shut as I press myself off of his lap to kiss his forehead, situating my legs underneath me so that there is one on each side of him. Softly, I brush my lips across both of his temples, sliding my waist down his body as I move to kiss the tip of his nose, then his chin, and finally settle them against his mouth, sitting back onto his thighs.

His lips tremble as he presses them against mine while his hand makes its way to the top of my head, clenching the band holding my ponytail as he slips it down, releasing my hair from its restraint. My long tresses brush against my lower back as he passes his fingers through it, sending a wave of goose bumps rising all over my body. Finally opening his eyes, his fingers curl into my hair as he tugs my head gently backward, exposing my neck. Swallowing deeply, my body trembles as his warm tongue trails from the hollow of my neck all the way to my chin, and it shudders when his soft lips place lingering kisses along my jawline. Our hips begin grinding against each other as he moves his hands from my hair to my waist, pressing me down harder onto his erection. Lowering my gaze to his, my hair falls over my shoulder as we lock eyes, our bodies rocking to their own euphoric rhythm, sending waves of pleasure rippling throughout my entire body.

Sliding the weight of my hips against his length, his eyes grow heavy and he bites his bottom lip before letting out a deep groan. “God, Tate. You feel so good.”

The grasp on my waist tightens, his fingers pressing into my skin as he pulls me into him, urging me to do it again. Rising, I press against him with all my weight, slowly descending as he hisses through his teeth, the effect of the sound sending a steady stream of merciless pulses right between my legs. Hooking his arm around my lower back and heaving me off his lap, I’m flipped onto my back, my legs wrapping around his body as he positions himself between them. His mouth greedily takes mine as his hand hastily pushes the bottom of my tank top up my body, our kiss broken only to remove it. Lying back, my lips find his just as he moves his fingers to the front of my bra and unclasps it, releasing my breasts. Immediately, he catches them, his thumb and forefinger gently rolling and tweaking my nipple, sending a pleasurable tremor to my core. My hips buck underneath me and my hands grab his ass, pulling him while I grind powerfully against him as my legs clench him tightly.