Ruthlessly His (15 page)

Chris and I eventually make it to our feet. Although, I’m not so sure either one of us wants to let go of each other. I invite him to sleep over, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see that he’s agreed, even after I screwed him over the last time. I still don’t plan on making this a long-term thing, but I’m starting to doubt myself a little bit more and more with each moment that I spend with him. It’s just that I’m really not good at long-term relationships even though I know that settling down with somebody, a good man like Chris, would probably do me a lot of good.

Still, I know I'm not ready deep down. Not even for Chris. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy tonight, though, and I promise I will give him the goodbye he deserves in the morning.

He uses my shower and comes down wearing one of my robes. Jesus, he looks so gorgeous fresh out of the shower. Almost good enough to distract me from the text I just got from Sarah.

“Is everything okay?” he asks. Of course, as much as I just tried to hide how worried I am about the situation with Max, he picks up on my stress right away.

“I’m fine, just dealing with the ex. You know how it goes, right?” I say.

Chris looks at me as though he almost feels bad for me. “No, not really. I’ve never been married, and I’ve never had a kid. But I know what it’s like to suffer. Do you want to tell me a little bit more about what’s going on?”

Okay, so this is new. I’ve never actually had a real conversation about my feelings with another man. Chris seems like the kinda guy I can trust, at least for tonight. The Hart boys aren’t exactly the type to talk about their feelings. My brothers and I were raised to get shit done, get it done quickly, and to not complain along the way. I’m not so sure that method is working out so well though when it comes to matters with Max.

“I fucked some things up,” I admit.

Chris puts his hand on my arm. I swear to God heat rises up my whole fucking arm, through my shoulder, and into my neck. Only it’s not the kind of heat that I usually feel, it’s not just sexual heat… It’s something else.

“I find that hard to believe,” he says.

“What, that I fucked things up?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Chris looks around my kitchen. “I mean, look at this place. Look at what you’ve done. You’re obviously super successful, even though I still don’t even know what you do exactly. Come to think of it, that could be because you never fucking told me.”

I put my hand on his. Wow, this might be what real feelings actually feel like. I’m not going to go so far and say love, because we just met. But still, clearly we have a connection, and it’s definitely not like any connection I’ve ever had with any other human being. Definitely not like what I had with Sarah, which I had to find out the hard way. But I haven’t had this connection with another man either.

Not until Chris. If only it could last.

* * *

Chris

I can’t describe how weird it is seeing a man like Shane be so vulnerable. Why do I get the feeling this is the first time he’s ever really opened up?

He squeezes my hand tight, and I don’t want him to stop. Is he feeling what I’m feeling? I hope to God he is. So maybe this can’t work out long-term for us. But still, I can at least hope that I’m not the only one out of the two of us picking up on this crazy special energy between us right now.

“I buy commercial real estate. I purchase and develop lots of big, big buildings in this city mainly, but up and down the east coast outside of Boston too.”

“You make it sound like it’s no big deal,” I say.

He looks deeply into my eyes. “I’m proud of what I’ve done in my career. But I wasn’t around as much as I should’ve been for Max. And that fucking hurts. I regret every second of it now, but it’s too late.”

His lips tremble slightly as he talks. I wonder if there’s more to the story than he’s letting on. “Okay, so… So you move on. You make up for it. You forget about the past, and you build the best future you can with your son.” I can’t believe I’m saying shit like this to him, but it just comes out so naturally. I want to help him right now so badly, and I don’t even know why. I just do.

“Yeah I know, but my ex-wife has me by the balls. She’s fighting me hard in the courts. And my side of the story doesn’t look good. I was the breadwinner, not the caretaker. Don’t get me wrong, I still am the breadwinner. But I want him in my life just as much as she gets to have him. I think I deserve that, and I think it’s what’s best for Max.”

I nod my head up and down to validate his feelings. Maybe he hasn’t been the best father. But I agree with him; he deserves a chance to make things right. And Max should be with both parents, regardless of how things have been up until this point.

“So why don’t you just tell whatever judge is handling this how you feel? Really let him know that you’re ready to be the best dad you can be?” I say.

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do, or what I’m having my lawyer try to do at least. But it’s not easy, this judge is a woman… She’s not particularly fond of men with my profile.”

“Who does she expect you to be?” I say.

He shakes his head from side to side and frowns. “Who the fuck knows? I just get the sense that she doesn’t seem too excited about giving me the benefit of the doubt.”

“Then prove her wrong. Show her that you're ready to kick some fucking ass as a dad.”

Shane looks off to the side as he ponders what I just said. His mouth breaks out into a beautiful smile.

“What’s so damn funny?” I ask him.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “I just can’t believe I’m sitting here with my son’s teacher having this conversation right now.”

I look around at my surroundings. Then I point my eyes directly at his. “Yeah, ditto. I feel the same way, only vice versa.”

Shane gets up and walks over to his refrigerator. He tosses me a purple-ish can of sparkling water. “Here, that’ll help take the edge off,” he jokes. He cracks open his own can and starts draining the carbonated water down his throat. Just watching him have a fucking drink of water is turning me on again. I can’t stand being this attracted to him.

Even worse, I feel like what we have together is way more than just some insanely intense sexual attraction.

“So how many Hart kids are there out there in the world?” I ask.

He snickers before taking another massive gulp from his can. “Two and a half of us, if you count my brother, Jay, as half-human.”

I cross my arms in front of my chest. “Half-human?”

He rolls his eyes and starts fiddling with a flimsy aluminum container from his fridge that looks and smells like it’s filled with chicken parm leftovers. “We don’t talk to Jay anymore.”

“We?”

“My brother Colby and I.”

“Shit, I’d hate to be on both of your bad sides,” I say.

He shoots me a cross glance. “Yeah, you don’t know the half of it.”

“What did he do to piss you off so much that you won’t even talk to your own brother?”

Shane raises a brow. His voice is suddenly sterner, as much as he tries to keep things seemingly light. “You all done asking questions, Dr. Phil? Sensitive Shane has left the building, especially when it comes to talking about that motherfucker.”

I polish off my lime seltzer and pretend to be a meathead as I try to crush it on my forehead.

Shane laughs out loud as I get nowhere fast; my feeble attempt leaves the can in its exact original shape prior to me trying to smash it on my forehead.

“Like this,” he says, effortlessly flattening the can on his iron forehead.

I laugh back. “Okay, you win Captain America.”

Shane flexes his biceps and pumps his fists in the air in a superhero-like fashion.

Then my worst nightmare comes to life.

And it comes fast.

Shane looks over at the clock on his microwave and crinkles his nose. “It’s late as fuck, bro. I have to send you,” he says, spending more time looking anywhere but directly at me.

The energy between us has clearly shifted, and I begin to wonder if what I thought was something special between us was all in my head.

“I can call you a ride home,” he says awkwardly.

I stare down at his robe that I’m wearing, then look over at my clothes that I came in. I’m speechless and embarrassed as fuck for a moment as I ponder all the things I want to say like…

Can I see you again?

Do you feel as strongly about me as I do about you?

But I’m not really in the mood to get burned, and besides, I knew this moment would come sooner than later. I just didn’t imagine things would end this abruptly again.

“Thanks for the bike, you didn’t have to do that,” I say, wishing I had said something a bit more clever.

“Enough already,” he says lightly. “It was the least I could do considering what I made your old bike go through.”

I throw my clothes back on while Shane grabs another water from his fridge and pretends not to watch me get dressed.

I stick my hands in my pockets awkwardly. I shrug my shoulders like a nervous high school freshman and say, “Well then, thanks.”

He looks down quickly at the floor, saying nothing at first.

Then he steals my breath away as he suddenly pulls me quickly into his arms and presses his lips onto mine. Fuck, I didn’t expect that from him right now. But just when I’m starting to enjoy the moment, it’s gone. He pulls away from me quickly and I know I’ll never feel those lips of his again.

What did I expect?

I grab the most expensive bike I’ve ever laid my hands on, the one that he got for me… I give him one more nod, then leave. As I try to make my way out of his driveway, I have to do everything I can to fight back tears. Don’t be a pussy, Chris, I try to tell myself.

The one thing I get right is this - I don’t look back. I made that mistake at the bar on the night that I first met him, but I won’t ever make it again with Shane Hart.

* * *

I barely make my way to work the next morning. I hardly slept last night, not surprisingly. School’s about to start in ten minutes, and I try my best to get my classroom ready. Our type-A assistant principal, Clarissa, walks into my classroom with a young woman who looks like she’s barely out of high school.

“Good morning, Chris. This is Ava, she’s going to be subbing for your class today.”

What the fuck?

I give our assistant principal a look of utter confusion. She nods simply and says, ”Colby wants you in his office ASAP.”

Fuck. My worst nightmare is coming true. I need to think of a way to keep my job because obviously it's in serious jeopardy. I knew mingling with my boss’s brother was the worst idea ever, but I just couldn’t stop myself. And I’m about to pay the price. I mean,
this just can’t be good. He’s already got a substitute ready to fill my shoes. No warning? No conversation with my union rep? I must have gone too far this time.

I walk into my boss’s office and he’s wearing that the Robert De Niro Raging Bull expression on his face. In fact, I rarely see him not looking like he just killed somebody or he’s about to just kill somebody. “Sit down,” he says.

Colby rolls up his dark blue dress shirt sleeves revealing thick, muscular forearms riddled with tattoos from back in the day. I’ve heard stories about him, more like legends.

Colby Hart looks down at his desk filled with papers and chuckles to himself. Then out of nowhere, his face goes completely deadpan.

Here it comes.

“I’m giving you the day off,” he says.

I can’t hide the shock that’s written all over my face. “The day off?” I say.

“Do I stutter?”

I shake my head. “No, not at all.”

Colby is silent for a long moment. Then he looks directly at me. “I need you to help my brother, Shane. He asked me to reach out to you.”

WTF?

Okay, so this is definitely not what I expected to hear from my boss. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” I ask him.

He studies my face carefully as though he’s scoping me out to determine whether or not I’m good enough for his family. “My brother likes you, and that’s a first for him. And he needs your help, and that’s also a first for him too. Shane gets shit done and gets shit done well, so for him to reach out for help, I know it’s serious.”

I can feel my face burning red from the blood rushing to my skin. “Of course, I’ll do anything.”

“I thought you would say that. Now get the fuck out of my office and call my brother. Here, here’s his cell phone number,” he says as he hands me a small piece of torn paper with Shane’s phone number on it.

I go to leave my boss’s office until he calls out to me, stopping me dead in my tracks. “Hey Chris, one more thing.” I turn to face him. “Get your ass back in my fucking school tomorrow morning, you got it?” he says, wearing a wide smile on his face.

I nod my head in agreement. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I leave the school and start to text Shane immediately. My heart is racing so hard I’m not sure if I’m happy as hell or scared as fuck.

I hit send on my phone to see what’s up with him. The second I put my phone back in my pocket, it starts to vibrate. It’s a text from him.

Shane:
Can you help me?

Me:
Of course, brother. What do you need?

Shane:
I sent you a car. It’ll take you to where you need to go and I will explain from there.

Me:
OK. Sounds a little shady but…

Shane:
The only thing that’s shady is the fact that I let you go

I read his last text twice and shake my head. Nothing makes me happier than the fact that he wants to see me, even though I don’t have a clue what this is all about. My phone vibrates again.

Shane:
I must not be as smart as I thought I was to let you go twice

I respond back.

Me:
You’re one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met.

His next text blows me the hell away.

Shane:
I want you to be a part of my life. I was just afraid to admit that to myself, and to you.