Running on Empty (10 page)

“Yes. I’ll… Yes.” Looking rattled, she turned to walk away from the bed. Declan cursed himself for watching her leave. She stopped at the door, and showing him that as usual she recovered fast, she threw over her shoulder, “We’ll get to the bottom of this, but one thing you need to know, I never betrayed you. 

She walked out the door before he could call her a liar again.

Sabrina leaned against the door and worked to stay upright. Of all the things she had thought Declan would say to her, never had she dreamed that he’d think she betrayed him. Which was stupid, really. Why else had he abducted her, tried to kill her? Her brain was running on nothing but adrenaline. She could barely hold a coherent thought in her head, much less figure out what the hell had happened.

Noah stood a few feet away and studied her. “You okay?”

The answer was a definitive no. She didn’t know if she would ever be okay again. “He thinks that I betrayed him…set him up. He hates me.”

“Sounds like someone might’ve betrayed you both.”

“I have to find out who and why.” She shook her head. “I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

“Yes, you do.”

She lifted her gaze to the man across from her. Integrity, compassion, and character were stamped on his handsome face. He was right. She did know whom to trust.

Noah continued, “This might not be our usual type of op, but you’re one of ours. You need help, you’ve got it.”

Sabrina wanted to hug her boss. She wasn’t a demonstrative person. That kind of carefree act had been strangled out of her at an early age, but that he’d offered his help meant so much. He was the leader of an organization responsible for rescuing victims all over the world. He had to negotiate with presidents, heads of state, and law enforcement. He had more responsibilities than the leaders of some small countries. 

“Thank you, Noah. I could use your expertise and an objective perspective.”

“Why don’t you get something to eat, grab a nap, and then come to my office at four.”

She nodded her thanks and then took in a breath to settle herself. A brightness appeared in her thoughts. Despite the knowledge that he wouldn’t welcome her, she said with an odd sense of contentment, “I think I’ll grab some sandwiches and have lunch with my husband.”

The food was good, he couldn’t deny it. How many nights had he longed for something as simple and basic as a cheeseburger and fries? Though he wanted to wolf down the entire meal with one swallow, he forced himself to take his time. His appetite had improved in the last few months, but it still wasn’t as large as it had been. Eating an entire cheeseburger, along with large fries and a soda, was almost more than he could manage. But still, it was damn good.

“Remember that dive in Luxembourg where we found those incredible bratwursts?”

They’d been sitting in the outdoor picnic area for over ten minutes, and Sabrina had tried one “remember…” story after another. At one time, it had usually taken a word or just a glance for them to get into a lengthy conversation. He’d always found her take on life and its peculiarities fascinating.

The meal he’d been enjoying turned to cement as his gut twisted. The wrinkle in her normally smooth brow and the sadness in her eyes made him want to reach out and reassure her. How in the hell could he hate her for betraying him and still want to soothe her? Damning himself for his weakness, he said, “I remember you ate three.”

Delight brightened her eyes, and her smile took his breath. “And you told the waiter that I was the world champion hot dog eater.”

“And he asked for your autograph.”

She grinned and said, “Remember when we—”

“Stop it, Sabrina. It’s not going to work.”

“What’s not going to work?”

“Reminding me of good times. They were all fucking lies.”

She flinched at his profanity. Yeah, he’d never been much for cursing before, but he’d learned that certain crass words belonged to certain situations. This one definitely qualified.

Instead of proclaiming her innocence again, she said, “Declan…where have you been?”

“In hell, darling, where you put me.”

Her mouth tightened slightly, but she continued with her questions. “How did you get out…escape?”

“You think I’m going to rat out the people who had the balls to save me?”

“How long have you been…out?”

“Four months.”

“How did you find me?”

“Took awhile. I figured at some point you’d use one of your old covers.”

Knowledge entered her eyes. “You found Lucia St. Martine.”

“Yeah. Thought about taking you as soon as I found you.”

“Why didn’t you?” Sabrina didn’t doubt that he could have pulled it off any time he liked. As much as she prided herself on her abilities, Declan had been better. He’d been a master strategist.

His response was a careless shoulder lift. Sabrina didn’t pursue it. She wanted to think that he hadn’t taken her until after her mission was complete because he hadn’t wanted to ruin a rescue operation. Even though she feared she was giving him credit for qualities he no longer possessed, she chose to believe that was the reason for his delay.

“Where have you been?”

“You know exactly where I’ve been, Sabrina.”

“Dammit, pretend I don’t for a moment. Where were you?”

With his jaw clenched, the word ground from his mouth, “Africa.”

“Where in Africa?”

“Dolisie.”

“That’s…where?”

“Republic of Congo. Central Africa.”

“What happened to you there?”

“You know what happened.”

She pursed her lips and just glared at him. No way was she going to give him the satisfaction of once again hearing her deny involvement in his abduction.

Apparently seeing he hadn’t gotten the rise out of her as he’d hoped, he shrugged. “I was interrogated.”

“About what?”

“Now who’s being silly? If I didn’t tell them anything, why would I tell you?”

“Because I’m your wife.”

A harsh, jagged sound erupted from his throat. “You are a piece of work. But know this. That marriage certificate? It means nothing. You mean nothing. As soon as I escape this new hell you’ve put me in, I’ll be making sure our so-called marriage is dissolved.”

“Like hell you will.”

It took everything Sabrina had to keep from upending her soda on top of his head. Of all the insulting, infuriating things he could have said, this was the worst. Like she was going to just step back and let him end their marriage when two days ago she hadn’t even known she still had a husband.

He arched a black brow in that arrogant fashion she used to love. “What’s wrong? Surely you can’t still want to be married to me.”

“Right now, the only thing I want is to find out who did this to us. After that’s settled, we’ll discuss the rest of our lives.”

He sat back in his chair. She noted he’d eaten only three-quarters of his burger and about half his fries. Yes, she knew he should be eating more-nutritious food, but she had wanted to treat him to one of his favorite meals. 

“Is your burger not to your liking?”

“It’s fine. Just can’t eat it all.”

The old Declan would have eaten two burgers, plus the rest of hers. Stupid, silly tears filled her eyes, and she dropped her gaze back to her own half-eaten meal. How ridiculous. After all that had happened and she hadn’t broken down once. Now here she was, about to start sobbing because Declan couldn’t finish his burger.

“So tell me—let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that you had nothing to do with my capture—who do you think is responsible?”

“Since I don’t know what they did to you or the questions they asked, it makes it a little harder to come up with viable suspects.”

“Try,” he snapped.

She held back her exasperation. “Declan, you have enemies all over the world. How the hell should I know?” She shook her head. “Wait, don’t answer that. I already know why you think I should know.”

He stared at her for so long she feared he wouldn’t speak again. After several long minutes, he finally relented enough to say, “They tortured me.”

The stark, unadorned words slashed a bloody crease across her heart. “For what?”

“Information.”

“What kind of information?”

“Are you really that stupid?”

Sabrina put her napkin down and stood. “I’m suddenly not hungry anymore. Andre will take you back to your room. Don’t bother to fight him.” She withdrew the cuffs she’d taken off of him earlier and said, “Hands behind your back.” 

He didn’t move, but the fury in his eyes said it all. Surprising her, he complied, and she snapped on the cuffs.

“Andre, please return Mr. Steele to his room.”

As soon as she said this, Andre came to stand beside Declan’s chair. Several inches over six feet and well over two hundred pounds, the orderly should have had no trouble handling anyone. Declan wasn’t just anyone. Showing what a smart man Andre was, he didn’t try to pull Declan up, but waited.

Though his eyes flashed with rage, Declan didn’t speak. Sabrina needed to get away from him before she said or did something she would later regret. Haunting, mocking words followed her out the door:
That marriage certificate? It means nothing.
You mean nothing.

And she knew that was true.

Chapter Eight

LCR Headquarters

Sabrina arrived for her meeting with Noah feeling only slightly more alert. After her disastrous meal with Declan, she had made use of one of LCR’s apartments. After a long, hot shower, she’d barely been upright. Since she felt she could sleep well into next week, she had set the alarm for two hours and fallen into bed, sure that she would be unconscious in seconds. Fifteen minutes later, she’d gotten out of bed. Her body might feel half-past dead, but her mind would not shut down.

She’d put her clothes back on and headed back to the clinic. Declan had been asleep, and she’d sat beside his bed and just looked at him. Despite all the hurt she felt at his cruel words, she still marveled that he was actually alive. No matter how much she might personally want to smack him, she couldn’t be anything other than glad that he still lived.

Even in sleep, he couldn’t rest easy. His body moved restlessly, and he grimaced as if he were in pain. He was still a beautiful man, but in a much harsher way. Lines of suffering around his eyes and mouth told of unspeakable agony. Calling herself all sorts of stupid didn’t stop her from kissing him on the forehead before she walked out the door.

And now she was here to spill her guts to her boss. Noah had taken a lot on faith when he hired her, and though he knew more about her than anyone else at LCR, there were still things he didn’t know. Things she needed to reveal. Not only because he had offered to help her, but because he deserved to know the truth.

She practically fell into the chair in front of his desk and released a weary sigh.

“You get any sleep?” Noah asked.

“I tried. Didn’t work.”

He nodded as though he understood. “You want anyone else here with you?”

“No. Just you for now.”

“Very well. You want to start?”

She took a breath. “When I was twenty, Albert Marks found me at a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane. I had been incarcerated there for three years.”

“For?”

“Killing my stepbrother.”

One thing she’d always appreciated about Noah was his non-judgmental attitude. He didn’t even look surprised.

“No need to go into a lot of detail…since it’s not really relevant, but my stepbrother began raping me when I was twelve. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother and stepfather, they accused me of lying. I was too ashamed to tell my teachers or counselors at school. I endured until the day I couldn’t.”

She no longer became nauseated or dizzy when talking about that day. She really didn’t know what had caused her to snap at that precise moment. Maybe hundreds of rapes had accumulated into that monumental moment of rage. After Albert rescued her from the institution, she’d gone through extensive counseling. She’d learned to deal with her anger and to understand that what had happened that day wasn’t all that unusual. She’d just finally had enough.

“Since I was seventeen, they wanted to try me as an adult.” Her mouth twisted with a bitter smile. “You see…after a few years, he stopped having to beat me to rape me. I was conditioned to lie there, accept what he did. Other than my parents, I had told no one what was going on. I was this weak, timid creature who let everyone take advantage of her. There was no evidence of force…so no one believed me.”

“How did you kill your abuser?”

“After he raped me that last time, he went back to his room and fell asleep. My mother and stepfather were out for the evening. I cleaned myself up, went to the kitchen to make a sandwich. I remember slicing some cheese. The next thing I know, I’m standing over the bastard’s bed and blood’s dripping from the knife. I’d stabbed him multiple times.”

She rarely thought about that poor, ravaged creature she’d once been. So weak and malleable…only wanting someone to believe in her. And until Albert, no one ever had.

She appreciated that Noah made no sounds, sympathy or otherwise. Sympathy never solved a damned thing.

“I called the police. They came, and I confessed. I had a crappy, court-appointed public defender. My parents refused to pay for a defense attorney.” She shrugged. “Not to draw it out, I got a reduced sentence if I agreed to go to a psychiatric hospital. I didn’t think I’d care. After all, I’d been in hell in one way or another much of my life. What was one more?

“Turns out, I did care. The minute I was locked up, I went berserk. Certifiably crazed. I guess killing Tony finally released all that anger that had been building up inside me. They drugged me every damn day. Even when I was halfway coherent, they still wouldn’t believe my claims of abuse.”

She remembered crying, pleading, begging. Hours of rocking back and forth in her bed, mumbling details of Tony’s rapes. Reliving the horror. She had thought no one paid attention…no one heard her. But someone had.