Ruptured: The Cantati Chronicles (5 page)

Chapter Seven

“Are you alright?”
Quinten asked above the din of air-raid sirens, the same ones the British had used during World War II when the Germans were bombing London. It always struck me as odd the methods that humans had developed to defend themselves from other humans.

He trod into my room, closing the door behind him. I lay crumpled on the bed awash in tears. Grief choked my response, and it sounded like a garbled mess even to my ears. After every horror I had survived, this was the worst. In every other instance, I had been resolute with the knowledge that I had the power to beat back any enemy.

What do you do when the enemy was not only allowed, but encouraged, to strip you of any last shred of yourself? I hated Cade. I wanted to wash his stench from my body, but I knew deep down it was a move in futility. He wanted to possess my body, and if I weren’t careful, he would destroy my soul. Then I would truly become one of them, a Breeder, whose listless existence rose and set with her protector. I would kill him before I allowed him to turn me into that. I had no idea how or when, but make no mistake, I would see him dead. With any luck, he would not return from his mission. It happened all the time. I prayed to the gods that he would meet his fate.

I flinched at Quinten’s hand at my shoulder and gazed into his concerned features.

“Alana, how can I help?” he murmured. I opened my mouth to reply, but no sound came out. Tears blurred my vision, and I felt him wrap the blankets securely around my form before he put his arms around me. He scooted us over and rested his back against the wall.

I never cried. The last time was when my mother died.

Quinten held me, just like that. He gave comfort as I emptied all my sorrows. He was my rock as the storm of my emotions battered me. Through all of it, he stroked my arm and stood as bastion against the dark swelling tide.

“Alana?” He had stilled his movements.

“Hmm?” I retreated slightly from his arms, a little surprised by how much I enjoyed the comfort within them.

“What if I went before the Council?” He hesitated, searching my face. What did he hope to find there? His stoic face, ever the scholar, studied my reaction.

“And told them what?” I could usually read people, but his intentions were shrouded and gave me pause.

“What if I told them you were mine before they issued their order mating you to Cade?” he asked, half expectant, hope swimming to the surface in his gaze.

“No. You know the Council would punish you, not to mention Cade would kill you for the offense. As much as I want to rid myself of him, it’s not worth your life.” I could never make him pay for my mistakes. No matter how much I wanted my freedom.

“If you weren’t my superior officer, I would have made advances a long time ago. I love you. I have for some time. Now, as to Cade and the Council, let me handle them.”

I gasped at his confession. Hope bubbled. He loved me. I had not heard those words since I was a child. While I may not love him, I did care for him. We were friends, had always worked seamlessly together in the field. Was there a chance I could feel more for him?

Yes.

His face was inches from mine, and in the space of a heartbeat, his lips claimed mine. For a half second, I did not move, too stunned by his declaration and the potency of his emotions as they swept over me. Then my shock bled into need, and I moaned. My hands caressed his face, stroking his cheeks, noticing the stubble along his jaw. He held my mouth prisoner against his as he delved deeper, his tongue tangling with mine.

Love. It did not exist in our world, and yet here was Quinten professing it. Why hadn’t I chosen him? I had known that the Council would force my hand eventually, and if I had made a choice, all of this could have been avoided. I may not be in love with Quinten, but I did have feelings for him. Could I allow him to save me, when it could cost him his life?

I could feel his rising excitement at our exchange, even though he never touched more than my head. Putting a hand against his solid chest, I pushed back, ending the kiss. The hungry, possessive look on his face sealed my decision.

“I can’t let you do this.” Cade would kill him, period. He already felt he owned me and would fight like a rabid dog to keep his claim.

“Yes, you can. I want to. I should have done it a year ago.”

“Quinten, as much as I want to rid myself of Cade, I couldn’t let you risk your life when I don’t feel the same. I care about you. You’re my friend, but it would be selfish of me to ask this of you.” I winced inside. I hated hurting him. And I could tell that my words had diminished some of the fervor from his features.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going before the Council anyway. I love you enough for the both of us. Give me a chance. Besides, wouldn’t you rather sleep with your friend than a man you hate?”

I was not worthy of him. He meant it, though. Every word. His earnest emotions fueled the hope surging in my chest.

“Okay,” I agreed.

Quinten looked as though I had just handed him a fortune and he wanted to build a shrine in my honor. I was not worthy of his worship. But I would strive every day to feel something for him, to try to love him. It was the least I could do, given what he was willing to face for me.

How could I do this to him? How could I ask him to face the Council and go up against Cade’s might? I couldn’t let him fight Cade. He was a vicious warrior. Terror seized me. We were both about to commit treason, but for real this time.

“But promise me …”

“Anything,” he swore, tracing his hands over my arms.

“Stay away from Cade. He’s not worth potential recourse by the Council.”

“After what he did to you tonight, absolutely fucking not. That bastard will get what he deserves.”

Horrified, I said, “No, you can’t go gunning for him. He wasn’t able to consummate our union. You stopped him, saved me just in time. I won’t do this, if that is your plan. I can’t risk you.”

“Fine.”

“Just like that?” I asked, feeling uneasy. He had agreed without much of a fight. I wasn’t sure I trusted his response.

“Yep, just like that,” he replied firmly, without hesitation. His thumb traced my lips as if he memorized their shape with his gentle caress.

“Why? When you know you will be facing …” I gulped and closed my eyes.
Please let me fall in love with this man!
He was too good for me. It shamed me that all I could muster for him was friendly fondness. Shoving any guilt aside, I vowed to make myself love him to repay him. Because I knew after tonight, I would never be able to submit myself to Cade’s demands.

“Like I said before, I have wanted you for forever, it seems. Besides, I’m not getting a bad bargain out of it. I’ll get you.” He kissed me again with a smile in his eyes.

“I wish you would have made those advances.” I smiled sadly before continuing. “The Council will not be gentle and will likely question the two of us fiercely. They will check my body for signs that I am no longer a maiden.”

“Zarek, huh? He took it.” He showed no hint of surprise. And here I thought we had succeeded in keeping our rendezvous a secret. My guys knew me well.

I nodded in the affirmative. He might as well know what he was getting with me, for all the trouble my actions would cause him.

“Did you tell anyone?”

“No, and then he …”

“Died.” He seemed more pleased with the circumstances than I figured he would be.

“Yes. You do realize we will be lying under oath to the Council. If they rule against”

“I told you,” he interrupted, “I have no problem with it. And I will make sure the others corroborate our story.”

“But what will we tell the Council? They will question why we didn’t come forward before they made their ruling.” Amelia, especially, would see through any flimsy excuse. The others could be swayed, but that one? She had it out for me and was the only Council member who worried me.

“We tell them that we are madly in love and that you didn’t want me to get in trouble. You thought you were protecting me from possible incarceration or exile.”

“And why are we coming forward now?” It might just work. I would spend the rest of my life ensuring I was worthy of this man’s love. Whether I ever loved him back, it didn’t matter. I would do it for him.

“We tell them that we decided to come forward because you could already be carrying my child. It’s as simple as that.” He smiled, his hands lightly caressing me. It was so simple and yet so complex, all in the same breath. Would the Council believe our tale?

Quinten’s mouth captured mine, and I let him. It was the least I could do, given he had just promised to put his fate on the line for me. I returned his kiss with as much fervor as possible. He had nice, firm lips and wanted to devour me. I really did walk around with blinders on most of the time, because I’d never seen this coming. Ending the kiss, I scooted away and he tugged my hand.

“Don’t move away just yet.” He rakishly grinned, a twinkle in his eyes that belied the hunger I sensed in him.

“There’s something else we need to do.” I maneuvered his seeking hands away. A simple yes from me, and he would have me under him in seconds. He desired me like he desired air to breathe. Why had I never recognized it before?

“What’s that?” he smirked.

“The Council will likely ask you questions about my”—I considered how to phrase it—“physical form, as someone who’s claiming knowledge of it.”

I backed fully off the bed and dropped the sheet before I lost my nerve. I held my head high as his startled gaze greedily consumed every ounce of my flesh. His gaze stopped at my breasts and I felt my nipples harden under the scrutiny. His heated stare traveled farther south and stopped at the juncture of my thighs.

“Turn.” He choked out, beholding the bounty my body offered like he wanted to pounce but held himself rigidly in check. A part of me wanted him to, but I couldn’t so soon after Cade had had his hands on me.

I slowly swiveled until I faced the opposite wall, and the springs creaked as he left the bed. The air grew thick as I waited. Like a whispered kiss, his hands gingerly stroked my back. My blood hummed with promise. He made me wonder if I had viewed the whole Breeder thing too disparagingly. While there were not any world-altering explosions going off at his touch, this was more than I had ever felt. Then again, maybe there was something fundamentally wrong with me since I failed to get with the program.

His hands cupped my posterior, kneading my backside gently, before they left my body.

“My turn,” he said in a deep bedroom voice laced with lust.

I stepped aside and stared as he stripped every ounce of clothing from his body. I had seen him without a shirt plenty of times while we trained, but the rest of him had been a mystery until now. Dark hair covered his finely muscled chest, tapering down over his abdomen before stopping at his staff. The ruby tip bobbed under my scrutiny, and I bit my lip, noticing the glistening drop of moisture on the tip.

Any lingering guilt swimming in my chest about using Quinten for my own gains, to rid myself of Cade before the Council, vanished. He craved me, and not in a “you’re a female and we are naked together, so why not?” kind of way. I was a little awed by the depth of his emotions.

“Backside, please,” I said, motioning for him to turn around. He winked and did as I requested. Lean, hard muscle covered his back, along with a black tattoo in the form of a wolf’s head circled by knot work at the juncture of his neck and shoulders. He had some scarring on his right backside, where a demon’s claws had clipped him. I remembered that fight. We had been ambushed, and Quinten had jumped into the skirmish in front of me.

It seemed he had been protecting me all along, and I never noticed. This would work. It had to.

“All right, I think we can both feasibly recount what the other looks like,” I murmured, turning away to reestablish safe distance.

His hand slid around my waist and pulled my back against him. His erection strained against my rear, and his mouth laid open kisses along my neck. His tongue traced my birthmark, a dark circle with three vertical lines in the center. Deft fingers glided up and cupped my breasts, pinching the already pert areolas.

“And what do we tell them about our first time?” he purred, nuzzling my neck and almost making me forget that Cade could return to my room at any-time since the sirens were no longer blaring.

“That we were out on a mission six months ago, and one thing led to another. That we have secretly been seeing each other for those six months,” I whispered, controlling my voice as his tender ministrations made stirrings of desire gather and throb. His touch filled me with longing, some carnal, some sweet, and I exalted in the hope of more with him.

“How do we explain that you are not with child yet?” he asked with so much optimism in his voice it almost crushed me. He wanted a child? Why had I never known that? Because my world view had consisted only of me, my sins, and my needs. Had I ever stopped to consider what my men wanted?

“We took precautions during intercourse, and you never released your seed inside me.” His hips rubbed his erection along the crease in my rear. My fingers threaded through his hair, keeping his head in place so he would continue nibbling right at that spot where my shoulder met my neck.

One of his hands traveled south and dove betwixt my thighs, tangling in my curls. He rubbed my sensitive nub. Hunger speared my body and served as a bucket of ice water over my head.

“Wait,” I panted, pulling his hands from my body and removing myself from the circle of his arms. This could not happen like this, not while I still had Cade’s stench upon me.

I glanced into his eyes, and the heated desire almost brought me to my knees. Quinten wanted me. His breathing expelled in ragged gasps, his body shuddering in need.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I hated myself for doing this.

He stepped forward, his hands once more claiming ownership of my body and attempting to pull me close. “But we wouldn’t have to fully lie then. We could go before them with you possibly already carrying my child.”