Rust Bucket (33 page)

      "But what?" she asked.

      I replied, "But, I don't know how to turn yet. I don't know whether to ask you to marry me or stop seeing you."

      "Oh, please don't stop seeing me, even if you never marry me! That would be the cruelest thing you could do to me. Whether you love me or not, I've fallen in love with you. Please don't stop seeing me. You want me to beg, I'll beg," she said with tears forming in her eyes.

      Somehow, I was convinced that she meant it. She looked like she meant it. I was scared that I might take advantage of her. I was actually scared of myself! She was handing me power over her that would be easy to abuse if I wasn't careful. I had to stop thinking of what the consequences might be if I abused her to my own means. I was almost frightened away from marriage to her ever because of that much power. I wasn't sure that I could trust myself in that situation. Not only that, but what exactly did she see in me that made her so willing to give me that much power over her? Was I missing something else so obvious that I couldn't see it?

      "Stop please," I asked.

      She said, "Why not? I'm yours whenever you want me. You can take me anywhere and I won't mind. I'll do anything you want except give up your child."

      I said, "Annie, please don't give me this much power. I don't trust myself with it."

      She said, "I trust you. It's yours whether you want it or not and whether you use it or not."

      I was stymied. She wasn't budging on the issue. I could have told her to crawl the length of the tunnel on her bare belly. She would have done it for me. I wasn't sure what to say or do. I was stuck with it no matter how I felt about it. I hoped I could end the impasse I felt we were in. "Okay, we'll not discuss it for now. Besides, it's getting late and I have to show up for work tomorrow."

      We got into the hover and left after she turned off the lights. I could feel her naked warm body next to mine as we went through the tunnel to the roaring waterfall and picked up enough speed to sail through it without being dunked into the lake. We reached the island and retrieved our clothes. I was tempted to ask her to keep her blouse tied or even buttoned as we left and reached the roads, but I resisted using the power I now held. If anything, I didn't want to change her. If I was falling in love, I wanted the same bright, eager, woman who I first met and not what I might make her into. That much I was sure of. I didn't want the excitement to ever go out of the woman I might marry.

      We eventually reached the Pennyweight building where I got out of the hover and waved to her as I went inside. I felt more depressed than the night before.

***

The next week was filled with getting the
Thurman
fully in shape for escort duty. All the repairs were rechecked to be sure they measured up to our standards. Crew members were assigned and I went over their records with the company management. New shipping schedules were set. Then we were back in a business as usual mode.

      Each night, Annie dropped by to see me. I would talk with her or ride around town for a few minutes with her before returning to the ship. By the end of the week, I was positive that she meant what she said. She was totally in my power as long as she could see me. We didn't have to go to bed and have sex if I didn't want to, but she was just as willing to stop in traffic and open her legs for me if I wanted her that way, too. The whole time, I was frightened that I would unduly take unfair advantage of her, especially since she was in love and wouldn't complain. I wondered if that was how people in love behaved. Would I someday act that way? If so, I didn't want to fall in love, not if I was going to build a career and then throw it away because I fell in love. I could understand why some people might marry for wealth if that was the case. But, how did one prepare oneself against falling in love? I only knew that I needed some advice and I needed it fast.

***

One thing I learned real fast was that I had a lot of discretion concerning my time and whereabouts since I was the captain of a ship. I had very few people to account to for my actions and the authority to delegate some responsibilities in some situations if need be. To date, I had delegated authority and responsibility only to enhance other people's learning processes. I sought out Penny and checked with her.

      "Penny, I'm going to need a little time off today to get some advice from the Sarge. Is there anything urgent here that I don't know of that you want me to take care of?"

      Penny said, "If it's about . . ."

      I replied, "Uh, no. I need some advice about women."

      "Really? Are we talking about Annie?" she asked.

      I said, "Yes. I'm scared that I might take advantage of her irresponsibly."

      She said, "I thought you already had."

      I responded, "Uh, no. That was something we discussed together before it happened. She was the one who took advantage of me. This is a different problem concerning us."

      She said, "Well, sure. There's nothing urgent, but I'll be happy to give you some advice from a woman's point of view, if you'd like."

      "Thanks. You're probably right. I should get some advice from a woman as well. Do you have the time now?" I asked.

      She replied, "Sure. Close the door so no one else has to hear your problem."

      I turned and closed the door. Then I took the seat that she motioned me to.

      "What's the problem as you see it?" she asked.

      I blurted out, "Well, Annie has professed her love for me."

      "That's a problem?" she asked.

      I said, "There's more. She's said that she'll do anything for me just so long as I let her continue to see me. That's even without me ever marrying her."

      Penny said, "I see. She fell for you hard. If that's all you're worried about, then there's nothing to it."

      I asked, "Are you sure? I mean, she leaves every decision to me now. She's not like she used to be. She's more like a zombie instead of the bright, bouncing off the walls, young woman I first met. I'm afraid that I might hurt her with all the power she's given me over her."

      Penny replied, "Well, that's a lot more thought and consideration than most people give to others when similar things happen. But just be yourself. She'll return to normal eventually."

      "How long before that happens?" I asked.

      She said, "Well, some people fall that deeply in love and stay that way for years and years. Most just stay that way for a short while."

      "How short?" I asked.

      Penny said, "Uh, well, that's kind of hard to say. I mean, with some people the severity of the love gradually fades to something more natural and bearable in a year, but doesn't completely disappear. With some, it returns back to normal after a few weeks or a few months. Anyway, you're asking something now that I'm only advising you about based on a few friends I've seen in the same situation. Let me guess, you're afraid that you'll start acting that way, too. Aren't you?"

      "Some," I admitted.

      She said, "Don't worry about it. It's only most evident when you're with the other person. Otherwise, you'll think about the other person a lot, but you'll still be able to function and be your usual self. Besides, love doesn't always hit both people in a couple that hard. If it did, they'd never be able to function while together. She got it hard. You'll probably get it a lot lighter, if love bites you, too."

      I asked, "Did you get it hard?"

      Penny replied, "No, Sarge did. He told me about your conversation. I wish I could tell you what you want to know about that, too, but I can't. Back to love though. He'd show up whenever he could get off duty. Then he did some of the strangest and most marvelous things to win my hand. I couldn't help fall in love with him then and agree to marry him. After we got married, he gradually became more normal, like he was before he fell in love, but he still goes out of his way to do things for me. You might as well face it. Annie's in love with you for sure. There's no way of telling beforehand how long it will last nor how strong it will be. If you want her to snap out of it sooner, then marry her."

      I replied, "I'm wondering if I should marry her because I think I might have been afraid of marriage for the wrong reasons."

      She said, "Well, think about it. If you want to get the Sarge's advice, go for it."

      I said, "Penny, I think you've given me an honest appraisal and some good advice. I don't think I'll need to see the Sarge this time. Thanks for your time."

      "You're welcome anytime, Dave. Is the Rust Bucket going to be ready tomorrow?" Penny asked.

      "Yes. That reminds me of one more thing. Annie once asked me to take her up in the Rust Bucket when I first met her. I refused her on the grounds then that it was a military ship. I checked our policies and couldn't find any guidance on things like that for us. Anyway, I promised that I would check into it and think about it. I'm still not sure that I want to take her up in a gunship. Regardless of how I feel, what is the company policy?" I asked.

      She said, "Dave, you're the captain. You have the discretion to take someone up if you feel like it. If you want to take her along on a trip at her own risk, and yours, then go ahead and do it. As long as you don't neglect your duties and responsibilities, you can do just about whatever you please on your ship. So, the ball's back in your court. Sorry, but I'm not going to give you a policy on this that might be detrimental to our needs later on. You'll have to make that decision."

      I replied, "Okay, Penny. That's a fair answer. I'll think about it before I answer Annie."

      Penny said, "I know you will, Dave. Have a safe journey tomorrow."

      I replied, "I will. Good night."

Annie came out to see me off in the morning. She looked so depressed that I finally made the decision about taking her on the Rust Bucket. I called to the office from the ship, asking them to call her father and inform him that she would be with me and my responsibility, while I waved at her to run to the hatch and come on board. She handed the ignition card for her hover to Jim before running out to the ship and inside, where I allowed her to sit with me on the bridge as we took off five minutes later, right on time. The moment she came on board with her eyes bright and cheery as I remembered them from before, I knew I had made the right decision about bringing her along as far as her sake was concerned. Now, it was up to me to make sure that nothing happened to her on the entire trip.

      As soon as we got into orbit, I ran the 'battle stations' drill as we always did. It thrilled and excited Annie as she watched out in space at the targets our gunners perforated with their shots. I thought for a moment that it might frighten her when I announced "battle stations." Evidently she remembered what little I told her of it before during some of our chats.

      We were on the route to Gabriel. I wasn't much worried about the trip out so much as the return trip. I would later discover that I needn't have worried. The Rust Bucket's and my reputations were already firmly in place. We were the last ship and captain that any pirate wanted to knowingly tangle with, though I didn't know it at the time.

      I allowed Annie to indulge herself on board the ship during the day. By the second day, she must have talked to every crew member and officer. She then walked around naked with their blessings. At night, I indulged her personally in my bed. I even asked her to make love to me and was, again, responded to with the same bright, cheery, bouncy woman whom I first met. By the second night, I knew that I was in love with her. I decided then that I would propose to her once I got her back safely on Beulah where she could begin attending to the arrangements for a wedding.

***

The return trip was as uneventful as the trip out to Gabriel. Not one pirate showed up in our vicinity the entire trip, possibly disappointing Annie, but not me. When we started our landing approach, Annie put on her clothes for the first time in almost two weeks.

      She walked out arm in arm with me, after my First Officer said that she would see to the ship's maintenance. I thanked her and said that I would return shortly after seeing Annie off. I walked Annie to the office. We stopped for a moment as Jim handed the ignition key to Annie's hover to her and told her where it was. Then I walked with her to her hover.

      "I'd like to come over tonight, if I may?" I asked.

      "I could pick you up," she suggested.

      "Sure, I'd like that. Will your father be home? I need to ask him something."

      "What? Can you tell me?" she asked.

      I replied, "I will then. Can you pick me up in time to talk with him before he goes to bed or out on some kind of duty?"

      She said, "All right. I wish you'd tell me why you need to see him."

      I answered, "I'm going to do something for him. That's about all I can say for now."

      I watched her leave in her hover, slightly confused about what I was up to, but completely obedient to me in my wishes. Then I returned to the ship and assisted my First Officer in taking care of the ship to prepare it for quick departure in case a special shipment needed to be sent out aside from our regular escort runs.

***

I was waiting in the office area. Annie showed up just before five in the afternoon to pick me up. I drove us to the base and then to her father's quarters where she lived with him. About the only thing I hadn't thought of was where Annie and I would live if she accepted my proposal. I only knew that we could afford to live comfortably on what I was making and had saved.