Sacrifice (29 page)

Once Lucas and I had made our decision, it was hard to think about anything else. This night was something we’d talked about before—but more as an abstract concept than a reality, something beautiful and vague hovering at the edge of perception. Now that we’d chosen our moment, the details were starting to take shape.

I saw Lucas the next morning, as Dad and I were loading another day’s worth of water and supplies into our car; I’d been forbidden to lift anything heavier than a book for two weeks by the doctor at the emergency room. Of course, he couldn’t know that—thanks to my Lilitu heritage—my arm would be completely healed in another few days. But since the break was still pretty recent, Dad wanted me to take it easy.

“I’ve got the rest, kiddo.” He smiled, then nodded as Lucas headed over. “Make it fast. We’ve got to hit the road soon.”

Lucas joined me on our front drive, waiting for Dad to disappear into our house before he spoke. “I found a place.”

He didn’t have to say anything else; I knew exactly what he meant. We’d realized early on that we couldn’t risk spending our one night together at either of our homes. It would have to be someplace else. My heart flipped over in my chest, and I shot a quick back at my house to make sure Dad was still out of earshot.

“Where?”

“Don’t you want to be surprised?” Lucas’s eyes twinkled.

“Well, surprises are pretty sweet, but it’ll be a lot harder to get there if I don’t know where I’m going.”

“Yeah. You make an excellent point.” Lucas turned and walked back to the Guard’s house, smiling mischievously.

“Hey!” I pounced, catching his hand. “That is just mean spirited.”

Lucas clasped his other hand over mine. I was acutely aware of the warmth of his skin on my skin. He turned my hand over, tracing a finger across the sensitive surface of my palm. I looked up and our eyes connected. The feeling was so much more intense than anything we’d shared in a dream, and he was just touching my hand. I imagined his hands on my skin, trailing these liquid-fire sensations all over my body. My heart skipped again, and suddenly I was blushing.

“Sorry, you were saying?” Lucas’s eyes crinkled; I could see he was holding back a chuckle.

I cleared my throat. “Was I?”

Lucas suddenly dropped my hand, his expression neutral—as though he had no idea he’d just revved up my blood pressure to an all-time high. “Morning, Mr. Murphy.”

“You’re up bright and early.”

I heard Dad emerge from the house behind me, but I was blushing too hotly to turn around. Dad would see my face, and that would raise more questions than I was comfortable answering right now.

“Had trouble sleeping.” Lucas’s eyes snagged on my face, and I felt another surge of heat light my cheeks. This was getting worse by the second. I dropped my head, letting the waves of my long brown hair shield my complexion.

“Braedyn, honey, I’m almost packed up. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, Dad. Ready when you are.” I waved a hand over my shoulder, pretending to be distracted by something on my phone.

“Okay. T-minus three minutes to departure.”

Behind me, Dad ducked back into the house one last time. I glanced up at Lucas. He was biting his lip, trying hard not to laugh. I smacked the back of my hand across his stomach.

“Clearly you’ve never heard the part about discretion being the better part of valor.”

“Yeah, I have no idea what that means.” Lucas grinned openly at me.

“It means if we don’t want our business to turn into Guard business, we need to avoid arousing suspicion.”

“Roger that.” Lucas gave me a faux salute, but he also dialed down the heat in his gaze.

“Thank you.”

Dad reemerged behind us. Confident that I wasn’t beet red any longer, I joined him at the car, pausing to give Lucas one last look before sliding into the passenger seat. He watched me, his smile full of a smoldering anticipation.

It was going to be a long week.

Long week
turned out to be an understatement. I’d never really thought about how many times Lucas and I ran into each other on a given day. Now, each time I saw him, our secret rendezvous leapt to the front of my mind, driving all other thoughts away. I’d be talking to Hale or Dad or Gretchen and Lucas would enter the room, scattering my thoughts as easily as if he’d knocked a jar of marbles out of my hands. More than once, I had to invent an urgent task that needed my immediate attention. After claiming I’d left the water boiling on my stove for the second time, Gretchen scrutinized me closely.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Huh?” I tried to keep my eyes wide and innocent.

“You just seem a little distracted lately.” Gretchen frowned. “Maybe you should see if Hale will give you a day off from Guard stuff. You know, let you hang out like a normal teenager for once.”

“Hm.” I didn’t have to fake interest in this idea.

Gretchen smiled wistfully. “Sometimes I forget that you and Lucas are just kids. We ask a lot of you guys. So—in case you don’t hear it enough—thanks. You’ve really risen to the task at hand.”

Her words stuck with me the rest of the day. The creeping guilt I’d tried to keep at bay since Lucas and I decided to claim our night together came swelling back with a vengeance. But now, in addition to the guilt, I also felt—I don’t know—wronged. I’d grown up most of my life, thinking I was a human girl. I’d never worried too much about boyfriends, figuring I’d meet the right guy when the time was right. And then I met Lucas—just in time to find out that my embrace could cause him irreparable harm. So here I was, turning 18 in five months, standing on the cusp of adulthood. Only, the future laid out for other girls was something I might never experience. Sansenoy’s promise to grant me humanity? There was no telling when—or if—I’d ever be able to redeem it.

Maybe we were rushing into this. Maybe it’d make more sense to wait. But maybe I’d never become human. Maybe the timing for us would never be better. One night. That was all we might ever have.

Lucas and I both wanted this. Yes, our one night together would weaken Lucas, but he’d be able to recover. It was a sacrifice he wanted to make, for something we both wanted to experience. And so I kept my head down, did my work, and lived in anticipation of the weekend.

On Saturday morning, I found Dad in the kitchen drinking his morning coffee.

“I’m ready,” I said, hefting my cast in the air. “Let’s cut this sucker off.”

Dad’s eyebrows hiked up. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I brought my cast down on the edge of the counter, hard enough to make the sugar bowl jump. “See? Not even a twinge. Let’s do this thing.”

Dad shrugged and set his coffee down. “I’ll get the saw.”

The Guard saw enough broken bones that removing casts wasn’t something all that extraordinary. Dad returned with a dremel, and carefully cut through the hard shell of the cast. We worked together to clip away the gauzy interior, and in 15 minutes, my arm was free. I held it up, eyeing the pasty hue in contrast with the light tan on the rest of my arm. One week out of the sun made more of a difference than I’d expected.

Dad examined my arm. “Well, seems you were right, kiddo. Looks good as new, as far as I can tell.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I planted a kiss on Dad’s cheek. “I should go. I told Hale I’d be up for training again this morning.”

“Take it easy,” Dad cautioned. But I was already running for the front door.

“I will. Love you!” I burst out of my house, taking in a deep lungful of the fresh June air. One day to go. Nothing was going to bring me down.

I was the first one in the basement for training, but I had too much energy to sit around and wait. I launched into the form that Lucas had first taught me almost two years ago. Since I’d started training with Hale, I’d learned three more versions, each growing in complexity. Moving through the form, it was easy to visualize the imaginary opponent the motions were designed to fight. I pictured Elyia, falling back before my blades. Having a specific enemy to focus on helped heighten my concentration. It wasn’t until I’d finished the form—and Hale started clapping—that I realized I had an audience.

Amber and Hale stood at the bottom of the basement stairs. Hale grinned, but Amber looked startled. No—she looked
impressed.

“I haven’t seen you run through the whole form in months,” Hale said. “You’ve definitely mastered version three. Maybe we should start you on version four. How do you feel about double-bladed axes?”

“Uh—conflicted?” I was still breathing hard from the workout.

Hale laughed and ushered Amber into the room. I sheathed my daggers and left them on the table beside the looming weapons rack. Amber eyed them, curious. Hale noticed her interest.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon enough. You’ve almost made it through our basic hand-to-hand course.”

“Ooo,” Amber said, her voice clipped with obvious sarcasm. “My very own antique knives. All the other girls will be so jealous.”

Hale gave Amber a mild smile, then clapped his hands. “Right. Let’s review what we covered last week.”

Hale led us through another tough session. We hadn’t trained while I’d had my cast on, so we had some catching up to do. And yet, even though it was tough, I was glad of the distraction. I’d take anything that would get my mind off the seconds squeaking by until Lucas and I were alone together.

At the end of the session, I looked up as Lucas stepped off the last stair into the basement, an eager gleam in his eye.

“Okay, ladies. Let’s pick this up again tomorrow.” Hale glanced at me. “Gretchen suggested I give you a break. What do you say we train tomorrow morning, and then you can have the rest of the day for yourself?”

“That would be awesome!” I glanced at Lucas, and saw the same startled excitement I felt registering on his face.

“Excellent. Shall we start at 9:00 AM sharp?”

Amber made a little groan of protest, but she didn’t object.

“Then 9:00 it is.” Hale tossed a small towel over his shoulder and headed back up to the main house.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Amber said, unscrewing the cap from a bottle of water. “I thought cheer practice was tough.”

“What do you mean? You’re kicking ass.” I gave Amber an encouraging smile. She returned it, then downed several long gulps of water.

“A truce between Amberlandia and the great state of Braedyn?” Lucas joined us, hopping up to sit on the table. “Will wonders never cease.”

“Careful, mister.” I pulled a bottle of water out of my bag, following Amber’s example. “You’re talking to two trained fighters here.”

“Are you trained for this?” Lucas snatched the bottle out of my hands.

I squealed and lunged for it.

“How about this?” Lucas hoisted the bottle even higher over his head, pulling it away just as my hands were about to close around it. I found myself face to face with him, giggling and jumping for the water.

Amber gave a long-suffering sigh. “Seriously, you two. Get a room, already.”

My playful mood evaporated. I met Lucas’s eyes, feeling somehow exposed. Lucas lowered the bottle of water.

Amber froze, suddenly hearing what she’d said. “Oh. That came out—I didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s fine.” Lucas stood, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously.

“No, that was—” Amber looked at me, stricken. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Really, Amber.” I held up my hands, as if to say,
no harm, no foul.
“It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay.” Amber eyed the staircase. “I should probably get going.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Amber hurried toward the staircase, and in moments we heard her reach the top step.

“Yikes.” Lucas reached for me. I let him pull me close. “Little does she know.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“So. Tomorrow.”

I looked up, meeting Lucas’s golden-hazel eyes. “Tomorrow.” Even saying the word lit a small fire in my core.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this.”

“We only get this one night,” I murmured. “We have to make it perfect.”

“It will be.” Lucas traced the line of my jaw with his hand. “We’ll be together.”