Rush of Redemption (Rush Series #2) (3 page)

Trinity sat staring down
into her cooling soup as she took in the information. “How did the situation go
from that to me?”

Rush exhaled silently. He
knew no matter how it he told the 
story,
 he
would not come out well in the telling. Anxiousness clawed at his belly. He’d
had her within his grasp and he was afraid she was seconds from slipping away
from him. Clearing his throat, he decided to just tell her the events. Maybe
once everything was out in the open, they could discuss it and then put it
behind them.

“My grandfather became dogmatic
and unwavering in his determination to discover my father’s killer. He wanted
justice. My grandmother had died the year before, and finding the person or
persons responsible became almost like his mantra. No matter how I tried to
talk him out of it, he wouldn’t be dissuaded.” Rush exhaled heavily and rubbed
a hand across his eyes, dreading the next part of the story. “I was in a
meeting with my grandfather and the discussion came up about ways to entice
your father to tell us who’d called the hit. As I said, through our
investigations, we’d already eliminated him as the culprit. From out of the
blue, my grandfather asked who was the closest to your father… I think his
exact words were: 
who did he love
? It was then you were mentioned.
I wasn’t sure what my grandfather intended, but I knew he was desperate.”

She lifted her wounded dark
eyes to his. “You had to have been so thrilled to find your intended target so
vulnerable and naïve,” she said, and clenched her jaws tight. “Throw in a fight
with my controlling father, and I was putty in your hands.”

He lifted a hand as if to
touch her face, but allowed it drop back onto his lap. With a deep sigh, he
said, “I didn’t know anything about you. But I thought as long as I was
involved, I could keep things under control.” He lifted his eyes to hers and
gave her a sad smile. “Then I met you and I was honestly blown away. You were
so beautiful and passionate when you were discussing art. You stunned me from
the very beginning. You sat across from me that day in the gallery in your
pristine, blue silk dress, and all I could think about was how the silk would
feel against my hands as I slipped it off your body and laid you out on that
damned conference room table. You felt it too. I saw it in your eyes and felt it
in your touch.”

She swallowed hard and
forced herself to look away from his gaze.

“I was worried,” he
continued, “
when
 you said you were heading off to
Vail, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to protect you there. So I contacted
Hunter. I knew through the course of our investigation about your friendship
with 
Sundra
 Caruthers.”

The same suffocating bonds
that had smothered her at her father’s hands clamped around her chest, causing
her breathing to become rapid. Her entire life had been scrutinized and examined
without her knowledge. Her lips began to tremble at how violated she felt. She
was aware of his heavy stare on her but she couldn’t meet his eyes. “I thought
you… I thought 
we
… I thought it was real,” she
rasped. Wiping a hand against her brow, she gave a rueful laugh, “How stupid,
right?”

“It 
was 
real…
I wanted you from the very beginning. I tried to protect you, I swear, I did. I
begged my grandfather after our first night together. I called him and demanded
he call off his vendetta, but he just wouldn’t be convinced. I had to promise
to keep trying to get next to you. It was the only way he would keep his
distance. But then I got caught up with a work issue in Vail and couldn’t leave
when you did. My grandfather thought you were beginning to distract me… I can’t
say he was wrong. That’s why he sent his henchman to vandalize your office. My
grandfather swears you weren’t supposed to be touched, only scared.”

She lifted a hand to her
lips then let it fall to caress her protruding belly. How was she supposed to
wade through this?

He leaned forward and laid
one of his much larger hands over the one she had over their child. “What are
you thinking?” he asked.

She swallowed against the
lump in her throat. “You scare me,” she finally said simply.

He closed his eyes as pain
lanced across his chest. He wasn’t sure how to overcome her insecurity about
him. He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them gently before answering.

“I know. I’m sorry. Tell me
what to do,” he said gruffly.

She blinked away the tears
which threatened to fall. “You once begged me to trust you… and I did. It
nearly killed me when I found out the truth… and then you deserted me… and I
was left with nothing… nothing and no one,” she gushed out on trembling lips.
“I don’t know 
what’s a lie
 and what’s the
truth.”

He removed his hand from
hers and rubbed it across his face. He turned his chair to face her and pulled
hers toward him until they were sitting with knees touching. He gripped the
seat of her chair and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. His
brilliant hazel eyes were shut and his jaw clenched tight.

“I love you, Trinity. And
God knows, I wish I could go back and redo everything. I don’t want to lose
you. I don’t know what to do. But I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life
striving to be the man you deserve. Please give me that chance,” he pleaded.

Her heart pounded and her
breathing was rapid. Her head spun at the many unanswered questions which
flooded her. She patted his cheek gently, before untangling herself from him and
moved to stand facing the sink with her back to him. She curled her fingers
around the sink’s edge.

Now hidden from his immense
stare, she allowed the tears to streak down her face as she fought with the
crux of her problem. “If you loved me, how could you leave me when I was lying
in a hospital with a gunshot wound in my chest? You just left with no
explanation. I was alone and scared. I didn’t even know at first if you were
alive or dead. How do you do that to someone you supposedly love?”

He was silent for a very
long time. Gruffly he began, “Your father…”

She interrupted him. “My
father was and is a liar. We both know that. Why would you believe him?” she
demanded.

“I didn’t know until
afterwards what he’d done to you. I didn’t know he was responsible for that
hideous photo being delivered to your office or the break-in at your house. I
didn’t think he would lie about you having an abortion. He told me you didn’t
want to see me. After everything that had happened, why wouldn’t I believe
that?”

She stood silently as she
contemplated his words. “What about your grandfather? How am I supposed to
handle that? He would have had me killed to get the information he wanted.”

He moved swiftly from his
chair and placed his hands gently on her shoulders as he leaned his face into
her hair. “He wasn’t going to go that far. 
I
 wouldn’t have let
it go that far.”

Her shoulders slumped as
she exhaled heavily. “I barely survived it the last time you left. I… can’t go
through that again.”

He turned her to face him
and placed hands that trembled gently against her face. He stared down into her
tear-streaked face and swallowed hard. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly
before he lowered his lips to hers.

She leaned into the kiss for
just an instant before snatching out of his grasp and turning her back to him
once again. “I was alone and pregnant, and every week I’d opened that damned
newspaper and there’d you’d be with someone else. Do you have any idea how
hurtful that was? How much it hurt being so desperately in 
love
 with you and it being obvious you didn’t feel that
way? Hadn’t ever felt that way? How it felt to know the child I carried wasn’t
conceived in some great love story, but instead conceived in some sort of
loathsome game in which I was the booby prize?”

He winced at her words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought it was what you wanted. I was hurt when
your father told me you’d gotten rid of the baby and wanted to be equally rid
of me. What was I to do? I certainly didn’t blame you. I was so in love with
you, but didn’t see any way I could ever convince you of that. But I’m begging
you now to believe me.”

“You hurt me,” she
whimpered.

He exhaled sharply before
placing his hands on her hips and leaning into her back, his face buried in her
hair. “I know. I’m sorry. 
More sorry than I can ever
express.
 Please just give me a chance… give us a chance.”

She whimpered in
indecision.

“Marry me,” he whispered
against her ear.

She stiffened at his words.
It felt as if a knife was being twisted into her chest. Her breathing became
ragged with emotion. “I can’t,” she strangled out before snatching herself away
from him and moving quickly to her bedroom. She closed the door and leaned
against it as tears began to stream down her face.

Several minutes passed
before she heard the knock on the door behind her. “Please just go,” she
sobbed.

She felt a thud against the
door, which she assumed was his forehead leaned against the door.

“Please let me in. Please
talk to me. I can’t leave like this. I’m begging you,” he pleaded.

She turned and laid her
face against the door. “Please don’t ask me to marry you like this.”

Silence met her words.
Emotionlessly, he replied, “I’ll do whatever you want. Please don’t shut me out.”

Wiping a hand across her
face, she slowly opened the door. His grim face tore at her heart. He wrapped
his massive arms around her and held her as tight as her protruding belly would
allow.

“I can make you love me
again. I swear I can,” he whispered into her hair.

She sucked in a shuddering
breath. “I love you now.”

His chest rose and fell
rapidly. “Then why won’t you marry me?”

“You want to marry me for
the wrong reasons,” she replied quietly.

He pulled back to stare
down into her face. “I love you and want to build a life with you and our son.
What better reasons can there be?”

She laid her forehead
against his chest as she struggled to find the right words. “You feel desperate
and think this is what I need to hear. But it’s not. I just… need time. I mean,
it was only two days ago that you were out on a date with someone else. I can’t
switch gears that fast, and I don’t think you can either.”

He stiffened once more at
her words. “You’re wrong. I know what I want… what I’ve wanted since Vail. But
you’re right about one thing, I’ll do anything to make you understand I’m
serious about us. This is what I want… you’re what I want. If I could talk you
into it, I’d whisk you away today and marry you. In fact, I’d prefer it that
way. But I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Just don’t shut me out.”

She stood for a long time
in his embrace as indecision… want… need… and fear encompassed her.

“Can we just try dating?”
she asked.

He exhaled in relief at her
words. He lifted his hands to her face once more. “Dating, 
uhh
? You drive a hard bargain, Ms. Grace,” he murmured as
he brushed his lips against hers. She slid her hands up under the soft cotton
of his T-shirt. She felt his muscles bunch and retract at her soft touch. He
ran his hands over her back.

“I want you,” he gusted in
her ear, “I 
need 
to be inside you. I need you surrounding me.”

With extreme gentleness, he
backed her up to the bed before lowering her carefully down. He ran his hands
up under her top and caressed body. He pressed his face against her belly and
was rewarded by a small thud against his cheek. He kissed her belly and ran his
hands over the small mound. He helped her disrobe before quickly shucking his
own clothes.

Her breath caught in her
throat at how stunning his body was. Insecurity had her looking away when she
saw him staring down at her rounded form.

“Don’t,” he whispered.
“Don’t look away from me. You are more beautiful and sexier now than ever. I
love seeing you like this… rounded with my child. It’s almost more than I can
bear,” he said before he lowered himself above her.

He leaned his forehead
against hers. “I love you, Trinity. You’ve made me so happy.”

He leaned into her and
kissed her fervently and unreservedly. With tender, gentle touches, he made
slow, passionate love to her.

Chapter Three

“No, absolutely not!”
 Trinity declared as she turned her face away from him. They
were sitting together on the couch at Trinity’s condo two weeks later,
supposedly watching a movie on television, but actually had spent most of the
time with various body parts intertwined. Things were going well until Rush
brought up the subject Trinity had listed as taboo.

“I don’t know why you are
being so unreasonable about this,” Rush exclaimed.

“You promised to take it
slow. It’s only been a couple of weeks!”

“Come on, honey. You could
have the baby at any time. What’s wrong with us being married before that
happens?” he asked.