Ryker (The Powers That Be Book 4) (13 page)

He stood so fast his chair went flying backward. “No.” He looked as if I’d struck him as he shook his head looking everywhere but at me. A moment later, he rubbed his hands over his face and finally looking me in the eye said, “I can’t do this right now, Francesca. I just can’t.”

“Wh-what?” The tears were free falling down my face now.

“I’m sorry.”

He left the room leaving me standing there in shock. A few minutes later after getting myself together, I walked into the living room, grabbed my coat from the rack and left.

14—Neutral Position

I drove home in a daze totally on autopilot.

When I pulled into the complex I sat in my car for a few minutes staring out the windshield at nothing.

Well, I’d done it. I’d pushed Ryker knowing things could go badly, and boy, had they ever.

When another car pulled in, it jolted me into reality and I finally got out of my car to go inside my apartment.

“Francesca! What’s the matter, honey? Why are you crying?” Mrs. B asked from her balcony.

Huh. I hadn’t even realized I was still crying.

I gazed up at her concerned face. “It’s over.”

“Oh, sweetie, you get on up here right this minute.”

I numbly walked to the stairs and up where Mrs. B was waiting on me at her door.

“Come on in, child. Let me fix you some tea even though it’s late and the caffeine will keep me up. But this is definitely a time for tea.”

I went in and sat down at the kitchen table watching as she filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stovetop then got out cups, saucers and teabags. She busied herself around the kitchen setting the cups and saucers on the table and getting out ladyfingers arranged them on a plate that she also set on the table. When the tea kettle whistled, she turned off the burner and carried it over setting it on a trivet in the middle of the table.

“That’s more of the apple cinnamon tea. Go ahead and pour your water,” she prodded seeing that I was out of it. She even placed two ladyfingers on my saucer since I probably wouldn’t have had the wherewithal to do so.

I poured water in my cup and held onto the string of the teabag dipping it up and down in the water.

“Women are like teabags, you know. Eleanor Roosevelt herself said so.”

This caught my attention and I glanced at Mrs. B waiting for her to go on.

“Uh huh. Mrs. Roosevelt said you never know how strong it is until it’s placed in hot water.”

I nodded absentmindedly.

“And that’s how we women are, isn’t it, Francesca? We’re strong. We can handle anything because we’re tough, right?”

Another noncommittal nod.

I watched as Mrs. B stood from the table and went back into the kitchen. She pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water then walked back to the table and tossed the water right in my face.

“What’re you doing?” I shrieked, standing up and sputtering.

“I thought that’d do it. Here.” She gave me a hand towel and I wiped my face throwing in a few glares at her as if she was nuts. “Now. Have a seat and tell me what happened.”

I sat down and started at the beginning telling her how I’d dreamed of marrying Ryker but feared I’d spoiled things by sleeping with him, I explained how I’d taken her advice and we’d become friends as well as lovers, and finished up with my disoriented drive home.

She’d sat quietly listening intently to my story, nodding, smiling or frowning at all the right places and when I finished, she again nodded before taking a sip of tea.

“So?” I asked.

“So,” she answered in a sigh.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I? I did everything wrong and that’s why I’ll never have a Marco who I’ll be with for fifty-four years. I’m gonna die an old maid.”

Oh, yay. More tears.

She handed me a napkin and I wiped my eyes. “I told him I loved him and he walked out on me.”

She nodded.

“And now it’s over.”

She picked up a ladyfinger and took a bite humming in satisfaction at the taste of it.

I stared at her for a moment before asking, “Don’t you have anything to say?”

She smiled sweetly at me.

I looked down at my cup trying to stop more tears from coming which didn’t help in the least. “See? It’s so bad even you don’t know how to fix it this time.” I gazed up at her through puffy eyes to see her electric blue ones full of sympathy. “I wish you’d talk. But if you did, you’d probably just tell me again that I needed to play it smart if I want his eyes to open. You’d say to go back to being his friend and it’ll all work out. Well, you know what, Mrs. B? I already tried that and it blew up in my face!”

“Tell me why it blew up.”

Oh, now she wanted to talk. Ugh.

“Because I pushed. I wanted something so badly that I went for it and look what it got me. A big steaming bowl of nothing.”

She leaned back in her chair. “Francesca, have you ever thought that sometimes people need to be pushed?”

I sank back in my chair my posture horrible as I scowled at her. What was with all her cryptic mumbo jumbo?

“I pushed him and he pushed away. End of story. Thanks for playing, try again!” I stated sarcastically.

“I want you to follow what you just told me then let me know how it goes.”

I shook my head and stood carrying my cup and saucer to the sink. “Thank you for the tea. I’ll be by Saturday to get your grocery list.”

~*~*~*~

While I’d been at Mrs. B’s, Sharee had texted that she was going to Luke’s party with Ciara and Madison which was good because I didn’t want to explain why I was crying. It was also good because when I showered, I sobbed loudly and didn’t have to worry about her hearing.

It was only a little after nine when I crawled into bed. I was exhausted from all the crying and needed a break from the world. Which was when my phone chimed.

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:06 p.m.

Ree: Ryker’s here, where are you?

Oh, good. I’d be willing to bet my left eyeball that Nikki was there too and they were going to hook up.

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:06 p.m.

Me: In bed

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:07 p.m.

Ree: What? Why?

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:07 p.m.

Me: Long story

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:07 p.m.

Ree: Did you two have a fight?

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:08 p.m.

Me: It’s over

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:08 p.m.

Ree: I’m sorry. What’d you fight about?

Might as well get it over with.

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:09 p.m.

Me: He was a jerk after his match. I almost left but stupid me had to follow him home. Loch was there. We talked a little then Ryker & I went to talk except all he wanted to do was fuck. He wouldn’t answer my questions. I told him I loved him. He said he couldn’t do this and I left.

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:10 p.m.

Ree: Wow. I’m so sorry, Frankie : (

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:10 p.m.

Me: Me too

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:10 p.m.

Ree: Blonde chick is here hanging on him

Something in me clicked when I read her text. I’d been chasing Ryker from the start and although I was in love with him, I was finished chasing him. If he wanted Nikki, then I wished them luck but I thought it was sad that he felt that all he needed in his life was hookups. It dawned on me that he and I lived in two totally different worlds and never the twain shall meet, as Mrs. B would say. And I was fine with that.

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:11 p.m.

Me: Good for them. I’m going to sleep. Love you. Be careful (I know I didn’t ask about Chance & I’m sorry. Tell me about him tomorrow, k?) xo

Text Message—Thurs, Jan 29, 9:14 p.m.

Ree: I will. Love you too xx

I turned off my light, rolled to my side and was out.

~*~*~*~

Even though I was okay, I called in sick to school Friday morning not ready to face Ryker just yet.

I was sure he’d been with Nikki and I didn’t want to see the smug look on his face when he came in.

So I went back to sleep.

Share woke me at two asking if I was going to get out of bed today. I told her I’d get up whenever I wanted to. She informed me that Ryker hadn’t left the party with Nikki and I told her I didn’t care and went back to sleep.

At seven, Mom called asking if I was coming to dinner. I lied and told her I didn’t feel well and after we hung up, I slept.

At ten Saturday morning, I finally got up and showered after having spent over thirty-six hours in bed. I changed my sheets, put in a load of laundry then called to set up a nail appointment for Sharee and me that afternoon. That evening, she and I went to a movie after eating at a new restaurant we’d been wanting to try out.

She’d told me that she’d talked to Chance at the party but wasn’t sure she wanted to start things up again her reason being that since he was pre-med and she was pre-law they’d never see each other anyway. It made sense but I was still sad. I guess the dreamer in me wanted them to be together and happy, and thinking that way actually surprised me because I knew that what had happened with Ryker and me hadn’t broken me. I was still a dreamer and that was a good thing. 

Sunday morning I cleaned around the house, vacuuming, dusting, and mopping floors before grabbing my Kindle and getting lost in
Jane Eyre
well into the evening. Only then did I think about lesson plans and having to face Ryker but I knew I’d be okay. If Jane Eyre could make it through everything she had, I could deal with one.

~*~*~*~

“Where were ya Friday, kid?” Coach G asked Monday morning when I got to the gym.

Ryker was already there setting up two volleyball nets and I saw his lips purse when I told Coach that I must’ve picked up a nasty bug the night before.

The first graders came running in right after the bell.

“Where were you Friday, Coach M?” Taylor, a cute little snowy-haired girl asked.

“I was sick,” I explained.

“Did you go to the doctor?” Jeffery, a Precious Moments figurine lookalike asked.

“No, but I did stay in bed for a very long time.”

“I’m glad you’re back,” Melody, the resident fashion plate in training, said and I gave her a hug thanking her.

“You should’ve been here, Coach M! We played dodgeball against Coach Powers by himself and we won! Jonathan hit him really hard in the head too!” Jeffery informed me with his big brown eyes sparkling.

“Oh no!” I said and looked at Jonathan who was bigger than the rest of the kids but shy as all get out. “Did you knock any sense into him?” Jonathan blushed as he gave me a shrug and the rest of the kids giggled like crazy asking Coach Powers if he’d heard what I said.

With his back to us all hooking up the net he replied, “I heard it. And you can tell Coach M that I think maybe it did.” He looked over his shoulder at me and winked.

Now what was that all about?

“Okay, are you ready to pick teams?” I asked and chaos ensued when twenty-two little wriggly bodies began jumping all over the place. “Raisa and Marshall, you’re the team captains for this side of the floor and Jackie and Gerald, you’re the team captains for this side and you get to pick whomever you want to be on your teams.”

I always made sure to pick kids who’d generally be chosen last to be the captains that way they’d be guaranteed to be on a good team and maybe it helped their self-esteem a little.

The nets were finished and the games began. Ryker and I walked around showing the kids how to serve underhanded, of course letting them scoot up if they couldn’t get the ball over the net and teaching them how the game was scored.

When the bigger kids came in, the nets were raised and teams picked. They were a bit more serious about the game and knew what they were doing so it didn’t take a whole lot of coaching them.

Ryker didn’t say another word to me the rest of the day only waving when he left for practice at lunch.

The next two weeks went the same. Ryker’s and my lesson plans being checked by Coach G then used to pick different activities to get the kids moving and Ryker remaining silent and aloof toward me but having fun with the kids which I was glad of. They loved when he got involved and I had to admit it was quite entertaining to see. He also missed a couple days for matches, and glutton for punishment that I was, I couldn’t help checking the school paper to keep up with how he was doing. He was still undefeated for the year, which made me happy for him.

So even though I was still hurt I felt like I was slowly healing. Nothing like having to see the object of your pain on a daily basis to speed up the old healing process. Good to see that my use of sarcasm was in no way affected by everything.